Essence of Two Men
by SinortiaDanzer
Summary: It's always be a struggle to pick between Jack and Sawyer.When Kate finds it hard to forgive Jack can Sawyer help her forget him? Or will something pull her back to Jack?
1. Tired of Looking

**Essence of Two Men**

**Disclaimer: **Some language and sexual content

As always I don't only any part of LOST or it charcters. THey are the brain child of other geinus(s). So enjoy despite the fact.

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**Not in the Mood**

"You're not the only one on this island Jack!" Kate voice could be heard all through the caves.

"Kate calm down." Jack tired to coax her.

The others sat listening and watching as the two fought. No one really knew how it started. Just that Kate flew in ranting and raving with Jack right behind her trying to clam things down.

The two had been trying to be secret about the way they were together. A few had seen them kiss and giggled behind their backs. They all knew it as well as themselves what was going on. What was the sense in hiding it anymore?

Now they were fighting. It had been a while since they had fought. A long while. And before that it was only a little bicker here and there. This time it was different. This time he had made her mad.

"I am so fed up with you acting like you know what we're all going through." Kate yelled as she turned to face Jack.

Her face was on the verge of tears as his was filled with apology.

"Kate look…' Jack began as he went to rest his hands on her bare shoulders only cover by the small piece of cloth that was the strap of her white tank top, which came down over her stomach and rested over the top of the long flowing hippie style skirt that flowed over her feet the ground. She had found it in abandoned luggage.

She looked down to his hand. Pulling out of his grasp he looked down to her with a puzzling look.

"I'm tired of looking Jack." She said in a low voice as turned away.

"Kate…" He called as he watched her walk over to her stuff next to Charlie's.

She ignored him as she pulled her loose curls into a bun and then picked up her backpack and swung it over her shoulder. She wasn't in the mood for his games. They were begging to aggravate her. She looked back at him standing there with a distrustful glare and turned down the trail to the beach.

"Where are you going?" He called after her.

"I'm staying on the beach." She yelled back not caring whether or not he followed her.

He started after her before Locke grabbed his arm and stopped him. Jack turned to see Charlie and Locke behind him with opposing stares.

"Let her go." Locke said letting go of his arm.

"It's for the best right now.' Charlie said before walking over to the waterfall under Jack's stare.

Kate hurried off in trawled with her own thoughts. Jack sometimes acted like such a child. Like he was only one on the island with problems. She looked down to the ground in a daze not paying the least to anything around her. She didn't care about any of that at the moment.

"Whoa Boy! If it isn't miss tomboy wearing a skirt." A familiar, but less aggravating voice then the voice in her head called.

If she hadn't been so irritated over Jack and been paying attention she would have saw as she bumped into him.

"Whoa there Freckles." He chuckled as he looked down catching her.

She looked up seeing that smirk on his face as she pushed herself from his arms. Brushing down her clothes she turned and started on again not in the mood for his antics. She quickly got away from him.

"What's your problem?" He asked with a hint of offense in his voice as he quickly caught up to her.

"Not in the mood Sawyer." She shot back turning to miss a branch in her way.

"What do you mean not in the mood?" He questioned as he leaned in close to her.

As she neared the valley she stopped almost causing Sawyer to bump into her. She looked out over the valley seeing the ocean in the far off distance. The waves coming and going back out. It seemed so far from where she stood. It made her feel so small.

"Hello? Earth to Kate." Sawyer called from behind her.

Reminded he was there she turned around.

"Look. I really am not in the mood right now. So please for once just leave me alone." Kate snapped before turning around.

He stood there watching after her with question. She seemed a little more then not in the mood she was down right pissy. What had happened to her? Brushing off as not his problem he headed on after her to the beach forgetting the reason he had come up there.

No one came out and questioned why she was on the beach, but they all wondered. Sayid and Shannon, now an item sat in their tent watching her as she walked with fury. She said nothing and didn't look to either of them. She just walked over to a deserted part of the shore and made a small camp. When Sawyer came out only minutes behind her some questioned if he was the reason.

As the sun set Kate stared in a gaze. The sky turned with brilliant purples, pinks, and oranges as the sun slowly disappeared behind the water taking all the colors with it leaving a sky of black spotted with sparkling stars. A now dwindling fire lit up her surroundings.

Everyone had cozied down to a restful tone. Some asleep and some taking in the advantages of the night. Kate sat alone in her spot staring into the flames watching them dance as they created heated shadows upon her face.

Jack hadn't come looking for her. That kinda of worried her, but also put her at ease. He finally got the point. Still she wished he would have followed her and tried to resolve their issues. But for the first time he hadn't done that and it was weird trying to adjust to that fact.

Caught up in her thoughts she didn't see Sawyer walk up. She didn't even notice him until he sat down next to her. She glanced over to see him for the first time without that grin greeting her. Turning away she looked back to the flames.

"Gonna be miss quiet?" He asked looking over to her with seriousness on his face.

She nodded her head as she leaned over adjusting some twigs in the fire. Quickly she became aware of him watching her. She wanted to look over and put her heart out on her sleeve, but this was Sawyer. She couldn't do it without fear of repercussions.

"What's wrong? Jack not giving it up good enough?" Sawyer asked bringing that smart ass attempt into play.

She closed her eyes exhaling.

"No Sawyer. We haven't even slept together." Kate announced.

"Oh. Maybe that's the reason your pissy.' He assumed with sloppy chuckle.

Kate turned back to him opening her eyes. The looked she gave him was of aggravation that let him grin. Turning away trying to hide his smile he came back to see her turned back to the fire staring aimlessly into it again. Something was really bothering her. It sorta poked him in the wrong places to see her like this. The places that told him to actually give a crap.

"What wrong?" He sighed leaned up next to her. She looked back to him.

"You really wanna know?' She asked taken back by the mere thought of his concern.

"Yeah. I don't like seeing you like this." He said trying his hardest to sound honest

She turned back not believing him. There was no way that Sawyer actually wanted to know what was wrong with her. And if he actually did it was for his own benefit.

"Come on." He tried to coax her as her nudged her in her side with his finger.

Taking a deep breath she pondered what she was doing as she turned to him.

"Jack is a real asshole." She said feeling good to get it out.

"More like Jackass. Could've told you that." Sawyer sniggered.

"He just acts like he knows everything and that he's the only one out here." Kate began, as she didn't even seem to notice Sawyer's comment.

"He always apologizes for it and I forgive him. Then he just does it again." She kept on as anger filled her voice.

"Maybe I should just forget about him or …God I don't know." She said as tears formed in her eyes.

Sawyer was taken back at the sight of a tear rolling down her cheek. His brow was furrowed at the thought of what he should do. She lowered her head trying to hide it knowing it made him uncomfortable. Bringing her hand up she wiped away her tears as thoughts of everything Jack wound a knot in her stomach.

They sat in silence as neither wanted to say anything. Kate was too upset and Sawyer felt awkward with the whole thing. A breeze came up taking her loose curls across her face. As it wiped across Sawyer's face it changed. His face lightened up as he looked over to Kate who still sat in pity.

"Look I'm sorry he's such an ass." Sawyer tried to get out as he got up.

Looking up to him she had a look of plead in her eyes. For once she wanted him to say she had at least someone to talk to.

"Don't let him being an ass get you down." He said trying to give her some advice.

She turned back to the fire with tears again in her eyes. He stood next to her wanting to say more, but couldn't bring himself to it. With that looming thought he turned and headed back to his tent. The more he inched away from her the worse he felt. He scuffled his shoes in the sand brining piles of it up in front of him. Putting his hands in his pockets he lifted his shoulders in a stiff walk.

As he came to his tent he stopped and looked back to Kate across the beach. Her body only lit by the fire as she sat in front of it. Her curls caught up with every ocean breeze that came in. She leaned over at fire and poured the last of he bottle of water over it extinguishing it. Then she lay back on her backpack and turned to her side. A lump grew in his throat watching her. He held his head up from the gravity of shame as he ducked under the tarp into his tent.

With the sun coming up it brought with it an old habit. Kate stood now in a pair of pants in the surf with her arms folded across her chest. She had a gaze upon the horizon. Blocking out everything and every thought she just stood there as the waves came up burying her feet even more.

Today was her day off. Every since they crashed on that island she's done her part and more. Now it was time to just stand her and do nothing. Sighing at the feeling of being alone striking her she closed her eyes. Suddenly there was a commotion on the beach. Opening her eyes she looked up the beach. Jack had made his way from the caves. He was walking around with Sayid handing out water. She took a deep breath knowing something was going to happen.

Quickly he spotted her. As he came down the beach she started to make her get away. She glanced over to see the pleading in his eyes, but didn't let them get to her. She walked right past him up the beach. He stopped stunned by her rudeness and watched her as she climbed through the sand towards Sawyer's tent. Without a warning or gesture she pulled the tarp back and walked in.

Sawyer stood up as the tarp came down. He only wore pants that were held low to his hips with a raggedy old belt. He looked over to see her standing there with uncertainty written all over her.

"Looking for something?" He asked pulling a shirt over his head.

She looked around at the many things in his tent.

"Jack's on the beach." She said in a low voice.

Sawyer quickly caught on.

"Oh. So you thought you could hide in here?" He asked as he sat down on the airplane seat that was dug deep into the ground.

"Can I?' She asked thinking if she actually asked he'd let her.

"Sure. Sit down." Sawyer obliged extending his hand to the bed he had made also out of airplane seats.

Slowly she walked over under his watchful stare and sat down. They sat there in silence for minutes before any word was uttered.

"Look I'm sorry I just barged in here-"

"Don't worry about it." Sawyer assured her with a quick smile.

Looking over to the tarp as it was picked up by the wind Kate caught the sight of Jack walking back up the beach towards the trail.

"I guess I can head back out." Kate smiled meekly glancing over to him.

As she got up and headed out she stopped and turned back to him. Walking slowly over to him she felt nervousness in her stomach. He looked up to her with wonderment as she came over him. Leaning in she rested her cheek upon his. Rubbing her soft skin upon his stubble as she came back. Before she stood up she left a gentle kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you." She whispered in his ear.

Pulling back she quickly stood. Turned around and headed out. He sat there in a bit of shock of her actions. Reaching up he covered his cheek where she had kissed him. Walking out of his tent she had no thoughts in her mind about what she had just done as she quickly spotted Jack walked towards her. That feeling of nervousness turned to aggravation. She walked towards him hoping she could get past him.

"Kate." He called as she neared.

Not even giving him the satisfaction of a glance she walked right past him. She was in the clear before she felt his hand around her arm. She turned looking him in the eyes giving up.

"What was that?" He asked.

"I go to talk to you and you walk past me to Sawyer's tent." He exclaimed.

"It was nothing." Kate stammered as she looked away under his furious stare.

Jack let go as she slowly dropped her arm. He had never seen her this upset.

"Kate I'm sorry for acting like a jerk." Jack tried to apologize.

Hearing his apology Kate couldn't take it anymore. She looked up to him with new strength in her.

"Sorry isn't good enough anymore Jack." She whispered as she turned away.

He stood there let down by the little hope he had of getting her to forgive him. Watching her walked over to her stuff. Watching her walk away.

**!READ!**

_Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I am almost done with my next chapter for "Surviving the Unknown" I'll have it up on Thursday and maybe along with it a new chapter for this..._


	2. Just a Kiss

_This is a really short chapter, but a really good one in my opinion. Hope you enjoy and thanks again for all your loving reviews! _**  
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** Just a Kiss**

After her run in with Jack, Kate gathered her stuff and headed back to the caves. Not to stay just to find something to do. She was getting bored just standing in the surf. Everything on the beach was taken care of and she knew she had something to do at the caves. Plus Jack was staying on the beach for a while so she won't have to deal with him.

Carrying on along the trail to the caves by her self with her backpack slung over her shoulder she looked up to see the sun overhead shining down through the trees. There was a gentle calming breeze that always swept her curls across her face.

As a breeze quickly came up it floated across her face cooling her skin from the heat of the sun. With it was a sent. A familiar sent of the ocean breeze and some strong cologne. It aggravated her not knowing what it was. It came across her face again brining back feeling of stubble across her face. Closing her eyes she tried to see what she smell. Quick flashes of deep blue eyes and a smirking grin came before her eyes.

Suddenly the sound of footprints caught her. Opening her eyes she spun around feeling the closeness of someone. Looking up she stumbled back as she saw Sawyer standing in front of her. That smell quickly filled her sense again. It was him.

He stood with a stone cold face that sort of scared her. The look in his eyes was not quiet certain. Still they were dark and filled with thought. She had never seen him like this before.

"Sawyer. You scared me." She laughed trying to catch her breath.

Sawyer gave her a smirk as he walked over to her. She looked up to him unaware of what he was doing. He was acting a little strange.

"What?' She asked looking up to him.

"What was that back there?' He asked folding his arms across his chest.

"What was what back where?" Kate asked back completely confused about what he meant.

"Come on Kate. That little thing after little ole' Jack came up on the beach…" He began hinting at something she wasn't catching onto.

Kate. He had only called her by her name when he was serious. Sawyer was rarely serious. What did he have on his mind?

"You mean me coming into the tent?" She asked.

"If that's what your hinting at I'm not going along I already said I was-" She began shaking her head.

"Not that Freckles the kiss!" Sawyer shouted helping her quickly to the end of the game.

Kate stopped herself stared at him for a long while. She knew it had to be something he was after. He wouldn't just follow her to the caves for her going into his tent.

"Oh…" Kate said with a smirk.

'Knew it had to be something." She joked rolling her eyes.

He wasn't amused with her comment.

"It was nothing Sawyer. Don't work yourself up about-"

"Oh it wasn't nothing." Sawyer chuckled.

Kate shook her head at his ignorance. She could, but couldn't believe he was worked up about a kiss on the cheek.

"Come on. If you're so worked up about this then you really are deprived." She lightly laughed as she turned and went on her way again.

As she turned he grabbed and turned her around to him. Pulling her quickly to his chest.

"Don't act cute with me Freckles. You've been acting like this since the moment we landed on this hell hole." He growled in her face.

Kate turned her face, but not her eyes. She looked deep into his seeing this helpless little child curled up underneath a bed screaming for someone to let him out. He also saw her as he stared deep into hers. He saw what she saw someone screaming for help. Caged in a box with the lock turned into her and she held the key. All she had to do was put in the lock, but she choose not to. She choose like him to stay there where she couldn't be hurt. Both locked in an existence of their own making trying to break free, but held back by their own ways. She took a deep breath as she turned back to him.

"It was just a kiss-"

Before she could finish his lips covered hers. She was still in his arms as she tried to calm herself down from the surprise. She could feel his heart leap from his chest as she did her own. Gaining her senses she nearly fell into him. She sucked in the breath of Sawyer as she tried to overcome this feeling of suddenly wanting him.

Swallowing her guilt and anxiety she kissed him back. Nearly engulfing his lips she felt him slip the tip of his tongue between hers. With her wrists trapped in his she placed her palms upon his chest feeling his heart slow down to it's preferred pace.

"Kate." Jack voice suddenly rang in her ears.

Was it her feeling the sudden guilt of the situation. She pushed it off too involved now to pull back. Taking her bottom lip between his Sawyer nipped it in the slightest just to turn it a pale pink. A low moan escaped her throat as he did it again. Slowly he let go of her hand and slinked his down to her waist. Hers moved up under his chin curling themselves up around the collar of his shirt. Tightening his grip around her waist he pulled her close.

"Kate."

Again Jack's voice rang through her ears. This time both heard it.

Kate pulled away and looked back to where it came from. Sawyer still recuperating pressed his forehead gently to the side of her face. His breath was rough down the side of her neck as he tried to hold her closer.

"Kate." Jack voice called closer.

Her eyes steadied as she saw his outline through the trees. He was heading up from the beach. Turning around she looked into Sawyer's now satisfied eyes.

"I have to go." She breathed as she pushed herself out of his grip with her hands upon his chest.

Sawyer nodded his head not wanting a confrontation with Jack at the moment, but still that wouldn't stop him from milking the hell out of the opportunity when it came.

"This never happened." Kate warned as she turned back to him.

Quickly before he could promise her to keep his mouth shut she was off and out of his sight.

"Whatever you say Freckles." He whispered to himself with a smirk as he wiped his mouth.


	3. Unintentional Forgivness

_Finally i updated. I warn you this chapter has some sexual content at the end so don't say i didn't warn you. Hope you enjoy and please review._**  
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** Unintentional Forgiveness **

Kate quickly headed off to the caves. Her face full of heat and colored bright red. Taking a deep breath she pushed off the thoughts of what she just did. Was it Sawyer or was it her that let that happen? Or was it both of them? No matter who did it, it shouldn't have happened. Walking into the caves she looked around to see only a few people there. Charlie trying his best to be of help was organizing things. A few people here and there were bring things in and picking up other things and headed back on their way.

Walking more from the entrance Kate was stopped to a halt as Jack walked in front of her. He looked up to her with weary eyes and guilt pulling his shoulders down. She felt guilty herself looking at him. After what she just did she should be the one apologizing. She stopped her thought. Why should she apologize? She didn't do anything wrong. She kissed someone. Was that so bad? He didn't give her a smile or a gesture he just looked up to her and continued walking. She looked after him following with her eyes. Closing her eyes she tried to get him off her mind. Looking back up she walked over to where her stuff normally sat. Setting down her backpack she was caught by Charlie suddenly standing next to her.  
"Oh." She got out in surprise.

Charlie looked at her with near plead in his eyes.

"What's up?" Kate asked bending down to get something out of her backpack.

"Come back here to stay or to just do chores?" Charlie asked with offence.

Kate looked up to him struck by his attitude.

"What's wrong?" She asked as she slowly stood up.

Charlie didn't say anything as Jack came walking up behind Kate. As his presence became known Kate tried her hardest not to watch him walk away. The two were silent until Jack was out of ears range. When he was Charlie turned back and came close.

"Look Jack's not doing good without you here." He began.

"I can't just for-"

"Please stay here. He didn't get any sleep last night and he's moping around all day. I'm not asking you to forgive him just stay here and let him know your all right that's all." Charlie tried to persuade her.

Sighing at the obvious pathetic attempt to win her back Kate looked away.

"Please Kate." Charlie begged.

Jack shouldn't have acted how he acted. It was his problem and he sent Charlie to clear it up. Kate then lowered her head quickly feeling guilty again about Sawyer. She shouldn't have acted how she acted. But what happened happened. Now they had to deal with the consequences and get on with their lives.

"Ok." She gave up looking up to Charlie who grew a big smile on his face.

"Thanks. He's just a wreck. And I know he's too hardheaded to do anything.' Charlie laughed rolling his eyes.

Kate had to smile at the comment as Charlie turned away.

Turning away herself she looked down to her backpack to see a small bright pink flower sitting there. Looking around the caves were empty now that Charlie had left. She saw no sign of anyone. Looking back to the flower she knew it was from Jack. Bending down she picked it up and brought it to her nose. It smelled absolutely wonderful, but she had never seen a flower like this. With the base a dark hot pink and as the petals went on they faded into white. Holding it to her chest she smiled thinking there was always a way to forgive Jack.

That night she kept her word and stayed at the caves.

When everyone came back for the night they feasted on boar, fish, and fruits. Kate had grown used to the thought of having to eat fish, but still she would never eat boar. As she ate sitting next to Charlie Jack sat across from her sneaking looks up from hid food to her. She saw him do and she was sure some of the others did too.

After everything was cleaned up and late night set in everyone settled down for sleep. Sleeping a clear distance from Jack Kate still knew he was near. She would occasionally look over the top of her blanket and see him looking over to her. She wondered if he saw her looking at him as he watched her. He had to. He just lay there staring at her and her him. It was a weird connection that they both had where no words had to be spoken.

The next day was spent away from each other. Jack down at the beach and Kate off somewhere. She was trying to keep her distance from the beach in order to keep away from another run in with Sawyer. It was easy. She would just lose her self in the jungle for hours looking from fruits and the flower Jack gave her.

Nightfall came on the second night back at the caves. Jack was the first back to the caves around sunset. The others slowly came back with Kate being the being the last one. She had found a bunch more fruit on her walk and she had picked some from the garden her and Sun started. Handing out the fruit she quickly caught Jack's eye. The flower he had left on her backpack was now up in the back of her hair. Quickly growing a smile he looked away.

As eating commenced Kate went off by herself. Sitting over where she slept she went through her backpack pulling out all the fruit. With the fire some ways away from her, she couldn't exactly see what fruit she was picking out, but could tell by touch. Then a shadow came over her blocking her view of nearly everything. As the shadow moved closer to her she looked up to see Jack.

She watched as he walked past her. As he walked to the waterfall she looked away and back to the fruits. As soon as she turned he looked back to her becoming fascinated by the way the firelight displayed every feature of her face lighting up her eyes as they danced over the objects in her hands.

He watched as her hand slowly came up and tucked a fallen curl behind her ear. A smile soon came to his face again seeing the flower he had given her placed just right in her hair. Lowering her hand she glanced over catching his eyes with hers. Neither pulled away feeling odd just sitting here staring at each other without words or actions.

A feeling of nervousness floated around in Kate's stomach. She always felt weird after her and Jack had fought and they just had that moment where they wanted to say something to mend. Looking back down to the fruits she thought his stare would leave her, but as she looked back up he sat there with a smile just watching her.

"What?" Kate finally asked feeling awkward with his stare.

"Nothing." Jack laughed turning away not wanting to say what was on his mind.

Kate took that as the end whether or not she got the answer and turned back to what she was doing. Then she felt that feeling again.

She looked up to see his eyes on her again. They slowly looked her up and down and came to her own.

"What?" She asked again laughing at this game he was obviously playing with her.

"You're just so beautiful." He whispered as his smile dropped.

Kate's face tried to hide a bashful smile. He seemed to be trying to use this flirting thing as a way to get her to forgive him. If it was it was working. Glancing over he had left his place he had been sitting and was walking over towards her.

"Come with me." He said signaling her to follow him.

"Why?" She asked with curiosity looking up as he walked by.

Jack stopped and turned around.

"Just come on.' He laughed.

"And bring that blanket you're sitting on." He ordered as he turned.

Kate looked between him and the ground. What did he have on his mind? Did she really care? It was either stay here and mope around with the rest or take a chance trust Jack and end up having even a small bit of fun.

Looking over to Jack who stood by the fire waiting fire she was willing to take a chance. Putting the fruit back inside her backpack, Kate nearly jumped up. Setting her stuff aside she grabbed the blanket she sat on she quickly headed after Jack. With no idea or hint to what Jack had worked up in his mind she still followed. Followed in curiously and intrigue.

Following close behind Kate looked around through the darkness of the jungle as he led her down a secluded trail. Where were they going? What was he doing?

Suddenly the sound of waves filled the air around the two. There at the end of the trail they had been walking on was the ocean. It was the same spot Kate had been to a couple of times. When she tried to get Sawyer to give her the inhalers and that second day when she washed up from that gruesome trip to the cockpit were the two that stuck out in her mind. It was very secluded and peaceful. Only a few of them knew about and apparently Jack was one of them.

Walking out onto the sand Kate and Jack stopped and took in the smell of the beach. It was so beautiful at night as the moon hung over head lighting the water and the sand. It was cool with an evening breeze going off the days heat. Kate smiled as she looked up to Jack. He had a sly look about him as he turned and walked towards the water.

She stood where she was watching him as he pulled his shoes off dropping them in the sand. He walked over and stood in the surf standing there for a few seconds and then looked back to her. With it being dark she could still see that smile on his face.

"Waters warm." He smiled.

There it was. His idea was clear. He planed to go swimming. It sounded like a great idea now that Kate thought about it. Refreshing actually. It had been a hot day and the cool water sounded nice.

Walking closer to Jack he turned from the water and headed back to her. As he came close Kate held her breath for some odd reason. Looking away she felt Jack take the blanket from her hands. He walked away from her towards the surf. Laying the blanket in the sand right above where the water reached.

Turning back Kate watched as he wrapped his arms around his waist pulling his shirt over his head. Dropping it to the blanket Kate stared at his body as it glistened in the moonlight. It hit every muscle in his side showcasing them to her.

She felt bad for feeling this way over Jack, but they had both had their moments like this with each other. Was this hers or his? Or was it both?

She tired to look away, but couldn't. He stepped slowly in the water jeans and all. And just stood there. Kicking around the water here and there. The water came high up on his jeans soaking them. Then he turned around and looked back to Kate still up on the beach.

"Come on." He called.

She didn't move. To afraid of the feeling worked up inside of her.

"Come on Kate have some fun." He coaxed her.

She gave up walking as slowly as she could down to the blanket. Stopping she kicked off her shoes next to Jack's. Grabbing her shirt in her hands she looked somewhat embarrassed up to Jack, but as soon as she saw that inviting smile on his face she tried to let it go.

Taking a deep breath she pulled her shirt over her head and dropped it to the blanket with Jack's. Next were her pants and she didn't even think to look to Jack knowing the face he had. Slowly unbuttoning the top she slid them down her legs quickly stepping out of them.

As she glanced back to Jack he looked away and headed out into the water. Feeling suddenly insecure she wrapped her arms tightly around her stomach as she walked into the water.

Standing there for a minute she watched as he dove into the water. Looking down she watched as the waves crashed against her ankles as they came in. As they went back out they pulled on her body urging her to come with them and follow Jack.

She wanted to follow him, but was a little more content with standing there. Standing there watching the water interact with her body. But just standing there watching water wasn't gonna cut it with Jack.

Standing up in the water he looked back to see her still standing there barely in the water. With a huff he tried his best to jog up to her through the water. She looked up to see him racing towards her. Without a word he took her hand and nearly drug her out into the water.

Coming out to where the water was up past their elbows Jack pulled her close. She tried her best not to look in his eyes, but it was inevitable. Catching that lustful look in his eyes Kate's breath got caught in the back of her throat. A million thoughts raced through her head as she stared into his eyes trying to comprehend what he was doing. As his hands which were spread out upon her waist snuck up her back she never thought about their destination and without warning they came to her head with a swift motion plunging her into the water.

Water rushed around her body as she kicked to the surface. As air hit her lungs she opened her eyes to see Jack in near compulsive laughter.

"You think it's funny huh?" She asked as she pulled back her now wet hair that clung to her face as waded around him.

He nodded his head watching her every move.

She quickly swam up to him pushing him back in the water. It wasn't much of a push just enough to get him wet. He came back with vengeance on his mind.

"You're gonna get it." He growled with a laugh as he quickly headed after her.

Like a bullet she was off trying to keep away from him. Kicking and splashing as soon as he came close trying to make his away to her.

"No!" She yelled with a laugh as his hands came around her waist and she lost the fight

Lifting her as high as he could as she struggled he tossed her as far as he could into the water. As the ripples around the area settled he waited for her to emerge with laughter. But there was no sign of her. He looked around for her trying to see through the water.

Feeling something move past his leg he swiftly turned around thinking it was her. When he turned he was met by a hand around his leg pulling him below the water. Emerging Kate look around expecting to see him ready to come after. But she was met by the same thing he was silence.

"Jack?" She called looking around for him.

With one swift movement from the water Jack caught her unexpected in his hands ready to toss her again. Instead Kate pressed her hands to the top of his head dunking him under. Still with his hands around her waist he tried his best to pull her under.

Coming back up he took a deep breath as Kate's hands came down from his head to around his neck. Their eyes immediately locked in an intense stare. The games were over and it was time to get serious. The laugher still echoed in the air as they gazed at each other. Why had they suddenly stopped and gotten so close?

With the water rising and falling against their bodies all they heard was the licking of it against their skin and the breath of each other chilling each other to the bone.

Leaning in Kate didn't hesitate as Jack met her half way kissing her gently. Closing her eyes she wrapped her arms tighter around his neck pressing her chest to his. Feeling his heart beat lapse over hers. Oddly neither of theirs raced with the emotion of the situation. It felt right to be there in that moment and neither were scared of it.

As the kiss quickened and her grip tightened Jack's hands slowly wondered down to the crevice of her butt. Pulling up on her body she took the hint and wrapped her leg around his waist and then the other pulling him closer to her. She could feel him wanting her as he could her. This is what made their hearts beat faster.

Pulling back for a breath Jack looked into her eyes again.

"You wanna go back to the beach?" He asked as she leaned her forehead against his cheek.

Nodding her head he quickly scooped her up in his arms as best her could and headed back up to the beach.

Getting to the blanket he set her on her feet. Quickly she turned to him wrapping her arms around his neck taking him into a deep kiss. A kiss that knocked him to the ground.

Laughing at the nervousness of the situation Jack situated himself on his knees as she crawled over to him. Straddling his lap she pressed her hands to his shoulders for balance. Looking around to make sure she was ok she saw Jack's hands once again come up to rest on her waist.

She looked up into his eyes, which had change from playful to lust within minutes. Her hand came up to cup his face as she leaned in to meet his lips again. She felt strength grown within her as she pulled at his lips with hers. This is what she had wanted since the day she had met him. Not necessarily this, but something close enough. It was just him and her no boundaries or limits of the past. Just them.

His hand traveled up her back gently pushing her towards him. Bringing her to where he needed her to be. Pulling away again Jack's lips ran across the side of her face and down her neck. She closed her eyes as she enjoyed his mouth sweetly sucking on her shoulder. Nearly letting all go in the moment she rested her head against his ear trying her best to hold on to him afraid she fall if she didn't.

Slowly inching back she left butterfly kisses across his stubble as she came to his lips. With another kiss his other hand came up around her stomach. The mere touch of his hand made her stomach heave in. It was such a gentle touch and yet it had a huge effect. Coming from this kiss with a sweet noise she looked down into his eyes ready for her next words.

"I want you Jack." She whispered as her thumb traveled over his still moist lips.

A moan came from deep in his throat as her hand came to his pants hurriedly undoing the button. Sitting up on his knees he kicked them off leaving them where they lay. Resting back on his legs his hands quickly came up to the back of her bra. Unlatching it with ease. Pulling both straps down her shoulders her breasts were revealed to him for the first time and he was nearly breathless.

Jack said nothing and never broke her stare as he lowered her to the blanket.

With her hair strung out above her head she watched as Jack's hand firmly place it self to the blanket not far from her head. Looking back up to him she watched his other hand come down to hers. Grasping it in his he brought it to his chest laying it over his heart. Now it raced.

Guiding it down his stomach she felt every muscle tense up as her fingertips came over them. Overcome by this feeling she closed her eyes as she took his hand and placed it on her stomach. Slowly guiding it up her stomach brining it to rest atop her breast. She held it there as she heard his breath become jagged.

Letting go his hand it quickly came down to her side as his lips came to hers. Wrapping his finger around the strap of her underwear he lightly tugged on them making sure it was ok for him to go on. Swiftly enclosing his neck with her arms her pulled him harder into the kiss. Telling him to go ahead he pulled them over her hips and down her legs dropping them next to his pants.

She lay completely naked under his body as they kissed. No embarrassment now it was too late for that. As she quickly became aware of him sliding his boxers off there was no turning back. This was it take it or leave it.

Pulling away Jack saw the readiness in her eyes. She wanted this. They both did. Looking down to her he asked for the ok to do what he had to do. Brining her shaky hand up to his face she nodded her head.

Taking a slow breath he positioned himself above her placing his weight on his arm next to her head. Looking back up to her he locked eyes with her wanting to watch her as he did this. He was scared and she could tell. Slowly caressing his cheek with her hand she urged him on.

As gently as he could he slid himself into her never breaking eye contact.

"Jack." She gasped holding her breath in her throat.

Jack's heart skipped a beat as she did this. It caught him of guard to suddenly see her like this. To see her under him. Kate closed her eyes a tears stung them. She didn't want him to see her cry. The pain wasn't horrible, but just enough to aggravate her. And she knew if Jack saw her cry he'd stop and she didn't want him to.

Coming back he thrust into her again as slow as possible. Again came the pain of having something forced into her body, but with it came that shred of unimaginable pleasure that pulled at their bodies wanting them to let go. Trying her hardest to get rid of this weird feeling she spread her hands upon his back pulling him towards her.

Taking a breath he looked down to see this odd look in her eyes. He had seen it before, but couldn't put his finger on it, but it soon disappeared as she tilted her head up and kissed him. Kissing was just a minor detail of what they were doing. This was a dance between bodies in the moonlight. Him moving inside of her taking her breath away with every instant.

As she looked up to him as he slowly moved she could tell he was unsure of himself. He didn't want to do anything to hurt her in anyway or do something to screw it up. It wasn't anything to worry about she had no clue what she was doing. Not that they were inexperienced just that this was 'their" first time and it was always weird in that instance.

Every time he came back into her the pain disappeared. She was becoming used to him. The feeling was unimaginable as he moved inside of her. Slowly it turned into an addiction. She wanted more of him. Almost animalistic she wrapped her leg around his waist pulling in more of him. Closing her eyes with the feeling she became relaxed with his fingertips dancing over her cheek pulling away her hair from her face.

Opening them she saw him. Not just Jack, but him. She saw past those last weeks and days to the real Jack. A caged boy watching his father dangle a key in front of his face. Suddenly as he caught her eyes he became free. Free to move and to love.

As his pace quickened so did hers. Her hips came off the ground grinding into his begging for more. Pleading with his body to give her what she wanted. He wrapped his arm completely around her pressing her to his body. Their gaze never broke as they watched the reaction of the two as their bodies moved near in sync with one another. Time was lost in reality as they made love to each other. Feeding off needs and sounds of the other. It seemed only seconds had gone by, but minutes flew past them like lightening.

Soon they felt it. That point of ecstasy was pushing their bodies to go faster. Gripping a hold of him, Kate dug her hands into his back. He knew she was nearing the point and so was he. Clenching his jaw Jack thrust as fast and as hard as he could without hurting her. Sweat drip from his forehead to her chest cooling her heated skin.

Kissing her he felt her body shake telling him she was there. Both watched each other as it came to the end. Watching the way their bodies quickly changed with the impending. Holding her tight he tried to balance himself as he thrust one more time before all was lost in a whirlwind of pleasure.

"Jack!"

Her voice echoed across the water and over the island. Clinging to each other both slowed to a halt. Both were breathless as Jack lowered his head to her chest. It took all of her strength to lay her arm across his back. She didn't have the slightest clue where she was. All she felt was a tingling sensation all through her body.

Watching him go up and down with her chest the feeling slowly faded. Her breath eased its way back cascading down his body. She began to realize where she was. The sound of the water surrounded her and she came to feel the waves creeping up her feet. Lumps of sand mashed to the ground as she made herself comfortable with Jack weight on top of her.

"J-ack. That was…" She said before taking a deep breath.

"Amazing." Jack finished.

"Well that's less then I would have said, but yeah." She joked with a struggled laugh.

Nearly rolling himself off of her he came to rest next to her. Wrapping his arm around her pulled her atop his chest. Both sighed at how comfortable it was to just lay there in each other's arms. Just to be there with each other.

Both looked up staring at the sky above them. Mesmerized by the stars scattered across.

"They're so beautiful.' She remarked as her hand drew tiny circles around his chest.

Looking down to her he didn't care about any stars.

"Not as beautiful as you." He whispered.

Glancing up she caught a smile tugging at his lips.

"Don't think this means I forgive you." She smiled sitting up on her elbow.

"Never." He whispered kissing her ever so softly.

Cupping her face he tangled his fingers in her hair and as he pulled back he just stared at her.

"Thank you." He said rubbing her cheek with his thumb.

Leaning towards her he kissed her on the forehead before she settled in his arms again. Watching the clouds go by hiding the stars from them. It made her sleepy watching them. Looking up she saw Jack was asleep. Kissing her hand she brought it to his lips before resting her head to his chest. Pressing her ear to chest she listened to his heartbeat as it sung her to sleep.

_This was my first Jack and Kate sex scene and i had many doubts about it so please be genlt with your reviews. Also for "Surviving..." i'll have two new chapters up by the weekend. _


	4. Veiled Grasp

_I know it's been a while so here it is. And i will have a new chapter for my other story up by the weekend. Enjoy!_**  
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** Veiled Grasp**

Water surrounded her ankles and then quickly disappeared. The sound of the waves came closer as they touched her skin. With the sun overhead beating down upon her body she knew it was daytime. She didn't care of the heat or it being daytime she was too content and relaxed to the core to move a muscle.

She knew he lay next to her. In the back of her mind she knew it, but she didn't acknowledge it. She just lay there on her stomach with her breasts press against his side and his arm wrapped loosely around her.

"Bloody hell." Was the horse shocked words that woke her.

Opening her eyes they adjusted as she saw the shoreline cresting over Jack's chest. Closing them again she breathed in the aroma around her as Jack too began to wake up next to her. Slowly stretching out her body she felt Jack do the same. Then they both stopped at the sound of someone clearing their throat.

Kate froze and slowly looked up. There stood Charlie with his hand to his mouth containing his laugher and Hurley and his wide-eyed stare right behind him. Kate's eyes looked over to see Jack in the same position she was. Hurriedly the two scrambled to try and cover themselves with the one blanket they had. They couldn't believe they had been found like this and by Hurley and Charlie no less.

"Morning.' Jack smiled uneasily with a squint as the sun blocked his view of Charlie's smile.

Kate's face began to blush as Jack wrapped his arm around her and held her close concealing her from the two grown men acting like boys.

"Mor- Morning.' Charlie got out with a laugh.

Hurley slowly shook his head turning away.

"I hate this island." He mumbled walking back up the trail.

Charlie looked back to the two who had gotten somewhat better situated.

"Um… You guys.. I mean you two are wanted on the…the beach." Charlie finally got out trying his best to hold in his laughter.

"We'll be there in a minute." Jack smiled hoping that would be the end of it.

He was lucky. With that Charlie quickly turned around and walked after Hurley. Walking away he tried his best to keep in his laughter, but quickly let it all out as he came to Hurley's side at the beginning of the trail.

"Oh my god! Did you see that! They slept together!" Charlie voice though faint could be heard.

"I know. I know. I don't wanna talk about it." Hurley moaned as the two disappeared.

Jack quickly let go and nearly fell to the sand. Kate sat there for a second and then broke out into laughter. Jack looked over to her confused at why she thought it was funny.

"What's so funny?" He asked.

"You know we're never gonna hear the end of this. Especially with those two finding us." Kate laughed.

Jack looked back up the beach.

"Yeah…" He sighed playfully.

It was silent for a moment as the two looked off in their own directions. Then slowly they looked to each other.

"We best get ready and head to the beach." Jack suggested.

"Yeah." Kate agreed looking around for her clothes.

"Maybe if we get there we can catch this before it spreads." Jack said sounding honest.

Kate looked to him with a raised eyebrow then slowly laughed it off.

Within a half an hour the two were dressed and walking out onto the beach. They remained close as they came from the trail. They had hugged and kissed as they walked from their part of the beach, but when they knew they were close they separated enough to try and pass it off.

Before they stepped on the sand they felt the stares of everyone on the beach. Slowly as they could without standing still they walked over to Sayid who had started for them.

"Nice to see you two this afternoon." Sayid said with a snickering grin.

Jack looked down as Kate slowly walked away from him with the remark.

"Where're you going?" He asked with a hint of worry in his voice.

She stopped and looked back to him.

"I'm gonna go grab some things real quickly." She smiled before turning and walking away.

With her smile Jack quickly grew one as he pushed knowing Sayid was standing there out of his head as he watched her walk away. He just watched the way her body moved in the sunlight and her hair swayed in the wind.

"Did you two enjoy yourselves last night?' Sayid asked with a hinting smile.

Jack turned to him from watching Kate.

"What?" He asked not hearing what Sayid said.

"I asked if you enjoyed yourself last night?" He repeated.

Jack blushed with a nervous laugh as he turned away trying to hide it.

"Yeah I did matter of fact." Jack replied with the most honest answer he could give to the question.

Kate walked off down the warding off the stares and just went along. Coming over to the supply stash of the beach dwellers she squatted down looking for a hairbrush.

"Heard about you and the doc." An all too familiar voice came from behind her.

She slowly stood up taking a deep breath preparing her self to face him. Turning around she was hit hard with that grin she despised, yet secretly liked.

"How'd you know?" She asked quickly turning back to the pile.

"Word travels fast round here Freckles. Especially when Cobain and Stay Puff are spreading it." Sawyer smirked looked down over her.

She said nothing to his comment. Just tried to let it roll off her shoulders.

"Was he any good?" He asked trying his hardest not to laugh at the thought.

Kate stood up and quickly turned around.

"It's none of you business." She snapped as she walked past him.

"No need to get feisty." He warned pretending to be offended.

"Looks like you two are on the mend." He said hurrying after her.

"I guess we are what's it to you?" She asked knowing she was going to get some smart-ass remark from him.

Coming up behind her he grabbed her arm and turned her around brining her close to him.

"If I remember we kissed.' He reminded her as their stare became heatedly intense.

"If I remember you kissed me." She spat in a low almost threatening voice.

"Same difference Freckles. You kissed me back" He smirked in satisfaction knowing he was getting to her as she looked away.

She already felt guilty enough that she kissed him in the first place now she had slept with Jack.

"You don't have to choose between us." He whispered with his breath the stench of cigarettes.

She slowly looked up to him with anger in her eyes mixed with fear.

"Leave me alone." She growled on the verge of tears as she ripped from his grips.

He let his arm down as she walked away. Turning he watched her walk up the beach and Jack came down to her. Here he came to the rescue. She was hurt and upset and he had to mend her.

"Kate what's wrong?" Sawyer heard him ask.

Kate didn't say anything and walked right past him. She couldn't face him after what Sawyer said. She just passed everyone and headed up to the trail. As Jack watched her walk away he turned to Sawyer his face full of anger.

"Dammit." Sawyer muttered under his breath not really in the mood to get a lecture from the all might doctor.

Turning back Jack had quickly snuck up on him. He tried to keep away from eye contact, but it was impossible when Jack was invading his close breathing space.

"What's you say to her?" He asked trying his best to keep from being loud.

Sawyer groaned at the already hate conversation.

"I didn't say anything to her." Sawyer smiled sarcastically.

"Don't lie to me! What did you say-"

"I'm not the one lying Jack." Sawyer said with compete seriousness as he hinted to Kate with a devious look up the beach.

Jack stood there staring him in the eyes trying to figure what he meant by that. Was he talking about Kate or just trying to be an asshole? Neither would have surprised him. Slowly keeping Jack's stare as long as possible, Sawyer turned and walked away heading from his tent leaving Jack to stand there and think about what he said.

It took Kate an hour or more to get to the caves. When she got there, there was another fresh batch of faces to watch her every move. Charlie and Hurley sat off staring and whispering as she walked in. She heard their snickering, but tried to let it go as she did on the beach. But now she was a little more on the edge.

She held her head low and walked with guilt. Guilt of Sawyer's words. The words that reminded her of the kiss they shared three days before. The words that sank to her soul and chilled her bones. They latched on and pulled her to the ground.

Walking over to her stuff she sat down and placed her head in her hands. She wanted to badly to cry, but she already had enough scandal on her hands. Sulking in her place she tried to tell herself to get over it. Convincing herself enough she pulled herself up and walked over to one of the caves looking for the hairbrush she never found.

Finding one she could use she came over to the mirror Jack had set up. Kate took a deep breath as she looked into it. It seemed so hard to look at herself in the mirror. To stare into her own eyes. Eyes filled with trouble and guilt. Her eyes shifted from herself to Jack as he walked into the caves. Looking around he came to see her and locked eyes with her.

Looking away she took the brush and became to comb it through her unruly hair. She shuttered as she felt him come up behind her. Closing her eyes she tried to keep calm as his hand came up to her side.

"You ok?" He asked with that sense of worry.

Kate swallowed hard as she nodded her head. Thinking it was the end of the conversation she went back to brushing her hair. Still he stood close watching her through the mirror.

"Just forget about him." He said.

Slowly almost sly he looked around seeing everyone had lost interest in them and were now to their own lives. Without warning he pulled her closer.

"When he starts to annoy you just think to last night." He whispered in her ear as she finally looked over to him in the mirror.

Closing her eyes as his breath flowed down her neck she got sick to her stomach. Thoughts of last night didn't help her it just aggravated the situation more. His hold on her was now a death grip and his gentle words of comfort were pressure points to destruction.

"Jack not now." She said near tears as she pulled away and pushed him back.

He stood there watching her walk off on the trail. He was confused about what had gotten into her. All he was trying to do was help her forget about Sawyer and that was just the problem. Sawyer. He must have said something to make her this upset.

Hours later Kate came in with the darkness. Her body hung and stumbled with exhaustion. Jack stopped what he was doing and watched her walk in and sit down. He dared not follow her earlier, but how he wished he would've. Something was eating at her and he wanted to help her. He wanted to get up walk over and ask what was wrong, but he couldn't. She had pushed him away twice and a third strike he was out.

It was odd he thought. Sitting there he thought back to the nigh before. She was so passionate and full of life. Now she sat before him depressed and deathly. It5 was weird how one word or event could change a person's personality in a day. He ached inside to not go to her, but he couldn't. She had to come to him.

Kate sat there in the same place and same position she had been when she walked in. Now everyone was asleep even Jack and now she watched them sleep. He mind was not on them, but Sawyer.

"_You kissed me back."_

She closed her eyes feeling so wrong. Feeling guilty about kissing Sawyer and having sex with Jack, but more so of Sawyer. Why did she feel worse about Sawyer? Was it because she had more feeling for Jack? She honestly didn't know why she felt this way. It was just a kiss. No it was more. It was a kiss she shared with Sawyer.

Shaking the feeling as best she could she realized she couldn't deal with these feelings alone, but she couldn't go to her confidant. Looking around she contemplated whether or not to go along with the thought. Glancing over she saw Jack sleeping no more then five feet from her. She began to feel guilty again. She never wanted to hurt him, but it might be too late. Too late if she didn't get up and head to the beach.

With newfound strength from seeing Jack she got up. Being as quiet as she could she walked to the trail. Her feeling fought inside of her pulling in this way in that. Without looking back Kate headed to the beach.

Her stomach ached with nervousness as her feet hit that sand. Shuffling her feet in the sand she passed the tents with sleeping people as the fires dimmed. Coming down to the shore she looked up to the moon remembering watching it the night before. Last night was so peaceful to her. Now even with the claming sounds of the gentle waves she couldn't bring herself to feel that way. The way she felt being held so close with Jack.

A single tear trickled down her cheek as she the night before played over in her mind. Then she replayed the kiss with Sawyer. Lowering her head at the thought she fought herself over the real reason she was out there and not back at the caves sleeping with Jack.

Looking back over her shoulder up the beach she saw his tent. The small fire inside displayed his lazy shadow as he sat there reading his book. Pushing herself she pulled away from the water and trudged up the sand towards his tent. To see her she looked as if walking to her execution.

Standing outside his tent she stood there staring through the small opening. Watching his sit there unaware of her. She stood there mentally trying to push herself. And with a deep breath she extended her shaky hand. Grasping the tarp she pulled it back.

"Sawyer I need to talk to you." She whispered walking in.


	5. Choosing

_Here you guys go. It's short, but you'll love it. Conflict the essence of drama. Some of you might down right hate it, but hopefully all of you will enjoy it and there is more to come! ; )_**  
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** Choosing**

"Freckles." He smiled looking up from his book.

"To what do I owe this honor? So late in the night I might add…" He asked putting down the book.

Sighing she walked into the tent. She couldn't even look at him. It was hard to look at anyone anymore.

"I need to talk to you about something." She nearly whispered.

"Oh…I see you now you wanna talk." He said looking away with a sly smile.

Kate rolled her eyes trying not to be fueled by his remark.

"I came here to tell you I'm sorry about earlier." She said.

"What your conscience eating away at you again? So you thought it only best to come and apologize." He threw in her face.

She was about tired of his sassy remarks and comments. She was coming in here to be honest and all he could do was make a joke out of it.

"Look Sawyer! I came here to make things right behind us and all you can do is be an ass!" She yelled making the whole camp aware of their conversation.

"Good night Sawyer!" She finished before turning and heading out.

That had gotten her nowhere. Like usual.

Before she could make it to the tarp his hand was around her arm and she was spun around to face him faster then she could realize. She was so close to him she could tell he had been drinking and smoking.

"Let go of me!" She growled in his face.

"You said you wanted talk let's talk." He smiled evilly as his eyes got wide.

She struggled against him under his anger filled stare. His eyes looked like globes of fire trying to burn through her. She swallowed hard trying to hold in her tears.

"You feel guilty about kissing me then sleeping with dear ole' Jack. Right?' He questioned.

She said nothing, but kept his stare.

"Right?" He asked again pulling her closer and making his grip tighter.

"Yes! Yes! Is that what you want to hear?" She asked pulling away in guilt.

Sawyer backed off, but stood close.

"Yeah I did. " He breathed.

"But, I don't know why you need to be feeling so guilty after what I said." He sighed.

Kate looked over to him with narrow eyes.

"And what was that exactly?" She questioned.

"I said you don't have to choose between me and the doc." He reminded her.

She stared at him with a look of "unbelievable" written all over her body.

"I'm willing to share." He smiled slowly walking over to her.

Keeping her guard up she watched attentively as he came as close as he could without knocking her down. She looked up as he stared down. Looking deep into his eyes seeing that snickering little boy ready to pull something.

"So why don't you?" He asked in a low raspy voice that made him sound like he had smoked 20 cigarettes at once.

A voice that sent chills down her spine to her feet almost knocking her to the ground. She could barely hold her own being so close to him. She couldn't help but look away.

As she glanced up she seemed to be checking to see if he was still there. And he was. Still standing over her with that smirk and gaze that pierced her heart. Her heart that was racing a mile per minute. She had never felt this way. Of course she had been flustered a couple of times, but not in this sense.

She opened her mouth to speak but came up mute. Only a sharp exhale upon his neck.

"Go ahead share. You know you want to Freckles." Sawyer whispered.

Kate hesitated as she came closer. He was right she wanted to. She wanted to have that feeling again like that day in the forest.

Slowly she looked up to him peering down at her. His eyes had changed. They did have a look full of games. Now they had a look of seriousness. Closing her own she sucked in a deep forced breath. Opening them they met his before she looked down to his lips readying herself. There wasn't much more she could do, but do it. And she did.

Taking his lips she kissed him and he kissed her. Before they could catch themselves or their breath they were in each other's arms. Her hands wrapped around his neck and his clutching at her waist. He barely let her pull back for a breath before he pulled her into him. He seemed to need her more then she needed him.

Their mouths still together they managed to walk or stumble rather over to his bed. Bending one of his legs back to rest on the bed he slipped his tongue into her mouth to keep her mind while his hand moved to her shirt. Placing his hand easily onto her bare stomach she flinched back.

"Sawyer wait." She nearly moaned pulling away from his lips.

He sat there looking up at her standing in surprise.

"Wait what?" He asked offended and out of breath.

"I shouldn't do thi-"

He didn't say anything. He leaned over took her hand in his. Slowly pulling her towards him. He saw that want in her eyes, but there was fear in her body. She obliged by walking over to him, but she stopped at the edged of the bed. She wasn't supposed to go any further. She wanted to, but she wasn't supposed to.

He saw this. He knew she wanted to, but couldn't. He had never had so much trouble with a woman, but then again this wasn't just a woman this was Kate. Kate had her intrigues and misconceptions, but under all that thick skin was just a girl who wanted to be loved.

Gently tugging on her hand he got her to kneel next to him. That was good enough for him at the moment. Sitting up closer to her he leaned into the crook of her neck. Pausing a mere inch for her skin he stayed there just aggravating her and then slowly he moved to her ear.

"Don't be afraid Freckles. I know you want this." He whispered in that raspy voice as he moved in to his nip at her earlobe.

She closed her eyes slowly as he did it again. She cursed him under her breath for doing this to her. Dammit he had his lips up on her neck sucking sweetly at the tender skin. She had no choice, but to give in. Give into her self and Sawyer.

Slowly she pulled back looking down at him. There were no words for how she felt about him at that moment. She watched as his hands came up to her shirt. There was no opposition as he pulled it up over her head. Dropping it to the ground he again took her hands in his and put them to his shirt. She got the hint.

With shaky hands she began to unbutton his shirt. As she ran into problems with nervousness he took over by simply pulling it over his head and letting it fall to the ground. Turning back he was struck with surprise as she was unbuttoning her pants. He sat perfectly still watching her with excitement as she slid them down over her legs and kicked them off.

He saw her swallow hard as she turned back on her knees. Still sitting where he did he didn't move or make a noise as she slowly straddled his lap. He didn't wanna scare her when at the moment he was on the verge of the emotion. Sitting up to bring his body closer to hers he kissed her. Wrapping his arms around her body he didn't pull her close, just inched up to the back of her bra.

Becoming an expert at this he took it off within seconds. Sliding it over her chest he let it fall between them as she stared down at her bare chest. She looked to be amazed at her own body when in fact she was amazed that she had let it go this far.

Looking up her hair fell to her chest. Sawyer wanted to look up to her, but was too caught by her breasts. He had always been a breast man. Extending his hand he brushed away her hair and it fell against her arm. Leaning in he brought his mouth to her chest. As he kissed her, her head fell slightly back and to the side.

"Sawyer." She moaned as his stubble lightly grazed her skin.

Staying there for only a moment he worked his way up to her neck and to her lips again. Taking them with a sweet whimper from deep in her throat. As he kissed her he slowly pressed his chest to hers feeling the heat between their bodies.

"Kate." He groaned kissing her again.

Kate. He rarely called her by her name. It was always Freckles or some other smart-ass nickname. Why did her call her Kate? She always expected if they did have sex he'd stick to the cute nicknames. But she had never really thought of it in depth. Why was she now? Was it to divert thinking about what was going on? She couldn't divert it forever no matter how hard she tried. Sooner or later she had to realize she was having sex with Sawyer.


	6. Repercussions

_Hope you all enjoy this more then the last chapter. This one i worked real hard on...Enjoy!_**  
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**  
Repercussions**

"Kate." His voice echoed long into the night.

She had completely forgotten where she was in the heat of everything. Her mind and body was lost.

"Kate." He called again in a surprising lighter tone.

With her name called again she was called to awareness.

She felt a breeze wisp across her naked back. The sudden sound of people and the waves washing up on shore filled her ears. Darkness turned to light in front of her closed lids. Moving around feeling the heat of a body next to her she realized it was morning.

"Kate."

She opened her eyes. Focusing she came to see she was in Sawyer's tent. In Sawyer's bed lying next to…Sawyer. She saw his back pressed up against hers as it heaved with each breath.

Sitting up she soon discovered she was completely naked. Her bare chest heaved with a quivering breath as she became panicky. Had she done it? Had she actually done it? Looking over to Sawyer laying there in the same state as herself, she got her answer. She had slept with Sawyer.

"Kate."

She was called to quick attention again by her name. She thought in sleep it was Sawyer calling her when in fact it was Jack.

He was out on the beach obviously looking for her.

Panicked she jolted off the makeshift bed. Gathering her clothes from the sandy ground she got dressed as quickly as she could. Pulling her shirt over her head and then slipping on her pants she looked over every few seconds hoping Sawyer didn't wake up. If she happened to get caught she could work her way out of it, but if Sawyer came out this morning would start with a fight.

Swiftly tying her hair back she gave one glance back to Sawyer before heading out of his tent. Her attention caught she didn't see Jack as she bumped into him mere feet from the entrance of Sawyer's tent.

"Whoa!' He called out catching her in his arms.

Her heart sank. Was she safe or screwed?

"Kate." He said as she looked up to him with guilt written all over her.

"Oh. Jack." She smiled meekly trying to cook up some lie.

Jack looked past her to Sawyer's tent. The look he gave her seemed to one tell her he was putting together the pieces.

"What are you doing out here so early and in Sawyer's tent no less?" Jack asked with a chuckle.

Kate looked awkwardly back to Sawyers tent. Images of them together only hours before flooded her mind.

"Uh… I came out here to clear things up between us." Kate explained with nervous laugh.

"Well I hoped it worked you've seemed a little down lately…" He slowly stopped seeing her concentrated stare with the waves.

She always had something on her mind when she stared liked that.

"Kate are you ok?" Jack asked raising his hand to cup her cheek.

Kate pulled away in punishment to herself. She didn't deserve his touch anymore. Not after what she did.

Jack pulled back to her reaction.

"I'm fine. I jus..t have to go back to the caves." She stuttered as she turned away.

Jack stood there watching her walk up the beach. He was confused. She was acting so odd lately. It was starting to worry him.

He waited a couple minutes and followed her back to the caves. Not to be nosey, just to make sure she was alright. He was afraid she was repressing some past memory or feeling. It was just really odd to him that she fell into this spell after they slept together.

That night they slept apart, but close enough. Close enough that Jack could've sworn he heard her crying in her sleep. He stayed up half the night just watching her sleep longing for to lie next to her. Whatever she was going through he wanted to wrap her in his arms and tell her it was all right, but he knew he couldn't just get her to ease up so easily. It was never easy and sometimes wasn't pretty trying to get her to open up.

Kate got up with the sun. She had had a restless sleep knowing the man she adored dearly and the man she cheated on the night before slept only a few feet from her no doubt watching her sleep. It ached her to know what she had done. To know that sooner or later with Sawyer's ego and mouth this man would know what she did.

Packing some needed stuff; she headed out for a walk. A walk to clear he conscience and mind of the torment she was brining upon herself. Some of the others were awake in the caves. Charlie sitting in his desolate corner strumming his guitar, Locke quickly came in gathering his knives and headed out with Boone for a new hunt, and Hurley the only other person awake sat trying his hardest to gut a fish.

She looked around at all of them seeing them go about their lives. A slight smile came to her lips knowing, well hoping in her head that none of them had a past that she ran from like hers or present for that matter. Then she looked down to Jack.

Dear sweet Jack. The true man among these savages. The man that was causing her these feelings. Her smile faded looking down upon him. She needed to get out of there. Without a thought she turned away and headed out of the suffocating caves.

About an hour had passed by and she was a mile or so from the caves and even further from the beach. She trotted along the dim path scraping her boots along the dirt and weeds in the ground. She was in absolute thought. Thought about what she had done and how she could get herself out of it. There were no conclusions, but Jack yelling at her and never speaking to her again.

"What are you doing so far by yourself?" He asked.

She had been so deep in her own thoughts that she didn't hear him following her for the last half an hour. She barely heard his words.

"Oh so now you're too good to even talk to me." He chuckled in sarcasm.

She stopped and turned around.

"Sorry I was thinking too loud." She joked turning around to face him with a smile concealing her guilt.

"Thinking too loud about what?" He had to ask as he soon joined her in walking.

He didn't wanna push her into opening up. She had to do it on her own. But this was a way to push her along.

"About the island. All the stuff we've been through." She said in unconscious walk along side him.

"Oh…"He replied thinking this might be the reason why she was so out of it. But still it seemed too easy.

Kate wasn't really bothered by him being there with her. It was a relief. It was weird too. An hour or so earlier she could stand to look at him without feeling overtaken by her own regret.

They walked in silence for a long while. Both thinking to themselves about their own matters. Both questioning why they other had traveled so far out here.

"So why's you follow me out here?" Kate finally spoke up.

Jack looked at her with an odd look.

"Well cause I miss spending alone time with you and I thought what better way then to follow you out here on one of your thought filled walks." He explained.

Kate realized at that moment that he either was covering up that he knew something was going on. Or he truly wanted to spend time with her. Neither would have surprised her.

"So you came out her to spend time with me?" She questioned trying to overt any possible badgering if in fact he did know what was going on.

"Yes I did. I mean I haven't really even had a conversation with or spoke more then two sentences to you since that night. " He said in a slight wining tone.

She knew he was going somewhere.

"Well Jack I've been busy." She said confronting him face to face as she stopped.

This was harder then he thought it would be. She really didn't wanna tell him what was wrong. But he had an idea.

Quickly he caught up to her and grasped her arm turning her to him. She looked up to him with question meeting his eager face.

"Hey. Why don't we do it again?" He suggested.

"Do what again?" She questioned.

"The beach. Me. You. Alone under the stars." He said with an excited smile.

"Jack I don't kn-"

"Come on Kate." He begged now holding onto her hand.

She thought about it. Would this get her into more trouble? Or could it ease over the wounds? There was only one way to know.

"Ok." Kate sighed.

Jack's smile grew bigger as he came in close dropping her hand between them. His sent was too much for her.

"You see alone time is always good." He smiled kissing her gently on the forehead.

She was sick to her stomach at the thought of alone time with Jack, but through the sickness she smile eagerly telling him she was all right.

The two finished the walk back to the caves. They stayed apart for the rest of the night doing chores and helping out. Kate felt sick the whole time knowing what that night would bring. Constant looks over to Jack didn't help.

As the sun dropped and the moon came up they put some stuff together and readied for their "alone time" on the beach. This time they got two blanket incase some unwelcome visitors made appearances. Ready Jack told Locke to hold down fort. Wrapping his arm discretely around Kate who felt like falling to the ground they headed out to that lovely spot on the beach.

They set up a small fire and laid out their blankets. Now they sat watching the waves under the stars like Jack had said. Kate sat tensely in his lap so close to him she was barely able to stand it. She still didn't know why she had agreed to this.

"You're quiet." He whispered pushing her hair from shoulder.

"Well it's just so peaceful I hate to ruin the moment with talk." Kate lied knowing exactly why she was so quiet.

She quickly tensed up as his hand crept up her back. His fingers slowly walked up her spine. She didn't know if he was trying to arouse her or comfort her. Soon it was up on shoulder. Digging his thumb into the base of her neck. It felt so good, but so wrong. Rolling her neck to her side images of Sawyer flashed in front of her eyes. She shouldn't be enjoying this.

Jack slowly shifted under her moving his thumb down her spine. Suddenly his lips brushed against her neck.

"_Oh god.'_ She thought to herself.

"You so tense Kate." He whispered in that doctor tone of his.

Of course she was tense. She was bottling up everything.

"Well this place ain't the most stress free place in the world." Kate sighed trying to ease up.

"Sure ain't.' Jack laughed kissing her neck again.

He had to feel her muscles tighten up. His lips were playing over her skin so close he could probably feel her blood boiling. Slowly his hand snuck up her leg and to her stomach resting there before burrowing it ways under her shirt that was drenched in sweat. His fingers again played over her skin irritating her sense. She wanted nothing more to give in and have sex with him, but she couldn't.

"Jack I can't do this." Kate cried as she stood up.

"Why not?" Jack questioned looking up at her.

"I just can't all right?" She explained.

Jack sighed in aggravation. He lowered his head. He had had enough of the games and the sweet-talking. They were getting him nowhere. He had to cut to the chase.

"What's wrong with you Kate?" Jack asked.

"Nothing." Kate said shaking her head.

Jack shook his head in thought. He couldn't believe she was acting like this. She wouldn't even talk to him. He started to think back to all that happened since they slept together that night and he ended up with Sawyer. She had started acting like this since Sawyer had come up to her that day. Sawyer seemed to be the cause. Then he remembered what Sawyer had said to him.

"_I'm not the one lying."_

Slowly he realized that he had to be talking about Kate. Was Kate lying to him about something? It seemed to be true, but what was she lying about? There only seemed to be one logical reason.

He looked up from his thought to see her standing in the surf looking out to the stars. He almost felt bad opening his mouth, but he had to know.

"Is there something going on between you and Sawyer?" He asked with a sour feeling in the oit of his stomach.

Kate swallowed hard. He knew. He actually knew. All this time probably. She had two options in the moment. Either tell him the truth and beg for forgiveness or take the low road and deny it. She took the low road.

"What? How could you even think that?" She questioned as she turned around.

"Well seeing how you've been depressed since Sawyer said something to you the day after we slept together, you were gone all night two nights ago, and when I did find you you were rushing out of Sawyer's tent. Plus not to mention that time you avoided me by slipping into his tent." Jack explained his reasoning.

Kate was almost certain she couldn't escape this, but now she had plunged in headfirst she had to swim for it.

"Oh so that means there something between us?" Kate questioned hoping he bought her rage.

"No, but you're sure acting like guilty Kate." Jack said.

She was guilty. She had to get out of this before she fell apart.

"I can't believe you Jack. I can't believe you think I would go behind your back." Kate cried as she picked up her stuff and started for the trail back to the caves.

"Kate look-"

"No Jack I'm tired of looking." Kate said repeating herself from earlier.

She said nothing else and didn't look back at him as she headed up to the trail. As she was certain he couldn't see he she began to run. She ran away. Away from Jack. Away from her problems. Away from the world.

Jack stayed on the beach. No strength from his unneeded guilt from what he just did. He lay there in the warmth of sand staring into the fire. He didn't sleep only sulked.

Sawyer made his way early in the morning out into jungle to relieve himself. He hadn't remembered much from the day before. He had been in a daze most of the day from the night before that. But he did realize that Kate had left him early in the morning and it left a snickering thought in his mind. She most likely felt guilty or wrong about what she did.

Standing behind a tree it felt good to let it out. He had had to go all night, but frankly he was lazy. Zipping up his pants he came to notice a small whimpering cry behind him. Looking over his shoulder he saw Kate huddled up against a tree crying.

He swore he was seeing things. Walking up he rubbed his eyes making sure he wasn't in fact hallucinating. Focusing his eyes he still saw her. He got closer and obviously made himself known.

Her head jolted up. He was taken back by her tear stung eyes and red face. He hated seeing her like this and didn't know what to say. Feeling awkward he did the first thing that came to his mind.

"Freckles. I was wondering where you wondered off to yesterday." He smiled hoping to change her from sad to pissed off.

Anything was better then her being sad even if it meant pissing her off.

"Leave me alone." She warned getting up

Grabbing her stuff she headed off to the caves or any other place then that. She wasn't in the mood for anyone let alone him. Still with the warning he followed her.

"Guess I was your first one night stand." He stated with an amuse filled chuckle.

Kate quickly turned around and without warning slapped him hard across the face. As quickly as she slapped him he grabbed her hand and brought his own to his stinging face.

"What in the hell is your problem?" He yelled trying to hold his anger in.

"It's none of you business." She growled as she pulled her hand back with all her might. It felt good to hit him and let something out.

She turned with a hate filled stare and continued on knowing he was following her.

"Is it Jack?" He asked trying to hurry behind her.

"No.' She answered walking faster.

With her answer he realized what it was.

"You're feeling guilty about what we did the other night aren't you?" He asked stopping.

Kate stopped with his words. He was right. He was always right and that scared to the point of tears.

"Oh so it is my business isn't it?" He asked slowly walking up to her.

She lowered her head in tears. She couldn't take it anymore. She had to face it. She had done something wrong. This felt worse to her then killing or running or even robbing that bank. This tore her up inside.

"You're fighting yourself inside cause of how you feel towards me and the doc aren't you?" He asked turning her around to him

When he turned around he grew ill. She looked up to him in desperation choking back tears of guilt. She wanted so bad to tell Jack, but she didn't want to hurt him. She also wanted badly to curl up in Sawyer's arms. She knew he wouldn't comfort her, but his arms gave her that feeling. That almost real feeling she had when she lay in Jack's arms. And so she did.

"Hey. It's ok." Sawyer assured her in a soft voice unrecognizable to her.

It didn't matter to her how her talked. She just wanted him to take her away.

"You wanna talk about it?" He asked tilting her head up.

She nodded her head.

"Ok. Come on." He said leading her in his arms like Jack did.

Coming into the caves Jack looked around for Kate. He looked in each cave and over where she slept. She was nowhere. He was worried now. After how he treated her he deserved the feeling. Turning around after putting his stuff away he saw Charlie walk in.

"Have you seen Kate?" He asked.

"No thought she was with you." Charlie answered.

"She was…" Jack slowly went off as he thought to himself.

Why had all this started?

**Sawyer**

Without saying anything he jolted off out of the caves and headed to the beach. Heading to Sawyer's tent seeking out Kate.

Kate sat in front of Sawyer trying her best to look away. She wiped away her tears, but they soon came back remembering the last time she was there.

"Kate look at me." He called turning her face to him.

"You shouldn't feel this shity cause of him." He said hoping to make her feel better.

"But I do Sawyer." She cried.

"Don't." He seemed to warn in one simple word.

She closed her eyes taking a deep breath. She felt somewhat calm until she felt his lips next to her ear like that night.

"Don't let him get you down Freckles." He whispered in the dark tone.

Shivers went down her spine as she dared herself not to look at him, but she couldn't help it. Opening them she saw him again. Like she did that night before. A feeling of want came over her. A want to be taken. Taken away from everything.

Slowly she did what her body wanted and her heart protested against. Leaning in she kissed him. Soft and slowly taking in the feeling of letting go. As she kissed him tears trickled down her cheeks.

Jack walked out on the beach catching the attention of some others along with Sayid and Shannon who knew what was going on. They had from the night they heard Kate moaning Sawyer's name in the night. They also saw them just walk into his tent together. They knew it wasn't good. All was about to burst.

"What do you think is going to happen?" Shannon asked never turning her eyes from Jack walking furiously towards Sawyer's tent.

"I don't know." Sayid answered simply.

Jack walked quickly with a heavy foot. Storm clouds gathering overhead seemed to be an omen of what was about to happen. Standing at the entrance Jack took a deep breath as he grabbed the tarp and pulled it back. What he saw ripped him apart.

"Kate?" He questioned in quivering voice.

Kate's heart stopped as she pulled away from Sawyer. Was she imaging it? By the look on Sawyer's face as he turned away she wasn't.

"Hello Jack." Sawyer greeted him in a low sulk.

She closed her eyes as she became alarmingly nervous. Slowly she turned around to face what she prayed would happen.

"How could you?' Jack asked with a face that broke her heart.

"Jack this isn't what you think." She tried to explained buttoning her shirt back up.

His face turned from shock to anger.

"Oh I'm not seeing you with your clothes off making out with Sawyer?" He asked.

"Jack…" She winded getting up.

Without a word he turned around and stormed out. This about to go public.

"Jack!' She called rushing after him.

Walking out onto the beach rain suddenly began to pour down. Kate looked up at the coincidence in weather. Jack continued walking, but slowly stopped telling himself to face this.

She quickly became aware of the people around them whispering about the ordeal, but she soon looked back to Jack who stood unmoving in the pouring rain.

"How could you d this to me Kate?" He questioned trying to keep his distance.

She said nothing and that just made him madder.

"Did you sleep with him?" He asked causing a slow commotion among those on the beach as Sawyer came up behind her.

Kate looked up through her tears that had mixed with the rain.

"Yes." She answered in utter shame as the crowd around them erupted.

Jack turned in anger.

"And you make me out as the bad guy?" He questioned more to himself.

"But Jack I nev-"

"No Kate."

"Jack please." She pleaded.

"No more lies. No more forgiveness."

"I'm so sorry." She begged falling to her knees.

"No more." He ended as he turned and walked through the people towards the trail to caves.

"Jack I'm sorry." She cried as she officially broke down.

He didn't hear her. He was long gone and frankly didn't care. He left her in the scrutiny of the crowd as she nearly lay in the sand sobbing as ran beat down on her back. Feeling uncomfortable Sawyer turned without a look, but full of remorse and walked into his tent to shroud himself yet again.

Kate sat there in the sand crying and pleading with God to let it be over. The crowd turned away as Sawyer and Jack had done going back to their lives. Leaving her in a wallow of pity of the repercussions from what she started.


	7. After and Yet Again

_I know it's been a while, but here you go. Hope you enjoy. I finally finsihed the lay out on how i'm going to write this. It's about to get interesting. Enjoy!_**  
**

** After and Yet Again**

Storms subsided, but the fighting didn't. Kate followed him and tried her best to get him to listen, but he wouldn't have it. He sent her away. Away to the beach and that was where she went.

That night she sat on the beach. She made a small camp for herself with a cozy fire and her blanket laid out. Her body was so drug down she sunk it into the sand. She just sat there staring into the fire aimlessly. All she saw was Jack. His smile, his laugh, just him. Soon she couldn't take it. Lowering her head tears fell off her face to the sand. With the people on the beach in hiding she still knew someone watched her. She could feel their eyes on her back.

He watched her. Standing outside his tent he watched her and felt sorry for what he had done. He honestly felt bad about seeing her like this. It felt worse then when Jack had done something cause he had cause this. God how he hated this feeling. Taking along drag of his cigarette he threw it to the ground. He pushed the thought to the back of his mind like he always did. Still he felt remorse as he took one more look of her before going inside.

The next day came with aggravation. The heat of the sun beat down on her face. She didn't wanna move. She just wanted to lie there and let the sun slowly dry her up. Then she'd turn into sand and float away into the ocean. That was her only way off that island sadly. To become sand what people walked on there.

With hesitation she got up. She didn't do much because frantically no one wanted to be around her. So she sat there for the first time and did nothing. She just stared into the ocean wanting nothing more then to turn back time, but that was impossible even for where they were.

She got up once to walk around and stretch, but she came right back. Sitting down in front of the water watching the waves come up and go back out. Was this what had become of her? Looking around everyone gave her looks. Looks of anger. Turning away she felt low. Lower then she had ever been.

Three days went by and she hadn't said a word to Jack. She hadn't even seen him. It had bothered her. It bothered her that three days before he was her world and her of him. Now they or her tried his best to avoid her.

Life slowly became common on the beach. It was so much more relaxed and quieter on the beach. It wasn't the center for victims of horrible accidents or sickness. It was just relaxing. Still it wasn't for her. Not without Jack. She couldn't relax without being with him or at least near him. She had to see him.

Walking down the trail to the caves she felt nervous. Her heart raced along with her mind.

What was going to happen?

Would he say anything to her?

She really didn't care she just wanted to see him. Yet she didn't expect what she got.

Walking in the stares were worse then what they were on the beach. Their eyes tortured her as she walked over to the waterfall.

Turning away from them she casually looked around for Jack. He wasn't there. So she went along with her plan and walked over to the water.

Pulling out her water bottles she dunked them into the water. As they filled up she heard his voice.

"There's some about not even half a mile south." He said.

She turned around seeing him talking to one of the survivors. He didn't look miserable like she probably did. He looked good. So good she couldn't keep her eyes off of him. She just wanted him to walk over and everything would be ok, but it wouldn't work that way.

Everyone seemed to take notice that they were within ten feet of each other and nothing was being said or yelled for that matter. Kate didn't pay attention to them and neither did Jack. God how she wanted to say something to him, but she didn't have the guts. Still she had an idea to at least get him to notice her.

Filling up the last of the water bottle she got up and headed towards him. The closer she got the more nervous she became. Slowly she walked past him and then looked back. He didn't see her. He looked away to Charlie who obviously was paying attention to her rather then Jack.

This tore her up. He didn't see her. Not even a glance. He was so angry with her that he couldn't look at her. Tears came to her eyes, but she held them back not wanting to create a scene, but Charlie could tell she was ready to cry. And it made him sad. Turning around she couldn't face him anymore. As fast as she could without running she went back to the beach.

She lay there under the star she once treasured crying to herself. Wrapped up in a blanket she held her arms tight to her chest holding her heart from falling out. She was in pain. Her heart ached. Looking up to the stars she sobbed. She remembered what Jack had said to her.

"_Not as beautiful as you." _

Slowly she cried herself to sleep replaying all that had happened over and over in her mind. She had screwed up and there was no way out of it.

Sayid and Shannon heard her cry that night. They heard her calling out for Jack and begging for a second chance. It broke their hearts to see her like this. They wanted to do something to cheer her up. Maybe talk to her and let her know that not everyone was against her.

Waking up wasn't something Kate wanted to do. She wanted more then ever to become sand. But after and hour or so she forced herself to get up and at least look somewhat alive.

She looked over seeing Sayid and Shannon heading her way. She closed her eyes really not in the mood to deal with anyone any more. But still her unenthused state didn't stop them.

Shannon slowly sat kneeled down next to Kate as Sayid stood behind her. Kate didn't up.

"Are you ok?" Shannon asked.

Kate couldn't believe she even cared.

"I'm fine why?' Kate turned lying to herself and them.

She looked up to Sayid and then back down to Shannon who continued her stare.

'Well because of what you – I mean what happened between you and Jack." Shannon replied.

"And why do you care?" Kate snapped causing a snobby look from Shannon. She went to say something back, but was stopped by Sayid pulling her up and coming down in her place.

"Look Kate, we're worried about you. We think you should go talk to hi-"

"Don't you think I've tired?" Kate wined feeling that all too familiar feeling in her stomach.

'Yes, but if you show him that you're willing to not give up maybe he'll listen and you can work it out." Sayid suggested.

The thought of working it out sounded so good to Kate, but it came with an all too unwanted fight. A fight that would most likely lead her to the same place she was in now. Solitude.

Her eyes began to water at the thought a place worse then this. Could there be one?

"Take my advice Kate." Sayid seemed to order more then suggest.

Kate sat there not really taking what he said to heart. She just looked forward and went off into her own little world. As the situation became awkward Sayid stood and turned to Shannon. He whispered something to her and got a small attitude. Soon he came behind her and she kneeled down next to Kate with a sigh.

"You guys will work it out.' Shannon smiled sarcastically before standing up and walked away with Sayid.

They left her sitting there with a decision in her head. She knew she could probably sit there all day and think about it. It's be a long time before she'd see him again and she'd just worry about it then.

Within minutes her whole plan changed. She looked back to see Jack coming out on the beach. The emotions quickly became caught up in her body. A decision had to be made. Go and talk or stay and sulk.

He walked down the beach glancing her way She thought he saw her, but her looked right past her smiling at someone else. That smile. That smile was all she needed to make her decision.

Slowly she got up. As she began to walk her legs became shaky, as she got closer. She kept her eyes on him watching. Watching the way his lips moved, the way his eyes danced when he talked. God she was going to explode over all the feelings she had for him. Slowly he looked up to her.

She froze. Suddenly she couldn't walk. His eyes upon her felt cold. There was no happiness in them anymore. Only anger.

Standing there keeping his daze her heart raced and her body shook. Then slowly he looked away. Back to who he was talking to. As the conversation ended he glanced back up to her and then turned away. Telling her that apologizing wasn't going to happen that day. Instead she would stand in place watching him walk away again.

Weeks went by and Kate distanced herself further. She didn't wanna talk to anyone, she didn't wanna wake each morning, wait knowing he'd come out there and not even look at her. She was tired of looking out and seeing the same ocean. She hated that island and everything about it. She wanted now more then ever to get off that island.

She lay there at night and sat there in the day wishing she had never got on that plane. Wanting to be in that cold cell awaiting execution. It was a far better feeling then feeling the guilt of betraying someone you love.

It had been a month since Jack had caught her in Sawyer's tent. No one else paid attention to the time that went by, but she did. She counted the days since her had touched her, kissed her, even looked at her. It helped her pass the days, but it also condemned her.

Midday of someday on that island, Kate had wondered off into the jungle to cut wood. She didn't wanna rely on the others any more. She felt too much like a burden.

She had lost time being away for so long. She had chopped enough wood for both camps. It was to the point where she could barely lift the axe off the ground. Between the lack of energy from not sleeping and not eating to all her emotions taking over her body she had grown to state of shaking. Most of the time it was a light shaking, but when she would sit and think it became on the verge of convulsing.

It didn't matter anymore to her. Her health was just something else that would soon leave her along with everything else in her life.

Stopping, she stood there for a second and took a break. She was pushing herself. Taking a deep breath she struggled to raise the axe. Brining it behind her head her weakness gave in and the axe brought her weight down. The axe came to the ground inches from her foot. She had missed the wood completely.

"Dammit!" She muttered with a deep exhale.

"You need to watch it there Freckles. Almost lost a foot." Sawyer chuckled.

He never came around at the right time. Always when she was vunerable.

"Not now Sawyer!" She growled as she brought her hand, which shook, violently to her hand to wipe away the sweat and her hair.

Sawyer saw this and then came to see that her body shook.

"You ok?" He asked seriously worried about her.

Kate closed her eyes as she became dizzy. She couldn't do this right now.

"I'm fine Sawyer! Just leave me alone!" She yelled turning her back to him trying to hide her obvious state.

Quickly it became hard to stand and she had to brace herself up against a tree. Her stomach began to turn, as it seemed to do everyday for the last week. This was really pushing her limits.

"Kate you're worrying m-"

She stopped him as his hand came to her shoulder. She spun around getting in his face.

"I don't need you, Sayid, Shannon, or anyone else worrying about me! I don't need anybody!" She yelled before she suddenly became noshes.

She quickly swallowed the feeling and looked to Sawyer who stood it shock.

"Leave me alone." She whispered as the feeling came about again.

Quickly she gathered her things. Without a word she turned and walked away.

She left Sawyer to stand there in question. She wasn't doing good and to him she was obviously denying it. She needed help, but wouldn't take it. He knew should talk to her, but she wouldn't listen to him or the others. Then he thought about it. There was someone she would listen to, it was a matter of getting him to talk.

The next day came with dread for Sawyer. He knew who was coming out to the beach and he knew what he had to do.

Middle of the day sure enough Jack came out onto the beach from the caves. As soon as the crowd subsided Sawyer made his way. Cursing every step he took.

"Jack." He called in a stance of regret.

Everyone turned and began to whisper in gossip when they saw who it was. Jack reluctantly turned around knowing who it was.

"What do you want?" Jack questioned.

Sawyer stepped up.

"I'm not here to play games. I just need to point something out to you." Sawyer announced.

"I don't care to hear about it." Jack said turning away without another word out of his mouth.

"Look I'm not here to talk about the ordeal. It has nothing to do with that." Sawyer called turning him back.

Against his own will Jack listened.

"You have to talk to her." Sawyer said.

Jack looked away in disbelief.

"I thought it had nothing to do with that?" Jack questioned losing his patience.

"It doesn't! If you would just listen!" Sawyer yelled.

Jack sighed and told Sawyer to continue.

"She's not doing good man…" Sawyer began.

"Do you think I care?" Jack asked trying his hardest to look like he didn't because he did, but he had to show he didn't care about her anymore.

"Why don't you console her? You're good at it." Jack snickered throwing up how they got into this mess in the first place.

"Look Jack I'm not asking you to play nice. I know you can't do that. I'm serious she's not good." Sawyer tried to stress without screaming at Jack.

Jack looked away sighing again. He wasn't in the mood for this. He wasn't going to let Sawyer make him feel guilty. But there was something deep down that wanted to know what was wrong. Cause something had to be seriously wrong for Sawyer to come talk to him.

"What's makes you think something's wrong?" Jack asked.

"I saw her yesterday and she was shaking. She couldn't stand. The other's say she won't eat and barely sleeps." Sawyer began to explain.

"That's it right there. She's shaking cause her body has no energy." Jack explained turned back gathering his things.

Sawyer seemed to be waiting for him to go do something about it. Jack turned back to see him giving a questionable look.

"It's not my problem. She can take care of herself. It's her choice to screw her body over." Jack said in a stone tone trying to act like he didn't care.

Sawyer shook his head at Jack ignorance.

"You're going to let her suffer because she slept with me? And you call her selfish-"

"What do you want me to do Sawyer? Go and force her to eat? You really think she's going to listen to me?" Jack questioned in fury.

"You're probably the only on she will listen to." Sawyer said in a low tone of regret as he spotted Kate.

Jack saw his attention caught by something. Slowly turning he saw her. She not walking, but stumbling up the beach. Her face was pale and her body weak. She had lost weight and he could tell she hadn't slept from the bags under her eyes. She looked all together miserable. This broke his heart. Not because of the façade he was putting forth, it was the thought that she had put herself in this situation obviously because of him.

"Are you honestly let her keep doing this to herself?" Sawyer asked before he walked away leaving Jack with the thought.

Jack turned, but Sawyer had already walked off. Slowly he glanced back to Kate seeing that she had either fallen or sat in the sand. Most likely fallen. It tore him apart to see her like this. He guessed he could go talk to her, but what help it would do he really didn't know. It'd probably make things worse then they already were.

Taking a deep breath he slowly headed over. He scuffed his feet through the sand as he reluctantly walked over to her.

She sat there pressing her hand to her forehead. Her head was pounding. Her whole body was. It was like her body had just shut down and wasn't willing to go on anymore. She had foreseen all of this. Slowly her body would just give up and she'd lie there until her heart stopped.

Opening her eyes she saw him. She had to be seeing things. Great now her sight was going. She looked around to make sure that she wasn't seeing him. But he was obviously there.

"Jack?" She whispered reaching her hand out to touch his face.

Her hand almost shook too much for her to keep it up in the air. He quickly took it in his hand and held it tight. A smile came to his face to see her face instantly light up.

"How you doing Kate?" He asked feeling her hand shake in his.

"Good." She answered lowering her head as she pulled her hand away.

That hurt him even worse then it hurt her.

"Heard you weren't eating or sleeping." Jack said.

"Who said that? Sawyer?" Kate asked in a snotty tone.

"Don't be like this. He was worried Kate." Jack tired to explain to her.

"I don't need him to be worried." Kate muttered under her breath as she looked away.

"Well he was obviously had good reason." Jack said look her over.

She looked back trying her best to not to be mad, but she couldn't believe Jack only came over cause Sawyer was worried. Taking a deep breath her stomach began to hurt again. Her face became sour as she put her hand over it. Jack noticed.

"Here.' He said as he pulled a small fruit out of his backpack.

She looked at it like it was poison.

"I'm not hun-"

"Eat." He ordered pushing it towards her.

With a huff she grabbed it from him. She looked at it oddly before taking bite of it. It melted in her mouth. It wasn't the best food in the world, but it was something.

"Are you happy?" She asked with a mouthful.

Jack nodded his head with a slight smile. Turning to gather his things. He needed to get back to the caves.

"Please sleep and eat." He pleaded as he began to get up.

Kate tried to tell herself not to do it, but she did.

"Jack please." She called grabbing his hand.

He stopped closing his eyes. He knew what she wanted, but he turned back to her anyway.

"What?" He asked looking down to see tears forming in her eyes.

"Please." She begged with teary sorrow.

Jack didn't say anything. He just bit his lip and pulled her hand form his. As her hand came to her lap she didn't look down to it she just stared off into the distance.

"I can't.' He whispered before walking away.

Kate sat there for only seconds before she got up and started for the jungle. That feeling worked up in her stomach. Coming to the nearest tree she let it all out. All the feeling that worked up in the last five minutes came to the ground.

Standing up she rested up against the tree holding her stomach. She knew then what was going on inside of her. Something clicked telling her why she had been feeling sick the last couple days and why everything made her sick.

"No." She whispered wrapping her arms around her stomach.

She hit her head lightly against the tree as she began to cry.

"This can't happen. Not here not now." She cried holding her stomach tighter.

She stood there a good while till she let the thought sink in. By then the sun had set. Pushing herself off the tree she slowly made her way back to the beach. Sinking down into her usual spot she welcomed the exhaustion that was brought on by that day. She needed the sleep. Most of all she needed to get herself better.

Waking the next day before any thought or action was brought on the feeling of nausea came quick. Again she found a secluded tree. This time she didn't sit and think about it as long. Only enough to realize she wasn't going to like doing this for three months.

Emerging from the jungle she looked over to see Jack. Her stomach turned to knots thinking about what he had said to her. She had to tell him what was going on, but how would she. He barely talked to her. Telling him this wasn't going to go over easy.

Walking past her stuff she bent down and picked up a water bottle. Quickly she splashed some in her face before capping it and throwing it to the ground. Looking back to Jack she took a breath.

She was going to do this here and now. Walking towards him the thought of uncertainty grew in her mind. What if she wasn't? What if her mind was playing tricks on her? No matter if or not she had to tell him of the possibility.

"Jack." She called walking up behind him.

He looked back as Michael walked away.

"Kate…' He said surprised to even see her.

"I need to talk to you." She announced in a low whisper.

"Ok." Jack said encouraging her to go on.

Kate looked around to see the others listening in.

"Alone." She emphasized.

Jack excused himself and followed Kate over towards the trail to the caves. She headed a ways past it towards Sawyer's tent. She hadn't noticed she was heading that way till she saw him emerge and stop in his tracks. She didn't look over and acknowledge him knowing if she was right she would have to have the same conversation with him. She just didn't want to have it then. She wanted to be sure first. That's why she went to Jack.

Walking a bit of a ways into the dense jungle Kate looked around before she stopped. When she did she looked up to Jack.

"Look I brought you out here because I am tired of everyone being in my, our business." Kate began.

"Kate I don't wanna-"

"I'm not going to bring up any of that. I swear. I just really need to tell you something." She stated.

Looking away she searched for a way to break this to him. Jack was the only person she could talk to, but this was too hard to even utter to him. Still she had to tell him.

"This is very serious and I don't know how to tell you, I'm just-"

"Kate what is it?" Her asked touching her arm.

She stopped and looked down to his hand. It was like the day before when he had grabbed her hand. She just broke. Closing her eyes she fought back tears. Opening them she took a deep breath.

"Jack I think I'm pregnant." She announced looking him strait in the eyes.

He slowly lowered his hand and his stare turned to gawking. She knew this was how he'd take it.

"What the hell did you just say?" A voice questioned.

It wasn't Jack. Kate's stomach tightened up more as she realized who it was. Both looked back to see Sawyer staring at then in disbelief. Kate closed her eyes again as tears began to push at her eyes. She didn't even wanna explain this to Jack, now she had to explain it to both of them.

_I will have another chapter up tomorrow. Hate to leave you guys hanging. I'll also have another chapter up on Surviving in the week!_


	8. Revival

_Hope you enjoy it's kinda short! Also look out for some new stuff out this week!_**  
**

**Revival **

Kate held her eyes closed as tight as she could, hoping this would all go away.

"What?" Sawyer asked again in shock.

He was trying his hardest to push her to edge. To make her say for his own satisfaction.

"What did you say Kate?" He asked in a loud angered voice as he came closer.

She couldn't take it anymore.

"I said I think I'm pregnant." Kate yelled turning to him.

Putting her hand to her forehead she tried not to look at Jack, but she did. He just stared at her like she was a ghost with his eyes ready to burst with tears. He seemed to be feeling the same way she did. On the verge of breaking.

"There's no way." Sawyer finally spoke breaking the silence.

Kate turned giving him a tear-filled look.

"What?' She questioned.

"There's no way." He repeated.

She turned away at his ignorance. She couldn't believe he was denying this, but yet she did expect him to be this way. On the other hand she didn't expect Jack to remain quiet. Maybe he was in shock.

"Oh so you're saying you don't believe me?" Kate questioned.

"Maybe i don't!" Sawyer yelled back.

Kate closed her eyes and pursed her lips. As a tear rolled down her cheek she turned from both of them.

"I don't this." She whispered as she walked away.

Quickly a hand came up to her elbow stopping her. She knew that hand better then she knew he own. Holding her back to him she waited for words.

"Kate." He called in that gentle tone.

Slowly she turned to face him. His eyes had changed from shock to somewhere beteen understanding and worry.

"Are you serious about this?" He asked ignoring Sawyer's groaning answer.

"Yes." She whimpered nodding her head.

He pulled her back to where she stood. He lowered his hand to his side and by his face he seemed to go into thought.

"What?" She asked in a worried tone.

He was silent before he answered.

"It makes since. I mean with your lack of sleep and appetite. Along with your weight loss-"

"Wait don't you gain weight?" Kate asked.

"In your first month or so you loose weight because of morning sickness." Jack explained.

"Do you have morning sickness?" He asked.

"Everyday for the past few days." Kate replied nodding her head.

All fell silent for a while. They all seemed to be thinking about what had just been sprung on them. Thinking of what this meant for them.

"That's it then." Jack whispered looking up to Kate.

Sawyer looked to Jack then Kate and back to Jack.

"What? You're going to believe her like that?" Sawyer questioned.

"It's not a matter of believing her Sawyer! It's a matter of facts and cause and effect!" Jack began.

Sawyer threw his head to the side rolling his eyes in aggravation.

"We both slept with her without protection. It was bound to happen!" Jack finished getting a groan from Sawyer.

Jack didn't bother with it. Instead he looked over to Kate who stood silent letting this all fall down upon her. He was stressed out by this, but couldn't begin to imagine how she felt.

"So now what? Since you seem to know everything Jack. Tell me what happens now?" Sawyer questioned in sarcasm.

Jack looked away form Kate who looked to him ready for the answer.

'We deal with the best way we can. .. like we did with Claire." Jack sighed not really knowing how to deal with it.

Sawyer stared at Jack like he was crazy.

"And if i remember correctly Claire was nine months-"

"Eight." Jack corrected him.

"My bad eight. And what happened she died." Sawyer pointed out.

"Claire was too weak from the kidnapping." Jack began.

"What if Kate gets napped huh?" Sawyer questioned.

"Kate's gonna be fine because I-"

"Oh yeah I forgot she has you. All will be fine as long as we have good ole' Jack on our si-"

"STOP IT!" Kate yelled.

Both stopped and turned to look at her. She had had enough of them fighting of her life and now they were fighting over this child that wasn't even born yet.

"Both of you shut up and not another word!" She warned.

"I know this is a burden on both of you. But it's heavier on me." She tried not to cry.

"Now I don't care if you believe me." She said looking at Sawyer.

"Or not." She continued looking to Jack.

"But I'm having this baby whether either of you, both of you, or one of you cares. This is my problem and I don't need either of you." She finished leaving both speechless.

"Now I wanna be alone." She said as she turned and walked back towards the beach.

Jack watched after her surprised at how she felt. She said she didn't care if he or Sawyer hand anything to do with this baby. And she had every right to feel that way. Sawyer was being an ass and he had to admit he as too. Trying to plan everything out. It wasn't right. He should be consoling her.

"This is bullshit." Sawyer muttered walking past Jack heading towards the beach himself.

Kate stood on the beach. Her feet dug into the sand. She had her arms folded limply across her chest as she stared out into the ocean. This was a ritual for her, but this time was different. This time she had life growing inside of her.

Looking down to her stomach she lowered her hand and let it rest there. Staring at her hand she began to cry. She had never felt so alone. Of course she felt hopelessly alone when Jack left her, but this was completely different. She had another life to take care of now.

She jumped as she felt a hand upon her back. Looking back it wasn't whom she expected.

'Sun?" Kate questioned as Sun came to stand next to her.

"Are you ok?' She asked looking Kate dead in the eyes.

Kate nodded her head as she sniffed back tears.

"Whatever happened between you and Jack it will work itself out. Trust me." Sun smiled.

"You two are too beautiful together." She continued touching Kate on the cheek.

"Thank you." Kate said trying her hardest to give an honest smile.

"You're welcome. And if you ever need to talk I'm here to listen." Sun said as she turned and walked away.

Kate watched her walk up the beach and wondered why she was the only one willing to talk to her besides Sawyer. Maybe it was because she had somewhat of the same problems with Jin. The whole lying thing. It really didn't matter it was nice to have someone to talk to.

Quickly Kate's attention was pulled away from Sun as she saw Jack walking toward she. Without a thought she turned back to the beach. She wasn't in the mood to be called a lair again.

Jack walked up knowing she had seen him and had turned away. Still he walked up. Without a word he took off his shoes and stood right in the surf next to her. She saw him standing there in silence out of the corner of her. She didn't really care if he stood there forever she didn't feel like talking.

"Now I know why you do this." He blurted out.

"It's claming." He finished never once looking over to her.

Silence came over them again as he tried to think of a way to get her to look at him. Slowly he leaned over towards her to where he knew she could see him.

"I believe you." He announced trying to get a look out of her.

She glanced over with a disgusted chuckle.

"Yeah ok." She said in sarcasm.

"I do Kate." He said again coming closer to her.

She looked over at him in repulsion.

"Is this some attempt to make me think you forgive me?" She asked.

"No. But, I do trust you.' He stated.

"But, trusting you doesn't mean I forgive you." He continued.

Looking away she knew this confrontation was too good to be true.

"Still I don't want what happened to us to ruin this child's life." He finished look back out to the water.

Glancing over, for the first she knew he believed her. That he knew she wasn't making this up like Sawyer thought she was. That he wanted this. Or more or less was willing to go through this with her. Watching him stand there not even a foot from her she began to cry. Slowly he turned to see her choking back tears.

"What's wrong?" He asked resting his hand on her shoulder.

"I'm so scared Jack." She cried looking up to him through the tears.

With out any thought or judgment he took her in his arms. The moment she felt his body on her she broke down.

"I know." He whispered gently rubbing her back.

"It's going to be ok." He tried to convince her.

Pulling away she looked up to him again.

"What if I'm not a good mother? What if something happens to the baby? What if I die?" She questioned him.

"You're gonna be a great mother, nothing will happen to the baby, and most of all you're not going to die." He told her as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"It's all going to be ok." He assured her.

She sniffed back tears as she looked over Jack's shoulder to see Sawyer standing outside his tent watching them. Kate slowly looked away lowering her head to rest on Jack's shoulder.

The two stood there for a while holding onto each other. When he felt it was ok to something Jack pulled back. She had stopped crying long ago and now just stood shaking from emotions.

"You ok?" He asked wiping away a tear his shirt didn't catch.

She nodded her head.

"We're going to take this step by step." He said.

She again nodded her head as she took a deep breath of relief. Looking away she again felt good to be next to Jack. Not all stressed out and tensed up like she was when she held in her secrets about Sawyer. She now felt like there was a chance to redeem herself.

"Now I'm gonna make a list of thinks you shouldn't do." Jack explained.

Kate looked away with a laugh.

"Is it going to be nine pages long?" Kate asked with a smile.

"It depends on what I think of.' Jack replied meeting her the same smile.

Kate just stared at him smiling unconsciously to herself.

"We're going to be ok.' He assured her.

With a kiss on the cheek he turned and headed back up the beach towards the caves. Leaving her stand there for once feeling right about this. She knew in time all would be right again.


	9. Begining Again

_It's really short, but i thought i'd give you guys something after last night episode._**  
**

** Beginning Again**

A week or two went by quick. With her and Jack's newfound understanding she wanted to wake up in the morning.

Walking across the beach Kate rubbed her stomach trying to get rid of the morning sickness she had. She headed towards Sawyer's tent knowing he had to have something. She felt weird even thinking of Sawyer. He hadn't said a word to he since she told him and Jack. All she got were evil glances and stares.

Walking in without a word she looked around remembering the last time she had been in there. Lowering her head looking to her stomach, she thought of the outcome that would change all of it.

"What do you want?" Sawyer asked from behind making her jump.

She said nothing as he walked past her giving her one of those looks.

"Uh I was wondering if you had anything for stomachaches?" She asked lowering her hand to her side as Sawyer's stare with her stomach became intense.

He looked away and took a deep breath before looking back.

"Sorry. Fresh out." He replied in a slight sarcastic tone.

"Oh." Kate said getting the feeling he really didn't want her in there.

She stood there for a moment looking around until it became awkward.

"Thanks anyway.' She whispered as she turned and walked out.

She knew he still stood there watching her walk out of the tent. She knew he wanted to say something to her, but couldn't.

Turning back to see the tent she didn't feel that he cared anymore. She really didn't think he cared in the first place. But he did show some virtue when he consoled her with Jack after she had already slept with both of them. After that he kinda died off and now he was digging his grave. She wasn't Freckles anymore to him.

Looking down the beach that feeling crept back up her body. There had to be somebody with some Pepto-Bismol. Then she thought of the most likely person.

Jack.

It was a long walk to the caves. One that she hadn't made in over a month. Every few minutes she had to stop herself from getting sick.

As she walked up to the tree canopied entranced a few people walked out in a hurry. Passing her with out delay. She looked back watching them in curiosity as she slowly walked into the caves. Shrugging it off Kate turned to see Jack.

Unaware of her presence he was putting things away and taking others out. She just stood there with a smile watching him. As he bent over to pick something up off the ground she noticed a piece of paper in his back pocket. She glanced between it and him cleaning up his mess.

"Enjoying the view?" He asked catching her eyes.

She looked away with a blushing chuckle.

"As a matter a fact I was." She smiled looking back at him.

He blushed at the comment as he turned back to cleaning his mess. Standing up he put the things away. Turning he continued going through things as he glanced back and forth to her.

"Haven't seen you in a while." He stated.

"Been catching up on my sleep.' She said.

"That's good. For you and the baby." He stopped looking around to make sure no one heard the conversation.

Not exactly sure of the security he waved her over to talk closer. She obliged. Standing in front of him he stopped and looked her over. Looking away she took a deep breath as the morning sickness came back. It quickly came on strong and she had to put her hand to her mouth.

"You ok?" He asked calling her attention.

"Morning sickness." She whispered as Hurley came up behind them.

Jack's face became stern.

"Here sit down." He offered clearing his things off to reveal where he slept.

Placing a hand on each side of her he helped her to the bed.

"Now I want you to take a deep breath and close your eyes." He instructed sitting down next to her.

Looking away from him she close her eyes and inhaled then slowly she exhaled.

"Again." He instructed

Doing it again the pain slowly disappeared. With another breath without Jack's instruction she felt better. She opened her eyes with the last breath and was hit by him staring at her.

"Better?" He asked in that calming tone he had used since the night before he found her in Sawyer's tent.

Nodding her head she found it suddenly easy to look him in the eyes again.

"Oh I got something for you." He said with great joy as he turned and began to fish something out of his pocket.

He came back with that small piece of paper that she had noticed when she came in.

"What is it?" She asked as he handed it to her.

"The list." He smiled waiting like he was waiting to see someone open a present.

Unfolding it Kate looked to see three things written. All numbered. Reading it over she became amused with a smile.

No extreme amounts of sun.

No climbing trees.

3.No excessive work.

Folding it back she looked up to him.

"I'm impressed." She remarked with a smile.

"Why?" He questioned.

"You narrowed it down to three things." She replied shaking her head.

"Well I didn't think I had to be too specific.' He joked with a wink.

Her body stopped. She couldn't remember the last time he winked at her. It had to be before all of this. Before she even slept with him.

They just sat there entranced with each for the longest moment. There hadn't been a moment like this since that night. That wonderful night that was followed with such toil. And now this.

Jack turned seeming not to be able to take it anymore.

"You wanna take a walk?" Jack asked looking back to her.

She nodded her head in reply. Taking her hand her slowly pulled her up making sure not to stir up her morning sickness. Without letting go of her hand he led her off towards the other end of the caves where there was another trail that led off into the jungle.

They walked along the weed and vine covered trail. Both had thoughts of what separated them. Dropping her hand ever so sweetly to her side they looked to each other. The silence between them was comforting. For a while.

"How are we going to explain this?" Kate finally spoke up.

"When the time comes." Jack smiled reassuring her.

"When do you or when will I start showing?" Kate asked not really knowing anything about being pregnant.

"Bout the third month. Depends.' Jack answered looking over to her stomach as if he was trying to determine.

It became silent again. Kate looked down to the ground in thought. Thought of how this was all going to go down and all that had already happened.

"Sawyer is avoiding me." Kate announced.

"He's taking it hard. It's really hard to deal with things like this.' Jack tried to justify Sawyer's attitude almost seemingly explaining himself.

"He's treating me like I did something…" Kate began as she got an attentive look from Jack.

"Well I did." Kate smiled meekly hiding her grief as she spread her hand over her stomach.

Jack stopped immediately with her words causing her to stop. She watched as he stood in front of her looking her deep in the eyes. Without warning he placed his hand over hers across her stomach. Then he took it in his caressing it.

"You didn't do anything." He said firmly hoping she's throw out the idea.

"You can't control your body." He explained.

"I feel so guilty." Kate whimpered as she turned away.

Jack turned her back to him.

"Don't. I don't want you to." He slightly ordered her.

Kate turned with tears in her eyes. She had felt so guilty over the last month and after she found out she was pregnant and that it could be Jack or Sawyer's she' felt worse. But with his words she completely let the feeling leave her body. She let it fly away and hopefully it wouldn't return.

"I don't wanna feel this way, but I can't help it. I can't just tell it to go away. Like you can just up and forgive me. I have to work through it in my own way." Kate explained hoping he didn't take her comment about him seriously.

He looked to her with a smile and nodded his head in understanding. Looking away they began talking again. Talking about what her body was going to be going through and what was already happening to it. She was scared, but felt safe and centered that Jack was going to be there at her side the whole way.

As they walked and talked she watched him. The way he was so concerned and informative. It became hard to pay attention to what he was really saying. The feeling of them being "ok" was over powering herself to take in everything. Then she finally took it in. They were "ok" for now at least.

**!READ!**

I'm having a delima. I have two ideas i want to run with, but i really can't pick just one to work with right now. So i want you to tell me what you want. Either i start on "Surviving's" sequeal following Kate and Jack off the island. There's going to be alot of drama. Already planned for that. Plus i have a Triquel where they go back to island. Or i have this greath story going along with Locke truely knowing too much about the island and the others. And basically it's a fight for survival between the survivors who trust Locke and those who don't. Kinda like "Surviving"**  
**, but more thriller-y and not as much Jack and Kate. (i'll still have tons of them of course!) I want you to decide which i start first. Because i'm going to do both so whatever one you don't choose i'm going to start up when i'm closer to finishing "Essence...". It's your choice tell me what yuo want! ( :


	10. Begining Again II

_This is a continuation of the last chapter. Basically it's Sawyer's half! Enjoy!_**  
**

**Beginning Again II**

Jack and Kate walked out onto the beach. Smiles on both of their faces as they talked.

Some looked back to see them. They looked at them oddly wondering why they looked so happy. All of them had been there when Jack caught Kate with Sawyer. It had become somewhat usual to see them trying to avoid each other. But with it being usual everyone like them better like this.

"See you later." Jack smiled as he walked off.

Kate smiled back as she watched Jack walked over to the rest of the survivors. She felt good after that long talk. As soon as she turned she remembered the real reason why she went to the caves. Medicine. She quickly turned around and was going to yell for Jack, but stopped. Something stopped her. She really didn't feel sick anymore. She decided to just leave it alone and headed back to her small make shift tent that suited her for now.

Turning and heading towards her tent she was stopped by Shannon walking from Sayid up to her.

"So you guys make up?" She asked looking over to Jack chatting with Charlie.

"I guess." Kate sighed also looking over to him.

"Was the sex good?" Shannon asked.

Kate turned and stared at Shannon.

"We didn't have sex." Kate replied.

Shannon's face turned sour then snotty.

"Oh." She said as she got a small smile pulling at the corner of her lips.

Kate watched as she turned away and started walking for Sayid. It was odd how she acted. Acting as though there had to be more to the story. There wasn't. Well there was. The baby, but nothing sexual in a sense.

Shrugging it off, Kate headed down the beach towards her tent.

A week went by and everything carried on. Kate sat in the sand out in front of her tent with her things on one side of her, some things she had found on the other, and an empty suitcase in front of her. She sorted through clothes. Picking some from a pile at her side and putting them in the suitcase in front of her.

Being as busy as she was she still looked up when a familiar shadow walked past her. Looking up she saw Sawyer walked by and keep walking. Pushing him out she went back to sorting through things. With a loud exhale she saw him stop, turn around, and head back for her.

He came and stood in front of her watching what she was doing. He seemed to wait for her to call upon him, but she wanted him to speak up.

"What you doing?' He asked with the sound of guilt on his breath.

She looked up with a smile. A smile being happy to see him.

"Sorting through what I'm going to wear now and later." She replied.

"Ain't it a little early to be thinking about that Freckles?" He asked as he sat down beside her.

She was Freckles again. She had always hated that name, but now it made her heart sing to hear it. It meant he saw her as a person again.

"I guess." She shrugged continuing what she was doing.

He wanted to say something, but could and she knew it. He just wanted to turn and say, "I believe you and it's going to be ok." Or maybe that was what she wanted him to say. No it was more what Jack would say. She had to face it. All she was going to get out of Sawyer was these awkward conversations leading nowhere.

"Craving any weird…things?' He asked finally looking over at her.

"Nope. Not yet." Kate answered cocking her head to look at both what she was doing and Sawyer.

"Jack said I will soon though. Doubt there'll be any corner store to run and get me any of it." She joked.

"Yeah…" Sawyer agreed with a sigh.

Kate finished sorting her things and put her suitcase back in her tent. Then she and Sawyer just sat there staring out at the water. No words. No comfort really. Just an anxiety of wanting to say something.

Looking over to the others down the beach she admired them and their uninterrupted lives. They didn't have to go through this. But they would have to live a different kind of stress when they found out what was going on.

"They're gonna freak." Kate sighed looking away to the sand in front of her.

"No they won't." Sawyer announced calling Kate's attention to him.

"It'll all be fine.' He smiled.

For once his smile made her feel better instead of worse. It actually made her think that it would be all right.

"Dude I think it would be better if we did it the other way." Hurley suggested to Jack as they walked out onto the beach.

"I know Hurley, but I don't think using marijuana for medicinal uses will prevent the other uses of it.' Jack laughed trying to remember how him and Hurley had gotten into this conversation in the first place.

Looking away as Hurley continued his argument he saw Kate standing with her face in her hands. She would look up every once and a while and then bury it again. Her eyes glistened with tears and her face was red with blush that perked her cheeks.

"I'll see you later." Jack announced quickly walking away from Hurley.

"Ok." Hurley replied standing there watching Jack walk away.

He thought it was kinda rude that Jack would just up and walk away from him right in the middle of their conversation. But he wasn't one to hold grudges.

"I'm sorry." Kate whimpered uncovering her face again.

"Son of a bitch!" Sawyer muttered back to her.

Jack kept his words to himself as he walked up to Kate. He didn't know what was going on, but wanted to find out.

"What's going on?" Jack asked.

Kate looked up to him. Her face still red and her breath labored with laughter.

"I threw up on Sawyer." Kate smiled trying her best to keep in the laughter.

Jack licked his lips. Pursing them he tried concealing his own smile as he looked over to see Sawyer in the brush swearing under his breath as he poured his water bottle on his shirt.

"Sorry I missed it." Jack finally gave in looking back to Kate.

"Real funny doc." Sawyer grinned sarcastically as he came towards them shaking his shirt out.

Jack and Kate glanced back and froth to each other trying to keep silent as Sawyer continued to beat his shirt. Pounding his fist into the cloth thinking he could beat the regurgitated food out of it.

Kate followed Sawyer with his eyes as he walked over to his tent. Emerging inside, she looked back to Jack who seemed to have been watching Sawyer too.

"Oh by the way I have something for you." Jack announced going for his backpack.

"It's not another list is it?" Kate winded with a chuckle.

"Nope better." Jack smiled handing her a baggy of mashed up leaves.

Kate stared at it for a moment.

"What is it?" She asked looking up to Jack confused.

"Sun said it will help with the morning sickness." Jack stated.

"Sun? Kate questioned.

"She knows? Am I that obvious?" Kate asked pulling at the bottom of her shirt.

"No." Jack smiled shaking his head as he glanced up to her from her stomach.

"She said she figured it out when you were crying after you told us." Jack explained with a heavy exhale.

Before either could say anything Sawyer had joined them with new attire. He walked right past them to the pile of dirty clothes.

Jack watched as Kate followed Sawyer's every move. Her eyes watching him like a vulture waiting for that person to just take that last breath and fall to death. Slowly her arms folded across her chest as she a deep breath.

He knew it bothered her that Sawyer was being distant and it bothered him that it bothered her. He hated to see her worry or fret over something. Especially Sawyer. He felt this way when she was trying to hide what she was doing with Sawyer. He knew Sawyer was what was wrong wit her. She acted the same way every time.

"Well I have to go take care of some things…' Jack announced looking over his shoulder to the others more so not being able to take Kate's look anymore.

Kate turned from Sawyer back to Jack who looked back to her. His face looked brought down liked he hadn't slept in forever. It was weird had it suddenly changed.

Slowly he moved towards her never breaking his gaze. Then he got to her he looked over as Sawyer mutter something else.

'You gonna be ok?' He asked referring more to Sawyer then her physical state.

Kate looked over in the same direction to see Jack looking at Sawyer.

"I'll be fine. He's harmless." She sighed staring at Jack who still had his head turned and gaze upon Sawyer.

He turned to see her looking almost desperate at him. Slowly he let a smile escape his lips.

"Ok. Be careful." He advised grasping her arm giving it a good squeeze.

"I'll see you later." He announced.

As he turned he looked back over to Sawyer then to Kate. He gave her a smile then turned away.

She knew that smile. It was the smile he always gave her when he was covering up his real reasons and feelings. She knew he was having issues towards Sawyer and there was nothing she could do about it. Not anymore.

"Who's harmless?' Sawyer's voice rang in her ear as she watched Jack walk off.

"It's nothing…" She replied with a gentle sigh as she turned back to see Sawyer shirt still in hand.

"How's the shirt?" She asked no more amusement from it in her voice like there had been. It was more full of thought.

He didn't answer. His eyes watched Jack as she had, but they were concentrated on a deep thing. Not worry. Rivalry.

"Did he-?' Sawyer asked outta the blue trying to think of what it was Jack did.

Kate looked to him, then Jack, and back up to Sawyer who had obviously figured it out.

"I swear if he thinks I'm harmless-!"

She braced her hand over his chest stopping him from taking one foot of action. He looked down to her with questioning in his eyes.

"Let it go Sawyer." She ordered with heavy voice.

"But he-"

"Please." She begged wondering after her words where it would really go.

He looked from her with disappointed eyes to Jack and the envy set it. He envied Jack and all he had, but was he really going to let him win the fight over his supposed unborn child?

See he had let go she lowered her hand and stared up to him waiting to make sure he didn't try anything too fast for her. Seeing that it had settled in him she turned away.

"Is this how it's gonna be?" He finally asked.

Picking up her things she had brought over to his tent she turned and stood strait up as she looked him in the eyes the way she sometimes only looked to Jack.

"I don't know." She answered.

And with that she lowered her eyes upon the sand and turned away.

Walking away from him his words stuck in her mind.

"It'll be fine."

She smiled at the thought of it all going back to the way it was before. But still with the way it was now she did have both of them on her side again. Somewhat. She couldn't tell with Sawyer. Until he did what must have been playing in his mind that whole morning.

Feeling a hand upon her arm she could've sworn it to be Jack. That how he always held her. But when she looked over she saw those grinning lips upon that scruffy face. She said not a word when she saw him. She just let him wrap his arm around her and pull her close as they walked. She didn't want to ruin this. This at least kind of told her how he felt.

As they approached her tent Sawyer had a million thoughts in his mind of what he just did. Soon those thoughts faded to utter hate as he looked away from the wind to see Jack. Standing there along the imaginary road him and Kate walked down in their world.

And he knew Jack saw him too. Standing there trying to pay attention to the others as the well to be mother of his child walked past him with another man guiding her in his arms. It made his blood boil as it did Sawyer when her saw him with Kate.

Strolling past Sawyer only looked to him out of the corner of his eyes. And when he saw him he squeezed Kate's shoulder gently pulling her that much closer as they passed. Hopefully telling Kate that he was there for her and telling Jack this was a fight.

**My Decision**

_I decided that i am going to start the squeal to "Surviving...' . I will have the first chapter up on Thursday along with another chapter to "Essence...". The squeal will be called "Living After Reclusion."_

_ENJOY! _

_ -: heart:-_

** Sinorita **


	11. Unimaginable Circimstances

_Sorry it took so long to get this up...i made it long to make up. So i hope you enjoy. And thanks to all of you again for reviewing. And i swear i will have the squeal to "Surviving" up this week! Enjoy!  
_**  
**

** Unimaginable Circumstances**

A month went by unnoticed. Maybe among the others, but not Kate. Everyday was a new experience for her. A new feeling or concern. A worry or problem. This was how she was going to live her life now. Unexpected.

With a sigh Kate got up. She had woke up about noon and had just laid there in her bed. Listening to the others outside the tent. She had felt so exhausted that morning. Her body just didn't want to get up. It felt too good just lying there. But she pushed her self up.

Sitting there for a moment she looked around trying to give herself a good reason not to lie back down. She really didn't see a good enough reason, but the life inside her pushed her forth.

Throwing her legs over the makeshift bed she rose to her feet. Looking down to her clothes she really need to change. Turning around she picked up a suitcase and put it on the bed.

Going through her "now" pair of clothes, she found the tank top she was wearing when they had crashed. Taking it out she searched for a pair of pants that she could wear. Pulling out a pair of pants she wore two weeks ago. Oddly she could still wear the same things she always wore. She hadn't gained much weight. Just a snug fit here and there.

Taking off her clothes she had been wearing for nearly the last two weeks she went for the pair of pants. Stepping into them she took the edges of them and pulled them up. As she got them up to her hips it became a harder to pull them up to her waist. Nothing unusual. But as soon as she got them up to her waist and went to zip them up she couldn't.

Looking down to them she tugged up on the zipper again. It barely budged.

Again. Nothing.

"Are you serious?" Kate questioned to herself.

Trying it one last time for her own satisfaction she still couldn't get anything. She put her hands to her side giving up with a heavy exhale. Looking down to her stomach she really noticed that it had gotten bigger. Not much bigger to where it might be noticeable, but enough for her to notice.

Putting her hand to her skin she ran it over her stomach. A small smile came to her face. Now it was certain this was going to happen. There was evidence. Moving her hand up towards her chest she could see the unzipped zipper. It agitated her.

Taking a deep breath she turned and took a belt out of the suitcase. Slipping it through the holes she bucketed it as tight as she could. She was going try her best to wear these clothes as long as she could.

She then picked up the shirt and slipped it over her head. As she got in over her stomach it slowly rose up over her belly button. Pulling it down again it again came back up over her belly button. It was then and there where she gave up. The instance of her clothes not fitting her was too much for her in that moment. She didn't know why it was getting to her, but it was.

With a groan she turned to search for another shirt, but she was stopped by the tarp of her tent being thrown up. Hurley stood there at the entrance of the tent staring at her. His eyes wide and mouth a gape. He just stood motionless gawking at her like he had when he found out about her being a fugitive. It was kinda scaring her.

Then she realized it. As she lightly touched her stomach she watched his eyes move away then turn back as she lower her hand to her side.

"He knows." She thought.

"I've put that much weight on." She continued.

Shaking the thought from her head along with him it seemed she turned and began to frantically search through her clothes for something to cover up.

"Umm-what can I do for you Hurley?' She stuttered as she flipped through her catalog of clothes.

"Dude. Ummm- I just wanted to let you ummm know that Locke killed some boar…" He began looking away as she bent over her suitcase looking for something he didn't wanna know about.

"I don't eat meat." She announced as her face became distorted at the thought.

"Oh. Well Sun picked some weird green fruit thingies." He stated with a shrug of his shoulders.

Kate's face went back to normal and she went back to looking. Then she found it. The dress shirt she had been wearing before the crash. It could work.

"I just thought you should know." Hurley sighed trying his best to get out of the situation as fast as he could.

"Thanks.' Kate smiled looking over to him as she pulled the shirt out.

He gave her a weak smile as his eyes wondered around trying not to look directly at her. Then as soon as he came in her was out. A sigh of relief seemed to be breathed by both. Pushing the awkward feeling out of her mind she turned. Throwing the dress shirt around her she felt somewhat better that it still fit. Well it was a huge shirt, but still it fit.

In a better mood just from her shirt fitting she decided to take on what was left of the day. Stepping out of her tent she headed up the beach towards the other survivors. She saw them all sitting around the fire Locke was preparing the boar over. Their faces were brought down by hunger and she saw that. This was the first time in about a week or so that had boar. Nonetheless they had it.

As she walked up the beach seemingly minding her own business, Hurley and Charlie sat next to each other with shoulders turned watching her. After his encounter in her tent he raced as fast as he could to get Charlie's opinion on it. At first he passed it off as the way she was turned or something of that nature. Then as he saw her walk up the beach he knew something was up.

"Oh my you weren't kidding!" Charlie exclaimed in a loud whisper as he tired hard to look away from Kate.

"Dude see what is was talking about?" Hurley questioned they both turned back to her.

Charlie looked away and back to Hurley.

"You don't think her and Jack…and that time we? Do you?" He questioned wondering if she truly was with child.

"Well she also…you know…with Sawyer. " Hurley mumbled trying to explain both possibilities.

"It's possible." Charlie shrugged with bright eyes.

"What's possible?" That lighthearted voice asked joining the conversation.

Charlie and Hurley's eyes went wide as you could almost hear them swallow at the sound of her voice. Turning they came to face her bright and greeting face. Both tried their hardest not to look, but it was irresistible.

"Umm…that yo- the boar tastes like chicken." Charlie stammered trying his best to make up some believable lie.

Kate's eyes became narrow as she looked between the both. They both seemed nervous. Neither could focus a gaze upon her. Instead they looked around avoiding her.

"The boar tastes like chicken?" She questioned again looking between the two.

"Yeah. Here taste." Charlie shouted shoving a piece of boar in her face.

She suddenly became queasy at the mere sight of the meat.

"I think I'll pass.' She groaned looking away.

The two seemed to sigh in relief thinking she bought it. But just by the way they acted and the look on their faces she knew something was up.

"Besides I have this.' She smiled pulling out a mango.

"Shouldn't you be eating a little more?" Hurley asked.

Kate looked to him with narrow eyes again.

"Why?" She asked slowly catching onto their game.

"Cause of the b-"

Before he could finish Charlie swung him hard in the back of the head. Hurley's hand immediately came up to nurse the throbbing pain.

"What was that for?" He asked.

"Shut up!' Charlie warned with wide eyes looking over to Kate.

She sat watching back in froth between them as they muttered a conversation between each other. They knew something or at least thought they did.

"I'm going to head back to my tent." She announced.

Immediately the two looked up to her and stopped their jabbering.

"See you later." Hurley said as Charlie waved behind him.

Kate looked away from them rolling her eyes. Those two suddenly became more concerned with gossip then Shannon, but it was nice seeing Charlie had something to keep him occupied after Claire and Jacob's death. Still he was acting weird.

Hours went by and the day went on as usual.

Kate sat in the doorway of her now permanent tent. Her, Jack, and Sawyer spent a good day the week before building it. Now she sat there staring out into the ocean like always watching the waves come up the shore and then reseed back into the ocean. They seemed to symbolize life on the island. Their lives came close to danger as the waves came closer to the sand. Then everything became fine as the waves joined with the water again. But soon enough the waves would come in again and so would their lives. When would they ever get rescued.

Looking down the beach she watched the others go along with their lives. Once again she became entranced watching them. She wanted to join them and do something, but today wasn't really her day. Going back to the waves she rested her arm up on her bent knees and her head in her hand.

"Thinking out too loud again?" A voice asked her.

She turned to see Jack standing over her with a smile. She smiled back remembering when he had followed her out into the jungle after she had slept with Sawyer.

"Just a little." She replied looking back out to the water.

Oddly he didn't come and sit next to her. He stood where he was.

"Wanna go for a walk?" He asked.

She thought about it. Did she wanna get up? Did she wanna walk? She really just wanted to be lazy and sit there that whole day. Then she looked up to Jack and all in her mind changed. She hadn't seen him in a week and it would be nice to get up and walk around.

"Sure." She smiled.

Before she could get to her feet her had his hand out for her. Grabbing a hold of it he pulled her up. When she got to her feet they headed down to the surf.

They were quiet as they walked across the sand. The waves crashing against their feet. It felt good once again just to walk and be next to each other. No words needed. But still she knew a conversation would always spark.

"So how we doing today?" He finally spoke up.

"I feel really fat." She sighed.

Jack chuckled at the statement. She looked over to him offended.

"I do." She winded.

"Yeah ok." Jack said sarcastically as he looked over to her.

"I put my clothes on today and they didn't fit." She explained trying to justify her complaint.

"Kate. Of course they aren't going to fit. You're going into your second trimester. You should be bigger." He stated with a raised eyebrow lifting up her shirt.

"Quit it!" She laughed playfully slapping his hand.

He did it again and made a funny face.

"Second thought you are kind of fat." He joked poking her in the side.

She quickly pulled away from him and wrapped her arms around her stomach. Putting on a pout she began to turn away.

"Come here." He smiled pulling her back by her arm.

Up in her and Sayid's tent, Shannon stood watching Jack and Kate walking. She had become side tracked doing whatever she was doing. She had been pulled away and just stood there watching them. She watched everyone. It was something she liked to do. But watching them was more interesting.

"She's gotten bigger." Sayid said walking up behind her resting his hand upon her back.

She turned to see him as he greeted her with a smile. Turning back she again concentrated on Jack and Kate. Her focused on her stomach.

"You don't think she's pregnant do you?" She asked looking back to him.

"No…" He said seeming like he was thinking about it.

There wasn't really anything to think about it was obvious.

Shannon turned back and continued watching them. The way Jack kept poking her in the side and she pulled away and laughed. Then she thought back to how they had been acting towards each other and how Sawyer had been oddly close at times and then completely distant the next.

"Do you think he knows?" She asked not even turned from them.

"He's a doctor he has to." Sayid answered turning back.

She turned and watched him walk away then went back to watching them. They continued walking, but soon Locke running from the jungle down the beach towards Jack caught her attention.

"So w-"

"JACK!" Locke yelled running up to him.

Jack turned to see Locke running up to the two.

"John what's wrong?" Jack questioned seeing the urgency and worry in his eyes.

"Walt-Walt collapsed! Back at the caves!' He announced catching his breath.

Jack's eyes became wide. Quickly before Locke could explain Jack began to run up the beach. Kate following him.

"Stay here!" He ordered turning back to Kate.

"No I'm coming with you!" She contradicted.

Jack stopped running and turned back.

"Not with the baby." He warned her in near whispered so no one heard.

"Jack I'm fine." She assured him looking strait into his eyes.

Jack looked away to Locke with heavy exhale. He knew whatever he said she'd go anyway there wasn't a point in arguing.

Glancing back to her he saw the sternness in her face. She wasn't going to give up.

"Alright." He sighed in defeat.

Her face changed with the small victory.

"Just stay close." He warned catching an odd glimpse of Locke.

Kate saw his face. He seemed to somehow know. His eyes traveled down to her stomach quickly and then turned to Jack as he headed off again. She was certain he knew.

The three swiftly made it into the jungle. Locke leading them with Jack in second and Kate a close third. Locke ran ahead of the two and Jack tried to keep up, but his mind was on Kate behind him. Every couple of minutes he looked back to her as they ran. He wanted to make sure she was all right. Make sure something didn't happen.

Kate became heavy with breath and slowed to almost a halt. Of course causing Jack to slow. Looking back he saw her wiping the sweat from her brow as she caught her breath. He stopped and began a slow walk catching the attention on Locke.

"Come on!" He yelled.

Jack nodded his head and turned back to Kate. She looked up as he came close.

"You ok?" He asked.

She nodded her head taking a deep breath.

"Just short of breath that's all." She smiled covering up a sudden pain in her stomach.

"Well you're breathing for two now. Use it wisely." He smiled back as he turned and they began again.

Walking a little farther she regained her breath, but there was this small pinching pain in her stomach. At first she thought it to be hunger. Then it suddenly came on stronger pulling her behind again.

Jack hadn't looked back to as he kept going. But she kept her eyes on him as the pain worsened. Taking a deep breath like she had when she was hit with morning sickness she tried to take her mind off of it and continue.

Maybe it was morning sickness? But she hadn't had any sight of that in two weeks or more. It just wasn't that type of nauseating feeling. It was burning.

Taking another breath it slowly went away. Just vanishing. Allowing her to somewhat catch up to Jack.

As she was in two feet of him a searing pain seemed to stab her in the stomach. Immediately she clutched her stomach and barreled over in pain.

"Uhh…" She gasped out.

Jack quickly turned around. Seeing her bent over her arm wrapped tightly around her stomach.

"Kate…" He silently called as he raced to her side.

Quickly another pain came faster and more painful.

"Oh..." She moaned putting her hand out trying to keep her balance.

Jack came to her side and wrapped his arm around her helping her stand up strait.

"What is it? What's wrong?" he questioned.

"It's-there's-" She began before she was sent to the ground in crippling pain.

"What?" Jack questioned his heart racing as he kneeled next to her.

The pain was coming on so strong now that it was enabling her to take full breaths or make words. It was too much.

"Jack!" Locked called from a head.

Jack looked up to see him staring at them in question. Then he remembered Walt.

"Head on. Tell them I'll be there in a minute!" Jack yelled back to him.

Locke nodded his head and went off towards the caves. Jack looked back down to Kate who was clenching her jaw and digging her hands into his arm. He could see the pain written on her face as she drew quick breaths trying to calm herself.

"Kate. Look at me." He ordered grasping her face.

Slowly she turned and looked to him. Her eyes filled with tears.

"What hurts?" He asked.

Closing her eyes tight as another pain surged through her body she opened her mouth to speak, but the pain was too great for her to explain.

"Here." She muttered taking is hand placing it over her stomach.

Jack's heart seemed to stop. The baby. There was something wrong with the baby. He knew it. He looked away making sure to not let her see his tears at the thought.

"Can you walk?" He asked looking back.

"I think." She answered.

Slowly and trying her best without his help, she pushed herself to stand. As she did he came behind her. Taking her hand in his and putting his other on the side of her stomach he began to lead her back to beach.

"You're ok I promise." He whispered gently squeezing her hand. Hoping to himself he was right.

Rushing out onto the beach they caught the attention of the others. Neither noticed. With Jack trying to get her to tent as fast as possible and Kate in unbearable pain they didn't take notice.

Standing among the questioning survivors Sawyer caught notice as the others began their whispering gossip. He looked to each one of them trying interpret what was going on. Then he saw them. Her in his arms him nearly carrying her. The look on her face he could see was pain. He looked up Jack who seemed to be chanting something to her as the rushed into her tent.

Something was wrong.

Dropping what he was doing, Sawyer headed off after them.

Emerging in the tent Jack led her to her bed. Taking her other hand he helped her to sit down. As her body met the cushion she felt like she had been stabbed.

"Owww!" She yelled gripping the sides of the bed.

Jack quickly took her hand so she had something. Kneeling down in front of her he looked up to see her face ease up as the pain passed.

"Gone?" He asked searching her face for an answer.

"For now.' She sighed in relief.

Sitting there she slowly calmed herself down waiting for it again. Still she questioned what was wrong. This had come on so sudden and so powerful. Jack looked away with the same thought. He didn't know what it was. He had ideas, but no certainties. The only thing he did know is that he was worried about her and the baby.

"What's going on?" Sawyer breathed barging in.

Jack turned and looked up to him as Kate's eyes did too. Sawyer's face searched Jack's then again came to Kate's. Both were filled with worry and unknowing and he could tell something wasn't right.

"She's ha-"

Before Jack could explain Kate dug her nails into his hand. As she predicted another pain took her breath away. It felt like a thousand knives stabbing her all at once.

"Oh my god…" She cried balling her other hand into a fist.

Both Sawyer and Jack looked to her. Her face dripped in sweat as she bent over pressing her and Jack's hand into her leg bracing herself. The pain increased and she squeezed his hand harder. This one wasn't going away.

"Kate…" Jack called in a claming tone as he put his free hand to her face.

She looked up from her throbbing daze to meet his eyes. They were wide and trying to comfort her. She knew he was trying his best, but it hurt too bad. She had to look away unable to keep his stare. Her eyes met Sawyer's and she saw the same fear in question she had. He had no idea what was going on as he stood there behind Jack taking it all in.

"I need you to breath." Jack said making her look back to him.

She clenched her jaw again as tight as she could. The pain wouldn't let up. It kept on and on. Coming worse and harder very second.

"Breath Kate.' He said once again trying to meet her eyes.

Seeing his look she did what he said. She was willing to do anything he said at the moment just to get it to stop. To go away. Closing her eyes she slowly inhaled. As the breath came into her mouth she held it there. Letting it flow to her body and heal it. Then slowly she parted her lips letting it escape.

"Good." Jack said encouraging her.

"Another."

Slowly she inhaled again and held it like she had before. Letting it heal her body again. Then as before she let it out her body as the pain settled.

She kept his up for a while. It did more to calm her and keep her mind off of the pain. Trying her best to block everything out she couldn't even look to either of the two standing in front of her. Jack never blinked his gaze away from her. Too worried that he'd loose her if he did. Sawyer on the other hand still stood behind Jack, but looked away. She knew he had no idea what to think.

Minutes went by and nothing happened. The panicking seemed to have left the tent, but the worry still surrounded them. Taking one last deep breath Kate opened her eyes and looked down to her stomach. Placing her free hand on it she moved it around as if trying to make sure it was secure.

"I think it's gone." She announced.

Both men looked up to her immediately with her words.

"Are you sure?" Jack asked.

Kate took a minute and waited to make sure. Nothing came about. It was gone. Still as burning feeling lingered about, but she wasn't going to complain.

"Yeah." She smiled looking up from her stomach.

All three breathed a sigh of relief.

"What the hell was all that?" Sawyer asked hoping he could finally get an answer.

"Don't know." Jack answered looked back up to him.

Was he telling the truth or did he just not want him to know? Sawyer looked to Kate for an answer seeing how she was the one that experienced it. She didn't look to either of them. She just sat there rubbing her face in exhaustion. The pain had taken a lot out of her.

Jack looked from Sawyer obviously getting the point of his cold shoulder. Seeing Kate's weary state he questioned if she was really ok.

"Are you all right?" He asked tilting her head down.

"Fine." Kate answered wiping her hand across her face.

"Just tired now is all." She smiled weak.

Standing up Jack came over her making her look up to him.

"I want you to lie down and rest." He said.

Without any hesitation, Kate did what he said. She was way too worn out to argue or try otherwise. Turning she lay on her side facing Sawyer. Her eyes became heavy instantly and soon it became hard to keep them open. Jack's shadow came over her as he tried his best to make her comfortable.

"I'm going to go check on Walt." He announced over her.

She didn't even bother to open her eyes as he spoke to her. He knew she was listening.

"I'll be back tonight to check on you. And Sawyer will be here on the beach if you need anything." He finished as he turned to Sawyer. Who looked to him with an opposing stare.

He kept that stare as Jack kept his walking past him out of the tent not even bothering to look back to Kate. Sawyer did. He looked over to see her fast asleep or faking it. Seeing her there her hand across her stomach he knew he wasn't getting the truth.

"What's really wrong with her doc?" Sawyer asked hurrying after Jack.

"I really don't know Sawyer." Jack answered him not even slowing down to speak.

Sawyer caught up with him and took him by the arm. Turning him around he wasn't greeted by a kind face.

"What do you mean you don't know?' Sawyer asked with fury in his voice.

Jack flung Sawyer's hand off of him.

"I can't know what's wrong. Without any instruments or machines and not to mention the fact that we're on an island in the middle of God knows where I can't find out what's wrong." Jack explained meeting Sawyer's stare.

With that Jack slowly turned and began to walk off.

"What do you think is wrong?" Sawyer questioned standing place.

Jack stopped. What did he think? He didn't even want to put that in his mind. He wanted to push it as far away as he could. Hoping it wasn't true. But it crept up on him with Sawyer's question.

Turning Jack's gaze upon Sawyer was full of guilt. He shouldn't be the one to think of what was wrong, but he did. And it ate him up.

"Well…" Sawyer pressed him.

There were no words as Jack turned with heavy breath. He couldn't even look to Sawyer as he walked back to him. Slowly his eyes met Sawyer's questioning gaze and it pierced his heart.

"You really wanna know what I think?" Jack asked hoping with much doubt that he didn't.

"Well yeah. It'd be nice to know what is going on." Sawyer answered with a roll of his neck.

"I think she's miscarrying." Jack answered his words hallow as he again turned and began to walk away.

Sawyer looked back and stared at him blankly. He couldn't comprehend what he just heard out of Jack's mouth.

"What the hell did you just say?' Sawyer asked.

Slowly Jack turned again hoping it to be the last time.

"You asked what I thought Sawyer and I told you. It's a high possibility." Jack explained shrugging his shoulders.

It seemed to Sawyer like Jack didn't even care at that moment and it pissed him off. But in all actuality Jack was having trouble even uttering the words. It was the last thing he wanted to say or see happen.

"Don't say shit like that!" Sawyer warned walking up to Jack.

Quickly Jack put his guard up. He could tell by the way Sawyer moved that he wasn't thinking clearly.

"It's not like I'm making this up Sawyer. I wish I were, but you have to face the-"

Sawyer swung and hit Jack hard in the jaw before he could finish. Sending him back on his feet. Jack caught himself and raced back tackling Sawyer to the sand. Coming on top of him, Sawyer quickly caught him off guard by flipping him over. As he got him trapped under him he hit Jack as hard as he could in the eye.

"AHHHH!" Jack yelled out grabbing covering his eye.

Sawyer didn't go for another hit. Instead he got up and watched Jack squander at his feet. Turning away looking at the people gathering around them he let his guard down. He didn't see Jack get to his feet and deck him to the sand again. This time Jack didn't let him take control. He quickly slammed his fist into his jaw.

As he continued to beat him and he was again over turned Charlie, Hurley, and Sayid came rushing up. Ready to break them up.

"Guys! Guys!" Sayid called trying to get between.

Everyone was trying their best to get a grip on one of them. Their punches and blows were too close for anyone to try and make an attempt. Neither wanted to give up, but only did Jack stop when he saw Kate standing outside her tent watching them. Her face was brought down by sadness seeing them fighting.

Standing up Jack completely forgot about Sawyer. With his guard down Sawyer quickly took the advantage and nailed him in the gut. Sending Jack again to the ground breathless. And again he sat on him trying to beat him into submission.

"Sawyer!" She yelled as she began to run up to the growing crowd.

Sawyer didn't hear her. He acted as if he didn't want to hear her. He just tried hi hardest to break Jack. Break him of the thoughts he had.

"Jack!" She yelled hoping to get one of them to stop.

"Stop it-"

Her words stopped short as pain tore through her body again. Her eyes went wide and her hand went to her stomach clutching it.

"Oh god!" She gasped bracing her fall with her hand.

Both heard her, but only Jack stopped. Looking over he saw her hunched over and the sand rocking slightly back in forth as she tried to calm herself. Without thought of Sawyer, Jack got up and rushed off towards her. Sawyer saw this and turned with the rest of the crowd to see what sent him off.

"Hey we wer-"

He stopped seeing Kate as Jack had. Hunched over in the sand rocking slightly back and forth. Whispers became over the crowd. They all wanted to know what was going on, but not more then Sawyer. As Jack, he too hurried over to her.

Jack almost came to his knees as he reached her. He looked her over as he did when he first saw her like this. Her eyes were closed tight trying to bear through the pain.

"Just breath Kate…" He coaxed her rubbing the back of her head.

Feeling his hand she reached up for him. Grasping for some kind of leverage. Grabbing her hand he wrapped it around his neck. As swiftly and gently as he could he picked her up in his arms. Not even taking notice of Sawyer or the others watching the display, he headed as fast as he could to her tent. Praying what he thought wasn't right.

Rushing into the tent without thought he came over and laid her upon her bed. Removing his arms from around her she went to sit up, but his hands came to her shoulders in contradiction.

"Lie down and breath Kate." He ordered looking her fiercely in the eyes.

"No Jack! I can sit!" She yelled wincing as she fought his grip and pain to sit.

He let her stubbornness go and searched for something to sit behind her. Finding her suitcase he set in up behind her. Taking some of the pillows and blankets lying around he nestled it between her back and the suitcase for comfort.

As he was becoming frantic in trying to make her comfortable Sawyer stepped in. Kate immediately looked up to him. His face covered in blood like Jack's from the fight. He was a little worse then Jack, but still his eyes cast down upon her in a lustful gaze to where his eyes were almost the hue of black. The look scared her. She didn't know why he was looking at her that way for.

Quickly and expected another pain struck her. Pulling Jack away from his search and towards her. He took her hand in his and roughly caressed it trying to help her through whatever this was the best he could, but her mind was stuck between a rock and a hard place and he could see it in her eyes as she took a deep breath. She stared up to Sawyer trying his best not to look to her. Neither could help it.

As the pain came to its strong point the three were surprised to see Charlie step in.

"Charlie?" Jack asked.

Charlie's attention turned from Jack and looked to Kate whose face was tensed and her muscles convulsed. She did her best to hold in tears of agony in.

"Just wanted to know if she was alright. Everyone's worried." He explained.

"Well she's fine. Just stomach pains." Jack pushed off turning back to Kate.

She wasn't fine and Charlie could certainly see that. If it was just stomach pains then Jack wouldn't need to be holding her hand helping her bear through the pain and why was Sawyer in there. Still with the explanation he took the hint and walked out leaving the three in the mist of loathing.

"She's not fine!" Sawyer exclaimed.

Kate looked up to him with wide eyes wondering what had suddenly gotten into him. Jack too looked back with narrow eyes. He stared as if he was trying to stare through Sawyer and find out what he was thinking.

"Why don't you tell her what you thinks wrong with her!" Sawyer ordered in rage.

Jack turned away looking to neither of them. He couldn't believe Sawyer was going to bring this up in front of her. Doesn't he think? This was going to hurt more then help her.

"Sawyer she doesn't need this right now." Jack warned looking back up to him with his own fury growing.

"Tell her Jack. She has every right to know." Sawyer said again trying his best to push Jack's buttons.

"Tell me what?' Kate asked looking back and forth between the two in worry.

She wanted to know what was going on. It seemed that everyone knew something that she didn't know and they were all trying their hardest to hide if from her.

"Sawyer not-"

"He thinks the baby's dead." Sawyer announced with an angry grin or more of a dimple pierced jowl.

Kate's eyes filled with tears as she looked to Jack who couldn't look at her. When he did raise his eyes to meet hers they too were filled with tears.

"I said I wasn't for sure Sawyer! There was no need to tell-"

"And you call yourself a doct-"

"Get out Sawyer!" Jack yelled over his shoulder.

Kate lowered her head in the shadows of the yelling. She couldn't take any of this. Especially the fact that her baby might be dead. This life that hadn't even been brought to this world yet. A life she never got to hold or treasure. She couldn't bear the thought. Even more the two possible fathers were fighting over whose fault it was.

"I don't think so Jack. Seems Kate might want me more then yo-"

"Get out Sawyer!" Kate screamed at the top of her lungs.

Both were surprised to see her so high strung, but she was just informed that the life inside her might be dead. She had every reason to act the way she was.

"Fine then…." Sawyer groaned as he turned and walked out the door without a word. He knew when he was unwanted.

As he shadow left the side of the tent Jack looked back to Kate who stared in an emotionless daze. No tears or whimpers. Just wide eyes upon the air.

"Kate…" He whispered setting his hand upon hers.

She turned and looked to him. For the first time she really looked at what Sawyer had done to him. His eye was swollen and bruised along with his busted lip that seeped blood.

"Here." She said grabbing a towel.

Gently she blotted his blood-covered skin trying her best to clean him up as her hand shook. She didn't like to see him like this, somewhat helpless in front of her. It tore her up to see how out of hand this all had become.

Dropping the towel to her bed she turned back. A small tear filled smile graced her face. It was hard to look to him without tears. Slowly she raised her hand to his beaten face bringing a comforting smile to his. Brining his hand up he placed it over hers grasping it in his. With his touch she couldn't take it anymore.

Her eyes gave up and let the tears trickle down her face. The feeling of crying and release was the best she had felt that day. All was bottled up and she couldn't play with herself anymore. As soon as she cried he started as well. He couldn't stand to see her cry. It hurt him to see her suffer in the slightest.

"Why…?" She cried to her self, brining her hand to cover her mouth.

Jack moved from his daze.

"Hey. Hey…it's ok." He tried to assure her as he sat next to her on the bed.

Sitting next to her she gave up. She fell into his arms sobbing almost uncontrollable. He just did what he could and wrapped his arms around her. Holding her close to him. She continued to cry as she rested her head on his shoulder praying for one time Jack was wrong. As she prayed she rested her hand over her stomach protecting it. Seeing her do this Jack moved his hand to lay over hers. Clutching it to her body tightly. And as well he prayed he was wrong, but his faith was small.


	12. Circumstances

_Sorry that's it's been so long. Thanks for being patient and always thanks for reading and reviewing! Anyways i hope you guys enjoy this! I was up all night working on it._**  
**

**Circumstances**

Tears still stung at Jack's eyes as he walked down the trail towards the caves. The night had fallen overhead and he had decided to make his way to check on Walt. He had stayed with Kate until she fell asleep in his arms. He didn't want to leave her like that without knowing. So he walked down the beach thinking that what he was doing was for Kate. He needed something to push him to walk into Sawyer's tent.

Smart-ass remarks were all that he got before he could opening his mouth. When he did, Sawyer shut up and seemed willing as he followed Jack over to Kate's tent. Both stood there watching her lay there in her sleep clutching to her stomach. Both lowered their head in what looked like sorrow when it was more of a prayer. A plead to whatever higher power had them here to please let the life inside of her be ok.

Pulling himself away as best her could, Jack put his trust and duties into Sawyer. The man who he had fought with from the beginning. The man who now possibly shared a life with this woman who lay before them. This woman he would do anything for. This woman he hoped carried "their" child.

Turning he headed out leaving Sawyer with a few words. Telling him she should sleep through the night, if anything serious should happen that he should come get him, and that he would be back later that night to check on her.

Now walking to the caves he remembered the words Sawyer uttered to him as he left him with Kate.

"She's gonna be ok."

Lowering his head, Jack continued on not realizing he was already in the caves. He was too concentrated on Kate and thoughts of the baby to pay attention to his own self.

"Man where the hell have you been?" Michael's voice questioned him.

Jack looked up not bothering to wipe away his tears or look of emotional exhaustion. Instantly he got a curious look for Michael and the others at the caves as they not only saw his tears, but the bruises and cuts from the Sawyer fight.

"You're not looking so good…" Michael commented as he backed away as Jack walked past him towards his stuff.

Everyone watched as he seemed distant and didn't acknowledge anyone. He just walked right past everyone to his stuff where he took off his backpack and laid it down. Unzipping it he began to search through for an unknown object. Unknown to even himself. He was just trying to put his mind off its impending thoughts. Not even the looming shadow of Locke pulled him away.

"Jack." He called.

Jack looked up to meet Locke's questioning eyes with his own fatigued from crying. He could tell Locke wanted to know what was going on. Glancing over his shoulder he could see everyone wanted to know.

"What happened?" Locke asked.

"What do you mean, "what happened?" Jack asked turning back to him stuff.

"Well after I went to the beach telling you Walt had collapsed-"

"In which he still needs to be looked at I might add!" Michael interjected.

Both Jack and Locke looked over their backs to see Michael standing behind them becoming very impatient. He went to say something else to Jack, but Locke raised his hand to stop him so he could get the facts strait. Jack turned back not wanting to hear anymore.

"I remember you going back to Kate who had fallen behind and looked to be in pain. You told me to head on Jack." Locke explained unnecessarily trying to get Jack to fess up.

Cause everyone knew especially Locke that something had gone wrong.

Jack lowered his head at the thought. Clenching his jaw he tired to hold back tears. Locke saw his reaction and knew what was wrong.

"Is there something wrong with Kate?" He asked.

Jack looked up with his eyes on the verge of tears. Again he looked over his shoulder to an impatient Michael who was more demanding silent then Locke was asking questions.

"She's fine.' He simply said as he turned and headed for the cave where he put the medical supplies.

He couldn't tell them what was really wrong. He could barely tell himself what was wrong.

"She just had some stomach pains, but she's fine and sleeping." He explained with an "end of discussion" feel as he slipped behind the cave walls.

Michael stood in anger that Jack was just walking away from the situation. Walt was lying over on the cot sicker then a dog and Jack was just pushing it off. He walked towards Locke heading for Jack to get some answers. As Locke saw him he put out his arms to stop him.

"Wait Michael don't." Locke warned trying to stop him.

Michael looked back in fury.

"No man! He isn't gonna just let Walt suffer because something happened to his girlfriend!" Michael protested pulling away.

"You can't act on your emotions Michael." Locke began calling Michael to a halt.

"We don't know what's going on, which there is something obviously going on or he wouldn't be acting this way. Let me go talk to him and see what happened." Locke tried to explain hoping Michael would back down and cool off.

He just stood there looking back and forth between Locke and the cave Jack had walked into.

"Let me talk to him. Go and sit with Walt." Locke said walking past Michael towards the cave.

He didn't even look back to see if he had listened. He really didn't care he was going to find out what was going on.

Walking in he saw Jack sitting before him. Slouched down with his head in his hands. He was really stressed about something and Locke knew it was Kate.

"Jack…" He called out barely above a whisper.

Jack picked his head up to see Locke come and sit next to him. He followed his every move with his eyes then he looked away seeing the intrigued look upon his face.

"Is she really alright?" He asked.

Jack sighed as he looked back to him.

"I guess." He answered lowering his head to his hands again trying to put his mind in Kate's tent on the beach to see how she truly was at that moment.

"And the child?" Locke questioned with a certainty of his subject in his voice.

Jack quickly looked back with surprise upon his face. A silence fall upon them as both questioned each other with stares.

"What child?" Jack asked with a furrowed brow.

"The child she is carrying. Your child." Locke answered with a confident smile

_My child. _Jack thought to himself. Did he really think it was his child? He wanted it to be. More then anything. But that wasn't the real question. How did Locke know she was pregnant?

"How do you know?" Jack asked breaking the silence between them.

"Well Jack it isn't hard to notice. She is of course gained weight and she eats more then anyone else. Plus she's glowing." Locke smiled.

Jack chuckled at the realization of it. She had gained weight. She does eat a lot more then everyone else and she glowed more then the sun. Well that was the way it she was to Jack. Turing away Jack wiped his hand across his forehead.

"What's really going on here Jack?' Locke asked leaning towards him.

Jack looked over wondering if he could truly confine in Locke. He had before when he thought he was going crazy. Although his advice didn't make much sense to Jack it was nice to have someone listen.

"I don't know what's going on anymore…" Jack began.

"Suddenly I am so scared of what's going to happen. With the baby and Kate. I question if either of them will make it through. And of course I have to tell Kate everything is ok so she doesn't panic…"

He looked to Locke with obvious fear in his eyes.

"I honesty don't know anymore." He finished with uncertainty in his voice.

Locke looked away as he stood up and over Jack causing Jack to stare up to him.

"Well Jack I think you need to go to her. Talk to her. Sit with her. Be with as much as you can to assure both of you.' He began as he resting his hand on Jack's shoulder.

"It's all gonna work out and you'll have a healthy baby. Kate will be fine. Just take it step by step. So go and be with her." He concluded with a smile as he turned and started out of the cave.

Jack sat there in thought of his words. He just basically told him what he himself had told Kate. They made him feel better as they did Kate, but did he believe them? He would have to push him too or he would end up a wreck.

Getting up and heading after Locke he decided he should head back to the beach and be with Kate. He now felt like he could handle this head on.

"Thanks." Jack said patting Locke on the back.

"Anytime Jack." Locke smiled as he walked away.

Walking out of the cave Jack was confronted by Michael waiting for him. Seeing him standing there he realized Michael felt the way he did, but to a different degree. He was worried about his child as Jack was about his. Or a child he hoped was his. He couldn't just leave him hanging.

Momentarily he pushed Kate to the back of his mind and went over to help Walt. Looking at his symptoms and listening to what Michael told him, he gathered that he simply had eaten something bad. What he ate was the real question. In turn Jack told him how to deal with it and that he would be better in a few days.

After, he went over and gathered his things as Kate and the baby entered his mind again. He wanted to go to the beach to check her, but was it too late? It was near midnight and he knew everyone was probably already asleep, but was Kate? He doubted it. She was probably sitting there worrying herself silly and Sawyer was probably sitting there making it ten times worse. He had to go and see her no matter the time. With that decision he threw his backpack over his shoulder and headed down the trail.

The moonlight and calming waves created a cool climate across the beach. Walking out into the sand from the trail Jack looked around to see his thought become the truth. Everyone was asleep. Fires were dimmed and tent tarps were drawn. Sounds of slumber filled the air brining a sense of calm to Jack's being.

Heading down the shore he looked to each tent wondering if anyone was left awake. To his surprise no one was. All were peacefully asleep or putting on the charade that they were. It really didn't matter which to Jack. He was out there for one reason and one reason only.

As he looked away his eyes came to Kate's tent. To his surprise she was awake. The tent was lit up by a small fire inside. Her silhouette was outline against the tent wall as she sat there obviously staring down at her stomach. Sawyer was oddly nowhere in sight of the firelight.

Getting closer, Jack turned away and glanced up the beach towards the trail where Sawyer resided. He didn't lie outside like normal and there was no light inside to show him off. Had he left her alone? After he told him to stay with her. Taking a deep breath he pushed it off letting it roll off his shoulders.

Turning back he saw her again. The shadow of her sitting there running her hand over her stomach brought a smile to his lips, but also brought the dreaded thought of what he hoped wasn't true. For a minute he sat there and watched her. Lowering his head he brought his hand to rest on the back of his neck. With a deep breath he pulled back the tarp and walked in.

She was unaware that he stood there watching her. Standing there no more then three feet away from her. It did his heart good to see her sitting there smiling for a change instead of crying.

"Hey." He said finally making himself known.

Her face changed as she looked over to him. She lit up.

"Hey." She smiled turning back to stare at her stomach again.

Her smile drew him over to her bed. She only looked away as he sat next her staring at her fingers waltzing over her stomach. She flashed him a lighthearted smiled then again turned to her stomach.

"What's with the cheery smile?" He asked looking to her.

She turned away and pursed her lips.

"I felt it." She announced.

Jack furrowed his brow with a crooked smile. He wondered if she was saying what he thought she was saying.

"Felt what?"

"The baby." Kate whimpered with tears of joy.

Jack's heart leapt up into his throat choking him up. He wanted to gather her in his arms and kiss her, but he knew that wasn't something he should do. He fought against it and instead took her hand.

"See I told you it was all going to be ok." He smiled.

"But you thought I had lost it?" Kate said looking Jack in the eyes.

"I said it was a possibility. Never said it was true." Jack explained.

Kate smiled weakly and looked away. Jack could see he had upset her. He wished he had stopped Sawyer. He wished more that he had never said anything about it.

"So what do you think was wrong?" Jack asked wanting to know what she thought.

She pursed her lips again as a gentle chuckle came from her lips.

"Honestly I think it was gas." She laughed looked back over to him.

He looked away licking his lips with a laugh. Sadly it made sense.

"Gas." Jack got out before he burst into laughter.

"What?" Kate asked lowering her laughter thinking he didn't believe her.

He didn't answer her. He just lowered his head in hands and laughed.

"You don't believe me do you?" She asked as she stopped honestly thinking he didn't think she was serious.

He shook his head as he faced her. Taking a deep breath trying to hold in his laughter he looked her in the eyes.

"No I believe you. It's just so obvious it's funny." Jack said with a chuckle.

"What's so funny?" Sawyer asked coming into the tent behind Jack.

Both looked up to him. He stood with questioning eyes and his brow furrowed. He wanted answers, but Kate wasn't really set on giving them to him just yet. Kate looked away and down to her stomach again.

"Nothings funny." She said trying to be serious.

Jack turned back to see her looking down to her stomach in an oddly serious manner. He question what had suddenly come over her. Then she shot him a look and a hidden smile telling him what she was doing.

Sawyer stood there looking back and forth between the two. When she said nothing was funny he almost believed her and thought Jack was trying to cheer her up or something. Then he saw Jack look over to her confused suddenly and her trying to hide her smile. Something was up.

"Ok there is something going on here and I wanna know now." Sawyer demanded pointing down to the ground.

Jack looked back over his shoulder to him and then back to Kate wondering how long she was going to pull him along. She nodded her head and looked up to Sawyer. He outstretched his arms waiting for an answer.

"You really wanna know?" Kate asked with a squinting stare.

Sawyer looked away rolling his eyes. Kate looked down to Jack and saw that he was trying his hardest not to bust out laughing. When she looked back up to Sawyer she could see he was loosing his patience.

"Of course I want to know. Especially if it has something to do with our baby." Sawyer said again emphasizing with his arms spread out.

Jack stared at him hard. What did he mean by "our" baby? He could have simply been referring to the concept of it being all three of their child, but somehow Jack leaned more towards the other way. The way he thought it was his child.

"Oh the baby." Kate said calling Jack's stare back to her.

She was looking up to Sawyer with pouty lips pretending to or trying to have an attitude. Jack could tell without even looking back that Sawyer's blood was boiling with this game.

"Well I'm sorry I don't know about any baby." She finished giving one of his own grins to irritate his skin from beneath.

She was playing it off well. It was kind of amusing to Jack, but she was being oddly bright. Still she deserved a laugh and had a right to play a few games after all she had been through that day and what she was going to go through in the next couple of months. Jack wished he could let all this roll off his shoulders. The island, the crazy people in jungle, now Kate's pregnancy, and not to mention the "thing" in the jungle that ate the pilot. Plus the normal people that were part of the 48 survivors of flight 815 that appointed him as leader.

Still, looking at her growing stomach and her "glow" as she tried not to laugh made him feel that much better and pushed him that much closer to being relaxed.

"Ok this isn't funny Freckles." Sawyer said with a chuckle as he ran his fingers through his hair.

"I wanna know what going on." He said as an almost plead in his eyes.

"Why didn't you ask Jack what's going on." Kate suggested getting an odd look form Jack.

She pushed him back to Sawyer with a wink. She was getting a little more then just fun out of this. Jack just let out a chuckle and turned back to Sawyer. He was immediately taken back as Sawyer came close to him. His breath was in his face a he tried to hold himself back from beaten the ever living snot out of him right in front of Kate. He knew it wasn't Jack that was playing with him, but he had a hand in it and he couldn't beat a woman. Especially a pregnant woman.

"Look Doc. You're guys little game your playing might be fun for you, but it ain't for me." He began with the same squinting stare Kate had given him.

"So you better spill the beans on the baby now cause I ain't afraid to beat the shit out of you again right here in front of her. K?"

Now it had gotten out of hand. Sawyer was threatening Jack and calling him doc. That vein in Jack's neck was bulging out and he looked ready to kick Sawyer's ass. It had gone on too far.

"Jack." Kate called stopping Jack as he began to get up.

He didn't look back to her trying to keep his guard up in front of Sawyer, but he could see the worried look now on her face out of the corner of his eye. Taking a deep breath he looked back to Sawyer trying hard not to look the bull in the eyes.

"The baby's fine." Jack sighed as he stepped back and sat next to Kate.

"The baby's fine." Sawyer repeated looking back and forth between the two.

"Yeah." Jack answered smiling as he looked back to Kate.

"And how do you know that?" Sawyer asked with a kinda attitude on his voice.

"You wanna tell him Kate?" Jack asked Kate who had lowered her head in somewhat guilt.

"I felt it. I felt the baby move." Kate said this time with no smile to seal the deal.

Sawyer's rage faded into a hint of joy.

"Yo..you felt the baby?" He asked coming closer to her.

"Yeah."

Silence fell upon them, as all felt right for a moment. Even know it was a short moment it did ease things up a bit.

"So then what was all that hoop la about this afternoon?" Sawyer asked.

Kate went to speak, but Jack stopped her with a shake of his head. She closed her mouth and let him get his fun in.

'It was gas." Jack announced.

Sawyer's face fell.

"Gas?" He questioned hardly believing the reality of the statement.

"Yep." Jack replied as he tried to hold his own laughter in hearing Kate having trouble concealing hers behind him.

"You have got to be shitting me." Sawyer groaned turning away with a roll of his neck.

Jack looked back to Kate seeing a huge smile on her face. He was glad to see it again.

"All this worrying over gas." Sawyer winded turning back to see Kate and Jack staring oddly at each other with huge grins on their faces.

He quickly began to question the honesty of this whole situation and she realized he had suddenly changed as she looked up to him. His face had turned to stone as he looked down upon Jack who started to her. Looking down to him again she motioned with her eyes for him to turn back to Sawyer.

"Why didn't you know in the first place?" Sawyer asked gritting his teeth.

Jack slowly turned around.

"Well it came on too strong it was hard to really what it was." Jack explained as he turned from Sawyer into a thought filled daze.

Sawyer looked away with a huff. He didn't know whether they were telling the truth or not, but he did know he wasn't in the mood to continue this so lat at night.

"Well ok then." He called out turning around.

"If the baby doesn't mind I'm going to head to bed." He announced.

"Nighty night there Freckles." He smiled walking past her.

"Doc." He said passing Jack with a obviously envious look.

With that he headed out. Leaving the two staring at the tarp flapping in the wind. It was oddly silent between the two now. Until Kate busted out in a quiet laugh. Jack looked back to her with a raised eyebrow. She glanced up to him and brought her hand to her mouth to cover mouth. Letting out another loud laugh she closed her mouth and tried her best to not laugh.

"Done?" He asked.

She nodded her head pursing her lips convulsing once more before she stopped.

"So what was wrong with Walt?" She asked turning serious.

"He ate something bad. Should be fine in a few days." He explained not displaying much enthusiasm on the thought.

Kate looked away trying to conceal her laughter again. It was just the look on Sawyer's face that got to her. She knew it was mean, but she couldn't help it. Jack on the other hand just couldn't get over the joyous feeling of knowing the baby was ok. It was a weight off his shoulders. And with that thought he was on his feet.

"Well I am gonna head back…" He announced standing over her.

The look she gave him almost made it heart breaking to leave, but he had to. He had to pull away.

"Now I don't want you to worry. Sawyer is here on the beach-"

"Jack I'm not worrying." She said taking his hand in hers.

"I'm fine. The baby is fine and I really don't think we need to be bothering Sawyer anymore." Kate said with a huge smile thinking again of the look on Sawyer's face.

Jack couldn't help, but smile too. It was pretty funny.

"Well then no matter if you are fine or not I want you to come and see me here in the next couple of days…" He began as he gathered his things.

"Cause it looks like I might be stuck at the caves for a while with Walt being sick."

"Will do Doc." She replied with a yawn readying herself for the sleep she needed.

He turned back and sat next to her. Looking her in the eyes he could tell he didn't have to worry. He didn't know how he knew, but he did. Leaning in he turned his face away from her.

"Goodnight Kate." He whispered leaving a kiss upon her cheek.

Pulling back he didn't bother to look and see her blushing smile, but he knew it was there. Leaning down over her he left and even gentler kiss upon her stomach.

"Goodnight." He whispered to the child inside of her like it was already there laying in her lap.

The emotions between the two were obviously worked up too much for either of them to look at each other without tears being spilt. So Jack simply got up without out and word and headed out. Kate sat there biting her lip to keep her from crying as she watched him walk out.

"Goodnight Jack." She whispered watching his shadow walk down the beach.

_I will have another chapter up in the next few days plus a new one for "Living.." i hate leaving you guys hanging on that one, but i swear i'll have some new stuff on that one in the next few days. I'm working on the outline of the third installment in that trilogy. I'm also working on a new story i told you guys about at the end of "Surviving...". The one with Locke's involvment with the others. With the seaon being over and after watching the finale i got the story idea togther for that story. It's name is going to be **Destiny's Existence**. Every chapter will be like an episode and it's full of drama and action. So anyways look for that in the next week. Hope you guys enjoy it and everything else i write. Again i thank all of you for reading! -: Sinorita :- _


	13. Rumors

_There isn't much drama in this, but i hope you guys still enjoy. As always thank you! Enjoy!_**  
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**Rumors**

"I'm fine Sawyer!" Kate huffed as she stopped walking.

She was on her way to the caves to see Jack for a checkup. It had been nearly two weeks since the "gas ordeal" and since she had seen him. Now she was on her way for that checkup she had promised to go to that night.

Looking back over her shoulder she saw him come out from behind the brush. She knew he had been following her. He had been like her shadow every since what happened.

"I know you are, but-"

"But what Sawyer?" She asked as he walked up to her.

"You've been following me for the last two weeks. Everywhere I go you're there. I can't even go pee without you peering over my shoulder.' Kate continued slowly putting herself into a rant.

"I'm just watching out for you and the baby. With the doc being all tied up at cave town someone has to do it." Sawyer explained trying his hardest to justify himself.

Rolling her eyes, she walked past him. She knew he was trying to help, but it was slightly annoying. It was really beginning to get on her nerves. Him thinking he had to follow her. Still she continued on the trail with him of course right behind her.

"Why are you out here anyways?" He asked hurrying up to her side.

"A checkup."

Sawyer became silent. She looked over to see his face distorted. He was thinking.

"What kind of checkup?" He asked with uncertainty.

"A baby checkup." Kate answered with a tone of obvious.

Sawyer didn't retort with another question like Kate expected. Instead he remained quiet as they walked along the path. The caves weren't any more then 200 yards in front of them. They could almost make out the tree-canopied entrance.

Still Kate's mind was on Sawyer's odd silence. She looked over to see that look again on his face. That look of thought. He was going to say something and soon, but for once he was thinking about it. Thinking about how to say or what to say for that matter.

It enthralled Kate that he was thinking about his words for once. She really didn't know why all the sudden he cared what came out of his mouth. He never had before. Never even considered it. Looking down to her stomach she had a good idea about the reason why.

"What does the doc exactly do at these checkups?"

Finally he spoke. She knew he was going to say something. With his words she began to question his motive instead of thought. Why did he care so much about her going to see Jack?

"He checks…things. To make sure everything is going ok." Kate answered gazing over to him.

"Like how?" He asked not quite satisfied with her plain answer.

She looked to him somewhat confused about where he was heading with this.

"I mean last week he said without machines and shiny gizmos he couldn't tell anything."

She had to chuckle at his "shiny gizmos" comment. He always had a way to make something simple Jack had said and turn into something out of a sci-fi story.

"Just tell me if it's like on TV where you put your legs up on something and he stares…. down there and come up with some weird thing off the top of his head?"

Was he serious?

"It's exactly like that Sawyer." Kate answered narrowing her eyes as she looked over her shoulder to him.

He gave her a look of disbelief. She knew he was starting to question her rather then her him.

"Are you serious?" He questioned.

"Yeah." She said nodding her head as she pursed her lips.

His face changed to a look of worry and then mixed with disgust.

"Everything?" He asked as his eyes became wide.

"Everything." Kate answered her face so compelled by her acting that he wouldn't second-guess her.

"Just peachy." He exclaimed sucking air through his gritting teeth.

Kate had to giggle at how this was affecting him. He was getting all bent out of shape about something he had no clue about.

"Well you asked." Kate pointed out.

"Asked about what?"

A new voice entered the tormented conversation. Both of them turned to see Jack standing in front of them. Looking back and forth between the two wondering what they were talking about. Kate questioned the same thing.

"Nothing." Kate smiled throwing Jack a look to tell him everything he needed to know.

"O…k." Jack said letting it go for the moment.

It became silent.

"Well she's all yours doc." Sawyer spoke up as if he were giving Kate away to Jack.

Kate looked back to him with a furrowed brow wondering what he had gotten into that had made him this way. Was there some magical bush she didn't know about?

"Thanks." Jack chuckled seeing Kate's reaction to the comment.

"Uhhh… See ya later Freckles." Sawyer stammered trying to find the right words to leave her with.

With that he turned around and began down the trail back towards the beach.

"Thanks for stalking me." She hollered after him.

For a second she stood and watched him walk away. She had to chuckle at how odd he was being over all this and how sudden it all came on. Maybe the scare of losing it turned something in him. Turning she came to see Jack with that same confused face Sawyer had had.

"What was that about?" He questioned as he unconsciously began to lead her through the caves.

"Oh he's all worried-"

"I'm worried too." Jack interrupted.

Kate glanced up to him herself now confused.

"When I said I wanted you to see me in a few days I didn't mean two weeks." He explained as a smile parted his lips.

Kate turned with a laugh. She knew she should have come earlier, but considering Walt being sick and probably taking up most of Jack's time she thought it best to wait. So she did.

"I promise it won't happen again." Kate jokingly sighed as they stepped into the dressing cave to do the checkup.

Pulling back the privacy tarp he led her to a stack of suitcases. Sitting down he helped her take off her shirt. As it fell to the ground he came around and knelt before her. She sat perfectly still as his eyes wondered over her stomach and soon the rest of her body. She just sat there watching him.

"How far along do you think I am?"

"Bout four months. Give or take a day." He answered looking up to her.

She suddenly felt nervous with his eyes.

"When do you think I'll have it?"

Slowly he got off his knees and stood before her. His face turned from assessment to thought.

"Seeing as how I don't have a calendar and time doesn't matter anyway. I'd say and this is just a guess. Five months." He smiled trying his hardest to be cute.

Kate couldn't help but smile at him making fun of her.

"Ha ha." She shot back rolling her eyes.

He continued laughing as he came and sat next to her. Turning he looked her strait in the eyes.

"The hormones kicked in yet?"

"Nope. Not that I know of."

"They will.' He assured her.

"Any swelling?"

"Not really, but my feet hurt a lot." She pointed out as her hand wondered down to her foot.

"And my chest is sore a lot and I've noticed they've gotten bigger."

"Well your feet are going to hurt. Your chest his hurting cause your breasts are getting bigger. Readying themselves to breast feed." He began to explain.

"Oh yeah forgot about that." Kate said in sarcasm as she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah. Unfortunately it's a choice you can't get out of here." Jack sighed remembering how Claire complained when she had nurse Aaron.

He stared off for a second thinking of Claire. How worn out and weak she was when she wondered back into the caves that night. She didn't remember a thing. None of them or what had happened. It was all a blank. She never did get her memory back.

"Where do they hurt?" He asked pulling from his thought.

"Right here." Kate pointed.

Jack looked to Kate for acceptance to touch her. Like he really needed it. She really didn't care. She liked when her touched. For medical reasons or not. His hands made her feel safe. As she nodded her head he raised his hand to touch her breast where she pointed that she had felt pain.

"Right here?" Jack asked applying pressure with his thumb.

"No here." Kate said putting her hand over Jack's.

As she did he glanced up to her. The look he gave her sent chills down her spine. He hadn't look to her like that since the night they had sex. Such a powerful gaze. Slowly she moved their hands down her breast to where she had pointed never breaking their stare.

"There?" He asked applying pressure to her skin causing her to jump.

Kate nodded as she swallowed hard. She didn't trust herself to form words. Still knowing where the pain was neither moved. She kept her hand on his as he kept his on her breast. Both staring intensely into each other's eyes.

"What in the hell…." A voice exclaimed and then suddenly went out.

They looked back to see Charlie standing there with his jaw to the floor. Neither had noticed him standing there. Dropping Jack's hand, Kate picked her shirt up off the floor and covered herself. Jack instantly stood up and walked in front of her. Charlie just stood there staring.

"It's not what it looks like." Jack exclaimed.

Charlie said nothing at first. Just stood there looking to Kate getting dressed and then back to Jack.

"Yeah it's not you two in the middle of foreplay.' Charlie stated as he began to head out.

Jack would've let him go, but knew it was time to let this cat out of the bag.

"Charlie wait."

"No you guys are making up. And I'm happy for the two of you." He quickly spat out trying his hardest just to leave.

"I was examining her." Jack proclaim with heavy exhale.

Charlie stopped and turned around. He and Kate both looked to Jack with curiosity of where he was heading. Charlie had no idea, but Kate did.

"Really didn't look like and exam. If they were like that I suppose more people would go to the doctor." Charlie joked stepping back into the caves.

"What's wrong with her?"

Kate held her breath waiting for Jack's answer as Charlie stared down to her. Jack looked back to her and signaled for her to come to him. She knew what he was going to do and she really didn't want to stop him.

"She's pregnant."

Charlie's eyes became wide as Kate walked up and stood by Jack's side. Then he burst into nervous laughter.

"Yeah ok."

"No I'm serious Charlie." Jack assured him.

He went silent again as he looked down to her stomach. Still she didn't show that much, but enough to tell him that his and Hurley's speculation was true.

"So the rumors are true?"

"What rumors?" Kate asked becoming defensive.

"People have been talking about how you've put on some weight and how odd you two and Sawyer have been for the past few months.'

"What peop-" Kate began before Jack stepped in.

"Look if anyone has any questions or anything else tell them to come to me." Jack instructed.

"So you're not gonna make me swear on my mothers life to keep this a secret?" Charlie asked seeing the look of Kate's face.

"Well it's time to get it out in the open." Jack sighed.

"Ok then." Charlie said.

With that he turned to spread the word.

"So you're just gonna let it out like that?" Kate asked as Jack turned back into the cave.

"You really think if I would have told him not to tell that he would've?" Jack asked gathering his things.

"I mean its Charlie. Just look at how fast us sleeping together spread."

After that Kate retreated back to the beach. And like Jack said words spread. Everybody knew, but no one said anything. They all looked down upon like she was poison. The same way Sawyer had in the beginning. Like she had all done something to them. Even now he looked to her with question.

The sun fell and the moon came up. The survivors all gathered around the bon fire. Some eating. Others talking. All of them looked to her for some explanation, but she had none to give. She just turned upon their stares and ate in silence as she watched the flames dance before her.

A sudden commotion caught her attention. She looked up to see if they had drawn their torches. Instead she saw Jack and a few others from the caves. Of course like he had said everyone came up asking questions. Kate couldn't hear all of them, but she knew they were all about her.

Watching him an odd feeling of nervousness came over her. She went back to the caves and how they had gotten so into the moment that they didn't even notice Charlie watching them. Why had something so innocent as a checkup turn into a circus of feelings between the two? Would they have gone further if Charlie hadn't entered? It was too late to tell. Now she'd never know.

More staring pulled her away from her daze with Jack. They all had looks of disgust as they walked past her. They whispered to each other gossiping. Some even talked of Claire. Kate turned back to the fire with her name. Worry soon came over her. She thought back to when they had first crashed and how no one wanted to be around Claire, but Charlie. He didn't care. He loved her.

Soon her thoughts turned to Jack and how he was sort of like Charlie to her. He didn't care what the others thought. Then she thought to how he was on the edge the whole time Claire was still pregnant. Watching over her. Making sure she was all right and comfortable. Then that fateful day came when she was kidnapped. They had all feared the worst. But as Charlie said she would come back and she did.

She was only back a week before she had given birth. A beautiful baby boy named Aaron. Nothing was the same after that. If you even consider the day-to-day living on an island the same as any other day.

She died from exhaustion early after giving birth to Aaron. The kidnapping put a strain on her body and mind. She wouldn't let the child out of her sight for a second. That poor child screamed for his mother until he just gave up. And Charlie left that on his shoulders for weeks. He begged her to sleep. Her body was just too weak.

Everybody changed after that. They started thinking. Why hadn't she? Why hadn't Jack? They had sex completely unprotected. She would've thought herself to be wiser. And she knew Jack should've said something. Were they that caught up in the moment? Then there was Sawyer. There was no doubt in her mind that protection never even popped into his mind.

Lowering her head she looked to her stomach now in plan view and thought to all around her. She thought to herself as she gazed over it.

How could she have been so stupid to of let this happen?

Quickly a shadow came over her and she became sick to her stomach. She looked up thinking someone had the guts to talk to her. Instead there was Jack with his warming smile. That feeling came about again. He sat as she turned her stare to the others and then the fire again. He remained quiet.

"They're staring." She announced in a hushed tone turning to him.

He turned to her with furrowed brow.

"Of course they're going to stare." He said glancing down to her stomach she ceased to hide.

"Yeah word spread fast." She said placing her hand over her stomach.

As she did everyone seemed to look to her. Watching her like hawks.

"I feel so bad."

"Why?" He questioned.

"I'm now this burden to the-"

"You're not a burden to anyone.'

"Sure Jack." She said shaking her head in sarcasm.

"That's all I've ever been since we found out. A burden."

"Not to me." He said.

"You can't honestly look at me and tell me that you've never felt burdened by this.' Kate challenged pointing to her stomach.

Jack looked away telling Kate all she needed to know. She was a burden. Even to him.

"You're not a burden." He said turning back to her.

"You never have been and never will be. You might be to Sawyer and them…" Jack continued glanced to Sawyer watching with the others across the way.

"But not to me. I'm with you 100 whether you like it or not." He finished.

She sat there in silence staring at him.

"You mean that?" She questioned.

"Every word." He assured her.

He was telling her the truth. He meant what he said. She could see it in his eyes as they glittered with the firelight. He was with her more then anyone else on this island. More then any one else had been.

"Thank you." She smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Your welcome." He muttered against her shoulder as he pulled her close.

Holding onto him Kate closed her eyes as he rubbed his hand over her back. His hands made her feel safe. Being in his arms made her forget about the others around them and all their questioning stares. She just wanted to sit there as long as possible without anyone interrupting them.

"Jack." Michael voice came from behind him.

Unwillingly the two pulled apart. Both had smiles on their faces as they looked to each other. They turned and looked to see Michael waiting for Jack. Charlie stood in front of him with an uneasy smile on his face. The words had spread further.

"I guess I have to go and explain." Jack sighed rolling his eyes.

"I'll see you later."

Leaning in he left a kiss on her cheek. Pulling back he flashed her a smile causing her heart to flutter. Then he got up and walked off towards Michael leaving her in a daze. She just sat there watching him walk off not caring of the others staring. She felt so much better after what he had said. He was behind her no matter what.

Soon her daze broke as Charlie came walking up. His smile had dropped. Instead he tried his best to look at her, but it seemed hard. She turned and tired to make it easy for him to walk over. He was a silent as Jack was as he sat down next to her.

"So…"

She looked over to him seeing that it was again hard for him to look at her. He glanced between her and the fire.

"Charlie.' She smiled hoping to make him comfortable.

"Kate." He smiled back.

She could see her smile had lightened him up and bit, but he was still holding back.

"How many people did you actually tell?" Kate asked her smile still played on her lips.

He looked away with a chuckle.

"Well there was Sayid and he told Shannon. Sun and she told Jin. And then…" He continued counting all he told and their confidants on his fingers.

Kate had to laugh at his honesty. She didn't mind him telling anyone. It really didn't bother her. It was the way those he told acted to the news. He turned to see her laughing and he had to laugh. The awkward feeling he had had only moments ago faded.

"I'm really happy for you and Jack.' He said becoming serious.

Kate lowered her head blushing. It wasn't the heat. It was again his honesty.

"Thank you Charlie."

"You're quite welcome." He smiled.

"I want you to know I'm here for you."

Kate again began to blush. He was being too sweet to her.

"And if I tell you to sleep you're going to sleep." He warned her pointing his finger in her face.

"I will." She smiled.

Kate looked away as thoughts of Claire reentered her mind. She thought he too would start thinking. Instead he looked over her shoulder to see Hurley emerge with Jin. Hands full of fish. Kate turned seeing Charlie stare.

"Best go tell him. He's been with Jin all day so he has no clue." Charlie joked getting up.

"Good night."

"Good night Charlie."

With a wink he headed off after Hurley. Kate watched him like she had Jack, feeling the same sort of comfort, but to a different degree. He trotted up to Hurley and began to talk. Soon Hurley's eyes became wide. Laughing, Kate just simply waved telling him it was ok. He left her with a thumbs up as he and Charlie walked off to situate themselves among the group.

Turning she searched to the crowd for Jack. As she scanned the faces she realized everyone was there. Every survivor sat there that night all together on the beach like they had the first night they crashed. They hadn't all been together like this in more then six months. Seeing this brought a smile to her lips. It was an unofficial celebration of finding out she was pregnant.

Coming to the end of the crowd there he stood talking. Quickly Kate realized he was talking to Sawyer. Her face dropped as she watched them. Waiting for punches to be thrown or yells to break everyone's stare with her. Instead they stood calmly talking to each other. Kate even saw smiles. This slightly scared her. The two fathers of her child standing there having a normal conversation. There had to be something in the boar. Still it being odd it gave Kate a sense of relief knowing they could stand next to each other and talk without a fight. Maybe if they could do that they could raise a child.

Again her daze was broke as Sayid and Shannon came walking up. He seemed more willing as she looked like she was being drug to her death. But they both came walking over to her with smiles on their faces.

"Kate…" He began pulling Shannon to his side.

"We want to be the first to congratulate you." Sayid smiled.

"Sorry, but you're the second." Kate announced.

His face dropped. He quickly furrowed his brow in a question of whom.

"Well the third actually. Charlie came over here and Hurley gave me a thumbs up."

"Whatever number in line I wanted to say I'm happy for you." He smiled again.

"Thank you." Kate smiled back looking to Shannon.

She waited for her to say something, but doubted it would happen. It became awkward as she waited. They just stood there. Obviously Sayid was waiting too. Kate saw that she seemed to be entranced with her stomach. Her eyes never moved from it. She was thinking of something to say.

"Whose the father?" She asked.

Sayid was the one to become offended. He looked back to her cursing her under her breath. She fought him back wining under hers.

Kate looked away and over to Jack and Sawyer who still held a non-violent conversation. That was a question Kate didn't have the answer to. She didn't know if she ever would. Maybe once the child grew up they could tell from looks. Still it was a good question that even boggled Kate's mind.

Who was the father?

Claire did die, but Boone is still alive. I killed her off to add the scared feeling to everone.


	14. Undesired Feelings

I fianlly got around to writing this. :) Hope you guys enjoy it as much as i did writing it. And thanks to all of you for reviewing. You are the true reason i write!**  
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**Undesired Feelings**

Their feet scattered across the jungle floor. Both searching it closely. Him in front and her lagging some ways behind. With the extra baggage of being five months pregnant she couldn't keep up like she used to.

"What are we doing out here anyway?" Sawyer groaned looking to her behind him.

She walked around the area behind him as he stopped. Looking closely at the ground.

"Sun said there is more of that herb I've been taking to get rid of morning sickness out here."

"I thought you were over that?" He questioned still watching her comb the grass and brush.

Slowly she stood up and took a deep breath to regain her strength.

"I was, but it came about again…" She began to explain as she squatted back down.

"Jack said it could be caused by heat or just the fact that my system isn't used to boar yet."

"Oh yeah the doc knows everything doesn't he?" He questioned throwing a twig he had been playing with off into the distance.

Glancing up to him with raised eyebrow she stood and placed her hands on her hips. He could tell the "doc" comment had pissed her off, but it was the truth. Jack was trying to run this show and Sawyer was beginning to feel left out. Not that he didn't enjoy the walks out into the middle of nowhere, he just wondered why Jack couldn't be the one whose tent she came into in the middle of the night when she couldn't sleep. All Jack did was tell him what to do.

"What does this herb look like any way?" He questioned to change the subject in his mind.

"Umm…green or like a yellow…." She said not paying much attention to what she was saying, but more so to what she was doing.

He looked back to her now with his own brow raised.

"You have no idea what we're looking for do you?"

She shot up catching his grinning daze.

"Yes I do." She insisted trying not to look directly at him.

"Sure."

"I do!"

"What ever." He sighed turning away from her back to his search for the green or yellow herb thing.

As he went back to looking Kate began to do her own, but not for the herb. She was looking at Sawyer. Standing there she just causally checked him out like she had done many times before. There was no harm in it. At least she thought there wasn't.

Slowly, odd but familiar feelings came about. Creeping up her spine. Watching him walk around in those tight jeans that fit so tight and right on his body. She just stood still eyeing the way his body moved. She barely noticed how turned on she was getting, until he looked back to her over his shoulder. The moment she was hit with those eyes she felt it come head on.

Her body froze as her mind went on at a thousand miles per hour. Going back to that one night they shared together. The night that ended what her and Jack had, but started a new bond between the three of them. She remembered how his breath felt upon her neck and his stubble across her cheek. Quickly she began to question what was happening. At first she thought these were feelings she had left over for him, but soon she realized this was lust.

They must have been the hormones Jack was talking about, she thought. He said they would come along. But never did he say they would come on this strong, fast, or sudden.

"You coming Freckles?" He asked as his stare turned to question.

Her mind came up with so many meanings for what he asked. Many dirty of course. She couldn't believe at that moment how she was feeling. She had to answer.

"Uhhh yeah…" She stuttered looking away and out of both their dazes.

Looking away she felt as if she was clear from her thoughts, but as she looked over her shoulder to him they came on twice as hard as before. It began to bother her. There should be no feelings for Sawyer. She only had feelings for Jack. Biting her lip she turned back and tried to find an excuse for why she felt his way.

"You're pregnant."

"It's only hormones."

"It's lust not love."

Taking a deep breath she tried to clear her body and mind. Closing her eyes all she saw was Sawyer. Pushing them open she knew she had to get away. Her eyes wondered around and looked for an escape. An idea popped into her head. It was a long shot, but it might work. If it didn't she'd be cornered.

Quickly she went of running into the jungle hoping to get good ways away before he realized she was gone.

"Freckles." He called turning around only to see her dashing off into the woods.

His only thought was that that damn jungle monster had sprang up and sent her packing. He guessed he had been to busy looking for some imaginary herb to hear it.

"Where you going?" He questioned as he headed after her.

"I think I found it." She yelled back not even slowing down.

She had made it to the beach in record time.

Coming out onto the sand she stopped to catch her breath that escaped her. Bending over she grabbed onto her knees for support. Taking a deep breath she looked behind herself searching for Sawyer. He was nowhere in sight. She was thankful she had gotten away.

Regaining her breath finally she stood up and scanned the beach looking for Sun. When she was at the caves for her checkup before the search Sun had told her she'd be out on the beach cutting up what she had left of the herb. Luckily Sawyer had no idea. She had sent him running into the woods saying she had found it when she hadn't. This would be a good enough cover to get her by.

Looking over towards the more shady part of the beach she spotted Sun talking with Jin and Michael. She had the bag filled with the herb in hand. Kate headed across the beach towards them hoping for an alibi.

"And how are we doing?" Michael asked as Kate walked up.

"Good." Kate smiled rubbing her stomach as she turned to Sun.

"I couldn't find any more out there."

"Well Jack said there is probably enough until you get over this, but that we should still look for some more." Sun explained as the two men walked away from the pregnancy talk.

"I just got a little tired and couldn't think strait out there, I'll try again in a couple days."

The two walked over to some airplane seats sat directly under some palm trees. The sun was becoming more and more aggravating to Kate. She could barely stand to be in it for more then a few minutes. So the strategically placed seats in the shade were a perfect resting spot.

As the two sat down Sawyer came rushing up out of breath. Nearly startling Kate.

"Damn Freckles…"

"I knew you were going to bolt off into the jungle like that I would've let you go alone." He breathed trying his hardest to catch his breath.

He was almost in the same boat as Kate. With her being pregnant it took her a bit longer to catch her breath and a bit a quicker to loose it. Sawyer had problems simply because of his dirty habit he had been addicted to since he was twelve. The second thing they had in common. Being winded. It was only second to being criminals.

"Well sorry…" Kate apologized keeping her eyes off him knowing how they were working that day.

Instead she focused on her and Sun dicing the herb into small pieces for her to eat. Hopefully he'd get the hint and leave her alone.

"Damn." He breathed again still not caught up.

She only glanced up to him as his shadow left her as he started in the other direction towards his tent.

"Catch you breath." She called after him turning back.

It was silent between the two women. Kate knew Sun had to be questioning her odd conversation with Sawyer, but luckily she wasn't the type to question anything between her and Sawyer.

"So how are you doing?" Sun finally asked.

"Good."

"How far along?"

"Jack says about five months, but it feels like five years." Kate joked.

"Jack…" Sun began.

"How is he dealing with this?"

"Extremely well. I honestly think he wants to be a father." Kate cooed.

"And Sawyer? How is he handling it?" Sun continued asking.

Kate's mind began to wonder about her feelings for Sawyer again. So much that it delayed her answer.

"Not as well as Jack. He makes it out as a burden, but he's done better then I thought."

"If you don't mind me asking. Who do you think the father is?'

Kate stopped and glanced up catching her eyes. She had only asked herself that question in the beginning. Every since the two had been there head on. Well every since Jack had and Sawyer tried, she never let it into her mind. She really didn't know.

"Honestly I don't know." Kate answered.

"I mean I know both of them will be there. Hopefully. But as long as I have them there to support me I don't care. None of us will know until it grows up to look like one of them or we get off this island. Most likely the first."

Sun had to smile at how Kate's response came so naturally. She didn't even seem to think about it. It just came out of her like she knew it was true.

After her words Kate became oddly silent and a bit discontent. She was thinking about Sawyer again. Still it aggravated her. Ate at her mind and body. She fought with herself about what she should do.

"Are you ok?" Sun questioned trying to get Kate look up to her.

"Yeah it's just…." Kate groaned.

"What?" Sun asked pressuring her.

Kate put down her knife and looked up to Sun with pleading eyes.

"Promise not to tell Jack?" She asked.

"Yes of course." Sun assured her.

"I was checking out Sawyer today." Kate announced.

"And it wasn't innocent playing with his mind crap. I was getting turned on and everything…."

Sun hung onto her eyes word with wide eyes, but stayed silent.

"I think it's just the hormones that are coming on with me being pregnant…" She continued.

"Jack said I would have them, but he never said they'd come on like they did. I mean it was fast and strong." Kate finished looking to Sun with a surprised look upon her face.

"Well did you say anything to Sawyer?"

"Yeah…" Kate laughed sarcastically.

"His head would get so big we could all float away from here. Then he would torture Jack with it and I couldn't do that to Jack."

"Maybe you try to discuss it with him and tell him how you honestly feel. Maybe he'll act maturely. "Sun suggested.

"Maybe…" Kate sighed rolling her eyes as the thought of Sawyer acting mature.

Kate had spent the rest of her day in her tent. Either cleaning or tidying up. Anything to keep her mind off Sawyer. She thought about baby proofing her tent then let the thought go. Frankly she didn't know how to baby proof and especially didn't know how to do it to a tent. Plus she knew Jack would ultimately take care of it.

Nightfall came over closing yet another day upon the island.

Kate lay on her makeshift bed made out of the airplane seats, staring up at the top of her tent. She was thinking about all that had come about that day. Sun's question of Jack and Sawyer's involvement, the question of her feeling's on the father, and her lust of Sawyer. Mostly she thought about the ways she had been around Sawyer. Staring at the blue material hanging about her she couldn't think of anything else.

When she realized it was night she realized she was hungry. A sudden light along the side of her tent caught her attention. Looking over she saw the early flames of a fire that had been built no more then twenty feet from her tent. Watching it she came to see a silhouette of somebody walking around it. Focusing more on it she realized it to be Sawyer's.

Sighing she began to think about how he had left things with him and how Sun said to talk to him. Maybe she could. Maybe he wouldn't take it so personal. Maybe…

Pushing her bemused thoughts she got up. Stepping outside her tent she looked out over the ocean. The water was oddly calm. A breeze came up and wrapped around her sending chills down her spine. Turning back into the tent she walked over to her bed and picked up her blanket. Wrapping the blanket around herself she headed out onto the beach.

Walking across the sand she saw him sitting there in front of the fire. Eating all by himself. She thought about her actions for a second. Should she go over or go back into her tent?

"It wouldn't hurt." She thought.

Making her decision she headed over.

"Mama-cita!" He called with a grin as she came over.

Looking away blushing she sat down on the log next to him.

"Now am I gonna need Blondie's puffer? Or are you gonna stay put this time?"

"I'm staying put. Too late for a run." Kate joked.

"Good cause I ain't going after you into the magical forest after dark."

Both turned to the fire becoming silent. She stared off into the flames hoping her feelings wouldn't act up in that moment. He called her attention to him as he handed her a piece of boar. She looked to it still sickened by it, but it was Doc's orders. Sighing she took it.

"Thanks." She smiled meekly.

"Of course. Gotta feed the momma." He smiled back grinning ear to ear.

That smile got her. It sent her mind into a whirlwind of feelings. Feelings she didn't want. Feelings that were trying to over power her and make her give in. She had to turn her mind.

"I was wondering…" She began trying to think of question to ask him.

"What's your middle name?"

He turned to her with wide eyes.

"Don't you wanna know my real name first there Freckles?" He questioned with a chuckle.

"No I'm serious. What's your middle name?" She asked again with an inviting smile trying to ease him up.

He sat silent for a moment staring at the fire. It seemed as if her was trying to make up a name.

"Timothy." He blurted out.

"Timothy?" She questioned with a laugh.

"Yeah! So What!" He exclaimed becoming defensive.

"When you're born in the south you get names like that. Hell every other dame down there is names Lynn.' He went on trying to explain.

"Sorry I asked." Kate turned rolling her eyes.

"Don't be."

"I'm just a little odd when people ask about my name. You don't always know who you're talking to. Things might slip out and you might get caug-"

"Come on Sawyer it's me." Kate stated raising her brow.

He looked over to her with an intrigued grin.

"That's right. You were on the run too there Freckles."

"Thanks for pointing it out." She snickered turning back to the fire.

"How do I know "Kate" is your real name?"

"How do you even know anything when you never call me by it?" Kate threw up.

"Can't help it." He smiled.

"I just saw those pretty little freckles of yours and couldn't resist." He laughed poking her in the nose with his finger.

Kate bust into laughter trying her hardest to get out of his reach. It seemed a little hard with a pregnant stomach in your way. He had clear shot of anywhere he wanted to poke. And he did.

As her laughter quieted over the beach he pulled back with another grin from ear to ear. She sat up and stopped her laugh abruptly. Seeing him there sent her mind back into the gutter. That smiled was antagonizing her. It knew what was going on in her mind.

He began to talk, but she couldn't hear him. Her mind blocked out the sound as she stared at his lips. She stared at them with intensely. Watching each movement as they spoke words she didn't hear. Quickly her breath became caught in throat as her mind pushed her again. Pushed her to make a move. A move to satisfy her.

"Are you ok Freckles?" He questioned.

She only heard "ok Freckles." That's all her mind let her hear. It was if he was giving her clearance to move. And move was what she did.

Leaning forward she didn't take the time to glance up at him. She just went for it. Placing her lips over his she kissed him. Holding them there for a second she waited for his to kiss back. When he did she sucked in the breath that escaped him.

Placing her hands between them, she balanced herself as she deepened the kiss. Taking all of him in. Sucking on his bottom lip she tried to persuade him to open his mouth, but he wouldn't. In his rejection she began to question.

Is this what I want?

She had not time to answer as Sawyer's hands came up pushing her back. It was a gentle push, but enough to push her away. Enough to get her attention.

"What the hell Kate?" He questioned wiping his mouth.

With his words she looked up to him. His eyes questioned her. They dance with uncertainty as she stared into them.

Her body began to shake. She was trying to comprehend what had happened. Soon a new question came flooding her mind.

"What have I done?"

**Authors Note:** Sorry for the lack of Jack in this chapter. I will totally make up for it in the next. This chapter is part of a two part thing like i did early on. One is on the Sawyer and the other Jack.

Anways to those of you reading "Living Past Seclusion." I will defenantly have a new chapter up by Friday. It's jus that it's a long chapter. I mean really long. Might be longer than the second chapter. I also change the ratingto M because I realized it is going to get a little graphic in all parts.Sorry for the inconveince. So anyways i will have that up in the next day so i don't leave you hanging.

As always thank you for reading! ;) -: Sinorita :-


	15. Desired Feelings

_Thanks for all you're review for the last chapter. I was iffy about it and glad you enjoyed it. I am kinda iffy about this chapter too and hope you enjoy as always. Warning there is some sex in this chapter. Nothing you guys haven't read from me before, just wanted to warn you in advance ; ) Hope you Enjoy as always and can't wait to hear what you all think. : )_**  
**

**Desired Feelings**

Sun beat down on her bare legs as she sat in the opening of her tent. Her mind was swirling of thoughts as usual, but these thoughts hadn't plagued her mind in a while. Regret. Regret of her actions she had taken with Sawyer. The kiss that lasted too long. The kiss that shouldn't have been in the first place.

Sawyer had gotten up after that and walked back to his tent. Looking over his shoulder occasionally to see her still sitting there. Sitting there in shock as everyone on the beach watched in dismay. She sat frozen for a moment as she looked around to their faces. Quickly she snapped out of it and ran to her tent.

No sleep came that night. Only tears. Tears of memory. The memory of how this had ended up last time. Jack finding out and completely erasing her. She couldn't afford to have him push away now. Not with the baby. She wouldn't make it.

Then she began to wonder how Sawyer felt. It was weird that he pushed away. She didn't expect that. She really didn't know what to expect from him anymore. He wasn't predictable.

Lowering her head she looked to her stomach. She rested her hand upon it as she sighed. This had gotten her into so much trouble.

Was it worth it?

Was it worth screwing up the lives of those she loved along with her own?

She suddenly began to question this life growing inside of her. She always thought she'd get married and have a baby with the man she loved. But the man she loved was dead. Now she had these two men who she had obviously had feelings for.

Did she love them?

Sawyer was a difficult person. He had his rough and rugged side, but he also had that sweet side. That personal side that only came out when he read that letter. That side Kate had tapped into the day Jack had caught her in his tent. Sawyer was Sawyer. Simple as that. And she didn't know if she wanted a Sawyer. She had had a Sawyer. Tons of them.

Did she really want her heart broken again?

Jack was completely different from Sawyer. Yet was so much like him. They could have been brothers separated at birth. They just went down separate paths. Jack chose the path of saving lives. He was good natured and kind. He was the type of man who was taught to treat a woman right. Not that Sawyer wasn't it was just that he used them for his own will. Jack set women as equals.

That was how Kate felt. She was Jack's equal. She felt one with him. Whether it was just talking to him or having sex with him.

Kate looked up to the surf and began seeing images of her and Jack lying there. They way they had been that night. In each other's arms. Making love. His hands on her body warming her skin with his touch. His lips cursing their way over her chest.

Soon she became fluster with the thoughts and the feeling that she had with Sawyer crept up on her. As more images came on the feeling came on stronger. It became uncomfortable sitting there. Moving to another position it only got worse. Again she moved and again it came on stronger. Every way she moved she became agitated.

What the hell was wrong with her?

Just just looking at the sand was turning her on. There had to be something wrong with her. This couldn't be just hormones. It had to be something else.

Looking out across the beach she glanced to each person watching what they were doing. Maybe they could get her mind off of these feelings and images taking over her body. But it didn't help. She needed to do something and quick.

She needed to see Jack. Maybe seeing him would get it out of her system. If she could just talk to him maybe he could help her with what to do. He was the doctor he had to have some idea.

Getting up she turned back into her tent. Grabbing her backpack she stuffed some water bottles in it. Throwing it over her shoulder she headed back out onto the beach. Rushing past everyone who still stared at her with question from the night before she made her way to the trail and headed to the caves. Headed to see Jack.

Ducking under the growing vive canopy she immediately spotted him. Over in the corner going through supplies like always. She stood there for a while watching him go about what he was doing. Just admiring the way he walked and moved.

She felt oddly different about Jack then did when she watched Sawyer. With Sawyer it was utter lust and with Jack there were feelings involved. Not that she didn't have feelings for Sawyer. Of course she did, but they were so minimal that they could never end up as anything. She didn't want to be with Sawyer.

With Jack there were definite feelings. They were obviously there. She would have never slept with him without hesitation if there weren't any. Otherwise she wouldn't have been so broken up when she slept with Sawyer and she wouldn't have punished herself the way she did. She wanted to be with Jack.

She quickly broke from her daze as Hurley walked past her.

"You ok?" He asked.

"Yeah." She answered licking her lips with nervousness as she headed over to Jack.

She approached him cautiously. Like an animal approaching it's prey. Not wanting to scare it. Coming up behind him she swallowed hard preparing herself to talk. But she spooked him. He turned around and stood up strait looking to her surprised.

"I need to talk to you."

"Yeah?" He asked encouraging her to continue as he quickly put some things away.

Kate stood frozen not knowing what to say. How was she supposed to tell him she was turned on by everything? It wasn't something easy to just let out. And once she began to explain she'd have to tell him about Sawyer, if he already didn't know. This was harder then she thought.

As thoughts hurled in hurled in her mind she found herself watching him again. Her eyes traveled down over his shoulders and down his arms focusing on his hands. Becoming entranced with the way his fingers moved. That feeling came on again.

"Kate what did you want to talk about?" Jack asked turning around to see her standing with her legs crossed as she bit her lip.

Seeing him she shook her head again pushing away from her daze.

"What?"

"What did you want to talk about?" He asked again.

"Nothing.' Kate replied rolling it off.

Suddenly she didn't feel right talking to Jack about this. She turned away from him and tried to get her mind off of it.

"Kate…" He sighed turning her back to him.

"I know it isn't nothing."

Kate looked away with a sigh. She was really wondering whether or not to tell him what she was going through. The look he gave her pushed to say something.

"Remember when you asked my hormones and I said I wasn't having any?"

"Yeah…" He replied with a raised eyebrow.

"Well I have them now and they're strong." She emphasized with wide eyes.

Jack looked away with a laugh; Kate didn't see it as funny. She wondered why he was laughing.

"Oh so that's why you kissed Sawyer?"

She blinked her eyes only to realize that that was exactly what he asked. She wasn't dreaming.

"What?" She question backing away from him.

She was preparing herself what he might do. She was slightly afraid.

"Word travels fast Kate." He said with a laugh.

Was his laugh from amusement or anger?

"Yeah…." She sighed looking away.

She felt broken by his laughter. She didn't know what to make of it. Did he think she was using the hormones as an excuse for what she did? She really didn't know. She really didn't know if she was really making it up. Did she mean to kiss Sawyer?

He became silent as he pulled away and began doing other things. This time she didn't watch him. She didn't have the guts to.

"So what do you want to do about this hormone problem?"

She looked up catching an honest glare from him.

"What do you mean?"

"Obviously the hormones have it you hard. I mean Sun told me how you were thinking about Sawyer yesterday…"

Her eyes became wide. How could she? She had told her in the strictness of confidence.

"And I could see by the way you were watching me a few minutes ago while you bit your lip that you weren't just watching by habit." He smiled.

She looked away blushing. He had caught her.

"What am I supposed to do?" She questioned.

She wondered what idea he had working up. Every time she wondered that it turned out in her favor. Like that night at the beach.

"Well I coul-"

"Hey Jack." Charlie calked walking up to the two.

"Michael needs your help out on the beach."

"With what?" Jack asked.

"Did say. He just told me to come get you."

"Alright." Jack said as Charlie headed on his way.

Jack sighed as he turned back to Kate. She had her head lowered knowing she wasn't going to get anywhere that day.

"Look we'll finish this later tonight ok?"

"Ok.' Kate smiled.

Jack smiled back as he kissed her on the cheek. Leaving her with that he gathered his things and headed off down the trail to the beach.

Kate stood stunned. She brought her hand to her cheek. Brushing her fingertips over it she felt butterflies work up in her stomach. The feeling she had fluttered away with them as she took a deep breath. She wondered what he meant by "we'll finish this". He had something worked up in his mind and she knew it had to be good.

Spending the day alone wondering around the jungle near the caves and beach was calming for Kate. It freed her mind of all the thoughts that had been worked up over the last few days. She wondered aimlessly taking in the scenery that was now her home.

By nightfall she had made it to the outskirts of the beach.

She kicked up the sand as she walked along the surf looking out onto the black night. Seeing the stars sparkle reminded her of how Jack had said she was beautiful. That seemed so long ago yet still it was a lasting memory. A memory of her new life. A life that had started with a plane crash.

Coming along the camp she slowly made her way towards her tent. She was unnoticed in her own little world, but in the real one everyone watched her. All staring up from their dinner watching her walk across the beach in a daze. Not knowing what awaited her.

Walking up to her tent she did hear the breath was that was heavy inside. Pulling back the tarp it took her a minute to see his shadow. It wasn't until she stepped in and the tarp fell behind hind that she saw him. Seeing him sitting there on her bed sent her back in fright. But as she realized it was him she stood still.

"Jack?"

He just stared up at her without words.

"What are you doing in here?" She questioned still jolted.

"I told you we'd finish what we started at the caves."

She watched him over her shoulder as she walked over and sat her backpack down on the ground next to her bed. Silently under his stare she came over and sat down next to him. Finally she had the courage to look him in the eye.

"I wanna know what you mean by that." She said.

"Well I last thing we talked about was what we should do about your hormones." He began.

"What do you want to do?"

She looked away with his words. She had no idea what to do. If she could have it her way she'd push him back on the bed and have her way with him. But she knew there was no way he'd go for that.

"I don't know Jack. What do you suppose "we" do?"

He again stared at her. With a blinking gaze he leaned in and touch her lips with his.

That was it for Kate. She was lost the minute he gave her that batted eyelashes look. But as his lips covered hers she began to think she might get her way.

She sat perfectly still as his lips spread over hers sending chills through her body. They pressed hard against hers and held there for the longest time. When he pulled back Kate slowly opened her eyes to see that lustful gaze in Jack's eyes.

Bringing her shaky hand up to her face she ran her fingers over her lips as her eyes came up to Jack's. She was gone in that moment seeing his face outlined by the moonlight shining into the tent. All the feelings she had built up came to a boiling point. All she could do was take it head on.

Moving in she kissed him back. Taking him by a bit of surprise. Sure enough he came back cupping her face. But with his touch she felt doubtful. As if she was taking advantage of him. She wasn't certain she was doing the right thing.

Pulling back she looked into his eyes as they tried to catch their breath. The look as smile was all she needed to let her know this was ok.

"Is this what you want?" He asked in a deep throaty voice.

All she could do was nodded her head against his. She was too afraid to say anything. Jack took her nod in approval and began kissing her neck. All Kate could do was hold on for dear life because he wasn't going to stop until he knew she was satisfied and had had enough. This was her night and she was all that mattered.

Griping the collar of his shirt, Kate struggled to pull it off as he kissed along her jaw line. She struggled against him and herself as his lips sent her down against his shoulder. She couldn't believe this was happening. Again.

Sitting back Jack quickly discarded his shirt Kate had been toying with. As he turned back to her he came to see her sitting with a wide-eyed grin as her eyes wonder over his body. Eyeing every muscle and freckle on his body. He had to chuckle at her amusement as he scooted closer to her.

Her eyes danced as they started into each other's eyes. Her breath was then caught as she felt his hand at her waist. He dared her to look away as he pulled her shirt over her head. Curls mangled and fell over her shoulders as he dropped the shirt to the floor.

Looking down her reached out his hand and laid it upon her stomach. His face dropped as he ran his fingers over it. Kate watched this and suddenly became sick thinking he had stopped cause he realized she was pregnant. Was that going to stop him?

He surprised her by leaning down and placing his lips on her stomach. She rose her hand to the back of his head. She gently ran her fingers over it as he left butterfly kisses across her stomach. As he brushed his cheek across his skin she let out a giggle causing him to look up. She just gave him a huge grin as she slinked her hand down his neck and rested it on his shoulder.

Leaving one last kiss right above her belly button he sat up. Coming face to face with her he gave her his own smile as he kissed her. His hand waltz up her arm and over her shoulder. As he gripped the back over neck he deepened the kiss. Opening her mouth they breathed in each other for the firs time in five months. It sent chills through both their bodies.

Coming back Jack brought his hand to her face. Brushing the curls off her cheek. She turned and pressed her face to his hand as she closed her eyes. Slowly she kissed down his thumb to his wrist. Opening her eyes she felt tears welling up. This was too perfect for her. Looking into his eyes she saw tears as well. This was perfect for him too.

Jack dropped his hand to his lap. The two sat for a moment in silence as if they were re-thinking this idea of theirs. All thinking was done as Jack began to unbutton his pants. Kate watched with anticipation. Waiting for him to look at her again.

Kicking them to the floor with his shoes, Jack looked up to see Kate doing the same as he had. She stood up and slid them down the ground. Stepping out of her shoes she sat back down closer to Jack, who sat completely naked in front of her.

She was caught up for a minutes staring at him. Last time it was her that had lain under him naked, but now the tables were turned.

Leaning towards his she looked up from his lap to his eyes as another smile grew across her lips. He knew what that smile was for. He chuckled at her adolescent behavior before he kissed her again. This time his hand came to her back. Slowly he lowered her to the bed.

As her back came to the airplane material he broke the kiss. Hovering over her he gazed down into her eyes. Trying his hardest to talk to her without words.

"You ready?"

She nodded her head without a blink.

"I want you Jack." She whispered.

A small smile appeared on his face as he slid her underwear down her legs. Leaving them where they lay he balanced himself over her without putting weight on her stomach.

Staring her strait in the eyes like he had before he swiftly slid into her. Her eyes flutter shut and her mouth gaped open as she gasped for air. Closing her mouth she pursed her lips as she swallowed the air. Parting her lips she let out a deep exhale.

He slowly began to move inside her. Quickly he sped up causing Kate to open her eyes and look up to him. He smiled down to her as he thrust faster. Kissing him, she wrapped her arms around his neck pressing her bare chest to his.

Kissing down across her face he moved down her neck. Coming to her chest he began to suck on her skin. Leaving small red marks as he went along. Stopping in the crevice of her breast she rested her chin a top his head as he thrusted harder into her.

He was trying to bring her to that moment as fast as he could. Not that he wanted it to be over. If he had it his way he'd make love to her all night, but they were on the beach surrounded by people who would have a field day if they ever found out. Then there was Sawyer. He wanted to try anything possible to keep Sawyer from finding out.

Lifting his head back up he kissed her again. This was more then a kiss. He bit and sucked on her lips turning them bright red. Small moans escaped her as he did this. She began to grab at his back telling him to speed up.

As he did he reached down and wrapped his hand under her knee. Bringing her leg up as best he could he hooked his around his back. This was better for both of them. More leverage for Jack and more pleasure for Kate.

Placing his weight on his hand he put it to the bed next to Kate's head. Shifting hid balnce her thrusted into her at a different angle nearly sending her over the edge. Leaning down his lips came to her neck again. Nibbling under her ear and breathing down her neck. Kate couldn't' take it anymore.

"Jack." She breathed scraping her nails down his shoulder.

He pulled back and looked down to see her eye fluttered closed again. She was almost there and so was he. In a few moments they both would be gone. Jack wanted to end it on a high note.

Bringing his hand to his lips Kate watched as he licked his fingers. She stared as him oddly as he lowered it down her body. As she felt it across her stomach her eyes went wide. Brining it between them Kate gasped knowing what he was doing. Feeling his fingertips she arched her back. She stopped just short of their stomachs touching. With all this she did still remember the baby.

Staring him in the eyes she wrapped her fingers around his neck. They kept an intense stare as he came in quicker until with one last thrust there was no more. Both their eyes fluttered shut as the feeling ripped through her body then his. She sucked in the air around her being careful not to scream. She knew the others were only a matter of feet away.

Letting his balance go, he rolled him self over to lie down next to her. He lay there for a moment letting the feeling sink in. Turning his head he looked over to see her lay with her eyes still closed and her mouth hung open.

Slowly it all disappeared and Kate glanced over to Jack. She had to laugh and look away. Looking back to him it became a sudden stare. For both of them. Just lying there watching each other. It felt right. Kate felt relieved that the feelings for gone. For then at least. She knew they'd probably be back. The question was would he help her.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"You're welcome." He smiled as he kissed her.

As they pulled away Kate suddenly felt guilty. Like she had when she had kissed Sawyer the first time then slept with Jack. But now she felt back for Sawyer. And also Jack. She felt as if she was using Jack.

She had to look away from his intense stare as these thoughts came up.

"I'm sorry Jack…" She wined.

"For what?"

"I feel like I took advantage of you."

"Advantage of me? Wasn't I the one that was in you tent?" He questioned.

"Yeah, but when I came to the caves I was looking for you to help me. And trust me you did, but I just feel bad about coming to you after what I did with Sawyer." She explained.

"So you would have rather slept with Sawyer?"

"No. I didn't even want to kiss him. It was just that I was so caught up and so turned on that I just acted."

"Kate look at me." Jack said cupping her face.

"You couldn't help kissing Sawyer. I understand that and really don't care. But I want you to understand that this was something I wanted to do. I wanted to help you. I mean this has got to be hell for you. All these feelings…." He continued.

She nodded her head with a smile at his comments.

"I don't want you to feel bad about what I do. Or anything that happens while your pregnant and when you have the baby. You can't help these things. Ok?"

"Ok.' She smiled.

'Ok." He smiled back as he kissed her.

The two lay there in each other's arms for a while. Talking about the baby as they ran their hands over her stomach. They came to the topic of names and what sex they thought it was. Kate was sure it was a boy, but Jack argued it was a girl.

Around midnight Jack got up and got dressed. He needed to head back to the caves before a search party was sent out for him. Getting up with him, Kate wrapped he blanket around her body. She sat and watched him get dressed giggling to herself. He loved that founds it amusing, but began to get aggravated when it became too much.

When he was dressed Kate stood up and followed him outside. She stood behind him as he looked out to the water. The gray waves were calm as they came up the shore. Turning around he gave her a slight smile as he pulled her in his arms. She tilted her face up to meet him in a kiss.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"Anytime."

With that he kissed her again and pulled away. With a wink he turned and headed around her tent disappearing from her. Walking over the edge of her tent she watched him walk unnoticed up the beach through the sleepless survivors. A smile came to her face as he faded into the jungle. Clutching the blanket around her she sighed in contentment as she looked down to the sand.

"What the hell was that?" A loud voice questioned.

Kate spun around the see Sawyer. She began to shake feeling his eyes wonder her naked body.

"What was what?" She asked trying to play it off.

"That little kiss and "anytime" bullshit." Sawyer snarled pointing off in the direction Jack had left.

He had seen them kiss. The one time she didn't want Sawyer to see her with Jack. Before the baby she wouldn't have cared, but now. Now she felt bad. She didn't want to hurt Sawyer anymore by showing off her and Jack. She began to wonder if he heard them having sex.

"It was nothing Sawyer. It was just a goodnight kiss."

Sawyer looked down her body again making her feel uncomfortable. Then his eyes wondered to her tent when he could clearly see her clothes lying in the sand.

"You guys had sex." He announced.

Kate's heart began to race. He knew. Somehow he knew.

"It's none of your business Sawyer." She said turning away from him.

"Yes it is if he's sticking himself up where my baby is!' He yelled following her.

"Who said it was yours?" Kate questioned spinning around.

Sawyer stopped. His eyes became sad then turned cold.

"It ain't mine is it?"

"I didn't mean it that way. I just don't like how you're trying to put ownership on a life. A life that's inside of me not you." She pointed out.

"Why didn't you come to me?"

"I did Sawyer! And you pushed me away!"

"What the hell am I supposed to do when you maul me?" He questioned.

She couldn't believe her was acting this way. She expected him to be upset, but this was ridiculous.

"Well Jack didn't push me away. He came to me."

Sawyer fell silent and began to walk away.

"I see. That's how it's going to be…"

"Sawyer…' Kate called as he turned away.

"Have fun using him there Freckles. Cause you ain't using me."

"Sawyer."

He didn't say another word and she was too afraid to head after him. She didn't need to give the others something else to talk about. So she just let him walk away.


	16. How It's Going to Be

_This is going to be it for a while. I'm heading down to Florida for ten days. So hope hope you all really enjoy this. I'm glad you loved the last chapter. Thanks as always for all your reviews. I'm going to miss you guys. Enjoy!_

**How It's Going To Be**

"You said its kick by now."

Jack looked up to Kate from his kneeling position in front of her. He couldn't help but laugh at her helpless face she was making. Turning back he stood.

"I said it will by the sixth month." He re-explained.

"Well it's six months and a half Jack. I haven't felt it." She pouted.

"Don't worry." He said placing his hands on her shoulders.

"I promise it will." He assured her with a smile

"Have I ever broken a promise?"

"No." She sighed.

"Anyways…." He said trying to continue with their checkup.

"How are the hormones?"

"Well I haven't mauled Sawyer and I haven't begged you for sex. So… I'd say pretty good." She joked.

She looked off into the distance as she continued.

"After we had sex I just went into a daze for like a week-"

"Yeah you kept telling how good it was every time you saw me." He smiled.

"Well it was." She smiled back.

Jack held his smile as he began to blush. He was glad he could've helped her. He was also glad it was good.

"Speaking of hormones how's it been going with Sawyer?" Jack asked changing the subject.

"He hasn't talked to me in a month." She said lowering her head.

"Give him some time. He'll come around. I mean I'd be the same way if you had slept with Sawyer."

"Yeah, but you'd still talk to me at least." She pointed out.

"This is Sawyer we're talking about.' Jack reminded her.

"His ego is way bigger then mine."

They both erupted into laughter knowing it was the truth. Sawyer did have a big ego. Sighing Kate felt good about the whole situation with Jack's words. He always found a way to make her feel better. But it was odd that he was trying to help her feel better about Sawyer. It was something she thought she'd never see.

"So still think it's a girl?" She asked looking down to her stomach.

Jack kneeled down and stared at her stomach. He pretended to look it over.

"I really can't make any educated guesses right now, but my moneys on a girl." He said staring up to her.

"You just want a daughter."

"So. Is it such a big deal?" He questioned.

"You want a son."

"No. I'll love it no matter what. I just feel that it's a boy." She explained.

They continued the check up and headed back out into the caves. Still they laughed and fought over whether it was a girl or boy. Some of the others put in their thoughts. Charlie was with Jack and Hurley was with Kate. It was tied and neither was going to drop it till they won. When Sun came walking into the caves they pounced.

"Sun can we ask you something?" Kate questioned.

"Sure."

"Do you think the baby is going to be a boy?"

"Or a girl?" Jack quickly followed

Sun looked to the both of them with a confused smile. Then she looked back to Hurley and Charlie behind her trying to influence her vote. Turning from them she looked to Kate's stomach.

"From the way Kate stands and her stomach sits high up I'd say a boy."

Kate turned to Jack snickering as she stuck her tongue out.

"See." She grinned.

"That's two people Kate. Two. I could easily go ask 45 other people." He warned.

"You go ahead and do that, but I'm not following you. I want to get back so I can sit down and do nothing."

"Whatever." He said giving up as he turned away.

"Bye Jack." She laughed after him as she turned to walk with Sun.

The two laughed about the way Jack was acting as they headed out of the caves and down the trail back to the beach.

"So have you felt it kick yet?" Sun asked.

"No. And I am so impatient waiting for it."

"I can tell. You and Jack are getting restless with this whole pregnancy thing. But in a good way."

"Yeah. The more and more pregnant I get the happier he gets." Kate smiled.

"And how are things with Sawyer going?" Sun asked.

"I haven't seen you two together in a while."

"We're not speaking." Kate announced.

"Oh because of you and Jack having sex?"

"Yeah. Sadly his ego took a trip."

"He kept yelling about how he didn't want Jack to be near his baby." Kate said.

"It really aggravated me when he labeled it his. Not that I don't want it to be. It's just it's more mine then either of the-"

Kate stopped mid sentence and grabbed her stomach. She felt and odd nudging feeling in her side.

"Are you ok?" Sun questioned coming closer to her side.

She waited for a moment trying to figure out what the feeling actually was. She let her hopes get the best of her.

"I think the baby just kicked."

She was uncertain if it was really the baby. Maybe it was gas again. Then the feeling came again and harder. Placing her hand over where it came from it came again. Now she was certain.

"Oh my god." She breath as tears came to her eyes as she looked over to sun.

"The baby kicked."

Sun's face lit up feeling the joy that radiated from Kate.

"Here feel." Kate said taking Sun's hand.

She placed it on her stomach where she last felt it and waited. Soon enough the feeling sent both women's hands back in surprise.

"I'm so happy for you." Sun cooed hugging Kate.

"Thank you." Kate cried.

The moment their bodies touch it kicked again. The two pulled away, looked down to Kate's stomach and back to each other laughing. Kate was nearly in tears as she pulled away.

"We have to go tell Jack."

Quickly Kate took Sun's hands and rushed back towards the caves.

"Jack!'

Immediately she started calling his name as she rushed into the caves with Sun behind her. Her eyes wondered around searching for him. Charlie and Hurley looked to her as if she was crazy.

"Ja-"

She stopped as soon as she saw him run out of a cave.

"What is it?" He questioned rushing up to her.

She was completely out of breath and hunched over trying to regain it. He started off thinking something was wrong, but when he saw her smile he became confused.

"The-the baby kicked."

"What?" He questioned her words.

"Are you serious?"

She nodded her head swallowing her breath. He couldn't help, but smile with joy as he put her hand to her stomach. Placing her hand over his hand his eyes fluttered up to meet her's. A huge grin grew across his dace. Lowering his eyes, her watched her move their hands over to where the baby had kicked before. They didn't even have to wait. The instant his hand came over the baby kicked. All he could do was cry out in laughter and tears.

"It's so…wonderful." He gasped tears of his own coming on.

"You're telling me." She laughed.

He kept his hand there for a minute and she kept her's on his. They just loved the feeling of the baby underneath their fingertips. It was an odd feeling of unity between them. This feeling between that resided inside of her made her question. Made her wonder if this was some maternal sign.

Kate snapped from her maternal daze as Charlie and Hurley walked up.

"You guys want to feel?"

"Not really." Hurley exclaimed squirming in his place.

He gave her a quick smile before he turned and walked past Charlie.

"What about you?"

"Sure." Charlie smiled walking up.

"Ok right here." Kate instructed taking his hand and replacing Jack's with it on her stomach.

He held his hand there and nothing happened. They all were staring at her stomach waiting for something to happen, but it wouldn't. His eyes wondered up to her's then Jack's in confusion.

"What is it broken?"

"It isn't broken Charlie. He's just not moving right now."

Jack eyed her with a narrow gaze. Looking over she saw that aggravated look upon his face.

"What?"

"You still think it's a boy don't you?" He questioned.

"Yep." She smiled looking to her stomach.

"Call it mother's intuition."

"Funn-"

He stopped as Kate's hand over her stomach quickly and her eyes got wide.

"What is it?"

"It kicked really hard!" She breathed.

"Here Charlie." Kate said taking his hand again.

The moment he placed his hand on her stomach the baby kicked. And then again causing Kate to cry out and laugh.

"He's going to be a soccer player one day. Maybe for Manchester." Charlie smiled.

"I don't know. What do you think Jack?"

"How about a soccer player?" She asked wrapping her hand around her stomach.

"Hey I'm still not up on the idea of it being boy." He joked.

"Well it can still play soccer if it happens to be a girl."

"Which it's not." She muttered under her breath.

He looked away with a smile. She was really set on a son.

"What's wrong with having a boy?" Charlie questioned.

"Yeah what's wrong with it?" Kate chimed in looking over to him.

He lowered his head taking a deep breath. What was he supposed to tell them? Looking back up he held back his emotions.

"I just really want a daughter ok?" He yelled with tears on his voice.

With that he turned and walked off. The three stood wondering what exactly was wrong. He seemed so carefree when they were joking about it, but the minute they asked him he got serious. Something was wrong.

Their eyes searching between her and where Jack had walked off. The both turned to Kate for some kind of answer. She didn't have one. If she did she would have said something, but she didn't. She had no clue why a daughter meant so much to him and she wanted to know why.

"I'll go check on him." Kate said heading after him.

Walking out past the caves she found him sitting alone on a random log on the ground. His face in his hands as he lightly sobbed. She was almost afraid to approach him, but she did. She had to know.

"Jack." She whispered laying her hand on his shoulder.

He jerked and looked up to her. There were obvious tears in his eyes.

"Kate?" He questioned.

No words came from her as she came to sit down next to him. He didn't even look at her. His stare was off in the distance past the trees. Not looking at anything in particular. Just thinking. She could always tell he was off on some thought by looking into his eyes. They were glazed over and wide. He was really upset over this.

"Are you ok?'

"Yeah." He assured her plastering a fake smile on his lips.

Now he was lying. Trying to cover up the real reason why he was upset.

"What's the real reason you what a daughter so badly?"

She was just going to come right out and ask. That was the only way she knew how to get answers.

He glanced over to her as he sniffed back his tears.

"You really don't wanna know Kate."

"Yes I do."

"If it's something that's going to affect how you are around this baby I want to know." She begged him.

There was no way around it. He had to tell her. She was right she did have a right to know. But how was he going to explain it to her?

"I thought if I have- if you have a girl…" He began looking to the ground.

"Then she'd end up looking like you. Having you're beautiful freckles and you gorgeous smile."

Kate smiled as she blushed; yet still she watched him talk. Hanging on to every word. It felt like it meant something to her to do so. This seemed real important to hear and she hadn't heard all of it yet.

"Your mess of a hair…" He continued brushing her hair from her shoulder causing her to lean into him.

"And if she looks like you then she can't look like either of us and we'd never know who the father was. Neither of us would have to turn away. I could still be her father even know she might be Sawyer's." He finished looking her strait in the eyes.

His words brought tears to her eyes, but she couldn't turn away. She didn't want to.

"Jack…." She gasped.

"I don't know what to say."

Slowly she took his hand and held it in hers. Brining it to her lips she kissed each and every finger across the tips. Coming to his pinky she left one across all of them as she squeezed his hand tighter. Resting it on her chest she looked up to him smiling. She didn't know what else to do. Anything could have happened at that moment. He could have proposed and she would have said yes.

"Jack I want you to be this baby's father. No matter if it's a girl or a boy." She announced.

"Kate what about Sawyer?"

His question did put her off. She never thought about Sawyer really raising the baby. She didn't want to. In her mind it was supposed to be her, Jack, and this baby. But somehow there was a forth party. One that hadn't talked to her him in a month.

Was he even involved anymore?

Did he want to be?

Had he been there in the first place?

Or was she just a charity case to him?

"Do you think he wants this baby?" She asked in a low tone tears still welling up.

"I don't know."

"But what I do know is I will be here for you no matter what. Even if the baby is Sawyer's." He assured her.

"Even if it has cute nicknames for me and a thick southern accent. I'm here."

She had to laugh, which caused Jack to laugh. It felt good to laugh for once. To let it all go. This had been too much for them and it still had its high points coming up. This was just practice.

"Thank you Jack." She smiled.

"You don't have to thank me Kate."

"I mean I love you."

Kate's eyes became wide scaring Jack. Then she relieved him when she whispered the same words as she leaned in and kissed him. Sitting back she left him with a huge smile across his face. A smile that told both of them it was ok. That it was all going to be ok.

Jack walked her back to the beach bypassing an explanation at the caves. They walked hand and hand down the path till they hit the beach. They really didn't want it to leak out that something may be going o between them. Not like the first time. They wanted to keep it a secret for a while.

He left her with a kiss and headed back to the caves to finish his duties. As soon as he left Sun came out questioning. Kate knew it was a sensitive subject to Jack, but she really didn't want all these rumors spreading around. She thought she could tell her. She trusted her to keep a secret.

"That is the sweetest thing I have ever heard." Sun sighed.

"I know. I was in tears." Kate laughed.

"And he said he loved me."

Sun's eyes widen and a smile grew across her face.

"Really?" She questioned.

"Yeah, but you gotta promise not to tell anyone or mention it to Jack. I don't wanna screw things up anymore."

"I promise." Sun assured her.

"So what did you say to that?"

Kate began to grin thinking about it. All of this sudden closeness between them made her feel weird inside. A good kind of weird.

"I said it back."

"Oh my…" Sun began to giggle.

"And I kissed him." Kate continued.

"I'm so happy for you." Sun said wrapping her arms around Kate.

"I told you everything would work out."

"Yeah. Thank you."

"No need. I just like to see you happy as well as Jack. And when you're both happy with each other it just gets to me."

Kate placed her hand over her stomach as she took a long breath.

"I guess he or she's happy too." Kate laughed weighing the possibilities.

"I don't doubt it. It's probably happy it's going to have a stable family with you and Jack."

Kate looked away blushing as she thought about her and Jack being together.

"I don't know if it's stay this way though." Kate wined.

"It will." Sun assured her.

"I hope so." Kate smiled.

"Do you think you'll get married?"

Kate's jaw dropped to the floor as she playfully hit Sun. The two erupted into laughter and giggles.

"Whose getting married?'

That voice was familiar yet pushed from Kate's mind. The two looked up to see Sawyer. Standing over them, question written all over his face. Now he was deciding to talk to her.

"No one." Sun replied quickly.

He looked away from her telling her to butt out.

"Freckles. What's this talk about marriage?"

"It was just a dream I had Sawyer. Nothing that's going to take your place of power." Kate shot hoping he'd buy it.

Sun bought it and she knew Kate was lying. She covered it up good.

"Whose the dream about?" He questioned.

"Sawyer….are you really hot and bothered over a dream I had?"

"Yes. Cause sometimes dreams become reality sweetheart."

His grin was about aggravating. She wanted to slap him across the face.

"Well it wasn't about you.' She snickered.

"If you're going to be this way…" He trailed of as he turned and began to walk away.

Kate turned to Sun rolling her eyes sending her into giggles. Causing Sawyer to peek over his shoulder. Suddenly Kate shot up and hurried after him.

"Hey Sawyer wait up."

"Why should I? When I could be having dreams about getting hitched and stuff?" He questioned.

"Cause I wanted to know if you wanted to feel the baby kick?"

He stopped in his tracks. At first he stood there with his back to her then he turned and eyed her.

"Are you serious?"

"Uh huh." She said nodding her head.

Slowly he walked over to her. Coming to her he stood in front of her and began to raise his hand. He didn't know how to go about it. He wasn't like Jack and how he was always touching her stomach. It felt weird. Kate wasn't going to take that lying down. So she grabbed a hold of his hand and put it to her stomach.

He stared at his hand waiting for some kind of feeling to hit it. Not knowing really what it would feel like he didn't know if he had already felt it. After a minute or so he looked up to her with question.

"Well…is it on a break or something?" He questioned.

"Just give a little bit Sawyer. It's not like you can put a quarter in it to make it work."

He just rolled his eyes and looked back to his hand.

"Has Jack felt it? Bet he was the first to feel it huh?"

"Nope the second. Sun was the first besides me." Kate said.

"Was he the one you were dreaming about Freckles?"

Kate slowly looked up to him. Her stare timid. She could tell he knew. She knew he knew when he dropped his hand from under hers.

"Now he's turning my baby against me?"

"What?" She questioned.

"How come he can feel it and I can't?"

"Cause the baby just isn't moving right now! And it isn't your baby Sawyer!" She yelled.

He seemed hurt by the comment.

"It's not Jack's either it's mine."

"Well I guess you turned it against me." He shot back.

"This is ridiculous Sawyer. It's an unborn baby. It's not like I have some remote I can control it with."

He said nothing and he stood for a moment staring at her. Slowly he turned and headed towards his tent.

"I'm not in the mood for this anymore." He said as he continued walking.

Kate stood there at first angry. Angry that he was getting so worked up over this. It wasn't anything to upset over. Then she became sad thinking maybe it was. Maybe all this talk about Jack being the father and her spending time with him did turn the baby away.

Jack stood in one of the caves. His eyes wondered across the walls. Taking a mental picture of it. He was in complete concentration till Charlie came rushing up out of breath.

"You need to get to the beach." He announced.

"Why? What's wrong?" Jack questioned as everything that could be wrong ran through his mind.

"It's Kate."

"Is she all right?" Jack kept questioning as he hurried out of the cave.

"Physically yes. Emotionally no."

"What?" Jack asked suddenly confused.

"Something happened between her and Sawyer." Charlie explained.

"Great."

Kate lay huddled in Sun's lap with her arms wrapped around her. All she could do was cry. That's all she had done for the past half an hour was cry. She didn't know why besides what happened with Sawyer, but she wasn't even thinking about it. She had so many thoughts swirling in her head she had no idea anymore.

She perked up the moment he walked into the tent. Jack's eyes shifted from Kate to Sun. No words were exchanged as Kate sat up and Sun got up. She rested her hand on Jack's shoulder as she left the tent. He took her place, but Kate didn't retake hers. Instead she turned from him trying to hide her tears.

"Wanna tell me about it?"

"What?" She questioned sniffing back her tears.

"You're crying Kate."

She wiped her hand across her face as she turned to him.

"I'm not crying these are tears of joy."

"Bullshit."

She lowered her head knowing she couldn't hide it. She knew he knew. Something was wrong, but the problem was she didn't know what.

"Now are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

She thought about it. Should she tell him? He kind if had a right to know, but on the other hand he didn't. This was something that happened between her and Sawyer. Still she knew no matter what he'd get it out of her. Why not just come out with it.

"Sawyer says I'm turning the baby against him."

"Why?" He questioned.

"Because I wanted him to feel the baby and it wouldn't kick. At first he said you had turned it against him cause you got to feel it then he turned it on me." She explained as tears began to well up in her eyes.

"I guess we were right about that whole ego thing."

"Yeah.' She laughed nervously.

He could she was uneasy about something.

"You don't believe him do you?"

She didn't say anything she just broke down. She really didn't know what to believe anymore. With the way everything had been going it was likely she had programmed the baby. Or was it? He slowly took her in his arms and held her close. Trying to calm her down.

"There's no way you can turn an unborn baby against someone."

"I don't even think you can do that with a born baby. That control issue comes around during teenage years." He joked.

Kate had to laugh. He was making her feel better, but she still felt bad for some reason.

"Trust me Kate there's no way." He tried to reassure her.

She sat up and stared into his eyes. How could she not trust him?

"I trust you." She smiled leaning up to kiss him.

"There's nothing to worry about. I promise you. This is all going to work out." He smiled.

Taking a deep breath she laid back on her bed. Suddenly she felt drowsy. A nap sounded good. She had had a trying day and rest would do her good. But she really didn't know how much sleep she would get with the baby kicking her every other minute. It wouldn't hurt to try.

"I'll be on the beach if you need me." He said helping her get settled.

She stared up to him with a smile. Yawning she got comfortable as he leaned over her.

"Don't worry about him."

Leaving a kiss on her forehead he turned and gathered his things. With a wink her headed out of the tent and onto the beach.

Her eyes fluttered shut and before she knew it she was asleep. Not for long. It seemed like only minutes before she heard a commotion outside her tent. Opening her eyes she came to see near darkness. Loud voices caused her to sit up and over her bed.

Listening for a moment she tried to make them out. It sounded like something serious was going on. Quickly she got up and stuck her head out to see what was going on. All she saw were the people on the beach gossiping to themselves as they all looked to Sawyer's tent.

Her eyes quickly wondered over to it too as his voice exclaimed from within. Soon it was joined by Jack's voice contradicting him. She watched their shadows fight back and forth with each other. For a brief moment she thought maybe she should go see what was wrong, but she changed her mind, as it got quiet.

The whispers could actually be heard as they all stared wondering what was going on. A few soft words were spoken and followed by Jack emerging from the tent. He walked in a hurry and focused on the ground. He was furious and obviously with Sawyer.

He straitened up, as he got closer to the other. As he looked up they looked away and went back to their business. Still wondering who had won and what the fight was about. Kate knew what it was it about. It was about her and the baby.

His eyes wondered up to see her standing close to her tent. He slowed as he watched her staring back at him. Her hair flapping in the night's breeze. Nipping her rosy cheeks. He could see the tears in her eyes from that far away. They were undeniable in the firelight.

Lowering his gaze he continued on as her's wondered over to see Sawyer looking over to her from his tent. He stared only for a minute before his deathly gaze turned to the ocean as he took a long drag of his cigarette.

She watched him until he was finished. With a flick of his wrist the butt was in the sand. He didn't even bother to put it out. Again he looked to her for only a moment till he looked back out to the water and then turned into his tent.

**Author's Note: **_When i get back from vaction i will have a bunch new chapters and a new short fic one shot about Jate. (of coruse) Anyways i'll miss all of you! _


	17. Changes of Scenery

_I know it's been a while since this was updates so i thought i might take a shot at it :P Again thanks for your reviews and for reading! I hope you enjoy!_**  
**

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Changes of Scenery**

"Hand me that shirt." Kate pointed behind her as she hung her shirt up on the clothesline.

As she hung up another article of clothing she reached back and awaited for the shirt she had asked for. Feeling the material between her fingers she grabbed it and began to hang it up with the others.

"You think you got enough clothes drying?" Sawyer asked looking at the line as it drooped under the weight of the clothes.

Wiping the dripping sweat from her brow she turned around with a smile across her lips.

"No."

"Same as the last time you asked Sawyer." She growled changing her mood instantly.

Sawyer stepped back with her bite.

"Well I'm sorry I asked." He sighed.

"You should be." She shot turning back to the line.

"Somebody is testy." Sawyer muttered setting the clothes in a basket.

Kate pretended to not hear his comment. She tried to justify her attitude by telling herself it was the pregnancy and not her. Instead she continued to hang clothes up. She was perfectly content with what she was doing until she glanced up and was caught by the sight of Jack walking up. In a perfectly cheery mood.

"Morning." He smiled kissing her on the cheek.

His action got a groan from Sawyer. Passing it off he leaned down. Leaving a kiss on Kate's stomach. She looked down to him in almost complete disgust.

"Morning." He whispered to her stomach.

Standing he was put off by seeing Kate standing with her hands on her hips. Seeing him she rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"Could you stop obsessing over my stomach for two seconds?"

"I was just letting the baby hear my voice." Jack said.

"I think it knows by now Jack."

His eyes became wide with her jab. Hearing a giggle Jack looked past Kate to see Sawyer trying his damnedest to keep it in. Looking up he gave Jack a grin as he looked away again with a laugh.

"I'm sorry." Kate apologized wiping the sweat from her brow again.

"I've been a bit moody lately."

"Moody?' Sawyer question catching both of their attention.

"That's an understatement.' He laughed.

Kate's eyes narrowed before she turned back to Jack.

"It's ok. It's normal to be moody." Jack smiled letting it go.

"Normal?" Kate questioned.

"How would you know?"

"Do you have a ten pound baby sitting on your bladder?" She asked.

Again, Sawyer tried his best to keep his laughing in. It was so hard for him. After him having to deal with her for the last two days, Jack deserved it.

"I doubt it's ten pounds Kate. I mean there is no way at seven months it's te-"

He quickly stopped seeing she was getting more annoyed.

"But what do I know." He looked away rolling his eyes.

Lowering her head she sighed in exhaustion.

"I'm sorry. I'm just not in the best of moods." She sighed.

"It's ok.' He smiled reassuring her with his hand upon her shoulder.

He could see her immediately change. Her eyes wondered down to his hand. Quickly he lowered it to his side. He took it as his time to go.

"See you later.' He smiled giving her a quick peck on her cheek.

As he walked past her, she watched after. Sawyer's eyes followed him as well. When he was far enough away Sawyer busted into laughter. Jack disappeared and he looked back to Kate who was not amused.

"What?" He questioned.

She just rolled her eyes and turned back around.

She knew she was being harsh, but she just didn't have it in her that day to be nice. She was pregnant, it was hot, and she had to pee every five minutes. It just wasn't her day.

"He annoyed you didn't he?" Sawyer asked.

"What?" Kate questioned turning around.

"What makes you think that?'

"The way you acted."

"How'd I act?" She questioned trying to act innocent.

"Pissy." Sawyer breathed folding clothes.

"Pissy?"

He nodded his head as he lowered it. He felt her gaze, but it was nothing to intimidate him.

"You try having a baby pressing down on you while you stand out in 1000 degree heat and see how you feel."

"I think I'll pass." Sawyer grinned.

"Of course. You can't handle responsibility." She sighed turning around.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means-"

Kate became dizzy as she turned around. Quickly she lost her balance and began to fall.

"Whoa." Sawyer called out putting his hands out to catch her.

Helping her stand, he looked her over. Making sure she was all right.

"Are you ok?"

She thought the question over. Her head was suddenly throbbing. Her body shook as she tried to stand in his arms. Sweat was running down her forehead and the rest of her body. Honestly she felt awful.

"I'm fine.' She hissed pulling from his grip.

She thought it best in that moment to go and lie down. As he lowered his hand she fought herself to walk away.

Stumbling, she walked through the sand. She was going slower then she thought she was. Second by second she began to feel worse. It became hard to keep her eyes open as the world swirled around her. Her knees began to go weak as she tried to stand.

"Kate…" He called after her.

Slowly she turned around to face him.

"No Saw-"

Before she could finish his name, she gave out. It felt as if her legs were falling from under her. A sour feeling came over her stomach. Her eyes fluttered shut instantly. The last thing she saw was Sawyer and Michael running to catch her.

"Kate!' Sawyer yelled as he rushed towards her.

Michael came up behind him as he kneeled down to catch her. As he head hit his arms her weight almost became too much.

"Get her feet!' Sawyer demanded Michael.

Taking her feet, Sawyer wrapped his arms under hers. In one swift moment they picked her up. Her body was limp in their arms as they stood there wondering what to do. Their eyes wondered around and then to each other.

"My tent."

Together they stumbled over to Sawyer's tent. Coming inside they walked over to his bed. All this time horrible thoughts ran through Sawyer's head. Slowly and gently as possible they lowered her to it. Sliding their hands from under her, Michael backed up, as Sawyer got closer.

He leaned over looking to her face. Sweat glistened her skin. His fingers came to the crook of her neck searching for a pulse. It was there, but faint. Quickly he panicked not knowing what happened or what to do. Only one thing came to his mind.

"Get Jack."

With that Michael was on his feet. Racing out he left Sawyer to worry about Kate. He kneeled at her side staring her in the face. His eyes wondered her body ending at her stomach.

What if there was something wrong with the baby?

He couldn't help to think this was his fault. The fighting. Him avoiding her.

Had he brought this on?

All he could do in that moment was punish himself and worry.

Within minute Jack rushed in. Sliding his backpack off his shoulder he kneeled in the sand. Pushing Sawyer out of the way he leaned in over Kate.

"What happened?" He questioned running his fingers over her skin.

"She just dropped. I don't know what caused it."

"Michael said you to were fighting." Jack pointed looking over his shoulder.

Sawyer's face lowered.

"That isn't the problem here Doc."

Taking a deep breath Jack turned back to Kate. Opening his pack he took out a water bottle and a shirt. Soaking it in water her wiped the side of her face. Resting it on her head he took out another. Drenching it he draped it over chest.

He was trying his best to cool her down. He suspected that the heat got to her. She was sweating more then she should have been and her breathing was slowed.

Draping another clothe over her arm his focus turned to the baby. He doubted it had been harmed, but there was a possibility. If Kate stayed in this state longer then an hour it could block oxygen to the baby.

Taking a deep breath he cupped her face. Caressing her skin he hoped his touch would wake her. In his efforts to wake her he had completely forgot Sawyer sitting behind him. Looking over his shoulder he saw him sitting there in worry. Biting his thumb he rocked back and forth waiting to hear her. He was as worried as Jack. He almost felt sorry for him.

"You did the right thing."

Sawyer looked up with his words.

"What?" He questioned taken back by his words.

"You did the right thing by brining her in here. Thanks."

"I didn't do it for you."

They held an intense gaze.

"Jack?"

Jack looked back to see Kate coming to. Her eyes wondered around trying to put together where she was. Seeing the two hovering over her she began to worry.

"Hey." Jack smiled.

"Where am I?" She questioned as she saw Sawyer come up next to Jack.

Even he looked happy to see her.

"Sawyer's tent. You fainted." Jack explained.

"Fainted!" Kate questioned as she struggled to sit up.

"The baby? Is the baby o-"

Jack and Sawyer both helped her back to the bed. If she got too excited she could faint again.

"It's fine." Jack assured her.

With a sigh she lowered her head. Raising her hand she rested it atop her stomach. She felt better knowing it was safe.

"Kate I want you too try and go back to sleep."

"Jack I'm fine." Kate tired to protest.

"No you're not. If you push too hard you could hurt the baby."

His words were all she needed to get her to stay put. She wasn't going to do anything to hurt the baby.

"Just rest ok?"

Kate nodded her head as she lay back down. Leaning in Jack kissed her on the forehead. As he stood her lids became heavy. With one breath she was asleep again.

Standing up Jack let out as sigh. Looking away from Kate in sleep, Sawyer came to his side. Putting away his thing Jack looked up to him and could see he was still worried. With a comforting smile he patted him on the back.

"Keep an eye on her."

"Will do." Sawyer sighed rubbing the back of his neck.

It was silent for a moment between the two. Kate's near labored breath were louder than their own. They tried hard not to concentrate on her. Still Sawyer couldn't help but stare down to her.

"How long will this last?" Sawyer questioned.

Jack turned back and looked to him. Glancing away from him, he stared to Kate as if he was trying to make an assessment.

"Don't know. She could be out all day or an hour…" He began.

"But she can't be on her feet for at least a day. Not with this heat."

Sawyer looked to his with wide eyes of question.

"So she has to stay for a day or more?"

Jack nodded his head. He could see Sawyer disappointment written all over his face. He wasn't up for this.

"She has to stay here Sawyer."

"What about her tent?" Sawyer asked.

"She needs to be close to someone incase the heat gets too much. Plus I wouldn't even take the risk of letting her walk across the beach."

Sawyer let out an aggravated sigh.

"You don't want something to happen to her or the baby do you?"

"No." Sawyer breathed.

Turning towards the exit of the tent, Jack prepared to leave. With a heavy breath he turned around.

"Change the cloths every hour or so to keep her temperature down. Push her to eat and drink even if she protests." Jack ordered.

"I'll be back tonight to check on her." He finished lowering his head as he turned and walked out onto the beach.

Still looking over her, Sawyer tried to take it all in. With a heavy sigh he lowered himself into an airplane seat next to his bed. Slumping down he rested his head in his hand. Looking away from Kate's deathly state he closed his eyes.

Mid afternoon the next day she woke up. She had been up off and on the night before, but no longer than an hour. After Jack came and checked on she went out like a light. She barely moved the whole night, which worried Sawyer to death. He didn't have the guts to close his eyes. Scared she'd die in the middle of the night.

Against his protests and Jack's, she now sat outside his tent under the tarp in one of the airplane seats. She couldn't stand the sight of his tent anymore that morning. Now she was perfectly content sitting and watching everyone. Although she did feel bad that she couldn't get up and help, it was better than laying around.

As the sunset she became desperate. All day she pulled people away from their chores to come and talk to her. All were willing, but some didn't help the matter. Shannon talked about herself, Walt asked too many questions, and Locke scared her by telling her what was happing to the baby. All in all it was a waste.

She almost gave up hope until Hurley walked by. Hurley could always cheer her up.

"Hurley.' She called waving him over.

He looked around for a moment making sure she was actually calling him. As she waved him over again he slowly began to walk over to her. Pulling down his headphones he took as seat next to her. At first he had no idea what to say.

"So how are you and the baby doing?"

"Good. But we kinda have to stay put with the heat and all." She sighed.

"Dude that kinda sucks."

"Having to sit around with Sawyer all day." He snickered.

"He isn't that bad." Kate tried to defend him with a smile.

It got quiet between them. They had never really had a conversation with each other. It was hard.

"So what's up with you?" She asked trying to break the tension.

"Nothing much. Same old same old stuff." He smiled.

"That's good."

That awkward silence hit them again. Letting it go it became too much.

"Well I better be going." He said getting up.

Kate really didn't want to go, but it wasn't like she could stop him. She had no reason.

As he got up her eyes followed his movement almost like a lost puppy dog. She didn't want to be alone. Glancing to his hand she got her reason for him to stay.

"Wait." She called out causing him to turn around

He noticed her eyes were focused on his hand. Looking down he saw she was staring at his CD player.

"Can I see it?"

He stared at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Please. Just for a minute."

Hesitantly he took off his headphone and handed it to her. Taking it from her she held it in her hands for a minute. Studying it. Then taking the headphones she wrapped them around her stomach.

"Dude, what are you doing?"

"An experiment." She smiled.

He looked to her confused.

"What CD is in here?"

"Drive Shaft."

"Charlie pushed it on me, but I have to say it's pretty good."

"Perfect." Kate continued to smile.

"Do you know which is "You All Everybody"?"

"I think three." Hurley replied.

Skipping to the track she listened to make sure. Hearing the right lyrics she took the phones and put them back to her stomach. She waited for the baby to react. She didn't have to wait long. Within seconds the baby was moving. It almost like it was dancing.

"Oh my god." She cooed.

"What?" Hurley questioned with worry.

"Come here."

Reluctantly he came over. Reaching up Kate took his hand and placed it on his hand. He tried his hardest to wiggle free, but she wouldn't let him. She wanted to share this. He quickly gave in as he felt the gentle kick against his hand.

"What is that?' He asked.

"The baby."

"The little dude likes it." He smiled.

"Or he hates it and wants me to turn it off." Kate giggled.

"It think he likes it." Hurley said.

"Let's hope so for Charlie's sake." Kate smiled.

The two sat there for the longest time feeling the baby dance. It made them both giggle like little girls, which kinda scared Kate.

"What in the hell are you doing?" Sawyer questioned walking up.

"Feeling the baby dance." Kate smiled looking up to him.

He had been gone all day. Oddly she hadn't wondered where.

"You wanna feel?"

"I ain't falling for that trick again."

"Dude it's really cool." Hurley assured him.

"Well I guess if he approves…"

"Come over here Sawyer!" Kate demanded.

With a groan he walked over. The minute he came to her side she took his hand. Hurley moved away as she placed Sawyer's hand to her stomach. As it kicked again Sawyer stood motionless confusing Kate.

"Well…"

"Well what?" He asked.

"Didn't you feel it?"

"All I felt was some weird bump."

"That was it. That was the baby kicking." She exclaimed.

"It was?"

She nodded her head.

"That is what you've been all worked up about?"

"You're just no fun are you?" She groaned lowering his hand.

"Guess not." He grinned.

Picking up the CD player he looked it over.

"What CD is this anyway?"

"Drive Shaft. Charlie's band." Hurley announced.

"The little reject has a band?"

"Haven't you been listening to him at all? That's all he talks about." Kate said.

"Well then I don't want the baby listening to it." Sawyer said taking the headphones off her stomach.

Kate stared up to him almost shocked.

"Don't want that shit screwing him up like it did "Charlie"."

Handing it to him, Hurley got the hint to leave. He could see Kate was about to go off on Sawyer and didn't want to get in the way. He came to his feet as she stumbled to hers.

"Dude see you later."

"You too." She smiled hugging him.

As she let him go he was off as fast as he could go.

"What do you have against Charlie?" Kate asked folding her arms across her chest.

"Nothing. He just irritates me. And from what I heard his music sucks. So I don't want him listening to it." He explained.

'Him?" Kate questioned letting the argument about Charlie slid.

"The baby." Sawyer said looking to her stomach.

"So you think it's a boy?" Kate asked approaching him slowly.

"Yeah. What do you think it's a girl?"

"No I actually think it's a boy too. Jack thinks it's a girl. Actually he more wants as girl."

"Why?" Sawyer questioned with a sour face.

"He wants a small me." She replied only telling him half the reason. She couldn't really tell him the full reason.

"That is exactly what we need. A small you." He smirked.

She crossed her hands again over her stomach trying to act hurt by his comment.

"And all we really need is a small smart ass who gives everyone cute nicknames and walks around with peroxide and bandages everywhere he goes?"

"You want a boy too there Freckles." He smirked again.

"I'm beginning to change my mind." She sighed.

Sitting up in bed, Kate looked down to one of Sawyer's magazines in her lap. It wasn't something she was interested in, but it was keeping her sane at least. She had been bed written for a day and a half. It was a complete bore sitting there watching Sawyer walk around. Hearing the people outside drove her mad.

Flipping over another page she sighed. She wanted to get up and walk around.

Hope soon lifted her sprits as Jack walked in and sat down next to her. He looked down to her with a smile. A smile that hopefully brought good news.

"Car Extreme?" Jack questioned taking the magazine from her.

"Not something I expected you to read, but…"

"It's the only thin keeping me sane." Kate smiled.

Sliding his backpack over his shoulder he sat it between them. Unzipping it he searched through it.

"You hungry?"

"I already ate with Sawyer." She announced.

"Oh…"

"Don't worry I threw it up. Should be hungry in an hour."

"It's not that. I'm just I'm surprised he fed you." Jack said with a raised brow.

"Jack…" Kate called out shaking her head.

Jack apologized with his laughter shaking his own head with judgment upon himself. Still it did surprise him.

"So…"

"What's the new?" Kate asked knowing Jack was struggling to look her in the eyes.

When he finally did she saw uneasiness.

"I want you to move to the caves."

"Jac-"

"Kate you know it would be better for you and the baby."

"I know, but I like the beach. The caves are just too morbid." She wined.

"I know you don't like them."

"This isn't a question of like anymore. It's about safety. It's so much better at the caves. It's cooler and you'd be closer to me for when the baby comes." He explained trying to convince her.

"I don't know Jack…" She sighed.

He could see her unwillingness. She hated the caves from the start. But this wasn't her choice anymore. The safety of the baby was at stake and Jack was going to do whatever he had to do to insure it was ok. Along with Kate. Still with all at risk he didn't have complete authority over her.

"Just promise me you'll consider it?" He asked resting his hand over hers.

"I will." She smiled.

With his own smile he stood. Bending down he kissed her forehead. Standing up still with his smile, he turned and left her to read about cars. He knew in his heart he didn't have to worry, because she'd make the right decision.

"Kate."

She heard her name in the dark. At least she thought she did. When it didn't come again she put it off and tried to settle back into sleep. Then came a rustling sound. It aroused her too. Still she put it off as it ceased.

"Kate."

It came closer to her this time. Somebody was really messing with her and it was pissing her off. She wasn't in the mood to be bothered while she was sleeping.

"Freckles."

Her eyes shot open. It was Sawyer. The rustling came again as he called her again. Turning her head she looked over to see him kneeling in the sand next to the bed.

"What. Do. You. Want?" She asked.

He continued with whatever he was doing and played off her question. She couldn't make out what he was doing in the night. It bothered her to not have an idea what was going on.

Suddenly he stopped and turned to her.

"Get up." He said.

"What?"

"Come on get up." He repeated standing up.

"Why?" She questioned.

"Just come on." He said grabbing her hands.

With a tug he got her to sit up. With more encouragement he got her to her feet in the sand. But it would take a little more to get her out of the tent.

"I have something to show you." Was all he said as he took her hand and led her out.

They were out in the jungle for ten minutes before she said anything. She had been quiet the whole way. Too tired to say anything. And the dark factor didn't help much. Neither did the fact that Sawyer was leading her into the jungle in the middle of the night and she had no idea why.

"It is the middle of the night Sawyer. I'm not in the moo-"

"Don't worry Freckles." He said leaning to his side and then quickly standing strait.

She could tell he was carrying something.

"What are you carrying Sawyer?"

"Don't worry about it."

How could she not worry about it? She was being drug out into the jungle. In the middle of the night by Sawyer. And it was dark. There were things in that jungle that ate people and that was unsettling to Kate. Still she tried to take his word and trust him.

She fought not to let sleep win. And she almost lost until the lit up entrance of the caves caught her. Lifting up her head she stared down the narrow passage way. She became somewhat aware of what was happing when she glanced over to see Sawyer readjusting her bags over his shoulder.

The moment they walking under the entrance way she saw Jack, Charlie, and Michael waiting.

"Look what I found wondering in the woods?" Sawyer said calling attention to them.

All of them turned and rushed up to Kate.

"What is all of this? Kate asked Jack hoping to get an honest answer.

"Well…' He began taking her from Sawyer.

Wrapping his arm around her back he led her across the caves. Everyone seemed to follow them.

"We were hoping this could change your mind about moving to the caves." He finished brining her over to one of the smaller caves.

The sight before her put her back. The cave was decorated with baby things and toys. A small man made crib sat in the corner across from a cot draped with Kate's blankets. All her stuff from her tent was there. This was obviously a nursery.

"Oh my god." Kate gasped.

"You guys did this?" She asked turning back to them.

"I built the crib." Michael said.

"I found the baby things." Charlie announced.

"I brought your things.' Jack said.

"And I was the messenger." Sawyer smirked.

"Thank you guys." Kate cried walking up to each one of them.

First she hugged Michael. Then Charlie. Leaving him with a kiss on the cheek. Sawyer's lingered on before she turned around and walked up to Jack.

"Thank you.' She smiled wrapping her arms around him.

"You're quite welcome." He assured her.

Pulling back he rested his hand on her back as she turned and looked to the cave.

"Does this change your mind?" He asked.

"I might consider it." She smirked with a raised eyebrow.

Holding her tight for a minute in joy that she had given in they headed over to the cave. Charlie followed them wanting to point out the stuff he found. Michael wondered off with Walt to ready for sleep. Sawyer stood for a minute watching them in their joy. He wanted to join them, but realized it wasn't something he wanted to do.

After looking the area over and seeing everything Charlie found twice Kate wondered out. Immediately she spotted Sawyer sitting by himself in front of the fire. She thought eh had headed back to the beach.

Looking back she saw that Jack and Charlie were preoccupied. So she slowly wondered over. Glancing up Sawyer saw her. In instinct he took her hand and helped her sit down beside him. Letting go he turned back to the fire.

His stare was intense almost unearthly. It worried Kate. It worried her that he was again feeling left out. It made her feel worse that she was leaving him.

"It's really nice." He said looking over her shoulder to the cave.

"Yeah." She said joining him in looking.

"As long as you like it I guess…."

Slowly he turned back to the fire worrying her again.

"Are you going to be ok?" She asked.

"Without you on the beach? Of course." He smirked.

"Might get some sleep finally."

She had to laugh seeing that he was smiling. Deep down she knew he was hiding something. But she wasn't going to push him. So with a sigh she turned to the fire. Their motionless shadows cascaded down the cave walls.

The two sat silent for a while. Not being interrupted. Both had their minds consuming them in the same manor, yet bother had different thoughts. Yet still they were on the same level.

"Well…" He sighed letting his mind get the best of him.

She was quiet as she watched him stand. His eyes hovered over her with the color of fire filling them.

"I guess I'll see ya."

Before she could say anything he bent over her. In a moment his lips came to the top of her head. Leaving a quick kiss amongst her hair. Standing back up he stood for a moment. Her eyes wondered up to meet his.

"Good night Kate." He whispered.

No smirk guided his words. It confused Kate. Then as odd as the kiss he turned without another word and walked away. No explanation.

She sat stunned watching him walk away. Every minute he plunged further into the darkness.

"How do you like it?"

Kate looked back to see Jack now beside her. His face bright and smiling. Unlike Sawyer's, which was brought down and saddened.

"Yeah it's great.' She smiled.

Slowly she turned thinking she might see Sawyer still walking away. She didn't. He was gone and on his way to the beach. Still she sat looking into the darkness.

"He'll be ok." Jack assured her wrapping his arm around her.

Kate slowly turned back to Jack. His face was endearing and honest. She couldn't help, but think he was right. Sawyer was going to be all right without her. It wasn't going to hurt that they were apart. Still she couldn't help but think he felt left out and alone without her on the beach.

"He'll be ok." Jack repeated.

"I know." Kate sighed resting her head on his shoulder.


	18. Nervousness

_I know it's been a while, but i finally go it up. This chapter took shorter than i expected. But i used all my mindpower to get throught it and i hope you all enjoy it! As always reviews are a writers friend_

**  
Nervousness**

Kate scurried about the caves trying her best to busy herself. The darkness of the cave mixed with the sunrays slowly peering through the tree canopy as the sun rose. Every once and a while she would look over her shoulder to see Jack lying fast asleep on her cot. She knew once he woke up she'd have to go back to sitting down and relaxing. She couldn't do that.

It was hard for her to relax anymore.

Now that she had moved to the caves she was antsy and somewhat fearful. The place gave her bad vibes. Since the first night she had slept there before she was even pregnant she felt this way. It just creeped her out. There was something unnerving about the place.

She had now been staying there for two weeks. Two weeks of claustrophobia. Two weeks of barely any sleep.

The first night she was there she heard odd whispers as she tried to drift off to sleep. At first she thought it was just her mind playing tricks with her, but as the nights wore on it got worse. She started seeing things on the walls as she stared at them with wide eyes.

Then there were the nightmares.

They haunted her every night. All of them were horrific instances were she lost the baby. She'd be out in the jungle and that thing in the jungle would spring up from the ground. It would chase her through the masked darkness trying to defeat her. Then in an instant she'd fall into a pit of blood. Grabbing at her stomach she'd find nothing there.

She was scared to death. Scared that this life inside of her was going to be taken from her. For a long time she didn't tell Jack. Too scared that he'd think she was crazy like Claire. But when it became too much and she wasn't getting any sleep he noticed and she had to tell him.

He assured her that it was just her hormones trying to get the best of her. He advised her to take it easy and just lounge around instead of trying to do so much. That didn't help her sleep. It made it worse. She began to worry that she wasn't going to be ready for the baby.

So to help her get over it and at least feel safe while she slept, he moved into the cave with her. Feeling his body close to her at night did put her at ease and help her sleep. That was about the only thing it did. Without the nightmares she began to worry more about not being ready.

That was the situation she was in now. Jack tried to put a label on what she was doing and say she was nestling, but this was nowhere near that. He soon saw how serious she was about it and began to worry. He tried to put her on bed rest, and for two days it actually worked, but he caught her. Up at the crack of dawn like she was now, cleaning at feverish pace. Trying to place everything just right.

She nearly thought to give up. It was hard to see anything without the sun being up all the way. Then there was the possibility of waking someone up. Charlie lay asleep no more than six feet away from where she was standing. All curled up into a ball with his fist clenched tight. He never slept like that till after Claire. It was weird how in daily life he seemed happy, but once asleep his true state peered through.

Looking past him she saw Hurley lying on his side like usual. Michael and Walt were in the far corner up against a piece of wreckage. The others were scattered between each other. All of them sleeping. Most of them dreaming of their past lives. She hoped they at least had a happy life to dream about. She was stuck with a nightmare instead of a dream.

Standing there looking over each of them she began to think what'd she'd be doing in that moment if the plane hadn't crashed. Probably sitting in some dank cell forcing sleep upon herself. Just the thought of that made her think of the cave she was staying in.

Glancing over her shoulder she saw it. It was weird how much the cave and the cell had in common. As her eyes wondered over the rock walls focusing on every grove and indentation she began to realize why she hated the caves so much. They were like prison to her. Cold, wet, damp, and small. Confined spaces. That's why she didn't like them. They reminded her of what was supposed to be.

Thoughts of worry came over her again. Her growing fear that someone was going to take the baby from her got the best of her. She wanted to sit down and rest, but there was nowhere sit without waking someone up. With a sigh of aggravation she slowly made her way back into the cave.

Her eyes quickly latched onto Jack. Still he lay on his back with one hand hung over the edge of the bed and the other sprawled out across his chest. She watched it move every time his chest heaved with his breath. Smiling she felt some sense of security, but not enough.

Leaning down she planted her hand on the ground to leverage herself as she sat. As her butt came in contact with the cold rock ground she let out a silent squeal. Wiggling around in her place she did her best to get comfortable, but sadly it was a losing battle. Being pregnant, it wasn't easy to sit so leisurely on the ground anymore.

Pushing off the stretching pain in her back, she leaned over and pulled the wooden baby crib towards her. Along with it she pulled her backpack over. Opening it she pulled out a small knife and sand paper Locke had given her to smooth out the edges.

Looking over the crib she found the place in which she had left. Taking the knife she cut off the point and with the sand paper she began to smooth over the wood.

She was so concentrated with what she was doing she didn't hear anything around her until someone spoke up.

"What are you doing?"

His voice nearly caused her to jump up. Instead she glanced over her shoulder to see him, and seeing his ill-gotten face she turned back to the crib.

"Sanding the rough edges." She replied.

"And how long have you been up doing this?" He asked in a weathered voice as he stretched.

"I've only been doing this for a couple of minutes."

She waited for him to ask her another question. Instead she was overcome by his shadow as he came up behind her. She turned from the crib and watched him as he sat down next to her. Their eyes didn't meet till he was on the ground next to her. She had a feeling he wasn't sitting to help her.

"Then how long have you been up before this?" He asked turning to her.

Refusing to give up just then she went back to the crib. Rubbing the paper as fast as she could she thought she could get it sanded before he made her get up and lay down. But he stopped her. Placing his hand over hers he stopped her.

Taking a deep breath she closed her eyes. All the worrying thoughts came into her mind as she looked over to him. She could see that distrustful look on his face. The look that he gave her every time he seemed to be let down by something she did.

"Why are you doing this to yourself Kate?"

"I'm not doing anything. It's this place." She said glancing up to the rock walls as the shadows of the trees and things outside splashed across them in a rainbow of gray.

"I can't stop worrying that I'm not ready yet."

"You shouldn't be worrying everything is going to be fine." He tried to assure her with a smile.

"I should be the one whose worried I have to deliver the baby-"

"Yeah, but I have to go through that pain of pushing it out of my body and then after that I have to take care out it for the rest of my life. I'm not ready for that kind of responsibility. I mean a year ago I was in the custody of the government and now I'm stranded on an island because of a plane crash. And I'm pregnant."

"I mean how am I supposed to raise a child on an island? What is it going to eat? Where is it going to sleep? Then there is the matter of clothes. It can't exactly run around naked all of his life. Then there's the highly unlikely possibility that we get rescued. The government's going to take my child from me and he's going to be left alone in the world with no one to look after him. I can't put a child through that." She cried.

Jack lowered his hand. Slowly running his fingers down her arm he tried to think of something to say, but he couldn't. She was right and he knew it. It was going to be hard to raise a child on and island. And if they did get rescued they probably would take the child away. There was no way of stopping it, but he'd be damned if he was going to let this child alone in the world. There was no way that was going to happen and there was no way he was going to let Kate go through this alone.

"Kate, I can't say that you're wrong." He began as he just went along with it making it up as he spoke.

"It's going to be hard. It's going to be rough, but you're not alone in this. Not by a long shot. I'm here. Sawyer's here, and everyone else is here with you and we're going to help you through it the best we can. You're going to worry, but you know nothing is going to happen to this baby, because I'm not going to let it."

His words were comforting, but still she feared.

"But what if they take it from me Jack?" She whispered as she lowered her head.

"What if they take it from me and I never get to see it again?"

"They won't. I won't let them. I promise."

Lifting her head up she opened her eyes as tears tickled down her cheeks. Staring at the crib in front of her she couldn't help, but let all of it get to her. She was so scared. And he knew it. Slowly over the last few days he saw her become unhinged. This was worse than when she first told him she was pregnant. All the worried questions, he passed off as cold feet, but this was anxiety. She was working herself up and of she didn't stop she was going to go into an early labor.

"Are you ok?" He asked.

Her lips trembled as she fought back a nervous breakdown. Looking over to him through the tears she shook her head.

In that moment he didn't try and comfort her with words. He simply took her him his arms and held her tight. When she felt his hands around her she let it all go. She broke down and cried.

"I'm so scared Jack."

"I know." He whispered.

She began to shake in his arms as she cried. At this point he didn't know what to do. All he could do was hold her and try to convince her it was going to be all right. Doing so he leaned down and kissed the top of her forehead as he held her tighter. He sat there as she lay across his lap sobbing until the tears wouldn't come anymore.

The day went on. Kate eventually calmed down, but that didn't stop her from "nesting". Once Jack headed off for the day and Kate was under the watchful eyes of Charlie and Hurley, she went back to what she was doing.

In two hours time she collected all of the clothes at the caves, washed them, folded, and put away the ones that were dry. When that was done she fell into a boredom spell. Michael came by and offered her some books. She tried to take Jack's advice and settled down. Halfway through one chapter of the first book she became antsy again.

She went for a walk around the borders of the caves. That didn't help. It just gave her quiet time to think and dwell on everything. Sometimes she caught herself peeking over her shoulder to see if "it" was following her. Every sound from then on spooked her. Finally she gave up and went back to the caves.

By then it was sundown. Slowly everyone was making his or her way back to the caves to eat. Walt wondered in with Vincent in tow. After that was Michael who was joined by Locke. Of course Charlie and Hurley came in together. Both stopping to see how she was doing and to feel the baby kick. By the time the caves were dark and lit by only firelight everyone had made it back. Everyone but Jack. She began to worry.

"Have you seen him?' She questioned in the meekest voice as she approached Charlie and Hurley.

"Seen who?" Charlie asked.

"Jack. He's not back yet."

"Probably on his way. Wouldn't worry about it." He assured her with a smile as he went back to his boar.

"Ok." She said turning away.

Before she walked away she quickly spun around and looked to Hurley.

"You haven't seen him have you?"

"Dude not since we were on the beach."

She stared at his over the fire. Worry clouded her eyes and controlled her stance as she stood. It wasn't like her to be so worried over Jack, and she had no idea why she was being this way. She kept glancing over to the entranceway waiting for him to walk in, but he didn't.

Charlie and Hurley exchanged looks and then looked up to Kate who still stood in front of them. Looking off towards the other side of the caves. They could see she was really worried.

"Are you ok?" Hurley asked.

She glanced back to him and then to Charlie. They were both hit by the pathetic look she had displayed over her face. Fear was welled into her eyes as she stared at them. It seemed as if something was wrong.

"Are you having the baby or something?" He asked, as his eyes got wide.

Charlie jumped up and walked over to her before she could answer. He stood close as he tried to think of what to do.

"I don't know what to do, but like I told Cla-"

"I'm not having the baby." She announced.

Charlie backed off and lowered his shaky hands.

"I'm just worried about where he is."

"You're sure you're not having the baby?"

"Yes Charlie, I'm sure." She smiled resting her hand on his arm.

"Ok then. Nothing to worry about." He sighed walking past her.

She watched after him as he walked over to the boar that hung over the firs in which Walt, Lock, Michael, and the others sat at. As he pulled off some meat she looked away and over to Hurley who tried to by pass her stare.

Putting the boar meat into his hand, Charlie glanced up to see the other staring at him with question. They obviously heard what went on and wanted to know what happened. Before he could say anything he saw Jack emerge from the trail. Immediately he hurried over to him.

"Hey Charlie." He breathed wiping sweat from his forehead.

He sensed something wasn't right as Charlie looked away searching for what to say.

"What's wrong?"

"Kate, she uh came up to us all worried about where you were. She kept asking and we kept telling her we didn't know. She's acting like something was wrong and we thought she might be in labor or something."

The second Charlie said that Jack looked past him to Kate. Still she stood in front of Hurley. Her hand spread over her stomach oddly holding it to herself. He went to go for her, but Charlie stopped him.

"She said she was alright, but I really don't know so…"

"I'll take care of it, thanks Charlie." Jack said as he pushed past him and rushed over to Kate.

"Any…time." Charlie whispered as he watched him walk up to Kate.

Kate quickly turned around as if she felt his presence.

"Jack." She exclaimed.

He said nothing as his looked her over. Looking for signs if she was in labor or not.

"You ok?" He asked resting his hand on her shoulder.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?"

"Charlie said you were wondering where I was and acting really worried. He thought maybe you went into labor."

"I'm fine. I was just worried where you were." She sighed shrugging her shoulders.

"You sure. No pains? No w-"

"I'm fine Jack. Really." She tried to assure him.

"You really think I'd lie about going into labor?"

"Maybe." He smiled.

She took offense to it, but let it go. It didn't matter she was just happy he was back.

"You hungry?" He asked.

"Starving.' She said grabbing her stomach.

"Good. I went and picked some fruit for you." She said sliding his backpack off his shoulders.

Pulling out some mangos, he led her over to the fire next to Hurley. Sitting down, he even turned and questioned her health. She assured him along with the others that she was ok and wasn't in labor. Once that was settled her and Jack sparked up and easygoing conversation about cartoons and children's TV shows. Both seemed at ease, but Kate wasn't fooling Jack like she was the others. She was still worried about something.

Once the conversation turned Kate became quiet. After a while of just sitting there she gave in. Standing up she stretched and began away from the group. Heading towards the nursery cave, she thought no one noticed her leaving when in fact everyone seemed to watch her.

"Dude is she ok?" Hurley asked.

Jack pulled away from watching her disappear into the shadows and looked back to him.

"Yeah." He sighed.

"She just doesn't like it here. It puts too much anxiety on her."

"It's gotta be rough." Hurley said with raised brow as he looked back to the fire.

"With the baby being so close to being born and all she's gotta be going out of her mind." Charlie exclaimed.

"I'm surprised she hasn't tried to kill any of us in our sleep." Jack joked.

The two became silent. Their eyes curious as they stared at him. He could tell they thought he might be serious. Then again he kinda was. She was off end and he really didn't know what she was capable in the state she was in. Thinking about it he had the want to go and check on her. Make sure she was all right.

"I'll be back." He announced standing up.

Walking into the cave he saw her sitting on the bed with her back turned to him. Her legs were crossed Indian style in front of her. Her head hung as she looked over something in her lap. Slowly walking in he tried to make it out.

The instant she heard his footsteps on the ground behind she tried to hide what she had and turned around.

"Hey." She greeted him.

"Hey." He said back as he came closer to her.

She turned back and uncovered the object in her hand. It was the toy airplane that had been in the case with the guns. Sitting there twirling it around between her fingers she looked sad. Like a child who had lost their best friend.

"Going to bed?" He asked trying to change the mood around.

"Maybe." She sighed.

With another sigh, she bent over and gently placed the plane a top a suitcase against the wall. Sitting back her eyes turned to her stomach as the baby kicked. Resting her hand over her stomach she felt the oncoming of tears. She didn't know why, but she felt like just letting it all go like she had that morning.

Standing there he didn't know what to say to her. Usually when he didn't have the answer he came up with something that sounded right, but in this was different. He hadn't seen her like this before. She seemed so broken and lost. The only other time she was close to this was when he yelled out her about the safe. But he ended up redeeming himself with guava seeds. This time it wasn't his fault and he had no idea what to do to make her happy.

"Are you sure you're ok?" He asked sitting down next to her.

She slowly turned her head to look at him. The look in her eyes spoke exactly what she was feeling. Fear. The awaiting tears in her eyes sparkled in the firelight coming from outside the caves. He wanted to wipe them away and tell her again that everything was all right, but it didn't seem to help.

"Yeah." She whispered swallowing her tears.

"Just worried as usual." She laughed.

He could hear the tears on her voice as she tried to push them away.

"Worried about what?" He asked hoping talking about it would relieve of this stress.

"I was so scared when you didn't come back with the others. I kept thinking of the worse possible thing happening to you. Maybe you were lying in a ditch fighting to breath. Or maybe you were lost and couldn't find your way back. Then the real fear came when I thought about you not coming back. I started to panic about how I was going to have this baby without you."

"But it wasn't the fact that you're the doctor. It was that I have come to realized that without you I can't raise this baby." She said slowly droning into a whisper as she stared at him unblinking.

"Kate you're going to be fine. The baby is going to fine. I'm going to be fine. Nothing is going to happen. Just cause I came back a little late doesn't mean you have to go through this alone. And I understand what you're going through-"

"You have no idea what I'm going through Jack."

"Well I have some idea. The point is that it's ok to feel like this. But if you let it over take you, your going to have that baby sooner than any of us expect it." He warned motioning to the baby with his eyes.

"I can't help it Jack. I'm scared I'm going to lose you and this baby. I'm just scared ok?"

"I know that. I know you're scared, but nothing is going to happen. And even in the near impossible chance that something happens to me you have Sawyer."

"Sawyer? Are you serious?"

"You're trying to comfort me with Sawyer?" She questioned.

"I know he's not what you want as a father. But whether you see it or not. He's capable Kate. I mean out of all the things that separate us we do have one thing in common. We both will do anything in our power to keep you and that baby safe."

She almost felt selfish when he finished. She had to admit that she was worrying too much, but she couldn't help it. With all the hormones added with the happening of birth so close all she could do was worry.

"I'm sorry Jack." She said.

"I'm sorry I'm acting this way, but I can't help-"

"Don't be sorry. I mean it."

"Like I said when you kissed Sawyer, you can't control what's happening to you right now. I wish you could, but you can't. You're dealing with this the best you can. And you're doing a pretty good job at it all too." He smiled tucking a fallen lock of hair behind her ear.

"Really?"

"Really."

"You're doing great and you're going to do great with this child. You're going to be a great mother."

"We need to just take this step by step. None of this is going to hit you head on without you being ready and me being behind you to help you." He assured her.

"Thank you." She whispered trying to smile herself.

"Your welcome." He said a he leaned in and kissed her.

As he pulled back he saw a small tear trickle down her cheek. Cupping her face he wiped it away with his thumb before it made it all the way down her face.

"I think sleep is in order." She sighed with a laugh.

Turning around she literally pushed Jack off the bed. Sleep suddenly snuck up on her and was trying to win her over. Pushing herself down on the bed she turned on her side and readied herself to sleep. He bent over and helped her get settled. Once she began to drift off he wished her goodnight and headed out of the cave.

"Jack." She called stopping him.

He turned and looked down to her fighting sleep.

"Stay with me."

With a rewarding smile he walked over. Slowly he lowered himself to the ground next to the cot. Getting himself as comfortable as he could get on the ground he looked back to her.

"Goo-"

He stopped short seeing her fast asleep. Seeing her lay there in peace he felt himself become sleepy as well. Turning around he rested his head back on the edge of the bed. Closing his eyes he was asleep in an instant.

"Jack!"

Kate struggled to keep herself asleep as she heard someone call his name. She knew once she opened her eyes she wouldn't be able to go back to sleep.

"Jack!"

It came close this time. She could feel Jack moving around next to the bed. Was he awake? Did he hear it? He had to. If she could hear it in her sleep he had to be able too.

"Jack!"

As it came the third time it sounded as if the person was in the cave with her and Jack. She could dismiss it. Opening her eyes she was overcastted by the shadows of two figures. One being Jack and the other she couldn't make out.

By the sound of the frantic voice she realized it was Sun. She couldn't understand what she was ranting about, but it seemed serious. And it was. Jack quickly turned around and grabbed his leather backpack. The one with all his medical supplies.

When he rushed out of the cave with Sun, Kate sat up. She waited for a moment for him to come back in and tell her what was going on, but he didn't. Hearing the commotion out in the main caves curiosity got the best of her. She got up and followed them.

She wondered out to see Jack hurrying around telling people what to do. His pace was quick and it began to scare her. She was a sudden lost for words when she looked over to see Jin. He was sitting between Michael and Sun. His skin was lightly burnt and he coughed fighting for breath.

What was going on?

Something had happened out on the beach and it looked like that something was a fire. Turning her attention away from Jin as they tried to get him to drink, Kate looked over to see Jack. Now he had rounded up most of the men at the caves. They were all going back and forth filling up water bottles at the waterfall. Watching she counted at least 15 of them. This was serious.

Once they all seemed ready to go, Jack walked up to Charlie was looked to be going out of his mind. He kept question what he should do.

"Just stay here and please keep an eye on Kate." Jack breathed keeping half his attention on the people around him.

"What do you want me to tell her if she wakes up?"

"Tell her tha-"

"Jack what's going on?" Kate asked stepping up behind him.

His face and words froze as he heard her. Slowly he turned around to see her standing there looking around to the rushing people around her. Now that she was awake and saw what was going on he couldn't have someone lie to her about it.

"There is a fire at the beach." He announced.

"Oh my god?" She gasped.

"Is everyone ok? How bad is it?"

"I don't know."

She didn't trust his words. She could see in his eyes that he was holding something back. Something he didn't want her to know.

"Is the fire still going?"

"Yeah. We gotta leave now and go try and put it out." He said as he turned to leave.

"Jac-"

"It's going to be ok."

She didn't believe him. There was something more wrong than just a fire.

"I'm coming with you." She insisted.

"No. Stay here. I don't want to have to worry about you being around this fire."

"I don't want to sit here and worry about you being around it or in either."

"Please stay here." He begged her.

Rolling her eyes as she took a deep breath she realized she had to let him go. Nodding her head she stepped back.

"I'll be ok I promise."

With that he hurried off into the night with the others. All of them racing to the beach hoping to get there in time.

Kate began to worry. It hadn't even been five minute since he walked away from her and she began to worry. A sick feeling grew in the pit of her stomach as she sat down next to a shaken Charlie. Taking a deep breath she rolled her neck and tried not to think about it, but she knew that would be impossible.

Obviously seeing her worried, Sun got up and walked over. Sitting down next to her she began to think of something say. Something that could ease the uneasy feeling that everyone saw she had.

"He's going to be ok." She smiled.

Kate looked over and tried to push away the fear with her words.

"I know." Kate sighed.

"He's make it out and everything will be ok."

Sun's words struck her. She didn't understand what she meant by it.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean Jack will get him out and-"

"Jack will get who out?" Kate questioned as she suddenly began to feel vomit creeping up her throat.

Sun's eyes became wide when she realized Kate didn't know what was actually going on. Jack hadn't told her.

"Who are you talking about?" Kate questioned again with more dread in her voice.

"Sawyer." Sun replied in a low tone as she looked back to Kate.

Kate swallowed hard forcing herself not to get sick. Quickly she began to shake as she turned away. With slow and deep breath she forced herself to stand.

"What's going on at the beach?" She asked looking down to Sun.

Slowly she came and stood in front of Kate. Extending her hand she braced Kate by grasping her shoulders. She looked into her eyes and saw the question and tears as she prepared herself to shatter Kate's world.

"Sawyer's tent caught on fire." She began as her words quivered off her lips.

Kate felt her body go numb. If Sun hadn't been holding her up she would have fallen.

"He's trapped. Jin tried to go in an rescue him, but the flames were too much."

It took all of her strength to raise her hand to her mouth.

This can't be happening, she thought. Not to her. Not to Sawyer.

Although at times she hated Sawyer, she couldn't lose him. Not now. Not ever. And now Jack was racing off to save his life and probably risking his own. She was going to lose the two men most important to her in the same night. It was her worse nightmare come true.

Fear took over her body as she stood there and trembled in Sun's arms. Jack had lied to her. He promised nothing would happen to him. And if it did by some small chance she would have Sawyer. It was a lie. She was now going to lose both of them. She was going to be left alone with this baby.

Trying to calm herself and think about the baby she fought for strength.

"I'm going to the beach."

"Kate no you need to stay here." Sun tried to tell her.

"No I can't stay here knowing I could loose them." She cried as she headed of towards the trail.

Everyone heard her. As they watched her stumble and stagger quickly through the caves they all realized they needed to stop her. Charlie saw the state she was in and rushed up behind her.

"Kate you can't do this.' He exclaimed grabbing her by the arm.

She struggled against him and almost fell. Quickly he and Sun caught her and brought her to her feet. She was in no condition to be running to the beach.

"You need to think about the baby.' Sun warned as they tried to pull her back into the caves.

"Don't talk to me about the baby!" She shouted pulling from their grip.

They all stopped and let her go. Turning from them she hurried off into the darkness. Sun looked to Charlie and Locke wondering what to do.

"You two follow her. She won't make it to the beach." He said.

"What about Jin?" Sun asked looking back to her husband.

"We'll take care of him. You need to take care of her."

At the last of his words Charlie headed off. Rushing out into the jungle after Kate. He wasn't going to let her wonder off scared by herself. He wasn't going to let another person die because he didn't do anything.

Thinking about it Sun gave in. Quickly assuring Jin that she would be back, she ran off in the direction Charlie and Kate did before her. She like Charlie hoped they would reach Kate in time.

They found her halfway down the trail. Leaned up against a tree taking deep almost panicked breaths. She wasn't doing so well.

"Kate you need to come back to the caves." Sun said steeping up behind Charlie.

Kate shook her head before she spoke.

"No. I can't."

Both knew there was no way she was going to give in and head back. She was scared. Scared Jack and Sawyer were going to die. There was no way they could convince her they were ok without seeing them with her own eyes.

"All right then." Charlie said.

"We're goi-"

"Jack said to keep her at the caves." Sun pointed out.

"I know what he said, but she's not going to do it. So all we can do is go with her."

Both of them turned to see Kate bowled over taking deep breaths. She looked to be in pain. It worried them.

"Are you ok?" Sun questioned coming up and resting her hand on her back.

"Yeah, I just have some pains in my back from running." She breathed as she tried to stand.

Charlie came to her other side and helped her up. He could see along with Sun that it was hurting her to stand up strait.

"How about we take it a bit slower?' Charlie suggested.

"I'm fine. I don't need to go slower."

"Kate, please just take it at a normal pace. If you try and run all the way to the beach you're going to pass out.' Sun warned her.

"I'm fine, but ok." She said as they began to walk.

She wasn't fine. She was lying to herself and them. A sudden pain had crept up her back and was now making it hard for her too walk. It wasn't a constant pain. It only came on every few minutes. That told her what was happening and it scared her to death. But she could let it over take her. She needed to get to the beach and a little pain wasn't going to stop her.

The pains kept coming as they walked. She knew what going on, but she pressed on. Putting herself into denial she kept going.

Coming out onto the beach the three stopped in their place in shock. It was a scene of chaos. People running around carrying water in buckets from the water. Other moving charred objects across the beach.

Kate immediately looked over to Sawyer's tent. She nearly collapsed when she saw it. Flames raging over it. The bright oranges and yellows flying around in a massive clash trying to win over the fight to put it out. Shadowy figures races around its base throwing water onto it trying their best to win it over. It was a loosing battle the fire was winning.

She walked across the sand in a daze with her eyes glued to it. Sun and Charlie followed closely behind staring up to it in bemuse. Smoke clouded the air around them as they got closer and closer to it. Both behind her keeping an eye on her movement. They had not idea what she was going to do.

She didn't even feel the tears that rolled down her cheeks as she watched the flames devour Sawyer's tent and it's surroundings. She didn't even acknowledge the sudden pain the wrecked her body again. Again she passed it off as she stopped ten feet from the fire and just stared at it.

Pulling herself away from the carnage she was drawn to a movement in the fire near where the entrance to the tent was supposed to be. She studied it with unmoving eyes. Quickly a figure stumbled out of the inferno. The instant they were out they fell to the sand. Kate's stomach immediately dropped.

It was Jack.

Without out thought or judgment she picked up her feet and raced over. The two behind her became alarmed when they saw her.

"Kate!" They both yelled as they hurried after her.

Lying in the sand Jack heard her name being called and looked up. There he saw her running towards him like a madman as she looked between him and the fire.

"Jack!" She cried as she watched him come to his feet.

She almost didn't recognize him as she came close. He was almost completely black. Cover in ash and soot.

"Kat-" He coughed as the smoke started to bother his lungs.

"What are you doing here?" He questioned.

"Is he all right?"

She knew.

"What do you me-"

"Sawyer? Is he all right?" She cried grabbing onto his shirt.

Jack looked past her to see Sun and Charlie standing there shaking their heads. He wanted to blame them, but he couldn't. He knew Kate would get it out of them. Slowly looking back to her he fought for what to tell her. Seeing the terror in her eyes he knew he couldn't lie.

"I don't know Kate." He whispered.

Her lips quivered as she began to cry.

How couldn't he know? He had to.

"Now I need you to go back to the ca-"

"No I'm not going back there!"

He knew that she wouldn't go. There was no way of making her. He also knew Sawyer was fighting for life inside and he had to go back in and get him.

"I need to go back in there and get him." He exclaimed pulling away from her.

"Jack!" She screamed after him as he covered himself and ran back into fire.

He didn't hear her and she knew that. She stood there not knowing what to do. So many thoughts her head. Taking them all in she jumped at the least rational. She headed after him.

Charlie and Sun freaked out and ran up to the fire. Both screaming her name hoping she would turn back. But she didn't.

Heat enveloped Kate as she walked through the fire. Flames came up and nipped her skin burning it instantaneously. Smoke quickly took the place of oxygen and so began her fight to breath. Covering her eyes trying to shield them from the bright flames as she pushed her way through.

Looking around she began to panic. She couldn't find Jack and she couldn't breath. Opening her mouth to scream for him she sucked in a gulp of smoke.

"Ja-"

She couldn't even scream his name. The smoke she took in put her into a coughing fit as she struggled to breathe and find Jack.

Walking farther into the fire she quickly became lightheaded. The heat and lack of air weren't good for her. It wasn't good for everyone, but she was pregnant and she was risking her life along with that of her baby.

"Jack!"

She finally got his name out before something came tumbling down in front of her. Barely missing her. It scared her so bad she tripped and fell backwards into the sand. That sudden pain came again and now she became to fear for her life.

Looking up she realized she was surrounded by flames and there was no way of standing up without being burned. She started to cry and cough as she continued to struggle for breath. Quickly everything became dizzy.

It seemed like forever that she sat there. The heat put her into an intoxicated like daze. Everything was blurred into a mix of colors. Her eyes began to water as the smoke came on stronger. If she sat there much longer she wasn't going to make it.

She couldn't didn't even see Jack as he pushed his way through the flames over to her. All she heard was mumbling as he crouched down next to her. Her heart fluttered and her stomach turned into knots when she saw him. She fought to say something him, but as her mouth opened nothing came out. When he touched her with his fingertips felt like the fire around her. It burned. Her mind was swirling as she tried to keep herself conscious. All she could do was wrap her arms around her stomach and stare at Jack.

Suddenly her attention was caught as another figure came up. She thought and hoped it was Sawyer, but it turned out to be Charlie. He had pushed his way through the fire like she had. When he looked over and saw the two on the ground and her grasping her stomach he quickly raced over not thinking about himself.

She watched through her heavy lids as the two shouted out each other. She couldn't make out any of the words. It was just sound to her. The crackling of the fire as it ate away at her surrounds was all she could really hear. Looking back to her they quickly stopped and came to either side of her. She almost screamed as their hands came around her. Their touch hurt so badly, but she knew they were only trying to help.

Both of them pulled her to her feet. Jack let go and came in front of her guarding her from the flames as they walked through them. He rather risk his life than to do so with her's.

They almost had to drag her out. The less and less she saw the fire she more and more it became easier for her to breath, but still her lungs were filled with the smoke she took in and it was certainly pulling her body apart.

Once they got close to the outside Jack stopped and pulled away from her. He said something to Charlie and then looked to her. He said something she couldn't make out and then turned away. She fought hard against Charlie to go back in after him, but her strength was gone. Taking control he had to practically carry her out to the beach.

The moment she felt a breeze across her face she seemed to wake up and out of her daze. She could suddenly hear, but still it was hard to breath. She looked up and saw Sun running up with a water bottle in her hand. When the water hit her lips she welcomed it freely.

The cool liquid eased the burning itch in her throat. Taking another sip she pushed it away. Balancing herself in the sand she slowly awakened as people began rushing up to her.

"Is she all right?"

"What happened?"

Adjusting her eyes and body she quickly realized Jack had ran back into the fire. Turning she tried her best to pull away from them.

"Jack.."

"Jack is fine." They tried to assured her as they turned her away from the fire,

She called his name again as they led her across the beach. They tried their best to keep her from looking back to fire. They felt at ease with the fact that she didn't have the strength go running off again, but still she didn't need to see what was happening. Not in her state.

Before Jack went back into the fire, he told Charlie to take her back to her old tent and watch her. That was what he planned on doing. But plans didn't always go through.

Midway down the beach Kate stopped. Her eyes went wide and her hand came quickly over her stomach. She became scared as she felt something trickle down her leg. Her heart began to race instantly.

"Oh god." She gasped.

"What?" Sun asked.

Kate's eyes wondered down to the sand to a small puddle was underneath her.

"My water just broke."

The two froze. Slowly their eyes traveled down to the sand to see the same thing she did.

"Are you bloody kidding me?" Charlie exclaimed.

Kate dug her nails into her stomach as she began to take panicked breaths.

"I have to go get Jack!" She shouted trying again to pull away from them.

"No. You need to got sit down." Charlie said as the two began to rush her toward her tent.

"But I can't have this baby without Jack."

They two said nothing as they led her into the tent. Sun sat her down on her abandoned bed as Charlie searched for wood to start a fire. Once he got on going they could all see the worry on each other's faces. Theirs seemed worse than hers was, but they knew she was worse inside.

"I need Jack." She said again as she tried to stand.

Before they could stop her she was clutching her back and trying her hardest to sit back down. She clenched her fist as she fought off the pain, but it was too much for her. She couldn't move. All she could do was stand there and try and bear through it.

Sun came to her side and took her arm. Again she felt as if he skin was burning. Looking down to her arm she saw that it in fact was burnt badly. But she pushed through it as Sun helped her sit on the bed. She knew she needed to rest, but she also needed Jack.

"I need Jac-." She coughed.

Sun picked up the discarded water bottle and handed it to her. Taking a sip she nearly choked as she tried to swallow it. Her lungs began to burn as she started to cough again. With her fear and crying the she couldn't stop coughing long enough to take a breath. Still she pushed herself to take another sip. Swallowing it slowly she took deep breath, which in turned calmed her body down.

Both looked to her. The soot and ash covering her face couldn't cover up the pain spread across it. Her brow was furrowed and her jaw tightened as she battled the constant pain she was in. If it wasn't the pain in her back it was her chest or her skin burning.

Charlie and Sun tried to think of what to do. They couldn't just go and get Jack. He was in that inferno trying to save Sawyer as Kate was beginning her battle with labor. They had to do something.

Before anyone decided on what to do the pain hit again. This time it was stronger and lasted longer. She wanted to rip apart something, anything to help her through the pain. All she could do was grip onto Sun's arm a groan through the pain.

Sun tried to comfort, but knew it was no use. The only person that could help her was Jack.

"You have to get Jack." Sun told Charlie.

"But he's in th-"

"I know. But she needs him.'

Charlie took a deep breath as he stared at Kate. She wasn't looking to either of them. She sat silent holding onto her stomach. He felt so bad for her having to go through this like she was. He almost began to cry seeing a tear fall from her face to sand. He knew what he had to do.

"I'll be right back." He said as he began out of the tent.

Before he did, he stopped and squatted down in front of Kate.

"It's going be ok." He assured her with a smile.

Then he got up and hurried out of the tent. Racing down the beach as fast as he could.

It wasn't very long until he came back. His head hung as he walked in. The instant Sun and Kate saw him they knew something was wrong.

"Where is he?" Kate asked her voice horse from coughing.

As he looked up they saw the tears in his eyes.

"He…he didn't make it." He whimpered.

In an instant Kate broke down. She crumbled. Sun quickly took her in her arms and held her close as she cried.

"What about Sawyer?" Sun asked.

"He's fine."

Kate froze and looked up to Charlie for an explanation on how that was even possible.

"He made it out on his own before Jack did. When they told him Jack was in there he went after him, but it was …it was too late."

Kate closed her eyes as she continued to cry. She was completely and utterly lost. She couldn't even comprehend what Charlie was saying. She couldn't believe that Jack was dead. She couldn't until she saw it for herself.

Without words she came to her feet.

"I want to see him."

"Kate I don't thi-"

"I don't care what you think. I want to see him." She growled.

They didn't stop her as she pushed past Charlie and walked out onto the beach. Walking out after her they stood close knowing once she saw what happened she would loose it.

She traveled slowly across the beach. The whole time she cried silently to herself. She wasn't going to let herself believe he was dead. She couldn't. But once she came walking up the truth hit her hard.

All eyes were on her as she approached the scene. It was silent as she walked through the crowd to his body. The moment she saw him she fell to her knees. Everyone jumped up and went for her, but realized it was best to leave her alone.

Her eyes wondered over the sight before her. Him lying there nearly burnt completely black. She couldn't tell the difference between his skin or his clothes it was so bad. Then she looked to his face. His lips were hung open and his eyes were shut. All she wanted to do was reach out and touch him. Maybe he'd wake up if she touched him, she thought.

As her fingertips ran over his rough skin she stared at his eyes begging him to open them. He didn't. The moment she realized that she grabbed the side of his face and wouldn't let go. The realization of it all took over. Tears came as she broke down. Leaning over him she rested herself up against his body as she cried.

Tears fell from everyone's faces as they watched her. Lying there gripping him and holding him close to her. Her shrieks filled the air causing some too look away. It was too much. Too much for them. Too much for her.

Sun turned away too see Sawyer sitting in the sand closest to the dimming fire. His body covered in blackness like Kate and Jack's. She felt good for once to see him. Knowing Kate still had somebody it put her at ease, but still she worried knowing Kate was in labor as she clung to Jack.

Slowly she walked over to him. His eyes wondered up to her as she approached him. She took a deep breath as she crouched down in front of him.

"She needs you right now."

"She's not going to want me right now." He whispered looking over to her still lying there with Jack.

"She went into labor Sawyer."

Sawyer's eyes snapped back to Sun.

"After Charlie and Jack pulled her from the fire-"

"Why was she in the fire?" He questioned.

"She went it after you two."

"Shit." He gasped running his fingers through his hair.

"Her contractions are really close together, which means she's going to have this baby tonight." Sun explained.

"And without Jack. She's gonna need you to be there."

"Then what are we waiting for?" He asked as he came to his feet.

He pushed through the crowd and slowly walked up to Kate. He tried his hardest not to look at Jack, but he couldn't help it.

Thoughts ran through his mind as he sat next to her. He didn't know what to say or what to do. He was actually more scared of what she was going to do. But she was in labor and she didn't need to be there.

"Kate." He whispered.

She didn't move.

"Kate you need come with me back to your tent."

"I can't have this baby without him." She cried.

"Yes you can. I'm going to be right there with you." He said trying to convince her.

"No."

He sighed with aggravation. She wasn't going to listen.

"You don't want to have this baby out here in the sand do you?"

Her eyes opened and she looked up to him. She was taken back by his blackened face, but was some how comforted by look in his eyes. Seeing him sitting there trying to get her to come with him told her he was serious. She knew she had to go with him.

Nodding her head she slowly pulled away from Jack. Looking back down to him she sniffed back her tears. It felt wrong to leave him, but she had to. Sawyer was right she couldn't have this baby in the sand. Quickly leaning down she left a kiss on his lifeless lips. Brushing her hand down his chest she pushed herself away.

Sawyer came behind her and helped her up. As they got to their feet they saw Charlie and Sun standing by ready to take her back to the tent. Slowly her and Sawyer began to walk across the sand. Closing her eyes she let her feet drift along with Sawyer's guidance. She didn't have the willpower to care where she was going.

Feeling Sun and Charlie next to her, she opened her eyes to see she was close to the tent. Taking a deep jagged breath she looked over her shoulder back to where Jack's body lay. She became choked up again as she watched Michael and Locke walk up to him with a tarp in their hands. She stared back at his motionless body until the draped the tarp over it. Still that didn't turn her eyes. She only turned away as she was lead wearily into her tent.

The next two hours were a blur to Kate. A mix between pain and overwhelming sorrow. She was on the verge of giving up. Her body ached, but her heart ached more. She couldn't get her mind around the fact that he was gone. It was hell for her to look up and not see him. She was terrified of what was going to happen.

She was so out of it. Her mind wasn't working right anymore. All she saw was images of Jack. His lifeless body. She soon lost the fact that was having a baby.

"Push!"

She didn't acknowledge it. She didn't hear their commands. She could barely feel the pain of the baby pushing it's way out. She didn't acknowledge anything until she felt a body in her arms.

Slowly her mind pushed back into reality and her eyes wondered down to arms. There lay her child, but something wasn't right. It didn't move. It didn't cry. Its eyes were closed. She looked up from the child to the three before her for some kind of answer.

Charlie sat with his head lowered. Sun couldn't even look at her. Turning to Sawyer she saw the dread on his face as he fought away tears. He shook his head as he moved over to her.

"I'm sorry Kate." He whimpered looking away from her to the baby.

"I'm so sorry." He said looking up to her again as his own tears fell from his eyes.

Kate looked back to the baby in her arms. It just lay there so still, so perfect. Her body began to shake without her noticing. Her eyes welled up as she took the baby's small hands in hers. She was so in enamored of this child. She couldn't turn away. Not even when she felt Sawyer take her into his arms.

Staring down at body in her arms she began to sob uncontrollably. She didn't understand why this was happening to her. First Jack, now her child. At that moment she felt so angry with Jack. He lied to her. Everything he said was a lie. She was alone now even as she lay in Sawyer's arms.

She saw Sun get up out of the corner of her eye. She slowly came over and sat down next to her. Kate couldn't look up to her. She couldn't look away from the baby. But once the emotions and her tears became too much she closed her eyes hoping it would all go away.

The moment she closed her eyes she felt the weight of the baby being lifted from her arms. They were taking in away from her the way they took her away from Jack. She didn't want them taking it. She wanted to hold it forever in her arms.

Wrapping her arms around it she suddenly felt nothing but air. It was too late. They had already taken it from her. As her arms crashed down upon her chest she began to open her eyes thinking she'd see them before they took it completely away from her. But once she opened them all she saw was darkness.

Her heart began to race as she question what was going on. She saw no one. Not Sawyer, Charlie, or Sun. Just total darkness.

Where was she?

She lay where she was for a moment as everything that happened rushed through her mind. Slowly sitting up her eyes focused on what was around her. She saw her clothes, some baby toys, and then the crib.

She was in the caves.

In and instant her hand and eyes came to her stomach. She was overjoyed yet confused when she saw that she was still pregnant. At first she thought there was no way this was happening. She remembered it all to vividly. The fire, the heat, the fear, then Jack dying, her given birth, and her holding that lifeless child in arms. It was all too real.

It was a dream. All of it was a dream. No it wasn't a dream, she thought. It was a nightmare. A horrifying nightmare she was having trouble getting over.

Dwelling on it she looked around and felt for once comforted by the rocky walls that surrounded her. But soon she became fearful again. Jack wasn't there. She wanted to let herself panic. She wanted to let herself become fearful and unhinged. But she didn't. She knew she couldn't do that. She couldn't let herself worry knowing he was probably right outside the cave perfectly alive and ok.

Getting up she almost raced out. She was comforted to see that everyone was lying asleep in his or her usual places. Her eyes wondered over each one of them. Silently thanking God they were there. But once she looked up and saw him sitting next to the waterfall she couldn't help but become over whelmed.

"Jack." She called out in a quivering voice.

Hearing her voice he stood.

"Kate?"

She said nothing as she jumped over the bodies that lay between them. Walking up, she threw herself upon him and wrapped her arms around him. For a moment he didn't know what to do, but then instinct kicked in and he wrapped his arms around her. The minute she felt his hand on her back she began tremble.

Pulling him closer she held onto him tight. She didn't want to let go. His smell and his breath overwhelmed her. Feeling his arms around her she began to cry.

"Kate?" He questioned pull back from her.

"What's wrong?"

She was crying so hard she couldn't talk. Without her words he could make a pretty good guess as to what was wrong.

"Another nightmare?"

Nodding her head she wiped away her tears. Again she said nothing as she pulled him back into her arms.

"It's ok." He tried to assure her as he held her close to him.

The two stood for a while in each other's arms. None of the others flinched as she sobbed uncontrollably on his shoulder. He was silent as he let her cry thinking it was best for her to let it out. Once she calmed down he led her back to the cave were she proceeded to tell him what happened.

"It was so real Jack." She continued.

"I mean I saw you're body laying there. You were dead."

"Well I not.' He spoke up rubbing her back.

She looked up to him from the daze she had with the ground. The small smile on his face reassured her more than his words ever could. Gazing at him she couldn't help, but let a smiled creep over her face.

"I'm here." He reminded her.

Taking a deep breath her smiled faded.

"I know that, but I can't shake the feeling."

"It was so real." She whispered lowering her head.

She had had nightmares before, but nothing like this. He could tell it affected her more than the others had. She had almost believed he was dead along with the baby. It was a scary thought even to him, and he couldn't even begin to imagine what it was like for her.

"You know what?' He asked coming to his feet before her.

Her eyes slowly wondered up to his. She couldn't make them out in the darkness, but she knew they held an honest look.

"I think you need to get away from the caves. Me and you should go to the beach." He suggested.

"Now?" She questioned.

"Yeah."

"Jack it's not the sun isn't even up."

"I know. I thought maybe we could watch the sunrise." He said as a smile took over his lips.

"I don't think I've seen the sunrise here."

"It's really is really beautiful."

She sat for a moment thinking about it. It didn't sound like a bad idea. And maybe it would help her to get away for a while. Ease all the thoughts.

"Ok." She agreed.

"Come on then." Jack exclaimed taking her by the hand.

Standing next to him, he pulled away. Gathering their things in his bag he pulled it over his shoulder. Heading out behind her, they quietly made their way around the bodies lying scattered amongst the cave floor. Coming to the beginning of the trail and the end of the caves they stepped into the jungle. To the beach was where they were going hopefully to escape.


	19. Conjuring Woes

_Here it is! I know it took me forever as usual, but i'm lazy (wink) As always i hope you guys enjoy this and thank you for reading and tellnig me what you think._

_Remember reviews are make my day! _**  
**

**Conjuring Woes**

Kate talked off and on about her nightmare. Explaining the real sense that every thing had. Jack had been worried and put off of course when she came running over to him crying, but as she talked so vividly about it he began to question what was going on in her head.

Not that he thought she was crazy or anything, but her worrying had completely passed worrying. He didn't know if he could call it anxiety anymore. Having trouble sleeping was one thing, but nightmares about him and the baby dying that she almost swore were real was hitting it completely out of the ballpark.

Once the dirt changed to sand she got quiet. It had been almost a month since she had been on the beach. A month since she had seen Sawyer. And after her dream it seemed like a lifetime.

Walking closely at Jack's side she eyed everything they came along. All the while wondering if Sawyer was awake. If he was ok. She hadn't wondered about Sawyer this much since the whole month he didn't talk to her after she slept with Jack. And even then she didn't pray that he'd come waltzing up.

"Well look who it is."

Instantly she perked up with his voice. Looking over towards Jack, she saw him walking up.

"If it isn't the Doc and the momma." He smirked.

"What are you two doing in my neck of the woods so early?"

"Walking." Kate answered.

It was hard for her to look at him and not feel mad. She didn't know why she was mad at him. Maybe it was because he never came to see her. Maybe it was the nightmare and the sad fact that if something had happened to him the last time she had seen him was a month ago. Whatever it was it was a sudden feeling she didn't ask for.

"Just a walk?"

"Do you want it to be something more Sawyer?" Kate shot as she turned away from the two.

The two were completely silent and taken back by her fierceness. Jack slightly expected it with the way she had been acting, but Sawyer was absolutely confused by her sudden out lash.

"What in the hell is her problem?" He questioned, his eyes still on her as she walked through the camp aimlessly.

Watching her disappear behind her old tent, Jack turned to Sawyer with a heavy sigh.

"The pregnancy."

"We all know that."

"She's got a really bad anxiety problem." Jack began.

"And?"

"She's not sleeping. Barely eating. She's worrying more than any pregnant woman should." Jack explained as their attention was turned back to her walking down the beach.

"What do you expect her to do when she pregnant in this damn place? Knit?" Sawyer questioned glancing to Jack.

"She's having nightmares where the baby is taken from her. In one she was running from that thing in the jungle and she fell into a pool of blood. In another a wave takes her and the baby, but only it drowns."

"She thinks were going to get rescued and the government is going to take it from her."

"Damn." Sawyer sighed running his fingers through his hair. He had no idea she was that worried.

"That isn't the worst of it..." Jack began.

"Last night she had a dream your tent caught on fire and I left her at the caves to get you out. She ended up coming down to the beach and going into the fire after us. Charlie ended up getting her out and she went into labor. Once she did they went to go tell me and I ended up dead, but you survived. Then when she had the baby it was dead."

"She woke up less than an hour ago from that dream. She came up to me crying. Swearing it was real."

Sawyer was at a loss for words as Jack told him this. His eyes went wide as they both turned to see her standing in the surf. Her hand across her stomach as she stared down upon it in a daze.

"You need to get her to stop that shit." Sawyer exclaimed turning away when the thoughts became too much.

"Don't you think I've tried to calm her down?" Jack challenged.

"If she keeps worrying about this she's going to go into an early labor and none of us are ready for that…"

Jack turned and looked back to Kate.

"Especially her."

He left Sawyer with those words. Turning in one swift movement he headed across the beach towards Kate. He didn't look back to see what reaction he had, but he knew his eyes were glued on her. His head full of the same worries he had.

He was almost afraid to approach her, as she stood unmoving in the sand. Looking down to the sand he saw that she was sinking and a smile couldn't help but come over his face.

"You ok?" He asked standing next to her.

She was silent at first as she glanced over to him. Then she turned back looking out over the water. Her messy curls loosening themselves from their pinned back state as the wind blew across her face.

"Yeah.' She sighed lowering her gaze to her stomach again.

"Letting the dream get to you?"

"Yeah." She said with a lighthearted smile as she nodded her head.

Leaning closer to her, he wrapped his arm around her and held her close. He didn't say anything for a long while. Just let her know he was there and nothing was going to change that.

"Come on." He finally said pulling away from her.

"What?" She questioned turning to him.

"We're going to watch the sunrise." He said.

"But we a-"

"Come on.' He smiled taking her by the hand.

Without question or defiance she followed him. Slightly confused about where they were going, but still she was hushed as they walked away from the camp down the beach.

They stopped about a quarter of a mile away from where they had originally been standing. Jack slid his backpack off of his shoulder and pulled a blanket out. Laying it out on the sand her helped her to sit down.

Again she was silent. Facing the ocean, she sat next to him unmoving and quiet just watching the waves come in and go back out. He on the other hand would speak every once and while to try and see if she would show some interest, but as usual for that morning she said nothing.

"It's weird how Sawyer is the only on up. I'd expect someone else to be up." He commented trying again to see if she would take the bait.

"It is early but no-"

"Jack it's hard enough to try and calm myself down without you talking." She snapped glancing quickly over to him and back to the water.

"Well I just thought talking about something would get your mind off of everything."

"It's not."

She let out a groan as she closed her eyes.

"Now I have to pee." She moaned coming to her feet.

Jack thought to help her, but let her be. He just sat there and watched her wipe the sand off. With another groan she turned and trudged up the sand towards the tree line.

"Don't follow me." She warned.

And he didn't. He didn't get up a few minutes after her and head after her. He thought it best to leave her alone right then. Let her go off with herself.

He wasn't mad or angry with her for acting the way she was. She was going through a lot and she probably felt she was alone in all of it. Deep down she knew she wasn't, but she couldn't look that deep down. With the worrying hiding the truth it was hard to over look it.

After relieving herself of that constant annoyance she seemed to always be plagued with, she headed back towards the beach. As she made her way through the jungle she began to think. Did she really wanna go back? Did she wanna go back and sit in the flea-covered sand with Jack as he tried to make pointless small talk?

It wasn't that she was annoyed or mad at Jack; it was just the bother of him trying too hard. She knew he was doing his best to help her not worry, but he had no idea what she was going through and therefore had no right to be trying to help her.

It was then she decided a peaceful walk around the outskirts of the jungle would do her good. Without out Jack's constant supervision maybe she could let all her thoughts escape her. Maybe she could let go for a moment before she had to turn back to reality.

She had turned and headed away from the beach back towards the caves. Not really thinking Jack would actually let her go off alone with her being so far along and obviously out of her mind, she thought he'd probably head back to the caves or come looking for her. Since she hadn't seen or heard him following she suspected her let her be and headed back to the caves. With giving up the nagging thought of his annoyance she headed on.

Wondering without direction, she didn't care to notice the vibrant surroundings that grew around her. The tall, but level trees full of bright colors that were overshadowed by the grimness of the constant green that whitewashed. The calling birds as they flew overhead with some warning or dictation upon their wings. She hardly managed to feel the sticky heat that coiled over her skin. Slowly trying to collapse her body within.

Some of that she wanted in and the rest she could deal without. She pushed to look around and try and keep focus on what bordered her way as she carried along. Her mind was more fixated on everything that was had been going on up till that moment along with the moments that were soon to take place.

Glancing down to her stomach she waltzed her fingers little by little across her busting budge that was scarcely covered by one of Jack's button down shirts. Her mind began to wonder how it all came to this. How fast everything happened. It felt like just the day before she was lying on the beach with Jack looking up at the stars. Sadly yesterday was the day her mind basically went out and she thought she had lost Jack. And this life inside of her.

Tears stung the corners of her eyes as her numerous nightmares fought to irritate her mind. She didn't want to think about loosing Jack, or Sawyer, or this life she didn't even know yet. Just the thought of something or someone taking this child from her seemed callous, but somewhat deserving from her past's standpoint.

Did she really deserve this child?

Quickly she drove it all out of her mind as she lifted her head. Her eyes slowly wondered around. Something wasn't right. Doing it once again she came to the slow and eerie realization that nothing looked familiar. Taking the third glance she was for sure the jungle that surrounded her was a place she had never seen before.

The trees had turned from leveling tall to stalking giants. The vibrant colors had been more than whitewashed, there was no color but deep green that swirled quickly into black. No bids called overhead to give warning. And oddly enough the heat had dropped into a bitter chill that nipped her bones. The comprehension made her question.

Where was she?

Had she been so far into thought that she didn't pay attention where she was going?

Her thoughts were quickly interrupted by a sound behind her. At first she brushed it off as the wind, but when it came again the knowledge of a presence wouldn't leave her alone. Again the sound of rustling leaves and branches startled her.

Unflinching she slowly turned around and peered through the trees around her. Was someone following her? If so then who? Hearing it come again and drawing nearer she didn't the first thing that came to her mind. Instinct.

"Jack." She called out in near whisper.

Expecting him to call her name back to her, she walked cautiously towards the sound. When she didn't hear the calming sound of his voice and the sound came again, she stopped. Was it really Jack? Had he followed her out into obscurity?

"Jac-"

A loud roar interrupted her. It was a sound she knew all too well, yet had no idea what it was. Snapping her head around she came to see trees quickly being pulled from the ground. Her eyes went wide as the broken down trees were coming closer and closer to her along with the dreadful sound. Hearing it shatter through the air again her heart began to race.

Without a thought or plan of action she did the only thing she knew to do. Run.

Turning away from the sight and sound she began to run quickly in the other direction. With her feet lifting her body tirelessly across the jungle floor she glanced over her shoulder to see trees barreling through the air after her. If she slowed in the slightest they would come in contact with her as would that thing.

Facing back in the direction she ran she put all her energy into getting away from whatever this was. Hearing the sound come again she was hit with images of her nightmare that was in an eerie similarity with this reality. In an instant her hand came over her stomach, feeling that with her hand over it she could protect it.

She almost relieved to feel the baby kick as she ran. Pulling her attention away from it she listened for the beast behind her. The roar came again, but dimmed. Glancing over her shoulder she didn't see the trees flying into the air anymore. Maybe it turned away from following her. Still not trusting it she went with her gut and kept running.

After a few minutes the sound was almost too faint to be heard. She slowed. Almost coming to a walk she looked again over her shoulder. She saw nothing. Listening she didn't hear anything. It was gone. Hopefully.

With a deep breath she rested up against a tree. Bending over she tried her best to catch her breath and clam herself down. It soon became an obstacle when she looked up and had no idea where she was again. Nothing around her looked familiar. The trees looked different from anything she had seen near the caves and beach. Looking to the ground she saw no trail or evidence that anyone had walked this part of the jungle floor. She didn't know why she was going over this again and it wasn't helping the main factor.

She was lost.

Fear wrecked her body as she stood up against the tree. She arched her back as the soreness of it was irritated by the hard bark. The feel of the life inside her moving didn't help the situation. With that feeling Jack's words fought inside her mind with her fear.

"_Stress can cause an early labor." _

This wasn't stress. She begged for stress at that point. This was down right horror. Looking around as she wrapped her hands tightly around her budging stomach she began to worry about everything thing that came into her mind.

Where was she?

What if she was out there for days before someone found her?

What if she was never found?

What if she went into labor?

What was she going to do?

The thoughts and questions became too much. Tears came down upon her face. She tried her hardest not to get upset, but she was scared. Soon she began to blame herself.

"Stupid Kate." She cursed herself.

Taking a deep breath she grasped tighter at her stomach. The feeling of the baby moving within her used to be comfort, but now it was a constant reminder of what could happen. She needed to calm herself down before she made things worse.

Sweat began to drip down her forehead and mix with her tears. This wasn't working. She was eight months pregnant and lost. With the heat and her worry she wasn't going to last long.

Her mind stopped in that moment when she heard faint footsteps. She almost fought against it remembering what happened only moments before, but her curiosity got her.

Pushing herself off the tree she looked off into the direction they were coming from. As she slowly began to walk away from her safe tree she prayed the sound she was hearing was Jack. Although she doubted it would be.

The footsteps were overridden by the sound rustling leaves. Kate instinctively looked over her shoulder for any monsters following her. When the sound came again and closer she thought to call out to see who it was. Thinking more about it she decided against it. Who knew if it was actually one of the survivors and not one of "them"? Instead she stopped where she was and waited.

"Kate?"

She stood completely strait hearing that voice. It was Jack. Or her mind playing tricks on her. In that moment she was willing to take the risk.

"Ja-"

All of a sudden the ground behind her was tossed up into the air as that horrifying roar screeched. Debris came down all around her hitting her carelessly across her body as she began to panic. Her heart raced as she looked over her shoulder. It was no more than ten feet from her and heading her way. Quickly she went off running in the other direction.

Past the trees and over the untouched ground she ran. Her mind running on nothing but horror. She dare not look back to see if it was still there, for she could feel its breath upon her back and hear its calls as it hurried after her.

Her body was slowly giving out at this point as she pushed her self as hard and fast as she could. Her legs ached and her breath was jagged, but she couldn't stop. If she did it was all over.

She was immediately taken back when a pair of arms came around her, pulling her off her course. Quickly she was pressed against as body. With every ounce of strength left in her she failed her arms against this person as she struggling to break free.

"Kate. Kate." The person called cupping her face.

Kate opened her eyes wide and looked up to see Jack.

"Jack!" She cried swinging her arms around his neck.

"We have to move!" He ordered as the howl of what was following them came close behind them.

Taking her hand he drug her back into a run. Moving as fast as they could, it seemed they'd never outrun it. Never make it to a safe place where its ghostly state couldn't pass through. Not until her again pulled her off course and into through a small entryway erected amongst wines and bamboo.

Coming behind her he pushed forth hurriedly into darkness speckled with small rays of light. Never letting his hand off her back they came to a wall. A dead end. They stopped. It suddenly became silent. All that was heard were their heavy breaths upon each other.

Sucking in the air around her, Kate tried to calm herself down. Still knowing Jack was right there she was scared. Her body shook as she tried to regain her breath.

"Jack?" She called out into the darkness as she reached out for him.

"I'm here." He whispered taking her hands in his.

Feeling his fingertips upon her body relieved her. Grabbing them tight she pulled him close to her. She needed the security of his body warmth.

"What the hell is that th-"

"Shh."

"But it's gone."

"We don't know that. Just because we can't hear it doesn't mean it's not there."

"So what are we going to do?"

"We're going to wait."

Pressing herself up against him, she let out a deep sigh. She didn't want to wait there. She wanted to back to the caves and sit down. Feeling the heat of his hand over her stomach she knew what he was thinking about. It was exactly what she was thinking about as she let her eyes close. Standing shrouded in darkness in his arms she held onto him tight. Taking deep calming breaths, she tried not to let the fear dominate her as she felt a painful twinge crawl up her back. She hoped it was just back pain.

They stood silent clinging to each other for an unknown amount of time. Between the stinging in her chest and the undeniable pain in her back that drifted back and forth, Kate tried to rest. It was a hard task to accomplish with the fear of what crept up her back.

"Kate."

Her eyes fluttered open, yet she saw the same she had with her eyes closed.

"Kate."

Again he called her name.

"Jack."

"Come on." He said as his arms left her and his hand came up to her hand.

Grabbing a hold of it, she let him lead her out. Her eyes didn't move from the spot in front of her. She couldn't see anything, even Jack. Quickly the outline of his body was seen as light shined in front of them. Before she knew it there were out amidst the jungle again. Her eyes darted around wondering if it was safe. As they landed on him in front of her she could see his caution as they walked.

He stopped for a moment and turned back to her. His eyes closed as he took a deep breath. Opening them he let his breath waver over his lips as his sadness became apparent.

"Are you ok?"

His question was heavy with a sort of guilt only Jack could hold. He felt bad about what had just happened. He felt bad about her fear.

Lowering her head she tried to hide tears that again came to her eyes. She wasn't scared of being lost anymore, but she was just scared. Breathing in the tears she nodded her head in reply to his question.

Without warning she sucked her breath quickly between her teeth, as the throbbing pain abruptly took over her senses in that brief second. Closing her eyes she out waited it hoping Jack didn't notice what was happening.

"Are you sure you're ok?"

He had noticed. She couldn't believe she could try and put something like this past Jack. Still judging herself on that with the pain burrowing back into her body she tried to pass it off.

"Yeah." She said exhaling the breath she had sucked in.

She was lying. She wasn't fine and she knew that. It wasn't something she could hide for long, but it was something she'd try and put past herself if she could.

"Just overwhelmed."

A nervous laugh escaped her trying to cover up her weakness that exuded from her clearly. Looking up to Jack she searched his eyes for let go. The let go of the concern he had of her in that minute. Seeing it fade into his mind as other thoughts resurfaced she took a long deep breath.

Pulling her eyes away from him, they wondered around their surroundings. Yet again she wondered where she was. Everything was so far from anything she had seen on the island.

"We should head back." Jack announced with heavy sigh calling Kate's attention.

She saw his wondering stare to the sky and it's lower dwellings as she had been. Seeing her look of readiness he too turned his eyes back.

With a comforting, yet uneasy smile he came to her side and placed a guiding hand upon her back. Giving her own unnerving smile she turned from him and looked forward as they walked. His presence again didn't ease her thought. They came on again except this time they were of what was happening to her at that moment. Silently she hoped whatever it was had passed.

The two didn't say a word as they traveled back into familiar territory. Glancing over her shoulder, Jack had that look of guilt on his face as he carried on close behind her. She knew he felt bad for not following her right when she got up. There was nothing she could do to reassure him it wasn't his fault. He was going to take the blame no matter what.

Facing the wilderness in front of her, her hopes were shattered. The pain continued to wreck her body. It had been since they stood awkwardly outside they desolate hiding spot that she had felt it. She was relieved this time when it didn't come on as strong, but however weak it was it didn't go unnoticed.

When it again subsided she really began to realize how far she had wondered out. They had been walking for nearly a half an hour. It took merely a fraction of that to travel to the caves and back. She didn't get a true since how long she had been out there till they hit the beach.

The sun had dropped from it's high spot in the sky and was on it's way back under the horizon. Looking across the beach she also came to see it was near deserted. Usually it was crowed with the survivors going about their chores and daily activity. Now it was barely scatted with less than ten of them.

Her eyes soon came upon Sawyer as he casually walked up. It was still hard to look at him and not relive her last night's dream. It was an impression she'd probably never let go.

As he walked up she half expected him to greet her and Jack with a smirk, but instead it was a face of sternness and odd concern. His eyes darted around as if he was struggling to look to her. Finally they landed on her and then quickly look over to Jack.

"You two look you've seen a ghost." He exclaimed as his eyes settled back to Kate.

His words brought on so many images. The fire and Jack lying on the ground to that thing in the jungle that hunted them down as prey.

Sawyer seemed to put down the façade he had worked up to cover up this weird unease he obviously had.

"We had a run in with that thing in the jungle." Jack sighed switching his gaze from Sawyer to Kate who stood motionless and wordless next to him.

Sawyer's eyes went wide and his eyes moved to Jack for a moment as he questioned his seriousness. With a nod of his head for reassurance they both looked over to Kate who stood in a n odd daze with the sand.

"Are you ok?" Sawyer questioned her stepping in close.

Feeling his body near her's she almost became protected and flinched back creating an odd look of puzzlement between the two and than Jack.

"Yeah.' She whispered nodding her head.

Again she was lying. She wasn't fine and somehow she sensed they both knew it. They probably didn't know what was wrong, but they had an idea something wasn't right.

"She's just a little shaken up." Jack said trying to cover for her.

"No I'm fine." She shot back still trying to build up that wall they couldn't see her through.

Jack knew it right then and the other two could see it two. He knew she was hiding something.

"Ok." He said simply letting her go along with her lie.

Sawyer's gaze was curious between they two. He too knew something was up, but with whom?

The three stood in silence steeling stares back and forth waiting for one of them to break and admit some fear they were hiding in that moment. All three of them knew this wouldn't work and wasn't the way to get someone to let something out, but it was hard to let this question down a back away.

"Well I'd love to stand here, but there are things at the caves I have to get to." Jack announced.

Kate and Sawyer eyes quickly shot to him as he spoke. Sawyer felt relieve with what he said, but Kate felt dread. In the beginning she had wanted to go to the caves and sit, but with Jack running around never letting her out of his sight she couldn't conceal the pain.

"See ya latter there doc." Sawyer smirked.

Jack nodded as her turned past Kate. For a second she thought eh was going to let her stay.

"Come on." He said brushing his hand against her arm.

"I wanna stay here." She blurted out.

Both Jack and Sawyer turned back. Exchanging looks first between each other they looked to her.

She didn't know why she had said what she said. A reaction with no thought. Now that she did think about it she did want to stay on the beach and hide out away from Jack until this pain went away. If it did at all. She was too afraid to sit in the caves. It was a feeling she didn't have an explanation for.

"Why?" Jack questioned.

"I want to be away from the caves. You know what they are doing to me Jack."

Slowly closing his eyes he looked away from her.

"Ok, I'll go get the stuff I have to d-"

"No go ahead to the caves I'm fine."

"Kate, I don't want you alone with the baby so close to being due. I mean what if-'

"I have Sawyer."

Again she spoke without thought. His worry had quickly spilled over to her when he talked about the baby. It was a looming fear that wouldn't leave her alone even as she stood there.

Jack and Sawyer glanced back and forth trying to read each other's stance on this. Rolling his eyes with a heavy breath Jack turned back to Kate.

"If it's alright with Sawyer."

Kate quickly turned to him with plead in her eyes.

"Why not?" He called out shrugging his shoulders.

"Hell I haven't seen Freckles in a while we might have some fun." He continued with a wink.

Jack passed it off turning to Kate who seemed lightened by Sawyer's answer.

"I'll be at the caves if you need me. If anything happe-"

"Jack I'm fine.' She assured him.

He was stunned by her quickness to dismiss him. The way she was acting also put him off. There was something she wasn't telling, but he wasn't going to push her.

"See you latter." He smiled as he slowly turned away.

Kate watched him walk up the beach and to the jungle with Sawyer standing near behind her. She thought to turn away and let his figure disappear, but she couldn't help but follow him with her eyes till her was long gone. She stood there unmoving from her spot staring into the tree line.

"I think he's gone now Freckles."

Kate turned back and looked up to him with a small hint of a smile. Glancing back over her shoulder she let it be and headed off across the beach with Sawyer.

"So that big dad thing in the forest came after you huh?"

"Yeah." She whispered as she became in a daze with the sand beneath her feet.

By her unwillingness to participate and her stare off with the trees, he could tell something still wasn't right.

"You really ok?" He asked looking over to her.

She perked her head up and met his eyes. She was put off by a look of worry she rarely saw.

"Yeah I reall-"

"Oh god…" She gasped.

Her hand latched quickly onto his arm as she doubled over in pain. It was if she had been kicked in the stomach and back by a horse at the same time. Pain was fierce and overpowering as she struggled to stand and keep her breath.

"What's wrong?" Sawyer quickly questioned taking her by the arms trying to balance her.

Her nails dug into his bare skin as she took deep painful breaths. As quickly as it came it went away. Still she stood bent over waiting for it to come again and take her body over.

"Kate?"

Pulling up on Sawyer she stood. With a deep breath she brushed her hair from her face and looked up to see horror across his face. There was no hiding this now.

Before she could explain anything she felt something trickle down her leg. Her breath was caught and her eyes went wide before they quickly closed. She knew what it was before she even looked.

Sawyer followed her eyes as they came down to see the dampened sand beneath her. Quickly his eyes became wide with hers.

"Oh no…" Kate whined shaking her head.

Sawyer looked up to her denying state with fear of his own. He didn't know if this was for sure or not, but her knew something was going down.

"Kate…"

His words were slow and drug out as he stared at her in disbelief. With a deep yet not claming breath he tried to make words form in his mouth.

"Was- is that-the thingy that-the water that br-"

Kate nodded her head as she pursed her lips. Immediately Sawyer began to panic. He raced around her in a small circle. Checking her out as she stood still. Then his eyes jolted around the beach trying to think of what to do.

"We need to get you to you tent'

"Or my tent"

"Or somebody's tent."

"No Sawyer!" She shouted.

He stopped and his attitude quickly changed.

"I don't want to go to anybody's tent." She breathed placing a shaky hand over her stomach.

"I may not know jack about how to deliver a baby, but I think it's one of those things you have to sit down for Freckles."

"No we have to get Jack."

He thought for a minute about what sounded like a smarted idea and obviously a doctor was the right idea.

"Ok then." He exclaimed clapping his hands together.

"We'll head off to find Jack. He's at the caves right?"

Kate nodded her head. With that Sawyer came up behind her and turned her towards the jungle. The both walked slowly up the beach and past the trees. Both afraid she'd have the baby right then and there if they weren't careful.

Halfway to the caves they eased up a bit on the worrying when had made it that far ok.

"No are you sure this is it?" Sawyer questioned looking over to her as he clung fearful to her.

"I don't know Sawyer!' She cried.

She was getting a little annoyed by his constant questioning. Every other minute he asked her the same question. It was nerve wrecking.

"I just don-"

Quickly she sucked in her breath as she grabbed for Sawyer. Taking her hand he let her squeeze it as she barreled through the pain. It was hard to watch as her face turned red with he eyes squeezed tight. He wanted to comfort her, but the only thing he knew to do was rest his hand on her back and stand by her side.

"I'm not going to make it to the caves." She gasped over the pain.

"You want me to go get Jack?"

"No don't leave me." She cried gripping his hand tighter as the pain became worse.

"What are we supposed to do?" He questioned as his eyes searched hers.

"Some-" She stopped as she took a deep breath.

"Somebody has to come-"

Before she could finish her sentence she saw Charlie out of the corner of her eye. It was if fate heard her. Through the pain she felt joy seeing him walk up. Sawyer saw Kate's focus turn and looked over to also see Charlie walk up. Sadly it was the first time he was glad to see him.

"Hey guys." He greeted them with a smile.

Kate lowered her head as the pain slowly eased itself, yet still didn't reside. Sawyer looked away from her to Charlie, whose face quickly changed when he came closer.

"What's wrong? Is she ok?" He questioned.

The two were silent as Kate pushed herself to stand against Sawyer. The pain and fear were obvious on her face as tears moistened her cheeks.

"I need you to…get Jack.' She said trying to regain her composure.

"What's wrong?" He questioned again.

"I just need you to get him ok?"

Charlie stared at her for a minute. Looking her over from top to bottom. He turned to Sawyer who stare with urgency. Then it clicked. His eyes went wide and his mouth hung open as he looked back to Kate.

"You're having the baby?" He gasped looking down to her stomach.

"Please just get Jack.' She begged him in a voice tainted with tears.

That was it took to send him back running in the direction he came from.

Kate's heart fluttered watching him run off. This time she didn't turn away when his figure disappeared. She didn't look back to Sawyer or even acknowledge him. In that moment she wasn't plagued with fear or horror. It was a feeling of not wanting.

Her body knew what was happening. It had known it all morning. It was just the matter of convincing her mind the same thing.


	20. The Essence

_Here it is! The birth chapter! I worked really hard on this one. Probably more than any of the ones before this. So i really hope you all enjoy! And as always tell me what you think!_**  
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The Essence**

"JACK!"

Charlie calls could be heard all through the caves.

"Jack!"

Everyone's head turned as he raced into the caves. Stumbling and out of breath. They all knew something was wrong. That something had happened.

He stopped and looked around to every person there. Their worried faces glancing from him to one another. He didn't see Jack. His heart began to race.

"Has anyone seen Jack?" He questioned walking through the caves.

No one said anything. They were all quiet as they turned and went about their lives not wanting to get involved. This made him angry and quickly pushed his tolerance.

"Where the bloody hell is Jack?" He yelled walking past everyone as they left the caves.

"Dude calm down." Hurley said walking up to him.

"What's up?"

"Have you seen Jack?"

"Yeah, he's in Kate's cave setting things u-"

Before Hurley could finish Charlie was racing over to the last cave. Seeing Jack walking around placing things here and there lifted a weight off of his shoulders. But seeing him there his did wonder how he hadn't heard him yelling his name. It didn't matter at that moment. All that did was Kate was in labor.

"Jack." He called out again as he ran up to the cave.

Jack spun around hearing the urgency in Charlie's voice. Seeing him stumble over himself as he came up to him put a terrifying feeling down his spine. Something was wrong.

"Charlie?" He questioned with a hint of fear in his voice as Charlie stood in front of him.

He was so badly out of breath it was to form words, but he only needed to get one out to send Jack over the edge.

"Kate-"

"Kate? What's wrong with Kate?" He questioned closely approaching Charlie.

"She's- labor."

Jack knew what he meant. In an instant he dropped what he was doing and grabbed his leather backpack rushing past Charlie. Then he stopped and looked back to see Charlie bent over trying to still recover his lost breath.

"Where is she?"

Charlie took a deep breath and walked slowly to Jack. The stare Jack sent down over him was stern and fierce.

"On the trail with Sawyer." Charlie said sending Jack out of the caves in a hurry with his following close behind.

"Oh god…" Kate gasped clutching her stomach.

Sawyer turned from where he was standing and came in front of her.

"What? Is it another one?"

She nodded her head pursing her lips as she tried balancing against the tree behind her. The pains were become worse and closer together. She didn't how much longer she could last.

She stood for the longest time with her face distorted as she took labored breaths. Slowly her posture eased back and her face lightened up. With a deep breath she opened her eyes and stood back up. Once she did she caught Sawyer's fearful stare.

"Gone?" He questioned.

She waited. Waited to see if it would come back with a kick, but it didn't. Relief came over her. Still in the back of her mind she knew the worst part was yet to come.

"Yeah I think so." She sighed resting back against the tree.

Sawyer let out a deep exhale as he joined her against the tree. His eyes wondered from her over to the trail leading to the caves. His patience was growing thin knowing Kate probably didn't have time on her side and that scared the crap out of him. He had no idea how to deal with this.

"Where the hell is Jack?"

"I don't know…" Kate began pushing her self off the tree.

Sawyer quickly jumped up and came to her side worried something was wrong.

"But I have to pee."

"Now?" He questioned as his eyes shifted from her to the trail and then back.

"Yes now." She whined as she started to stumble away from him.

"Should I go with y-"

"I really don't want you to." She tried to chuckle shaking her head.

He looked around frustrated. He had no idea whether to let her go alone or follow her. He wasn't prepared for all this.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes Sawyer. I can pee by myself." She assured him with a small smile.

"If you're not back in ten minutes I'm coming after you." He warned watching her disappear into the jungle before him.

He felt better hearing her faint laugh as she walked off behind the trees. But no amount of her laughter could stop his heart from racing as he waited for her to come back.

Kate wondered further out then she should have, but she didn't want Sawyer walking up on her. It was embarrassing enough with him knowing what she was doing. If he were to walk up on her she'd never live it down.

After relieving herself she got situated and began to head back. Before she could get her foot off the ground another contraction came barreling down on her body.

Resting her hand up against the nearest tree she tried to again balance herself through the pain. Taking a deep breath she pressed her hand over her stomach as she closed her eyes tight. These pains were getting the best of her. She was slowly becoming exhausted from them.

The pain lasted longer than she expected. It was coming on stronger with every second and showed no sign of letting up. She couldn't hold up any more. Letting her body go she collapsed up against the tree nearly missing a fall to the ground. She let her weight off her arm and wrapped both around her stomach as it started to get worse. Quickly she began to panic to knowing if she could make it back to Sawyer.

Now she wished he would come after her. She wanted him to be there. Sitting there up against the tree alone she became scared like she had been earlier that day lost in the jungle. Her mind began to race with thoughts and the possibility that she might have this baby alone. She knew that was something she couldn't do. Not that she didn't have the will power; she didn't want to do that to the baby.

With all her strength she tried to push through the pain and off of the tree. It was a failed attempt. She was forced back down by sharp pains in her lower back that escalated over her sides. Her eyes closed again as she pressed her hands hard against her stomach.

"I can't do this. Not alone." She cried as tears rolled down her cheeks.

Her attention was quickly caught as the wind picked up and a gentle breeze whisked over her skin. The sound of whispers filled her ears. Taunting her.

"It's the essence."

She quickly glanced around looking for where it was coming from as it repeated itself. Her eyes wide as they darted around hearing it again and again. But as quick and sudden as it had echoed through the jungle it ceased along with the pain in her back.

The moment she didn't hear the whispers the sound of rustling leaves took their place. Her eyes wondered off to the side of the tree she had been up against. She questioned if she was hallucinating or not, but soon let all doubt subside upon hearing faint breath overtop the leaves.

"Sawyer?" She questioned with a quivering voice as she slowly pushed away from the tree.

There was no answer, but the breathing continued as the rustling of the leaves stopped. It wasn't Sawyer. Then who was it? There was someone there was no doubt in her mind that there was somebody, but who?

"Jac-"

She stopped instantly in her tracks feeling someone brush past her. The feeling of heated breath down the back of her neck made her shake. It wasn't Jack or Sawyer. She began to trembling knowing this person behind was so close and unmoving. There was no way she could move without being confronted by them. She had no way of getting away.

So many thoughts ran through her mind in that moment. First fear, then guilt upon herself, finally she came to survival. She had to get away. There was no way she could give in to whoever this was being in labor like she was. There was no real way of getting away either, but she'd have to try.

Gathering all her guts she took a deep breath. In an instant she spun around and was confronted by a darkened horrid face before she was struck in the head with terrible force. All went white around her as she felt herself fall to the ground. The last sound she heard was the cock of a gun before everything went black.

Sawyer looked down to his wrist and was aggravated by the realization that he didn't wear a watch. Throwing his arm down to his side he pressed his head back against the tree. Kate had been gone longer then ten minute. He knew that even without a watch to tell him. He knew he had to go after her and see what the hold up was.

Probably another contraction, he thought.

She's probably worrying herself to death.

That mental image of her lying on the ground clutching her stomach sent his heart up into his throat. He was going to go after her. With a huff he pushed himself off the tree. Before he could take any steps in the direction Kate had wondered off in, Jack came running up. For the first time Sawyer felt relieved he was there.

"Where is she?" He asked his eyed darting around looking for her.

"Sh-"

"Where is she?" He questioned again this time louder as Charlie finally caught up behind him.

"Doc just calm down and I'll tell you."

Jack swallowed his heavy breath as he stared at Sawyer with heated eyes. Waiting for him to tell him where Kate was.

"She went off to go pee-"

"You let her go alone?" Jack questioned.

"She wouldn't let me follow." Sawyer exclaimed as he watched Jack paced back and forth.

"What the hell was I supposed to do?"

"Go after her!" Jack yelled looking back over his shoulder to him.

It became quiet between the three. Jack paced back and forth in thought as Charlie and Sawyer exchanged looks. Suddenly Jack stopped and walked up to Sawyer, who seemed somewhat fearful as Jack approached him.

"How long has she been gone?"

"Ten minutes."

"I was just about to go after her when you guys showed up." Sawyer sighed turning away from Jack's engaging stare.

"Then why don't we go after her?" Charlie asked stepping up.

He quickly backed down as both Jack and Sawyer shot him evil glares.

"Or not."

"Which way did she go?" Jack asked turning back to Sawyer.

With a deep breath Sawyer turned and pointed off into the direction he had last seen her walk off into.

"That way."

Jack needed nothing else to send him off. He said nothing as he quickly ran off in the direction Sawyer had pointed. Without a thought Sawyer and Charlie were right with him.

They slowed down after no more then a minute of running. Jack stopped abruptly looking around fro any signs of her. The other two quickly came up behind him. Wondering closely next to him hoping he'd tell them what to do.

"There's no way she went out this far." Sawyer pointed out looking around.

Jack closed his eyes as she came to his feet. Sawyer's words didn't ease him over. If she had only wondered out this far then where was she?

Running his hand over is head, Jack walked around slowly. Looking at every detail on the ground. Quickly he stopped and ran his hands over the moist dirt on the ground. The two saw his sudden aw of the ground beneath him and came up to his side.

"What is it?" Charlie asked bending over so he could see.

Jack took a deep breath as he looked past Charlie up to Sawyer.

"She's been here."

Sawyer was struck down by his words. It didn't make sense.

"Then where is sh-"

Jack hushed him as they heard the tearing of cloth. All three were at their feet and staring off into the direction the noise had come from. All three had an idea of what or who it could be, but only one acted upon it.

"Kate." Sawyer called as the three slowly inched their was towards the continuous noise.

The sound stopped instantly. It was quiet for a minute as Jack and Sawyer shot each other scolding looks. Sawyer shrugged it off.

"It might be Kate." He said loudly as if he couldn't whisper.

His words were followed by the sound of rustling leaves and footsteps scurrying off into the distance. All three took charge without thinking and ran after the sound. Their strides where long and fast as they ran after the fading sound. They would have caught up to eventually if the horrifying sight of a blood cover knife lying on the ground wouldn't have stopped them.

"What the-"

Sawyer stopped mid sentence watching Jack crouch down over the knife. Jack was silent as he stared down upon this knife. Somehow deep down he knew this had something to do with Kate's sudden disappearance and that scared him.

"Do you think?" Sawyer asked when he found it hard himself to turn away from looking at it.

Jack shook his head as he pulled away from it and looked to Sawyer.

"I don't k-"

"Blood hell…"

The two instantly looked over to in the direction of Charlie's cry. When their eyes landed on him they saw him standing there staring down at the ground with wide eyes of fright. Both of their heart jumped up into their throats as they pushed them selves to look down at the ground before Charlie. When they did they were over some with dread.

There lay Kate, sprawled out on the ground cover in blood.

"No…" Jack whispered coming to his feet.

Sawyer beat him to the punch and was already at her side. He barely got his hand to her face before Jack pushed him to the side. This time he didn't argue. He knew Kate needed Jack's help and wasn't going to stand in the way.

Jack felt sick, as he looked her over from head to toe. Bruises encircled her eye and a deep gash that spread across her forehead. Blood dripped from the wound down the side of her face dripping off the edge of her chin onto her shirt.

His eyes quickly darted down to her stomach feeling the baby kick against his arm. He had to hold back everything he had eaten that day as he stared in a daze at her bare and beaten stomach. Her shirt was ripped and torn back to the bottom of her breasts. Her skin was laced in blood that oozed out of the huge gash that was almost the complete length of her stomach.

He sat stunned staring down at her lying before him. He prayed to god the baby was ok, but most of all that she was ok.

"Charlie…han-hand me my bag." Jack called over his shoulder never turning his eyes from Kate.

It took Charlie a minute to pull himself away. When he did he turned quickly and grabbed Jack's bag he had discarded to the ground. Turning back he walked up behind Jack and handed it to him. Feeling the weight of the bag leave his fingers he glanced over to Sawyer who stood as still as he could. His eyes unmoving as he watched Jack bandage Kate up. He didn't have any idea what could be running through his mind.

It was guilt. He blamed himself for letting her go off alone. For not following her. This was his fault. Her lying there unconscious and cover in blood with a huge gash in her stomach. It was because of him. It was hard for him to stand there and look at it. It would be harder to even live with himself if she or the baby didn't make it.

"Is she ok?" Charlie asked finally speaking up.

"She's unconscious right now-" Jack began securing the bandage around her stomach.

"What about the baby?" Sawyer asked.

Jack stopped and looked back to him along with Charlie. For the first time they saw tears in his eyes as he stared down to Kate in horror. Jack knew he was blaming himself.

"I felt it kick, but can't be sure till she delivers it." Jack said with a sigh as he turned back to Kate.

No more words were said as he gathered his things in his backpack and handed it to Charlie. With on swift movement he slid his arms under Kate and picked her up. Coming to his feet he stood for a second and didn't move. He looked down to her motionless face as she lay in his arms and was taken by grief for a brief second. Then seeing Sawyer's guilt filled stare out of the corner of his eyes he looked up to him.

"This wasn't your fault."

Sawyer looked up from Kate and to Jack with a furrowed brow.

"Whatever happens or happened, it wasn't your fault.' He said nodding his head in assurance to his words.

With that he turned and followed Charlie through the jungle. Sawyer stayed for a moment thinking about Jack's words.

Was he right?

Was it not his fault?

He couldn't feel sure with his words. If something happened to Kate or the baby he couldn't do anything but blame himself. He was the one that let her go by herself. Still he couldn't set full blame without knowing anything yet. And he wouldn't know unless he followed them.

With a deep exhale he shook his head trying to push off the guilt. In stride he quickly headed after them to the caves.

"Dude…" Hurley exclaimed stopping instantly in his tracks as he watched Jack rush in behind Charlie with Kate lying in his arms.

Charlie just shot him a look as they hurried across the caves.

"Get the blankets and pillows from her bed." Jack ordered Charlie.

He said nothing as he turned and ran past him towards Kate's cave. Jack slowly kneeled down and laid her down on an empty airplane seat. He didn't care whose it was. He slid his hands out from under her and went for his backpack searching for supplies.

"Here ya go." Charlie said presenting Jack with the blankets and pillows he had gathered.

"Good."

"Put one behind her head and the other behind her back." He ordered taking the blankets from him.

Dropping the blankets aside he went for her shirt. Taking the shreds that had been cut, he tied them back so he could clean her wound. It was hard for him to even look at it let alone treat it.

"What the hell happened?" Hurley asked slowly walking up behind Jack.

He looked back to say something to Hurley, but was stopped by seeing Sawyer slowly approach them. Seeing the look of constant guilt over his face, Jack lowered his gaze back to Kate. With heavy breath he pulled out the bottle of peroxide. Drenching a piece of cloth he brought it to the cut across her stomach.

The instant the liquid spread over it her face and fingers twitched sending the three men back in surprise. They stared down at her as her body eased back to it's motionless state. They waited for her to open her eyes and come to, but she just lied still.

Shaking his head, Jack went back to cleaning her wound. This time he ran the cloth over her stomach ever so slowly. He almost had to smile when he felt the baby kick under his fingertips. It instilled the hope that it was ok.

After his answer wasn't answered Hurley walked away realizing it was best if he backed out and let them have their space. In his place Sawyer stepped up next to Jack. Without a word or warning he came to the ground kneeling next to Kate. His eyes locked on her's still closed.

"What do you think happened?" He asked running his finger down her arm.

Jack's eyes followed every moment Sawyer's finger. It was just something else he could become in a daze with other then Kate.

"I don't know." Jack said shaking off the daze as he turned his attention to the gash in Kate's forehead.

"Who do you think did it?"

"I don't know Sawyer!"

Sawyer backed off seeing jack was loosing his patience.

It became quickly silent between the two again as they focused their attention on Kate. Jack cleaned the gash on Kate's forehead as they both watched her eyes twitch. She could feel the sting, but it wasn't enough to bring her out. They began to wonder what would.

"What's going to happen if she doesn't wake up with her being in labor and all?" Sawyer questioned finally looking over to Jack.

He waited for Jack to snap his head off, but instead he stopped what he was doing and stared back down to Kate like he had been.

"Let's just hope she wakes up." He said coming to his feet.

Sawyer quickly followed and stopped him.

"What will happen?" Sawyer asked again with harshness.

Jack looked away from him to Kate lying there. So frail and weak. He hoped she would wake up, but even if she did he was afraid she wouldn't have the strength to go through the labor. Either way he was afraid he'd have to operate to get the baby out.

"I'll have to cut her open and take the baby out." Jack sighed turning back to Sawyer.

Slowly Sawyer backed off with shock written on his face.

"Cut her open?" He questioned.

"Yeah. And without enough penicillin and painkillers she'd have a hard time recovering."

"You mean she could get infected or something?" Charlie asked stepping up next to them.

"Yeah. She could." Jack sighed shaking his head.

All three fell silent thinking about everything that could happen. The huge mess this had become. More so then the consequences, Sawyer dwelled on what he should have done.

"Let's hope she wakes up." Charlie said breaking their silence.

"Sawyer?"

His head snapped around as he looked over to see Kate coming to. He quickly rushed to her side without thought with the other two behind him. Dropping to his knees beside her he tried not panic with joy that she was awake.

"Kate?" Jack questioned coming up next to Sawyer with Charlie standing behind him.

Her eyes moved from them as she struggled to sit as her hand came to her head. She began to shake her head trying to remember what had happened. All was a blur to her as she pushed through the pain that coursed her body from head to toe. Suddenly her eyes became wide and her breath short as she swung her arm around her stomach. Her eyes wondered down to where a sharp stinging pain was coming from. When she saw the blood soaked bandage wrapped around her body she began to panic.

"The baby!" She exclaimed gripping her stomach tightly.

"Kate-" Jack tried to calm her down moving closer to her.

"The baby!"

No one could get a word in as she struggled against them yelling about the baby. The three of them knew she was disoriented from suddenly waking up in the caves in pain, but she was becoming overwhelmed with worry seeing the blood covered bandage over her stomach.

"Kate. Kate." Jack called trying to get her attention as he and Sawyer grasped a hold of her arms.

"What's wrong with the baby?" She questioned looking back and forth between the two.

She stopped realizing her outburst wasn't going to help matters. With a deep breath she sat back down and tried to stay calm as she waited for their answer.

"The baby is fine." Jack assured her.

Sawyer quickly shot him an evil look knowing he was just telling her that when in fact no more then ten minutes ago Jack had said he didn't know. He really couldn't be that mad. He was lying for her sake. It was just he could already see her reaction if the baby didn't come out fine.

"Really?' Kate questioned as her short breaths became slower and eased.

"Yeah." Jack smiled nervously nodding his head.

"I felt it kick an everything."

A small smile came over her lips hearing his words. She felt better knowing he had felt it. Still something deep inside her told her not to totally give into his security.

Before she could even settle back a nagging pain ripped through her body a contraction came on. Her breath was quickly caught as her body became tense. She went to grab for Jack or Sawyer's hand, but ended up with the airplane seat instead.

"What? What is it?" Jack questioned as his eyes quickly wondered her body looking for any trauma.

"A contraction.' Sawyer announced on an exhale as he watched her go through yet another one.

"How long between them did you count?" Jack asked turning to Sawyer.

"No. Didn't have a watch."

"Here take mine and keep an eye on how long it is between each one." Jack instructed pulling his watch off his wrist.

Sawyer took in from him and looked down upon it in a daze. He was hit with a sudden fear as he looked at it and heard Kate's groaning along with Jack's coaxing in his ear. Slowly he looked away and up to Kate. Seeing her slumped over fighting her self. Her hair stuck to her face, which dripped with sweat. Then he came to focus on the bright red color spread over her stomach. That bright red color was his fault. And no matter what happened he would have to deal with what was going to happen.

"It's ok." Jack whispered wiping a damp cloth over Kate's face.

"This is too much." Kate breathed shaking her head as she slowly came through the contraction.

"I know."

Taking a deep breath, Kate sat back against the pillows behind her. She tried to relax by closing her eyes and listening to the waterfall off in the background, but all of their obvious uneasiness didn't help the situation.

"Keep an eye on the time." Jack said to Sawyer who was still entranced with Jack's watch.

"What happened to me out there?" Kate asked looking up from her stomach over to Jack.

"I don't know. We were hoping you could tell us." Jack laughed.

"Last thing I remember was being in the jungle after I had to pee." Kate began.

"A contraction came on and I couldn't move. Then the wind picked up and there were the-"

"I can't do this." Sawyer exclaimed jumping up.

Kate stopped as all eyes came to Sawyer. He stood still staring down at Jack's watch still in that weird thought filled daze.

"What?" Jack asked also coming to his feet.

"I can't do this." Sawyer repeated dropping Jack's watch to the ground as he spun around and headed through the caves.

"Sawyer." Jack and Kate both called after him as Jack began after him and Kate struggled to her feet.

"Kate sit back down.' Jack ordered over his shoulder as he continued after Sawyer who was on his way out of the caves.

Kate became fast as she got her balance and hurried past Jack. Catching up with Sawyer she grabbed his arm and turned him around. Seeing her as the one who had caught him he suddenly became sick. The look on her face was worry as she stared into his eyes.

"What do you mean you can't?" She questioned.

He almost didn't have the heart to tell her he didn't have guts to stay by her side. He was terrified knowing that that night he could be a father. It scared him to the very depths of himself. He had passed off the thought for so long, but now it was sitting right in his face waiting to kick him in the crotch. He couldn't face the responsibility.

"I just can't."

And with that he looked away from her tear stricken face and back to Jack as he stood behind her. Sawyer knew the curse that were running through his mind as he stared him down, but it didn't matter. He had no clue what was running through his mind.

He couldn't even look back to her as he turned away and headed down the trail.

"Sawyer!" She yelled as she tried to go after him.

She would have gotten a hold of him again if Jack's arms wouldn't have come around her.

"Kate. Let him go." He said pulling her back as she struggled for freedom.

"But Jac-"

Jack let her go and turned her to face him. Her face was wet from tears that she cried for Sawyer. Jack felt bad seeing her like, but he couldn't let her go after her. He wasn't about to let her out of his sight.

"Let him go. He needs to be alone."

Kate stopped pushing against him and stood still against his arms. She didn't understand why Sawyer was suddenly acting like this.

"Come on sit down." Jack said.

Looking on last time in the direction Sawyer had huffed off into, Kate lowered her head and turned away. The walk back to where she had been sitting seemed like forever. It almost had been as another contraction came on. She quickly stopped where she was and reached back for Jack.

He grabbed her hand and came behind her.

"It's ok. Breath through it Kate." Jack instructed her as he pushed her to walk through the pain.

The deep breaths she took did nothing to help the pain. All those time she had seen people do it on TV was a bunch of crap. They obviously had no clue what they were doing and neither did Jack. They weren't going through this.

"It's not helping." Kate said gritting her teeth as she slowly sat down.

"Just don't think about it."

"How am I not supposed to think about it?' She snapped.

"Concentrate on something else." Jack suggested.

"There isn't anything else." She whimpered.

Jack could see her slowly reducing herself. She was letting it take over. Letting the pain win. He knew this was going to be hard on her.

Sitting down beside her, he watched as she came out of it. Her body eased up again and her grip loosened on his hand. It was over. For now.

"Charlie. Watch the time between her contractions." Jack said handing Charlie his watch Sawyer had dropped to the ground.

"Alright." Charlie breathed trying to comprehend his new responsibility.

Jack looked back to Kate. The look on her face was on pure exhaustion as tried to catch her breath. She needed rest and it wasn't going to be easy to get her to.

"Now I want you to try and sleep."

"And how am I supposed to do that exactly Jack?"

"I want you to take these." He said pulling out a bottle of sleeping pills from his pack.

"You want to drug me?" She exclaimed.

"I just want you to rest." He said opening the bottle.

"You need to for the baby Kate."

She stared down at the blue pills in his hand. It didn't seem right to her, but Jack was a doctor and he had know what he was doing. Hopefully.

With heavy sigh she took the pills. A look of ease took over Jack's face as she took a drink of water to help them down.

"What if I don't wake up in time?"

"You will.' Jack assured her.

After that he sent Charlie off for a bit. He stood in front of her with his back to her as she changed out of her torn shirt and into one of his clean ones. Reading herself for the birth she took off her pants and underwear. Placing two blankets over her lower half, Jack promised no one but him would see anything. That fact didn't help her unease.

As her lids began to droop she settled back against the pillows in the airplane seat. Jack rung out a cloth and draped it over her forehead. Leaning over her as she fought sleep he left a kiss upon the top of her head.

"It's going to be ok." He whispered.

And with his words she was out.

Jack backed away from her slowly. Never taking his eyes off of her.

"How long do you think she'll be out?" Charlie asked walking up.

"Don't know, but knowing her. Not long." Jack replied shaking his head as he turned away.

He walked away with his backpack in hand. Coming over to the medical cave he began to go through his things. Preparing for what he knew he'd have to do. Something he was terrified and complete unprepared to do. Something he didn't know he could do. He was so delved into thought he didn't see Charlie walk up behind him.

"Who do you think did this to her?" He asked walking up behind Jack.

Charlie's question nearly made him jump.

"Like I told Sawyer, I don't know." Jack said turning his full attention back to what he was doing.

"Well somebody did this. And it's possibly the same freaks who kidnapped Claire."

"Might be." Jack sighed walking past Charlie back out to where Kate was.

In aggravation Charlie followed him. He stood close by watching Jack set up an area around a still sleeping Kate. His eyes then focused on her as she took each breath.

"I'm not going to let them get her and the baby like they did Claire and Aaron."

Jack glanced back seeing the determination on his face as he stared down at Kate. He knew he was fighting with the guilt inside himself over what happened to Claire and not what had happened to Kate. Everyone felt guilty over what happened.

Charlie was beating himself up over not running to the caves fast enough.

Sawyer was blaming himself over and over again for letting her go off alone.

Jack felt bad for leaving her on the beach.

Because if he would have stayed, he would have been there to lead her back to the caves. Not that he blamed Sawyer, it's just he wouldn't have let her go off alone no matter how hard she fought him.

"No one is going to let anything happen to Kate or the baby." Jack sighed turning his stare back to Kate.

"JACK!"

Kate pulled away from her dream like state hearing Locke's voice echoing through the caves.

"JACK!"

Hearing it again her eyes shot open. The first thing she saw was Jack running past her over to Locke who hurried into the caves out of breath. He was covered in what looked like ash.

"What's wrong?" Jack questioned.

"There was a fire…"

It was the only words Locke could get out. It was all he needed to say to send a jolt down Kate's spine. Images of her nightmare from the night before flooded her mind and the only thing she could think of was Sawyer.

"Jack?" She question with worry.

He spun around seeing she was awake. Upon seeing the look of worry on her face he knew that she had heard what Locke had said and knew what she was thinking.

"Where was the fire John?"

"In-in the valley." He choked out.

Kate eased back with a sigh of relief. Sawyer was nowhere near the valley, but the sudden realization that people were probably injured swept over her mind. It meant Jack would have to leave her.

"Whose all hurt?"

"Don't really know." Locke said shaking his head.

Out of the corner of his eye he spotted Kate sitting in the middle of the caves. Her body stained with spots of blood here and there. Blankets and medical utensils placed all around her. Her face brought down by worry. He began to question what had been going on before he got to the caves.

"What happened to her?" Locke asked looking back to Jack.

"She got attacked."

"By whom?"

"We don't know."

Locke's stare turned back to Kate as she eyed Jack. That wasn't all that was going on.

"I need you to go back to the valley and bring them here." Jack said.

"Why can't you come to them Jack?"

"I have to stay here with Kate."

"She looks fine. I think Charlie can watch her for a while. Some of these people can't wal-"

"She's in labor." Jack announced in a hushed tone.

Locke's eyes became wide as he realized the seriousness.

"I'll go back and tell them." Locke said trying to tear his eyes from Kate.

Slowly he turned and was on his way till Jack stopped him.

"Don't tell them about Kate. I don't want them thinking they're going to suffer because I have to be here with her."

Locke nodded his head in reply as he hurried through the caves and back out onto the trail. Closing his eyes, Jack ran his hand over his forehead. This was not going to be easy. With burnt victims and Kate in labor it would be a miracle if it all worked out.

Jack came over and started preparing things as Kate watched him. She was trying her best to keep her mind off of everything that was happening to and around her.

"Jack?"

"Hmmm?"

"What's your middle name?" She asked.

"Why do you wanna know my middle name?" He questioned with a laugh as he kept his attention on what he was doing.

"Just cause."

He didn't answer.

"Jack…" She whined with an aggravation on her voice.

He stopped what he was doing and glanced over to her. She was serious.

"Nicholas." He said trying to his blushing look.

"Nicholas?"

"Yeah. My mother's idea." He said wit a groan.

"It's cute."

He stared at her for a second. Again she was serious and it scared him. Shaking his head he brushed it off with a laugh.

A half an hour went by with tremendous grief. Kate's contractions sped up to two minutes apart. The baby was coming fast and painful. Jack was racing around trying to get everything read for the delivery and for when the first victims of the fire. Along with all this he tried to stay calm for Kate, knowing if she sense his fear she'd freak out.

"Coming through!"

John's voice came loud through the caves as he rushed in again with one of the survivors lagging on his shoulder. The man's leg was burnt to hell. His skin was charred to a dark gray color.

Jack quickly turned from Kate and ran over leaving her alone with Charlie. He came over and took the weight of the man on himself as he led him over to the area he had set up. Setting him down Jack kneeled in front of him checking over his burn.

"Not that bad." Jack said with a laugh trying to take the man's mind off the pain.

"Easy for you to say." The man scowled.

The minute Jack began to treat his leg another contraction came on. Kate's groans and cursing rang in the men's ears as Charlie stared at Jack wondering what to do.

"Charlie get her to concentrate on breath." Jack yelled over his shoulder.

"Alright." Charlie agreed with smile as he turned to Kate.

"Now deep breath, one sugar plum fairy, two su-"

"Wha-what the hell is a sugar plum fairy?" Kate questioned as she winced in pain.

"You've never heard of a sugar plum fairy?"

Kate shook her head taking another deep breath.

"They are these little thin-"

"This isn't helping Charlie." Kate whined taking another deep breath.

"Right. Sorry."

"Deep breath in and then out." Charlie went on trying to coach her on breathing.

Jack finished cleaning up the man's burn. When he was done, he gave him some medication and sent him off to rest. Coming to his feet he walked over to Kate and Charlie who were carrying on a conversation about sugarplum fairies. It hurt him to look at her. With her face pale and covered in sweat in blood. She was already worn out and she wasn't even to the tough part yet.

"How she doing?" Jack asked Charlie as he squatted down in front of him.

"Good." Charlie replied nodding his head as he turned back to Kate.

"You're almost done." Jack said pulling Kate's messy hair out of her face and tying it back.

"Wahoo." Kate groaned sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"Jack!"

Boone caught all attention as he and Sayid rushed in with Shannon in their arms. Jack quickly jumped up and hurried over to them. They came over and gently placed Shannon down on the cot. Jack pushed Boone and Sayid out of the way as he looked her over.

She was unconscious, but not burnt.

"The smoke got to her. She started having and asthma attack. Then she passed out." Boone explained to Jack in one short breath.

"Sayid. Go and get that Eucalypts Sun used last time." Jack said.

"Where is it?"

"With all the medical supplies." Jack said turning back to Shannon.

Sayid turned and hurried across the caves. Boone came to her side with a damp cloth. Jack took it from him and put it to her face. Running it over her face her eyes began to move as she came to.

"She's coming to." Boone announced.

"Oh god!' Kate screamed.

Jack quickly glanced over his shoulder seeing Kate clutch her stomach and gasp in pain. Another contraction.

"Hold on Kate." Jack called to her over his shoulder as he turned back to Shannon.

Quickly her eyes shot open as she began to gasp for breath. She started to choke back the air that was hitting her lungs. Before any commands were shot on what to do to help her Sayid rushed up with the bowl of Eucalypts. He scooped some up in his fingers and ran it over he chest.

"Shan can you hear me?" Boone questioned leaning over her.

She slowly began to breath slow deep breaths as Kate was heard doing the same behind them. Jack glanced back and forth between the two of them. Trying to pick which one needed him more.

"It hurts…" Kate cried.

"Charlie hold her hand." Jack ordered.

"But she'll crush it and my playin-"

"Just do it!" Jack demanded turning back to Shannon who was slowly recovering.

Sayid and Boone's attention was pulled from Shannon and stuck on Kate.

"What's going on with her?" Boone questioned.

Jack looked up to both of them as they gave inquiring looks. He didn't want to worry them even more, but he couldn't hide it.

"She's having the baby." He whispered looking back down to Shannon who was trying to keep herself conscious.

It took Sayid and Boone a moment to interpret what he said. Quickly they exchanged looks and then turned to jack.

"Are you serious?" Sayid questioned.

"Yeah." Jack said nodding his head.

The two looked back over to Kate who was slowly calming down. It was obvious to them Jack was telling the truth.

When Shannon's eyes finally opened and stayed open for a while, Jack turned back to Kate, but didn't leave Shannon's side.

"How far along Charlie?"

"Less than a minute and a half." He announced looking at Jack's watch.

"Dammit!" Jack cursed slowly closing his eyes.

She didn't have long. She'd be delivering the baby within the hour and he didn't know if he was prepared for that let alone Kate being prepared.

"She's going out!' Boone yelled calling Jack's attention back.

Before he could turn Kate's screams echoed through the caves. He quickly spun around seeing her pulling down on Charlie's shirt as she gritted her teeth and cursed like a sailor. This was more then a contraction. This was it.

"Thir-ty seconds." Charlie choked out as he struggled to lift his hand up to look at Jack's watch under the weight of Kate's hand pressing down on him.

Jack wiped the sweat off his brow as turned back to Shannon who was struggling to keep her eyes open again.

"Try an keep her conscious." Jack said looking to both Sayid and Boone.

"Ask her questions. Do whatever."

Leaving them with that he rushed over to Kate. She still had a power grip on Charlie as he kneeled before her. Once she saw him she tried to calm down.

"Now Kate, I have to look and see how far you-"

"No." Kate said bluntly.

"Kate…" Jack said resting his hands on her knees.

"No!" She refused again shaking her head.

As they fought Sayid and Boone got Shannon to come back to full consciousness. She fought with them like Kate did Jack as she tried to sit. They finally gave up.

"What's going on?" Shannon questioned watching as Jack tried to coax Kate.

"She's having the baby." Sayid answer.

"Now?" Shannon asked in disbelief.

A few others came into the caves as they continued to fight. All of them burnt and injured, but the moment they saw what was going on they sat down off to the side near Shannon, Sayid, and Boone waiting for what was going to happen.

Seeing all these people watching her and Jack, Kate became more nervous. She didn't want to go through this in front of every body. She didn't want to go through this at all.

"Kate, I have to." Jack tried to convince her.

Her lips trembled as her eyes came back to him. With a deep breath she closed her eyes trying to hide herself. With that Jack took his ok to take a look. The realization hit Jack like a tone of bricks.

"Oh g-god." Jack stuttered staring down at her in aw.

"What?" Everyone questioned at the same time.

Kate opened her eyes as her heart began to race. Something was wrong with the baby she knew it.

"It's crowning." Jack announced breathless.

"It's what?" Kate asked as her breath became short and panicked.

He didn't answer her question. Instead he looked up to her with seriousness in his eyes. She had to look away as she became afraid.

"Kate look at me."

Slowly her eyes scanned everyone and then stopped of him staring at her with and intense gaze.

"With your next contraction I need to push." He instructed with slow words.

"No!' Kate said shaking her head.

"Yes Kate. I need you-"

"I can't Jack! I can't do it!'

"Yes you can."

"No I ca-"

"Kate you have to." He exclaimed.

Her body began to tremble feeling the pain creeping up her back. This was it. It was show time. All this build up had come down to this. Nine months of what if and now they would get their answer. In the next couple minutes she would be a mother.

Taking a deep breath she sat back and got a comfortable as she could knowing she was going to be over taken with serve pain in a matter of second. Charlie quickly came to her side and took a hold of her hand willingly.

She felt each beat her heart made as the contraction slowly came over her. The world stopped as she looked to each person around her. Wondering how it had all come to this. Finally her eyes landed on Jack who had a determination set across his face like she had never seen. It was time.

"Push!"

With all her might Kate pushed down as hard and fast as she could. She felt it instantly. The baby slowly making its way out of her.

"Again!" Jack yelled.

Again she bore down and pushed. Pain tore at her body as she used all her strength to get through it. Soon she had had enough and she collapsed back onto the airplane blanket.

"I can-" She tried to breath as the world around her swirled into a brilliant display of colors.

"Come on Kate. One more time." Jack coaxed her.

She shook her head as she lay there. She didn't wanna do it. It was too much.

"Come on Kate you can do it." Charlie said giving her hand a squeeze.

With a deep breath Kate forced herself up. Her breath was labored as she locked eyes with Jack. With a slow nod of his head she went for it again.

"Come on Kate. Just a little more."

Sweat dripped down her forehead she pushed down with every muscle in her body. Her body ached as she tried her hardest to force her way through this.

"Here it comes!"

All the yells and coaching became a drone as she felt her body on the edge of giving up.

Then everything was gone.

Her body eased up as she fell back onto the airplane seat. Her eyes fell shut as the noise around her became recognizable. There was and instant up roar of cheers. They were all so mixed together she couldn't tell what they were saying.

Then she heard a loud cry. The cry of a baby.

Her eyes struggled to open as the cry continued. She looked down to see Jack holding the baby in his arms. Her baby.

His face was overtaken by joy as he laughed through tears. He couldn't turn away from this small thing lying in his arms.

"You did it!' Charlie exclaimed as he looked back to Kate.

He gave her a gentle pat on the back of her hand as they both turned back to the baby. Kate had to smile through her exhaustion as she stared at Jack and the baby.

"Is it ok?" She asked trying her hardest to get a better look at it.

Jack finally looked up from the small body in his arms. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he nodded his head.

"He's ok." He smiled staring at Kate.

"It's a boy!" Kate exclaimed.

"Yeah." Jack exclaimed looking back down to the baby.

Finally being able to pull himself away he took the pair of sterilized scissors and cut the umbilical chord. Cleaning him off, Jack wrapped him in a clean blanket. Holding him securely in his arms he looked to Kate. She lay completely exhausted with Charlie at her side. Her eyes followed Jack's every move.

"Wanna hold him?"

"That's a stupid question Jack." Kate smirked.

With the help of Charlie she sat up. Still she watched Jack's every move as he crouched down next to her with the baby. Sliding her arms under the infant she quickly took him from Jack and cradled him in his arms. Once he was safe in Kate's arm he didn't utter another cry.

She was instantly entranced as she looked down to this small life. She just couldn't get over this joyous feeling she had staring down at him. He was just so beautiful. He had patches of dark hair here and there on his head. A cute little button nose to match his cute little hand that reached up grabbing for her.

She quickly took it between her fingers and the moment he felt her touch his eyes opened.

"Hi there." Kate exclaimed in a low calm voice as her face spread with a wide smile from ear to ear.

His eyes were a hint of blue and brown as he stared up at her. It almost brought tears to her own eyes.

"They'll change." Jack whispered rubbing the side of the baby's cheek with his finger.

Kate looked back to him hovering over her shoulder. She didn't pay attention to his words. She didn't care. She was just so happy. With him sitting there and the baby in her arms. For once she felt complete. But then she realized Sawyer wasn't there.

He hadn't seen the birth of what could be his son. The thought tore at her heart. She didn't want to think about it. It was his decision not her. Right then she had to concentrate on her son. Slowly she looked around to everyone who had smiles on their faces. Then she came back to the baby.

He still looked up at her studying her face as she did his.

"He's beautiful Kate." Charlie cooed.

"Thanks." She blushed never turning from the baby.

"What'd are you going to name him?" Charlie asked.

"Don't know." Kate shrugged.

It wasn't a concern. She didn't care what she was going to name him. All she cared was that he was ok and in her arms at that moment.

"Well I'll leave you three alone." Charlie said as he got up.

Kate looked up as he gave her a smile. Then he turned and headed off. Most likely to the beach where he would announce the baby to everyone. For once she didn't mind his gossiping. This was something she wanted everyone to know.

As he walked out of the caves she turned back to the baby. With a small yawn he closed his eyes and snuggled against Kate's chest hopefully drifting off to sleep. Although she was happy she was tried and wanted to sleep.

"I'm proud of you Kate." Jack said calling her attention away from the now sleeping baby.

He still had a smile on his face as she looked at him.

"It was a lot to go through especially here, but look what you got out of it." He said running his hand over the baby's head.

Kate looked away and back to the baby. He was right. All the crap she went through and this was what she was rewarded with. It was worth it. Every second.

"Jack!" Sayid called from behind them.

They both looked over to see Shannon struggling to breath again and Boone trying to keep her calm.

"Now I want you to try and sleep while he's out." Jack said turned back to Kate.

"Trust me there's no try about it." Kate joked.

Leaving a quick kiss on both her and the baby's forehead, he came to his feet and rushed over to Shannon. Kate watched as he quickly went back into doctor mode as he fought with Sayid and Boone on how to help Shannon. Sadly that was how it was going to be for the next few days if not longer.

Looking away from him and back down to the baby in her arms she almost didn't want to sleep. And she fought herself not to. She didn't want to miss a second of his life.


	21. Mother and Fathers

_Sorry it took so long. With work and school i never find time to write anymore. Anyways here it is. I hope you all enjoy it.This has probably been my favorite chapter to write. I never lost intrest in it! Well I hope you all like it and please tell me what you think! I love what you all have to say!_

**Mother and Fathers**

Two days went by. Two exhausting days in which no one slept.

Jack had it worst of all. He rushed back between Shannon's calls and the other burnt victims to Kate and the baby. He didn't get a blink of sleep. He barely got to sit down for more then a second before someone screamed for him again.

Then there was the baby. It screamed and yelled its head off not being able to sleep like the rest of them. All the commotion around the caves wasn't exactly the calmest environment for a newborn. So in turn it's crying calls prevented anyone from sleeping. And that made them complain even more to Jack. All of it was circling around in a whirlwind of cause and effect.

Amongst all this, it was amazing Kate could even shut her eyes. But for only a minute to try and catch up on her rest. She was quickly jolted awake as the infant in her arms began to scream.

She looked down to see him struggling in her arms. Immediately she heard groans and cries to keep him quiet from the others around her.

"Shh." She whispered rocking him back and forth in her arms as she tried to calm him down.

Then she realized it. He needed to be changed.

She quickly searched the caves for Jack. He was nowhere to be scene. It was odd. He was the one person beside they baby she had seen every waking minute for the last two days.

With a heavy breath she gave up. She couldn't wait for him to appear. The baby needed to be changed. So coming to her feet she set out on a mission to find clean cloths to use as a diaper. The minute she began to walk she bumped into someone. Her hands quickly came up to protect her son.

"Whoa." Jack's voice exclaimed catching her in his arms.

"Kate?' He questioned realizing who it was.

"What are you doing up?"

She didn't answer him right away. She was too taken back by his appearance. His face was beaten by lack of sleep as he tried to keep his eyes open. He was completely exhausted.

"The baby, he needs to be changed. I was looking for some diap-"

"I'll get them." He insisted.

"No Jack. You need to res-'

"You need to rest." He shot back at her as he pulled away from her.

"Jack you haven't slept." She exclaimed loudly over the infant's crying.

He didn't say anything as he turned from her and headed off. She watched after him shaking her head. He was pushing himself and he didn't need to. He needed to just sit down and take it easy before he collapsed or worse. Looking down to the baby she began to rock him back and forth whispering comforting words to him as she tried to calm him down.

All Kate could do was stare down at this child in her arms. Watching how his face changed with his sudden mood swings. Staring down into his blue green eyes she wondered so many things.

How was this going to work?

Would he make it?

Would she?

Along with all of the above the one question she dwelled upon was; what was she going to name him?

"Here you go." Jack said handing her the diapers.

"Thank yo-" Before she could finish, he was off again.

It hurt her to see him doing this to himself. Putting all the responsibility on him and only him. There were other people, but they were no help. She just hated seeing him struggle knowing she had already done her best to get him to listen.

Lowering her head with thought she turned to change the baby. It wasn't a hard thing for her to do, but for some reason she always felt nervous when she had to do it. Feeling that if she somehow failed she would have failed him too. Once it was all done she had to smile in success.

"All better now." She smiled picking the infant back up in her arms. She somehow felt rewarded at the fact that she had changed his diaper all by herself.

Holding him close to her chest with his head nestled in the crook of her neck she walked around hoping he would go to sleep. It was a small hope, but wouldn't hurt to try. Walking around she hummed to herself and the baby. She was completely oblivious to the world around her and the baby. No one existed but them.

"Can I hold him?"

It was a voice she never expected to ask that question. Pulling from her daze she turned around to see Shannon watching her with curious eyes. Kate couldn't help but stare back at her with question.

Was she serious?

Shannon didn't seem like the type to want a hold a baby. It just didn't seem right. Still Kate pushed thought the awkwardness and walked over to her. She stood for a moment, eyes wondering over her as she bounced the baby in her arms. If was if she was sizing Shannon up. Making sure it was ok. In the end all checked out.

"You know how to hold him?" Kate questioned slowly holding the baby out in her arms.

"I think I can wing it." Shannon smirked as Kate slid the baby into her arms.

Kate almost pulled the baby back hearing Shannon's words.

_Wing it?_

No. Nobody was going to wing it with her baby. She didn't care who it was. But it was too late. Shannon was already cradling him in her arms and smiling down upon him in joy. It was almost a struggled for her to hold back her tears as she looked up to Kate.

"He looks just like Jack." She smiled.

"Yeah…." Kate sighed nodding her head as they looked back down to him.

She did have to admit he did look like Jack, but there were some attributes of Sawyer in there. The small dimples that were forming in his cheeks were the number one thing. Most of all she thought he looked like her. Curly dark hair and freckles spotted all over his face. With the hope that Shannon's words instilled, it was still too early to tell.

"What are you going to name him?"

The thought again enter Kate's mind as she cocked her head to get a better look at him. There were so many possibilities, but only two that stuck out in her mind. Still with those two choices she couldn't decide.

"Well I was think either Ti-"

"Hey."

Jack's voice caught her as he walked up. Looking back she was still put off guard by seeing his exhausted appearance. Shannon could see it too and she slowly rolled her eyes and looked back to the baby.

"Hey." Kate smiled as she too turned back to the baby for comfort.

"How are you two doing today?" He questioned also turning his gaze upon the baby.

"Good." Kate said glancing over to Jack who was in a daze as them with the baby.

"Has he needed a diaper change yet?"

Kate stopped her thought for a moment. Her stare turned on him. She had just told him she needed diapers to change him no more then five minutes ago.

Did he not remember?

Was he that out of it?

That scared her. To think that he was so out of it from pushing himself that he didn't remember that she had told him no more then five minutes ago that his son needed to be changed, that was more then scary. It was state she wasn't willing to trust him in.

"Yeah, I took care of it."

"Really?' Jack questioned with a hint of surprise.

Kate nodded her head looking back to the baby.

"See Claire I told you could do it." He smiled as he turned around walked away.

Both Shannon and Kate looked at each other for a moment and then back to Jack.

"Did he just call you Claire?" Shannon questioned.

"Yeah…" Kate sighed turning back to Shannon.

"He's working himself to death with the baby and the burnt victims."

Looking back over her shoulder Kate watched Jack slightly stumble around. The others around him pretended not to notice. She couldn't pretend. She was going to get him to sleep if was the last thing she did that day.

Suddenly hearing the baby cry she spun around. Seeing Shannon struggle to calm him down made her smile.

"Let me." Kate smiled picking him up in her arms.

Instantly he stopped crying. She was almost in disbelief as she looked back to him resting on her shoulder. With him fidgeting against her she was still happy that he was quiet.

"See who his favorite is." Shannon smirked.

"Well seeing how I haven't let go of him in two days I'm surprised he did so well with you."

Shaking her head with a smile, Shannon wished Kate luck and turned to an approaching Sayid. Seeing him Kate took the hint and turned away from the two. Immediately she spotted Jack. He was actually sitting down sipping back the water from the water bottle in his hand. It did make her feel good to see him taking a break, but his stature and form were pathetic. He couldn't keep up the façade for long. Kate was going to make sure of that.

With a deep breath for confidence Kate looked back to the baby on her shoulder. She went through so many thoughts in her mind of how to get Jack to relax. Quickly she settled on one.

"We're going to get daddy to go to the beach with us." Kate told the infant as she looked back to Jack.

Never breaking her gaze with his weary state she slowly walked over to him. Her confidence quickly disappeared as she looked down to him. She suddenly felt sick.

"J…ack." She stammered.

His eyes were fierce as they drug themselves from the ground up to her. It was so hard not to notice the weight that sat upon them. Staring up at her, he waited for her to continue.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go with me and the baby to the be-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa Kate." He said quickly coming to his feet in front of her.

"You're not going anywhe-"

"Jack, I've been cooped up in these caves forever. I think I deserve to have some fresh air." Kate said trying to change his mind, knowing it was going to be a hard thing.

The two were pulled away from each other as the baby began to fuss in her arms. Then there was the fact that Sawyer hadn't seen the baby. The thought had completely escaped her mind for the last two days. He did have the right to see the baby as much as Jack did and she wasn't going to deprive him of that.

"Plus Sawyer hasn't see him."

"That was his choice to walk ou-"

"Do not put that on him Jack." Kate snapped challenging him as she moved in closer.

"I don't care who hasn't seen him. You're not going to the beach alone." Jack said in an "end of story sort of way".

It wasn't so much that he was worried about her going to the beach in general. He was scared of someone hurting her and the baby. After he, Sawyer, and Charlie found her lying in that ditch he never wanted to leave her side. He wasn't going to let anything or anyone hurt her or the baby she carried in her arms. He didn't care if she hated him for being so protective. It was his job to make sure she and that baby were ok.

Again Kate was put back when he said he wasn't letting her go alone. She had asked him to join along. Again he had totally forgotten her words. He was being to scare her more and more.

"Then come with us." Kate suggested.

"I can't. Not with all these people he-"

"Jack." She said resting her free hand on his shoulder.

It seemed hard for him to look at her. Like he felt guilty under her gaze.

"Please." She begged.

"If not for me, do it for him."

They both again looked down to the baby. He was again struggling against Kate feeling her uneasiness. He too wanted a change of scenery.

"What about the others Kate?"

He was trying his hardest to find away of changing her mind. The last thing he wanted to do was walk through the jungle. Fear suddenly came over him wondering what waited around each corner. Someone or something that wanted her or the baby.

"They're all adults. They can take of themselves Jack. They're not your obligation."

"Fine." He sighed giving up.

"But we're not staying that long."

That's we he thinks, she thought. If it is up to her he'll get some much-needed rest. Hopefully all three of them. The beach was so much more peaceful. The perfect place to rest. And also no one had seen her son yet. It was something that excited her.

They quickly gathered things they might need. Their stuff was a little bit heavier with all the baby things they now had to carry along. Of course Jack carried everything much to Kate's annoyance. But as they walked along the dimming trail her thought turned from Jack's demeanor to Sawyer. She question how he was going to act. She was scared he'd back off, but maybe he'd grow up help out with the responsibility.

Sitting outside of his tent staring off at the others, Sawyer felt extremely guilty. One for letting Kate get hurt. And two for leaving her. He had no idea what going on back at the caves. Whether or not she was still in labor. Maybe she had the baby already. What if the baby hadn't made it through? What if she didn't?

He felt absolutely horrible with himself as he sat back and took another long drag of his cigarette. He had gone through a pack in two days. All the stress the worrying was putting on him. He had to admit to himself that he was pathetic for leaving her. Even with all the crap he had bottled up. It was a decision he made and he would have to deal with it. No matter what happened.

As the light went out on the butt that was snug between his lips he threw it to the ground with a groan. He wanted another one then he'd be going into his last pack and that wasn't something he wanted to do. Then there was a slight glimmer and his guilt was almost lifted completely off his shoulder as he saw her walk out onto the beach out of the corner of his eye.

Taking on full glance his heart jumped up to his stomach seeing her hold a small body in her arms. That was it. That was his kid. Or what could possibly be his kid. Then there was Jack lagging closely behind her. Seeing him even Sawyer put off. He looked like crap.

A crowd came around the three causing Sawyer to quickly come to his feet. He didn't want to seem as eager as he was. He'd hang out in the back for a while and watch over everyone's shoulders.

"Oh Kate he's beautiful!" Sun cooed running her hand lightly over the baby's forehead.

"Thanks." Kate blushed.

"What's his name?" Michael asked holding Walt close to him as the boy peered over the infant's blanket.

"Don't have one yet."

"Really? He looks like a Jacob or a Brian.' Michael suggested.

All Kate could do was smile as everyone was in aw over her son. All congratulating her. Then a sudden fight over names commenced. Some of them were cute, but she had her heart set, but still wasn't ready to tell anyone. She needed a certain someone's opinion and that had to wait until they were alone.

As they all poked and smiled at the baby Kate's eyes quickly scanned the crowd realizing Sawyer was missing. The minute she looked up she saw him lurking in the back. Seeing him brought relief over her. He was ok. With a smile she waved him over.

For a minute he hesitated, but once he got a close enough glimpse of the baby in her arms he couldn't resist. Pushing through the crowd everyone backed off realizing Sawyer had been on the beach when she delivered the baby. So he hadn't seen him. The people who had no idea that the child shared two fathers stayed close behind him as he walked up to Kate and the baby.

His eyes were instantly glued to this small thing in her arms. It was entrancing as he wiggled to be free of his mother's arms. He was beautiful, Sawyer had to admit.

"Wanna hold him?" She asked holding him out for Sawyer.

"Nah, that ain't my thing Freckles."

She knew he was lying and she wasn't going to let him get away with it.

"Bull.' She smirked pressing the baby against him.

Reluctantly Sawyer wrapped his arms tightly around him. The moment Kate pulled away Sawyer was hooked. He couldn't look away and when the baby looked up to him with his blue green eyes Sawyer melted. He felt whole in that moment as he held him. It almost bought tears to his eyes, but he tried to hide them.

He couldn't fool Kate. She saw him fighting back his emotions as he held the baby. It was too much for him and almost everyone could see it. Especially Kate.

"See it's not so bad." She smiled looking between Sawyer and the baby.

"Easy for you to say. You're not afraid you going to drop him." Sawyer chuckled nervously as he readjusted the baby in his arms.

"You wo-"

"Jack are you ok?" Sun questioned calling everyone's attention to her.

"Ye-ye-." Kate heard Jack struggle to talk as Sun slowly came up to him.

Kate's attention was immediately pulled from Sawyer and the baby as Jack's words became slurred and she felt his weight sway towards her. What she came to see scared her. He was fighting his hardest not to fall to the ground as he tried to talk. When that became too much for him his eyes went wide and then shut as he squinted them tight together.

"Jack?" Kate questioned putting her hand on his shoulder with Michael and Jin came up behind him as Jack's knees began to buckle underneath his weight.

Kate's heart quickly sank when Jack's body shut down. His eyes closed and his body locked up. In one blurred moment he was falling to the sand.

"JACK!" Kate yelled coming up under him.

Her hands came up to his chest with Michael's around his arms. She tired her hardest to keep him standing as she struggled herself under his weight. His body was limp and forced her down to the sand as she keep pushing herself up against him.

"Kate!" Sun yelled trying to get her attention.

When she didn't pull away from her position under Jack as she pushed with all her strength against him, Sun came up and tried to pull her away. Kate struggled against her.

"Kate! Kate! You're not strong enough." Sun tried to tell her.

Kate gave up the moment Jack's face hit the sand. Instant images of her nightmare flashed before her eyes. Him lying in the sand dead. It drove her to go back for him. Wigging out of Sun's grasp, she dropped to his side. Grabbing him by the shoulders she tried again to push him back up.

"Kate it isn't going to work. He's out!" Sun tried to convince her as she came to her side.

Tears began to roll down Kate's cheek as she stared at him motionless body. She knew he had just collapsed under exhaustion, but somehow she had a hard time convincing herself he wanted dead. But she did feel better when Michael and Jin lift him out of the sand, one arm around each of their necks as they began to carry him down the beach. Her eyes never left him.

"He's going to be ok.' Sun tried to assured as now everyone's eyes came to Jack's limp body, which made a trail through the sand as the two men carried him.

Without words Kate came to her feet. Brushing the sand off, she turned from the sight. Not looking to any of the stares she simply walked up to Sawyer and took the baby in her arms. He was put off by her suddenness. No words, she just took him from him. Walking past all of them she followed the trail Jack's feet had made into the sand to her tent where they took him.

Three hours. Three hours and he was still out, but she never left his side. With the baby resting across her lap she sat next him as he lay in a deep sleep on her old bed. Lying with no shirt and his jeans. She thought he'd cool off and be relaxed more without his sand covered shirt. He did look peaceful without all the bullshit he had to go through. It was kind of sad how sleep bought the best of him out to the surface.

This wasn't how she wanted him to rest though. She would have rather argued with him forever then have had him collapse in the sand in front of everybody. Then there was the completely insane way she acted. Fighting to keep him up and her crying. She couldn't help it. When she saw him fall all she saw was his charred body for her dream.

The baby began to move around in her lap letting out a small cry. She turned from Jack to the baby. He was awake. Picking him up she looked over his face as if she was trying to figure out what he wanted.

"You hungry?" She asked nestling the infant against her arm.

"I bet you are. With all this excitement…" She said lifting up her shirt.

Getting comfortable she began to nurse him. With a sigh she looked down to him. Nursing him was one thing she didn't think she'd ever get used to. Although it was something she had to do, but it hurt. It felt like someone biting at her and not in that good way.

"You ok?" Charlie asked as he pulled back to the tarp of the tent.

"Yeah." Kate sighed looking back to Jack.

Charlie was quiet as he walked over to her. His eyes like hers were on Jack. He looked rough, but better then he had.

"How's he doing?"

"Haven't heard a sound out of him." Kate said looking up to Charlie.

"But it don't bother me. He's getting sleep."

"That's a good thing. He needed it." Charlie laughed.

Kate couldn't help, but join in. They were then interrupted by the mewing sound of the baby. They both looked down to him as he tired to pull away from Kate. When he wasn't dealt with instantly he became more then fussy.

"That was fast." Kate joked propping the baby up on her shoulder.

She looked around as the baby again to get fussy. He was so impatient.

"Charlie hand me that towel."

"Here you go." Charlie said handing her the towel.

Draping it over her shoulder she pressed the baby back to her shoulder. Putting her hand to his back she began to lightly pat him. Still he fussed and fought against her. It was hard to keep him still as she tried to burp him. After awhile it became exhaustion for Kate, but when he let out a low noise and settled against her Kate and Charlie felt relieved.

"Finally." Charlie smiled.

"I think he's trying to spite me." Kate joked rolling her eyes as she adjusted the infant against her.

"You know me and the others could look after him for a while Jack is out." Charlie suggested.

"Thank you, but I think I can handle him." Kate assured him.

"You sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Now you wouldn't lie to me?" Charlie questioned slowly heading for the door.

"Nope." Kate smirked.

"Well if you ever need anything you know where I live." Charlie smiled letting the trap fall back into its place.

A smile spread across her lips as she looked back down to the baby in her arms. When he again tried to struggle against her, she took the hint and laid him back across her lap. The moment he fell against her legs his eyes fell shut. Kate hoped he was falling asleep. She watched as he began to fight with himself on whether he wanted to or not. Extending her hand over his fuzz covered head she lightly ran her fingertips over his skin. He was so soft as she barely tried to touch him.

"K…ate"

Kate's eyes wondered over to Jack as his eyes were fixed on hers. His brow furrowed as he pushed himself to sit up. Resting his elbows against his legs he slumped over with heavy breath. Looking around her and around to his surroundings he tried to figure out where he was and what had happened. When none of it came to mind he closed his eyes. Brining his shaky hand up to his face he rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"What happened?" He asked looking back up to her.

"You fainted." She whispered looking back down to the baby.

"Guess that's what happens when you don't sleep for three days."

Jack quickly noticed the baby lying between her legs as she sat Indian style. He watched in a sort of guilt as she ran her fingers over his small patch of hair.

"Told you, you needed rest." She said looking back up to him.

"I don't remember you telling me that." He yawned.

"I don't think you remember a lot of things. Like me changing his diaper or you calling me Claire." She pointed out.

"I called you Claire?'

"Yep. Shannon was wondering the same thing. We all were."

Jack didn't remember any of this, but he didn't doubt it happening.

"Frankly Jack, you've were a bit of a bitch this morning."

He could tell she was a was more then pissed off with him. She was angry.

"Please don't try and push yourself like this again." She pleaded.

"You scared me."

"I'm sorry Kate." He whispered shaking his head in shame.

"I promise I won't do it again."

They both knew that was a certain guarantee as they passed small smiles back and forth as they looked back and forth between each other and the baby who obviously wanted asleep as he wiggled and stretched against Kate.

"How's he been doing with during my little relapse?" Jack questioned nodding towards the baby as he began to cry.

"Well…" Kate began picking him up in her arms.

She thought for a minute as she looked to Jack. She thought that this was the perfect alone time to get his opinion on the name she had picked out.

"He's been fussy. Of course." She smiled as she scooted closer Jack.

"What baby isn't?" He smiled.

"Anyways, since you two really didn't get a proper introduction besides you delivering him…" She continued placing the baby in his arms.

Jack like Sawyer immediately felt a peace holding this life in his arms. He had held him before of course, but he really didn't remember it. This time he would. It felt so right to be staring down at his blue green eyes as he looked up to Jack in wonder. It never ceased to amaze Jack how baby's attentions were caught by everything that moved.

"Hi." Jack in an odd high-pitched voice as he smiled.

Seeing the way Jack was with him she thought it was the best time to tell him the baby's name. She felt nervous as she hovered over Jack's shoulder. She could see the tears rolling down his cheeks. Unlike Sawyer he let them go.

"Well Jack, I want you to meet Nicholas." She said taking a deep breath waiting for his reaction.

It took him a long minute, but slowly he looked away from the baby newly christened Nicholas and back to her. There was an element of shock on his face.

"Nicholas?" He questioned.

"Yep." Kate said nodding her head.

"Is that why you asked about my middle name?"

"Yeah. I wasn't really coming up with ideas that easy."

"Nicholas." Jack repeated in near whisper as he looked back down to Nicholas.

"It was either that or Timothy." Kate announced.

"God love Sawyer, but I wasn't going to give that as a first name."

"So it's his middle name?" Jack asked.

"Yeah." Kate said looking back down to Nicholas.

"What about a last name?"

"I'll decide that when I have to."

Jack knew she still didn't know who the father was. No one did. It was too hard to tell. It didn't matter anyway. Looking from her back to Nicholas he didn't care. All that mattered was that they were ok.

"Well I will leave you two for a moment." Kate said breaking the silence.

"Where you going?" Jack questioned watching her walk towards the tarp.

"I need some me time for a bit. Need to stretch and pee." Kate laughed with a smile.

She could see the uneasiness he had as he tried to cover into up with a laugh. But she wasn't worried. He'd be fine. Plus she wasn't going to be that long.

"I already fed and burped him. He might want to sleep I don't know." She said as she pulled the tarp back.

"Good luck." She smiled as she turned and let go of the tarp.

He watched her shadow upon the tent as she walked down the beach. When she was out of sight he looked back down to Nicholas in his arms.

"Guess it's you and me."

He couldn't help but smile as he watched the infant's eyes wonder around and his hands reach up grabbing for things.

He quickly found something. Jack's chest hair. Curling his little fingers around a patch of it, he latched on.

"No." Jack said taking Nicholas' small hand in his.

"That's not yours." He laughed trying to pull his hand away.

It was no use. The more Jack pulled the tighter Nicholas' grip became. It started to hurt as he pulled at it.

"Ow!" Jack called out.

"Watch it." He laughed as Nicholas tugged back on the hair.

Getting his best grip around Nicholas' hand he tugged slightly hoping he'd let go. He didn't. Then his other little hand came up and grabbed another bunch of it. Holding onto Jack through his chest hair bunched up in his little fists, Nicholas snuggled up against him. With a small yawn he closed his eyes.

"Now I'm stuck with you." Jack whispered.

Holding him tight to his chest Jack flung his legs over the cot. As slowly, quietly, and gently as he could he got up and slid over to the airplane seat Kate had been sitting in. Resting back into it he let out a sigh looking back to Nicholas. He looked so adorable lying there even with Jack's chest hair bunched up between his fists. It was a sight that couldn't help but bring another smile to Jack's lips.

Jack ended up following in Nicholas' actions and fell asleep. Kate wondered in a little while after and almost burst into laughter seeing the position the two were in. But she kept quiet as she crawled up on to the cot Jack had been resting on. Curling up on her side she stared up at them in a daze. It was so moving to her seeing them sleeping together. She was so in a daze with it she didn't notice herself crying.

Soon sleep came over her as well. Taking one last look at the two she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

Being woken up by Sun, the three were surprised to see it was already night. There weren't surprised however to find her in a laughing fit seeing Nicholas' new toy. Jack's chest hair. It amused everyone, but Jack. It probably would have been funnier if it didn't hurt.

Changing they made there way out to the huge bond fire for dinner. Kate quickly made a beeline for Sawyer. She remembered how she had left things in felt bad. Sitting down next to him she couldn't find the words to explain what happened and how she felt. So she didn't. She just sat with Jack holding Nicholas next to her as they ate in the shadows of the fire.

Then Nicholas began to cry calling everyone's attention. Like everyone around him he was hungry. Taking him from Jack, Kate settled back as she nursed him. Some people watched, which made her uncomfortable. But once they lost interest the only stares she could feel was of Jack and Sawyer.

Jack didn't bother her as he leaned over and watched. It was weird fascination she guessed. It was. Jack thought it was beautiful. Seeing a mother and child. The most natural thing in the world. Plus the way the fire hid and highlighted certain features of both Kate and Nicholas. It looked do surreal, her sitting there with him.

Kate glanced over to see a smirk slid over Jack's face.

"What?' She questioned.

"He likes it." Jack said never moving his eyes.

"Almost as much as you." Kate shot with a huge grin.

It took a moment for Jack to catch it. When he did he looked away blushing more then she had ever seen him before. It was quite amusing. She even heard a chuckle from Sawyer. Jack just shook his head as he went back to eating.

She had hurt his confidence, but she had gotten him to look away. He had really started to freak her out.

After Nicholas was done and Kate burped him, she held him in his arms as she stared intensely into the fire. She could see Sawyer out of the corner of her eye trying to push himself to ask if he could hold Nicholas. She beat him to the punch.

"Here." She said as she handed him over.

She wasn't going to ask if he wanted to again knowing he'd probably say no.

Again that odd feeling came over Sawyer as he looked down to Nicholas. Him lying in his arms, struggling against him like he did everyone. It was so weird. He had never felt that way over anything. Maybe Kate, but he wasn't even sure he felt this sort of feeling with Kate.

"By the way his name is Nicholas." Kate smiled as she sat back.

Sawyer had no comment for the name. It didn't matter to him. All that mattered was this was somehow his. This was a part of him whether he was Jack's or not. He felt a connection with Nicholas as he stared down into his eyes as they wondered around catching sight of everything.

With a small cat like yawn, Nicholas did as he did with Jack and grabbed up for Sawyer. Not finding the chest hair he did with Jack, he instead gripped onto the ratty t-shirt Sawyer wore. Pulling it tight with his first he tried his best to bring it to his mouth. Giving up he pressed his forehead up against Sawyer's chest and closed his eyes.

Sawyer couldn't hide his smile. Still knowing Kate and Jack both watched him he didn't care. He couldn't help but smile as he stared down at him. And in some odd way Sawyer felt like a father.

**Author's Note: **_Hoped you all enjoyed that. I thought it was pretty cute myself. Anways to those who are reading my other fic as well; Living Past Seclusion, i will ahve an update soon. I've just been tweeking the outline and didn't want to prgress without knowing forsure how it was all going to work out. So don't worry! It'll be soon i promise!_


	22. Lost in Parenthood

_Sorry this on took so long. I juts didn't have anytime. I also cut i down, but put what i didn't add into the next chapter. So don't owrry (Smiles) As always thank you all so much! Without you guys watching Lost would be quiet boring. Hope you enjoy!_**  
**

**Lost in Parenthood**

"Shhh."

Kate tried her hardest to clam Nicholas down. With near six weeks since he was born he hadn't change in his fussiness and unwillingness to give he a break. Bouncing him in her arms as she walked around the caves. It almost was becoming numbing to her as she went into her third day without sleep. This sudden fit that he had burst into was keeping her from even sitting down to rest.

"Come on Nicholas." She pleaded with him.

As if on cue he began screaming bloody murder. Squalling and yelling for something Kate didn't understand. It aggravated her knowing she did everything she thought would help and yet he still cried.

"Please." She whined adjusting him in her arms.

He didn't stop. He continued pulling at Kate's fallen hair begging her for something. Taking a hold of his hand she yanked her hair away from him with force. It wasn't the best thing to do. He yelled out as if he was in pain. It quickly turned everyone's stares towards her.

A sudden hand upon her back nearly made her jump. Spinning around full force with Nicholas held tight against her, she came to see Jack. His eyes went wide as he saw her. Her body disheveled and worn. Her hair thrown about. She looked exhausted. Then he looked down to Nicholas who stopped for a second as his eyes caught Jack, but soon he went back to crying.

"What's wrong?" Jack questioned looking down to Nicholas.

"I don't know." Kate cried turning away from Jack.

"That's the problem."

He noticed her trying to hide herself from him. Still he kept close to her. Looking back and forth between her weary face and Nicholas' pleading one.

"Is he hungry?"

"Nursed him five minutes ago."

"Has he had his diaper changed?"

"Yes. Right after I fed him."

"Had he had a nap?"

"Yes Jack!" She snapped looking up to him.

He was quickly put off by her fierceness. She had to be jumpy and put off front the sleep he knew she was lacking. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen her sleep or even sit down.

"I've done everything and he won't shut up." She whispered, as her voice suddenly became horse from the tears rolling down her cheek.

"Hey it's ok." He tried to assure her in a low gentle voice as he brought his hand to her back.

"Not it's not!" She snapped again as she pulled form his grasp.

"He's screaming an crying and I don't know what he wants!"

She began to walk around again bouncing Nicholas against her body. Trying all she could to get him just to calm down. And Jack was right behind her. Keeping his eyes on her and Nicholas. He was so close his breath was on her neck and that just added to the aggravation she was feeling.

"Could you just leave me alone?" She questioned glancing up to him.

"No."

She slowly pulled her gaze away from him and turned. Slowly walking away she waited for him to give up and walk away, but that was false hope. He was up on her back again looking over her shoulder. It was more then aggravating feeling his hard breath on her neck. And along with it Nicholas' crying was becoming erratic. She couldn't take it anymore. It all came down on her as Jack reached for her arm.

"Jack, just please go away!" Kate yelled loud enough for her voice to echo over the cave walls.

Nicholas followed suit and began to cry louder.

"Shh. It's ok. It's ok-" She tired again to comfort him.

"Give him to me." Jack demanded in a gentle tone.

Kate closed her eyes that were smudged with dry tears. Feeling Nicholas' weight lifted from her body made her feel powerless. It almost hurt her to look up to Jack cradle Nicholas in his arms against his chest. It was a sort of separation anxiety. In the sixth weeks he had been alive she barely let him out of her sight let alone let anyone else hold him. There were a few instances, but Nicholas barely left her arms. She was scared of him being taken away.

Almost the instant he was in Jack's arms he calmed down and settled.

Kate stared up at him with wide eyes of frustration.

"How'd you?"

Jack looked up of from Nicholas to her. He quickly saw the frustration in her eyes.

"He feels you're restless…" He began turning back to Nicholas who cooed as he began to suck on his thumb. He was now content.

"If you're restless, he's restless." Jack finished in a whisper as Nicholas closed his eyes.

"Well I guess you know everything don't you?" Kate snapped.

Jack looked back up to her. With the way she stood and stared at him, he could tell her body was fighting her. She needed to rest.

"Come on." He said.

"What?"

"Come on." He repeated grabbing her by the arm with his free hand. With that he pulled her away from her lonesome spot and began to lead her towards her and Nicholas' cave.

They came into the cave. Walking her over to her bed, he let go and gently pushed her down to where she sat on its edge. With a deep exhale upon his hand sge up to him. His look was stern as he hand came back to cradle Nicholas as he began to stir.

"You're going to sleep. And I'm going to watch him." Jack announced as his eyes went back to Nicholas.

"But Jack, what if he gets hungry? What if he needs me? What if-"

"No what ifs. You need to rest and you'll do if I have to make you. Remember when two days after he was born and I hadn't slept?" He questioned looking back down to her.

She rolled her as she looked away from his aggravated stare. She wasn't in the mood for him to be lecturing her. He did have a point, but it was bigger point that she didn't have the patience for it.

He could see her stubbornness as she tried to avoid him. He wasn't going to let her.

"I don't want you doing this to yourself or to him." He finished as his eyes shifted back and forth between the two people he loved most.

"What if-"

"If it happens I will bring him to you. Then you'll go back to sleep and sleep till you are rested."

Slowly she turned her head and looked up to him. The look in his eyes send an odd feeling through her body and when he tried to comfort Nicholas with the most gentle soft tone as he started to move around against him, Kate held hard not to lose it. It was if in that moment it clicked in her head. Seeing him take Nicholas' tiny hand around his finger as he whispered hope to him, tore her apart and she gave up.

"Ok." She whispered as her voice became shaky with tears.

Jack's eyes immediately took her hearing her sniff her tears back. He knew she finally saw it and she was going to listen. Even though that made him happy, he still felt bad.

"Good." He whispered back with a small smile.

Helping her the best she could with a baby in his arm, he got her to lie down. Pulling a blanket up to her waist, turned to her side and looked up to him. She stared into his eyes intensely trying to keep them open. Slowly she looked down to Nicholas. Watching him try his hardest to pull Jack's finger into his mouth.

"He'll be ok. I promise." Jack said seeing her attention on Nicholas.

"He's in good hands."

"I know.' Kate smiled.

With a yawn she closed her eyes and fell fast asleep. A smile appeared on Jack's face seeing her body come over with ease. It did him good to see her finally resting. He imagined this had to be what she felt like when he collapsed and finally got to sleep. His thoughts were quickly interrupted by Nicholas' sudden scream.

He looked down to him and saw him fighting again to get Jack's finger in his mouth. Jack had to shake his head holding back a chuckle as he again pulled at Jack's finger. When he couldn't quite make it reach he screamed out again.

"Shhh. Mommy's sleeping." Jack said as he gave in and let the child suck on his index finger. He quickly shut up.

With a sigh of relief with both Nicolas and Kate content, he turned back to Kate. Leaning over he left a kiss atop her forehead. Pulling back he stared at her for a long moment. Watching her breathe. Then holding Nicholas tightly, he came to his feet. Before he walked out he looked back over his shoulder to make sure she was still sleeping.

"Sweet dreams." He whispered before he turned back and walked out with Nicholas in his arms.

Coming out into the caves he carried on with Nicholas in his arms. Then he came to realize he needed to go to the beach and get some things done. He wondered how he was going to manage with Nicholas. He thought about waking up Kate, but quickly changed his mind knowing it wouldn't be right. So he was going to take him with him.

Gathering his things along with Nicholas, he slung his backpack over his shoulder. Walking through the caves quickly making sure everyone was occupied and ok, he checked in on Kate. She still ay there peacefully asleep. Again it put a smile to his face. Feeling ok with everything he looked down to Nicholas.

"Ready?" He asked.

Nicholas just looked up to him with big eyes.

"Ok." Jack smiled.

Pulling the strap of the backpack up on his shoulder he adjusted Nicholas in his. With a deep sigh he headed towards the entrance to the caves and out on the trail to the beach.

Not before long Nicholas was asleep in Jack's arm, which made him feel so much better. But at the same time meant he's probably be awake at the beach, which meant of course Jack would have to devote his whole attention to him. It all just made Jack's job much harder. He wasn't going to complain though; he didn't have it as bad as Kate. Plus he was looking forward to spending time with Nicholas.

Once they were less then 100 yards from the beach, Nicholas woke back up. Immediately he looked to Jack for some explanation as to what was going on. With a smile Jack looked him in the eyes.

"This is what I do for a living here…" He began.

"Besides all the doctor stuff back at the caves."

Nicholas reached up for Jack as if to tell him to continue. Jack again had to shake his head with a laugh. He felt as if he could tell Nicholas everything. All his secrets and faults, because Nicholas couldn't say anything to anyone. He could tell him what he really thought.

"Sometimes I wish I wasn't a doctor or the leader like everyone has made me out to be…."

"Then I look to your mommy and it's all worth it every time. And now with you I don't even think twice. For some reason I just want to make everything safe and better for you." He smiled looking down to Nicholas as he hung onto his every word in a daze.

"I love you and your mommy very much and I'll do anything for you two."

Jack hadn't noticed he was on the beach until he looked up. He was so into the one sided conversation he was having with Nicholas. Almost instantly when he stepped out form under the jungle's tree canopy Nicholas let out a loud noise that turned into a cry.

"Shhh it's ok." Jack tried to comfort him as he rocked him back and forth in his arms.

It was no use He continued to cry

Jack didn't know what was the matter. Earlier it was easy to see he was unhappy with Kate, then he wanted something to suck on, now Jack didn't know what he wanted. He didn't know what was the matter.

He quickly looked around searching the beach for something, anything to calm him down. His eyes quickly locked with the ocean and it's roaring waves. Maybe it could work, he thought. The waves always calmed him down.

Walking across the sand he looked to each person he passed. They all either gave him looks of confusion or happiness. The happiness was obvious, but the confusion was from the fact that no one had really seen Jack let anyone, but Kate hold him. It was weird to him as it was them.

Coming to the surf he took Kate's approach and kicked off his boots. Waiting fro the surf to retreat he dug he feet into the damp sand.

"There we go." He smiled as Nicholas became quiet.

It was a few moments of peace as the two of them stared out over the water. But it didn't last. He started out fussing and then began to cry.

"What is it?" Jack questioned looking down to the squalling infant.

"What's the matter?" He asked holding Nicholas before him.

He stared him over before placing him back in his arms. He began to rock him back in forth as his eyes turned him back to the ocean. His mind wondered over everything him and Kate had done to calm him down. Singing immediately popped into Jack's mind. Although it wasn't something he did, he was willing to do anything at that point to get Nicholas to stop crying. He remembered how Charlie had sang some Driveshaft songs to him the night before to get him to go to sleep, but Jack didn't know any of them. His mind wondered over what was sung to him as a little kid.

He looked back down to Nicholas as he continued to cry and struggle against him. Seeing Jack, his eyes quickly became wide and attentive as he cried waiting for something. Jack took a deep breath slowly closing his eyes.

"Winnie the Pooh, Winnie the Pooh, silly willy old bear. Winnie the Pooh, Winnie the Pooh, cuddly little- stuffed with- fluff."

Nicholas started up again hearing Jack's obvious mistakes in the song. He also knew Jack was nervous. And he was. From trying to calm down a child that wouldn't calm down to having to sing songs from his childhood, it wasn't going to well.

His mind again wondered for a song a Nicholas continued to cry. So many lyrics ran through his mind all jumbled together. One stuck out. Another deep breath.

"You are my sunshine my only sunshine. You make me happy when skied are gray."

Slowly with each note of Jack's voice butchering the song, Nicholas settled down. He was almost completely silent and still, but Jack was going to make sure.

"You'll never know dear how much I love you. So please don't take my sunshine away."

Jack drew the last note out as Nicholas closed his mouth and his lids wavered shut. Jack was completely still as he let his voice hum out. His eyes never moved from Nicholas. Waiting a few minutes he hoped he was asleep. Seeing no movement and hearing no sound, Jack eased him back into his arms.

His hope quickly shattered as Nicholas' head touched the inside of Jack's elbow. He began to whine. Jack lowered his head in defeat.

"Come on Nicholas." He winded himself as he tried to move Nicholas back into the position he had been.

Still he cried and struggled in Jack's embrace. There was only one thing Jack could do.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me-"

He stopped seeing Sun walk up out of the corner of his eye. He almost didn't look over knowing the look she probably had on her face. When he did she was looking up to him with a smile.

"You have a lovely singing voice." She said as her grin became bigger.

"Yeah…" Jack blushed looking back to the fussy child in his arms.

"He doesn't seem to like too much."

"He's gotten so big." She smiled gazing over Nicholas as his eyes instantly became attached to her.

After sniffing back his current tears, he took a deep breath and began to cry again. Jack couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"And fussy."

"Yeah." Jack chuckled shaking his head.

Sun couldn't help but became enamored with Nicholas. Fussy or not. He was so cute and so innocent. It warmed her heart.

"I found something that might calm him down." She announced looking back up to Jack.

"Oh yeah?" Jack questioned instantly perking up with the possibility of him claming down.

His intrigue pulled him away from the surf. It quickly got the beat of him as he followed her up the beach.

They came to her tent where Jin was not far away working on building something with Michael. Jack stopped and watched her with curious eyes as she walked over to a makeshift pot hanging over the fire. Picking up tong shaped utensils she had obviously made, she stuck them into the water.

Jack waited patiently with a still fussy Nicholas as Sun took something into her hand. Grabbing a towel that was hanging near by she wiped whatever it was off. With a smile she walked up to Jack and put out her hand. Opening it Jack came to see a pacifier in the palm of her hand.

A smile came over his face as he took it from her. He looked it over before looking up to her.

"You found this?" He questioned with a furrowed brow

"Yeah. Thought you could use it."

"Well let's see." Jack grinned as he lowered it to Nicholas.

Running over his small quivering lips he let him feel it. He waited for a minute to see if he would take it. As if on cue, Nicholas opened up his mouth and wrapped his lips around the rubber. Pulling into his mouth with his tongue he began to suck on it. He was instantly quiet.

"Thank god." Jack sighed.

"You're a saint." He said looking to Sun.

"Oh it was nothing." She blushed.

"No you don't know what this means."

"Well I do have something else that you can have for him. If you want it?" Sun smile with a raised eyebrow as she turned.

Jack didn't think twice. Anything that helped as much the pacifier was he would take. He and Kate needed all the help they could get. He thought maybe she had made a mobile of some sort to keep him entertained. What she came out of her tent with put him at a loss for words.

"A car seat?"

"Uh huh. Michael found it in with the luggage." Sun said nodding her head as she put it down in the sand in front of Jack.

Jack bent over best he could with Nicholas now content in his arms. He looked it over and checked it out. Besides the seat belt being burnt off and a few cracks here and there it was perfect.

"Thank you." Jack expressed looking up to her.

"I mean it thank you." He said again as he came to his feet an embraced her in a hug.

"Anything for you and Kate, and of course him." Sun smiled running her finger over Nicholas' pudgy cheek.

Taking a hold of the handle on the car seat, Jack wandered over to where he was supposed to be all day sorting things. Setting the seat down in the sand, Jack squatted down to put Nicholas down in it. Brining his hand to the back of he head he began to lower him till he saw Sawyer walk by.

His stare quickly came to Nicholas. His eyes were wide and suddenly heavy as he stared down at him. And it was constant as he walked on to his tent. Jack wandered for a minute about whether or not he could leave Nicholas with Sawyer for a while. He didn't like the idea of dumping Nicholas off on anyone, but Sawyer was his father as was he and he hadn't seen him in such a long while. It'd probably be good for the both of them.

Settling on it, he put Nicholas back in has arms as he stood. Bending down he picked up the car seat and headed towards Sawyer's tent. Coming to the entrance he peered in feeling somewhat that he would find Kate in there kissing like last time he had just walked in. Instead he found Sawyer walking around searching through the many suitcase and bags he had lying around. Jack doubted if any were actually his.

"Hey doc." Sawyer smirked seeing Jack stand there.

"Sawyer.' Jack said waking into the tent.

Sawyer's eyes went to Nicholas immediately. Seeing the small boy with the fuzz of hair on his head and the freckles on his nose peaking out over the top of the pacifier made him feel weak.

"To what do I owe this honor?" He asked turning away as looking at him became too hard.

"I was wondering if you could watch him. So I could get some things done out on the beach."

Sawyer's heart snuck to his stomach. That was the last thing he wanted at that moment. To be alone with the child that was supposablly his son. The child that lowered his emotions to that of a pregnant woman. He didn't think he could do it.

"Where's Kate?"

"She's sleeping. Back at the caves. She's been up with him for three strait days. I took him off her hands." Jack explained.

"And now you want to put him on me?" Sawyer questioned flashing Jack a grin.

He hoped his cheep shot would throw Jack off to his deep insecurities.

"I really need someone to watch him and you're the only on I trust."

"You trust me?" Sawyer questioned as he brow furrowed.

"Yeah. I mean you are his father or possib-"

"Yeah. Yeah. I know."

There was a sudden odd tension between the two. The question of the father had always loomed over them, but this was the first time they had said anything to one another.

"So will you?" Jack asked.

Sawyer looked from Jack down to Nicholas. Who stared up at him with his odd bluish green eyes as if he was pleading with him. He couldn't say no.

"Yeah." Sawyer sighed lowering his head.

"Thanks.' Jack smiled.

He took charge. Walking past Sawyer he set down the car seat on Sawyer's bed. Pushing the handle back he slowly lowered Nicholas into the seat. Standing up he looked down to him in a daze. It was one he couldn't even pull away from as Sawyer walked up behind him.

"Kate's already nursed him. He's napped off and on."

He slowly looked back to Sawyer who too was in a daze with Nicholas.

"And he seems to be fine if you keep the pacifier in his mouth. If it happens to fall on the ground or anything don't put it back in his mouth. Go give it to Sun she'll know what to do. And it-"

"I got it!" Sawyer exclaimed.

He was tried of the rules and he restrictions already.

"I think I can handle the little guy."

Jack stared into Sawyer's eyes for a moment. As if to size him up. To make sure he was going to take care on Nicholas. Not that he didn't trust him, it was just that it was Sawyer."

"All right." Jack sighed turning back to Nicholas.

With a smile he picked him back up into his arms. He almost didn't want to let him go or sit him down.

"I'll see latter buddy." He smiled kissing Nicholas on the forehead.

"Have fun." He said handing him off to Sawyer.

As like the first time he held him, Sawyer was extremely careful. Cradling his head as he pulled him to his chest. He wanted to sort of prove himself. But still he didn't know what to do with this small life in his arms. He had never been around babies before.

Jack waved bye to Nicholas before turning and walking back out to beach. He left Sawyer standing there. Holding Nicholas tightly in his arms as to make sure not to drop him. He almost wanted to call after Jack and tell him to forget it, but then again it might not be that bad. Looking down to him he was completely lost.


	23. Resentment

_Here it is! For some reason this chapter made me laugh at the begining anf cry at the end...  
_

**  
Resentment **

Sawyer stood for the longest time in the same spot in the sand staring down at Nicholas with no idea of what to do. His body kept wanted to walk forward, go out o to the beach, and give him back to Jack, but then again he thought this was something he had to get over. He couldn't just go away and expect Kate to jus to just give up. Plus deep down he didn't want to go away. In his heart he wanted to get to know him.

Slowly turning around he tried to jog his memory to what he had been doing. He spotted the open suitcase with thing he had collected thrown about. He had been sorting through the stuff he had been hoarding. He needed to get back to it, but now he had Nicholas. How could he do anything with a baby?

He looked back to his bed and the saw the car seat Jack had brought in with him. Adjusting Nicholas against him he walked over. Hoping he could sit him in there for a while.

"You're going to sit in here for a second. Ok?" He asked as he put his hand to the back of his head.

Sitting him back in the seat his hands guiding his tiny body to the material. Never letting go of him, too afraid if he did something would happen. He was so worried about doing something wrong. Nicholas let out a faint cry as Sawyer's hand slid out form under him.

Sawyer quickly looked up to him. Nicholas' eyes were glued to Sawyer's as they filled with tears.

"What? What?" He asked staring at Nicholas with wide of eyes of sudden wonder.

He quickly looked him over confused as to why he was suddenly crying. Why was he crying? He didn't cry with Jack. Maybe because it was Jack and this was Sawyer. Maybe the baby knew something deep down inside that only babies knew. Maybe he knew Sawyer wasn't the father there for he didn't have to keep calm with him.

All sorts of thoughts swirled in Sawyer's mind as he panicked. He didn't know what to do. Jack had told him he had been fed and he had taken a nap. What else was there for him to cry about? Then it clicked.

Sawyer quickly sat up strait and stared hard into Nicholas' eyes. With a raise eyes brow he quickly became uneasy and uncomfortable at the thought. His face became distorted as he looked to Nicholas.

"Uh uh." He said shaking his head.

Nicholas began to cry louder as he bawled his hands into tiny little fists. It made Sawyer's heart ache seeing him suddenly in some sort of pain or whatever was wrong with him. He knew he couldn't leave him like that. He had to gather his strength and do it.

Leaning down he sucked in a deep breath. Slowly closing his eyes he let the breath blow out over his lips. He couldn't believe he was doing this. Taking another deep breath he began to sniff around for any kind of smell that could tell him what he needed to know.

He felt a tug at his head. Then another quickly after it. Glancing up he saw Nicholas had grabbed a strand of his hair into one of his little fist and was pulling his hardest at it. He let out a giggle over his lowering cry as he flailed his arm around in the air pulling tighter on Sawyer's head making all sorts of noises. At least he wasn't crying anymore and that put Sawyer' heart pace back to normal.

Reaching up he grabbed a hold of Nicholas' hand and tried to pull his hair free. Nicholas wasn't having it. He held it tighter and gave it another tug.

"OW! Dammit!" Sawyer yelled wincing in pain.

He went for it again and again Nicholas pulled it tighter.

"Come on need my hair back!" Sawyer exclaimed pulling at his tiny hand again.

Finally he pried apart his pudgy fingers. He pulled his hair back leaving Nicholas' hand I mid air. He looked up at his empty hand for a minute and then to Sawyer before he began to whimper. Sawyer quickly looked at him and saw he was on the verge of crying again.

"No. No. No. Come on please don't cry." Sawyer begged.

Turning away he searched frantically through his things. Looking for anything he could play with. All of it was person needs type of things. No baby toys.

"There has to be something!' Sawyer groaned gritting his teeth.

Plunging his hand into one of the bags he reached around aimlessly for something. Then he heard a squeak that got both of their attentions. Pulling his hand back he came to see it was some sort of stuffed bear.

His eyes turned to Nicholas who looked over at him with wanting eyes. He wasn't crying anymore, but he was whining. With a smile Sawyer handed him the small bear. Taking it in his hands he looked it over. Accessing it. Instantly he held it up in the air and began trying his hardest to squeeze it. He liked the sound it made and it became a game to see how many times he could make the noise.

Sawyer had to smile at his own satisfaction. He got him to stop crying. Now he could get back to what he had been doing.

"Now be quiet." Sawyer warned with a smile as he pointed down to Nicholas.

He didn't even pay attention he was too mesmerized by the bear and the noise it was making. He didn't care about Sawyer anymore.

"Good."

And with the, Sawyer gave the car seat a gentle tap sending it into a rocking motion. With a deep breath he turned and walked over to his things. Leaving Nicholas to sit and suck on his pacifier as he swung the squeaky bear in the air.

"So everything is going ok with you and little one?" Charlie asked looking over to Kate as they walked along the trail to the beach.

"Yeah. So far so good. He's just a little fussy." Kate said looking down to her feet as they walked.

"All babies are." Charlie tried to assure her.

"He seems extra fussy.' Kate joked with a smile.

The two got quiet as they came out on the clearing of the beach. The sudden sound of waves soothed Kate. It brought a conclusion to the rest she had had that day. Now back to being a mother. She was almost put into a daze thinking about it.

"Well I got to meet Hurley down at the other side of the beach." Charlie announced pulling away from her.

Kate jerked her head over out of her daze to see him walking away. Then he stopped and turned back to her.

"We're going fishing." He said with a huge grin.

"Have fun." She smile watching him walk down the beach.

Kate's eyes moved away from him and looked over the beach for Jack. She half expected him to see her first, but he hadn't come running up yet. She didn't see him either. She began to wonder where he was. Scanning the beach she saw neither of them. Not that she thought in any way they'd be separated, but she can to the point of looking for both of them.

"Hey Charlie!" She yelled down the beach.

He stopped mid stride and looked back to her. Immediately he saw confusion over her stance. She was balancing on one leg instead of on both.

"Yeah?" He questioned.

"You sure Jack was supposed to be out here on the beach right?" She asked looking around again making sure she wasn't missing him sitting somewhere.

"Yeah. He said he'd be out here with the little one." He smiled.

"Ok."

She was uneasy still as she looked around. Maybe they were more towards the surf, she thought. Walking slowly across the sand she listened for the familiar sound of Nicolas crying. She didn't hear it at first, when she did it came from a place she didn't expect.

Her eyes quickly glanced over to where his crying was coming from. Sawyer's tent. Why was it coming from Sawyer's tent? Nicholas was supposed to be with Jack. Kate didn't leave herself time to think. She just turned and headed up towards Sawyer tent.

Sawyer tried his best to block out the screaming. It wasn't something that came easy. Then he would look up and see Nicholas' distorted face as his mouth hung open crying. That didn't help matters. It just sent the worse possible feeling to the pit of his stomach.

Standing up he walked through the sand over to him. He stood for a moment looking down to the crying infant with a furrowed brow. Leaning over him he slid his hands under him with ease. As gently and slowly as he could, he picked him up and brought him to his chest.

Yet still he cried begging again for something he could not say. It began to frustrate Sawyer as he carried along around his tent. Bouncing Nicholas in his arms.

"You're causing as much trouble now then before you were born." Sawyer chuckled thinking if he'd talk Nicholas would calm down.

He was wrong. Nicholas continued to bawl. Again Sawyer had no idea what to do. So he did what he had done the first time. Again no diaper change. Setting him back in the car seat he tried the bear again. He threw it to the sand. It left him with one option. What he did when Claire's baby cried. He tried to read to him.

Grabbing Water Ship Down he came over and sat down next to the car seat on the bed. Picking up his handmade glasses from one of the case near by, he slipped them over his ears letting them sit low on his nose.

Before opening the book he gave the seat a little tap causing it rock back and forth. He thought it would calm him down, but it only caused him to cry more. So Sawyer quickly stopped it and went on to read the story.

Taking a deep breath he shook all the negative thoughts out of his head and began to read.

"Water Ship Down by-"

That's all he got out before Nicholas let out a scream. Sawyer looked up over the top of the book. There he sat thrashing his arms about as he kicked his feet up and down. He was causing the seat to move more back and forth than Sawyer had. His screaming was to the point that it was giving Sawyer more of a migraine then he already had.

He thought maybe if he continued he might clam down after a while. With another deep breath he ran his hand through he hair and turned back to the book.

"By-"

He let out another blood chilling scream as he struggled within the seat. Sawyer glanced up and felt his stomach go weak knowing he had no idea what to do. He also knew he couldn't just sit there and stare at him hoping he shut up.

"What?" Sawyer asked leaning over him.

He half expected him to grab a hold of his hair again, but instead he turned away form Sawyer and continued to scream. Every time he let out another cry another hair stood up straighter on Sawyer's back.

"What do you want?" He questioned in a whine.

It was to the point where he wanted to cry himself. He was so helplessly lost. All he could do was stare down at Nicholas trying to think of something to do.

"I don't know what you wa-"

"What's going on here?"

Sawyer's head snapped around to see Kate standing in the entranceway of his tent. She stared at him with question written all over her face. She said nothing looking away from him and over to Nicholas. A smile came across her face as she slowly made her way over to him.

Sawyer looked away from her and back to Nicholas. His eyes went wide and immediately caught sight of Kate as she came hovering over him. Seeing her didn't change his mood. He only stopped crying for a brief second before he began to whimper again.

"He's been like that all day." Sawyer huffed rolling his eyes looking away.

"Oh Nicholas…." She began pushing her hair behind her ear as she slid her hands under him.

Holding him in her arms with his head resting in the bend of her elbow she looked down to Sawyer. She could see the somewhat release he felt when she picked him up. Although he still cried, Kate had him and probably knew what to do.

"Has he been changed?" She asked locking eyes with him.

"I checked that."

Kate spotted Water Ship Down in Sawyer hand. She had to smile at his attempt to read to Nicholas.

"Maybe he doesn't like bunnies." She smirked pulling at the book with her free hand.

Sawyer quickly snatched it back and took the comment as an insult.

"No. I read this thinking he'd calm down, but he didn-"

"What's this?" She questioned leaning down over the car seat she failed to notice.

She picked up the pacifier Sun had given Jack. The one thing that had kept him quiet up till them.

"Don't know. He was sucking on it when Jack brought him by." Sawyer shrugged.

"So Jack brought him by?" She questioned bringing the pacifier to Nicholas' mouth.

"Yeah. Asked if I could watch him cause he had things to do and you were-"

Sawyer stopped and turned his attention to a now completely silent Nicholas. Kate even looked down and instantly felt at ease to see him quietly sucking on the pacifier as he looked back and forth between Sawyer and Kate.

"You have to be shitting me." Sawyer exclaimed with wide eyes.

"He just wanted the pacifier." She smiled running his finger over his forehead and down his cheek.

"Yeah, he just doesn't like me." Sawyer groaned.

"Sawyer."

Kate scolded him with a harsh stare causing him to turn away. It was how he felt. At times. Kate slowly turned her stare back to Nicholas.

"What makes you think that?"

"He wasn't crying when Jack brought him in here." Sawyer said.

"Maybe Jack was doing something else to keep him calm."

"Whatever." Sawyer sighed pulling his glasses off as he got up.

"I think he doesn't like me."

"Spend some time with him. He just doesn't know you as well as he does Jack." Kate suggested following Sawyer around with his eyes as she stood in her place.

"Cause the Doc's practically attached to your hip." Sawyer smirked.

"No, it's just that you aren't around as much."

"You're never out on the beach. You should be out here more."

"I can't do that to him. Have him switched back and forth with him being so young. I'm not exactly happy with Jack bringing him out here in the first place. He's not ready to be juggled around Sawyer." She said.

"Then how am I supposed to see him?" He questioned.

"Come to the caves."

"Yeah, ok. Jack would be real happy with that one." Sawyer chuckled.

"It's not up to Jack!" Kate exclaimed.

"You're his father too." She continued looking down to Nicholas as he moved around in her arms.

"Neither Jack or anyone else can stop you from seeing him. And when he's stronger he can come out to the beach."

Sawyer was silent with her words as he lowered his head. She was right. He just wanted a simple reason as to why Nicholas was crying so much. Him not being the father was simple to him.

Both looked back to Nicholas as he let out a small sigh. Seeing him yawn and close his eyes Kate realized he had settled now as was ready for sleep.

"Well I guess he's going to be out soon, better go find Jack." She said gathering Nicholas' things.

Sawyer stood where he was as she put all of his things together in the bag Jack had left with Sawyer. She thought about taking the car seat with her, but decided it'd be best for Sawyer to keep for when he had Nicholas. If in fact he got over everything.

Leaning over she picked up Nicholas' bag and pulled it over her shoulder. Making sure he was secure in her arms she readied to walk out. But not before turning back to Sawyer. His lonesome demeanor almost broke her heart.

"Remember what I said. Anytime you want to."

With a sigh he nodded his head. Standing in his place still he watched her turn and begin to head out. His eyes wondered over to the car seat and took notice of the toy bear sitting in it. He almost had to smile thinking back to how excited Nicholas seemed when he gave it to him. Trying his hardest to make it squeak.

"Wait!" He called behind her.

She looked back before she stopped. She began confused seeing him walk up with something in his hand. His eyes didn't even meet hers. They instead were attached to Nicholas who was already asleep.

"Here.' He said handing Kate the bear.

She stared at it with question for a minute. Then it became apparent.

"He likes to try and make it squeak." Sawyer explained.

"Oh. Thanks." She smiled shoving it in the bag with Nicholas' other things.

"No problem." Sawyer smiled.

She almost wanted to hug him or leave a kiss on his cheek, but if felt wrong. She wasn't supposed to have feeling for Sawyer anymore, but she did. Looking down to her son in her arms and back up to Sawyer those once denied and hidden feelings came back up. She had to walk away before seeing him became too much.

Coming out on the beach the breeze hit her and the waves calmed her. She felt better having left Sawyer's tent, but at the same time she felt horrible for the way she left things. She shook every thought about him out of her head seeing Jack sitting off to the side of her as he sorted through things.

He looked up to her as she came close. A smiled came over his lips seeing how much better she looked. Her face was lightened with a smile as her hair whipped across it in the wind. He couldn't count how many times a day he said to him self that she was beautiful.

"Hey." She smiled dropping Nicholas' bags to the sand.

He said nothing as she sat down next to him. His eyes quickly came to Nicholas. Seeing him sleeping in Kate's arms made him feel even better and made him think she was more beautiful.

"When'd you come out here?" He asked going back to what he was doing trying to hide his obvious thoughts.

"A little while ago with Charlie." She smiled.

"With Charlie? You didn't come alone?"

"No, why?"

"No reason. Just glad you didn't go by yourself." He said.

"Jack, I'm perfectly fine to walk around by myself. I haven't had any one follow or try to hur-"

"Yeah, but someone did. And they tried to do something to him before he was even born." He expressed acknowledging Nicholas.

"You don't need to worry about me Jack." She said barely above a whisper.

"I can't help it. No matter what I say I'll always worry about you and him."

She couldn't help but smile at his words. It was the truth. He was always worried about her and probably always will be. Jack was just that way. He cared too much.

"How'd he do with Sawyer?" Jack asked.

"Good." Kate said nodding her head.

There was no way she was going to tell Jack the things Sawyer said. That was just going to give fuel to the kindling fire that was slowly trying to go out. Things were good between the three and she wasn't going to jeopardize that.

"Good." Jack smiled turning his attention back to cleaning up the mess he made.

"Yeah…" Kate sighed glancing over her shoulder.

There she came to see what she expected to see. Sawyer standing outside his tent, cigarette hanging in his mouth. His eyes turned from the water that captivated him over to her. His stance changed seeing her staring back at him. He couldn't take the odd pressure it put over him for one minute. Flicking the cigarette quickly to the sand he turned. He didn't even give her a glance as he walked back into his tent.

"We should head back."

Kate looked back to see Jack already to his feet before her. Catching his eyes as they stared down at her made her almost shake with confusion of feelings. She was suddenly lost in the moment. Stuck in between the three things she loved most.

"What?" She questioned shaking it out of her head as she became on the verge of tears.

"We need to head back before he wakes up." Jack repeated.

"Yeah, ok." She said as her eyes wondered away from him and down to the sand.

She almost burst out into tears feeling Jack's hand cup her face. His touch sent so many mixed messages to her brain. She wanted to fight it, but she let go and looked up to him.

"Are you ok?" He asked.

"Yeah.' She smiled nodding her head.

"You sure?"

"Yeah." She said again looking down to Nicholas.

Seeing him changed all the images and feelings in her mind. At that moment she thought about him. The one person who she held above everyone else. He was the only thing that mattered in her mind.

"Come on." Jack said taking her by the hand.

Coming to her feet, she quickly began to follow him. Past everyone and all of their lives. Walking past Sawyer's tent she didn't even acknowledge the feeling she was having. Instead she pushed them all to the back of her head as she walked. She focused all of her attention on Nicholas as she and Jack walked back to the caves.


End file.
